Witnessed a bad parenting moment at MK and . . .

[1971DBday]

The concern here is not if the OPs child is reacting the wrong or right way...it is the fact that no one should hit their child like that! I personally would have gotten a CM if I felt uncomfortable saying something to the parent and asked for Security. Even if this was an inappropriate reaction by the Dad, he may have regretted it once he calmed down. Either way a thurough questioning from WDW security may have shaken him up a bit. If it wouldn't you would have a bigger problem.

Maybe have this be a lesson that you could teach your child. We did or did not react the right way (it is based on your beliefs). If you ever see another child being hit that way by an adult, tell an adult you trust.

 

[disneyshakeygirl]

is your son always that dramatic? That's just a bit much for me.

If that is the worse thing he ever witnesses in his life he is going to be lucky.

I was just reading, and wasn't going to comment, but felt that I had to. The OP's son is a child - he's 8. He'll remember that for quite sometime. Most children would probably be quite upset had they witnessed that, I know I would've been at that age.

While the OP doesn't know your child, you don't know hers. All she did was share her personal experience.

 

[1971DBday]

I was just reading, and wasn't going to comment, but felt that I had to. The OP's son is a child - he's 8. He'll remember that for quite sometime. Most children would probably be quite upset had they witnessed that, I know I would've been at that age.

While the OP doesn't know your child, you don't know hers. All she did was share her personal experience.

AMEN!!!!!

 

[RalphinSC]

As a fathe rof a young son; I'm sure if it would of happened to me, there would of at least been a couple of stern words. But certainly not any violent correction like that. I do advocate corporal punishment, but it should always be done calmly and consistently; not fueled by anger and certainly not in a highly public place in such a way to demean and belittle the kid. Even with the nature of the problem, the response was certainly off-the-handle and impulsive in itself. It sounds more like the child was being terrorized more than corrected; even if it was repetitive behavior and deserved stern correction.

Now as far as the kid's reaction; my little guy surprises me sometimes still with the things that sticks to his memory versus things that do not. I don't think it's a sign of the kid being coddled or soft for the kid to comment like that. Just that they know enough through their own upbringing to recognize that even adults do not act appropriately sometime.

I've been there before where I wanted to drag mine by the ear and give him the what-for but I've always made sure that the correction, when done, isn't out of anger or frustration itself. Otherwise, as someone said earlier; the onyl thing you are doing is teaching the kid to take out his frustration and anger by hitting. Hopefully it was just a very bad day at a very bad time because we are not perfect by a long shot.

 

[pittypat]

You actually didn't. I would think that would have been an important part of your post if it was. But I'm guessing that would have taken away from some of the drama.

Ummm...yes she did.

 

[MikeandReneePlus5]

As a fathe rof a young son; I'm sure if it would of happened to me, there would of at least been a couple of stern words. But certainly not any violent correction like that. I do advocate corporal punishment, but it should always be done calmly and consistently; not fueled by anger and certainly not in a highly public place in such a way to demean and belittle the kid. Even with the nature of the problem, the response was certainly off-the-handle and impulsive in itself. It sounds more like the child was being terrorized more than corrected; even if it was repetitive behavior and deserved stern correction.

.

It's funny how different people can view things -

The (very) few times I have swatted my kids have been because I had reached the end of my rope on an issue that had been explained ad naseum, and the smack recipient knew and realized they absolutely had gone too far, ignored the correction too many times, and that they had it coming. It's in the moment. We have 5 kids and 16 years of parenting and I think it happened maybe 5 times total between both parents.

Now, the thought of calmly explaining to a child why I am about to smack them, and then administering said smacking in a calm manner later, well after the fact, well, that just gives me the willies. Even moreso if it is done with a spoon or other item.

 

[MissKristinaLianne]

Wow! Poor kid... you have to wonder: if that's how the father treats the child in public; what goes on behind closed doors?

...this is "not a big deal"?

I remember during the summer when I was going into the 2nd grade (summer of 1991). A family moved in next door and they had a little girl who was my age. My mom and the little girl's mother immediately introduced us since we would be attending the same school the next year. I remember even as a child that her father was very strange and wasn't around much. I remember playing at her house towards the end of the summer (school hadn't started yet). We were playing in her room and her father was yelling for her to come downstairs. I remember her reluctantly going downstairs while I kept playing. I still remember hearing her father yelling and screaming at her (don't remember what it was about) and hearing her screaming. I remember quietly tip toeing out of her room out to the hallway to see what was wrong. I remember I was terrified when I saw her father hitting her. I can't tell you how long it went on or how long I stood there... I do recall running back to her room when she ran up the stairs. For some reason we sat in her closet in the dark beside eachother not even speaking. I recall leaving to go home for dinner and debating whether I should tell my Mom or not but I never ended up telling her because I thought my Mom would not let me be friends with her anymore since she was bad.


The little girl and her family lived there for the most part of the time I was in 2nd grade. I know they only lived there for about a year and moved out the next summer. I think her parents ended up getting divorced because I don't remember ever seeing her father there. My parents never had a clue until years later when I one day mentioned this to my Mom. My Mom was shocked!

19 years later... as I re-type this story I still feel terrible for that little girl. I wonder what happened to her. So no... your little 8 year old is not being dramatic. When you're a kid things like this really leave a mark...

 

[RalphinSC]

It's funny how different people can view things -

The (very) few times I have swatted my kids have been because I had reached the end of my rope on an issue that had been explained ad naseum, and the smack recipient knew and realized they absolutely had gone too far, ignored the correction too many times, and that they had it coming. It's in the moment. We have 5 kids and 16 years of parenting and I think it happened maybe 5 times total between both parents.

Now, the thought of calmly explaining to a child why I am about to smack them, and then administering said smacking in a calm manner later, well after the fact, well, that just gives me the willies. Even moreso if it is done with a spoon or other item.

Not after the fact if at all possible. Immediately and as quickly as practical, but I won't do it if I'm seeing red or in a rage. MY son will understand that if I spank him or correct him, it is not because I am angry or enraged; it is because he is not behaving properly. Almost everytime it is done quickly. But if the behavior is somewhere very public or is at a time that I cannot react rationally or without anger; then I will tell him then that it is owed and when he will get his correction. That works better than the actual correction most times because you have the immediate cessation of the behavior without the (overly) upset child.

But one thing my son will understand is that if he does get spanked it will not be because daddy is mad or angry with him, it will be because he mis-behaved and the punishment is befitting the crime. There is no need to get overly dramatic or emotional about correcting a child. The only emotion I try to let my son see strongly and without control is the love I have for him and my wife.

 

[okeydokey]

My kids at 8 would have been upset about that too, I think any person with feelings would have been upset about seeing that kind of child abuse.

 

[baler31]

is your son always that dramatic? That's just a bit much for me.

If that is the worse thing he ever witnesses in his life he is going to be lucky.

Some people rebound quickly from even the most tragic and shocking experiences. Others are devastated by experiences that, on the surface, appear to be less upsetting.

Traumatic experiences in childhood can have a severe and long-lasting effect. Children who have been traumatized see the world as a frightening and dangerous place. When childhood trauma is not resolved, this fundamental sense of fear and helplessness carries over into adulthood, setting the stage for further trauma.

OP seems to have let her son talk about his feelings and acknowledged the situtation, hopefully this will reassure him.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

is your son always that dramatic? That's just a bit much for me.

If that is the worse thing he ever witnesses in his life he is going to be lucky.

To the OP, don't worry about comments like this. There is a link between very high levels of empathy in children and high intelligence/ Sorry your kiddo had to see that.

 

[jhaig]

Let's hope Disney doesn't merchandise athletic supporters for overly cautious Dads in the future. Although, think of the design and marketing possibilities... any way to make a buck at the parks, right?

 

[think-like-tink]

Hm. I think it's a bit intimidating for a child to see an adult that they don't know, pop, yank, yell, etc. another child. It would have bothered my 8 year old son. Why? We don't do that in our home, so he doesn't really know how other people discipline or not discipline their kids. I feel sorry for the OP's son. It shows love and compassion. Good job OP. Maybe it was just a comment "I will not be able to walk across the bridge". Maybe he meant it....maybe not. I think it was a show of compassion actually. That it bothered him in the moment.

 

[RalphinSC]

Let's hope Disney doesn't merchandise athletic supporters for overly cautious Dads in the future. Although, think of the design and marketing possibilities... any way to make a buck at the parks, right?

Certainly wouldn't want to look for the hidden Mickey Ears on that particular item.............

 

[think-like-tink]

Certainly wouldn't want to look for the hidden Mickey Ears on that particular item.............

Certainly no slugs the erm...uh..."arm" when we find one.

 

[MikeandReneePlus5]

Not after the fact if at all possible. Immediately and as quickly as practical, but I won't do it if I'm seeing red or in a rage. MY son will understand that if I spank him or correct him, it is not because I am angry or enraged; it is because he is not behaving properly. Almost everytime it is done quickly. But if the behavior is somewhere very public or is at a time that I cannot react rationally or without anger; then I will tell him then that it is owed and when he will get his correction. That works better than the actual correction most times because you have the immediate cessation of the behavior without the (overly) upset child.

But one thing my son will understand is that if he does get spanked it will not be because daddy is mad or angry with him, it will be because he mis-behaved and the punishment is befitting the crime. There is no need to get overly dramatic or emotional about correcting a child. The only emotion I try to let my son see strongly and without control is the love I have for him and my wife.

yes...I agree with you.

 

[ilovejsparrow]

is your son always that dramatic? That's just a bit much for me.

If that is the worse thing he ever witnesses in his life he is going to be lucky.

How is asking if they saw what happened dramatic? If I saw a father KICK his son, I'd be sad about it too.

OP- sorry to hear that story. It makes you wonder what goes on when that family ISN'T in public

 

[Mama Who]

Hmmm...all the kid said was he'll never be able to pass that spot again without thinking of that man who picked his kid up off the ground by one arm and kicked him in the butt. I think that's a reasonable statement. I'll never be able to get on the FP line at TSM again without thinking about the guy who nearly punched me in the face for questioning whether he knew someone in line when he pushed past all of us...not dramatic, I'm not eternally wounded by the experience, by I can't help but b reminded of it when I'm there....
My daughter is 8 - she might not say that exactly, but she's been known to blow things out of proportion. She got the Green Lantern cardboard glasses and cuff in her Subway kids meal and made sure I knew it was the best lunch she ever had!

Yep.

There's a hotel I cannot drive by without remembering that my first husband carried on one of his affairs there. There's a bench I can't walk past without remembering that that's the bus stop where I sat when I'd just found out I was pregnant with my firstborn. There's a park where I always remember seeing a total stranger propose to his girlfriend.

Sights trigger memories.

 

[Tink-aholic]

The fact that anyone on this board thinks that kicking a little boy in the butt, pulling him up by one arm and yelling at him in public is acceptable is what I find shocking. Additionally, telling the OP that her son is dramatic for being really upset by witnessing this abuse is beyond rude. It is not okay to kick a kid, to pull a kid in that manner or yell at him like that. Yes, we all have weak moments and we all make mistakes but let's not act like that's normal. It's a dark moment and a disturbing moment and if it was done in public then I can promise you there is much worse going on at home. If more people worked on raising kids with self confidence and not demoralizing them for making mistakes you would be able to literally feel the difference in this world.

As sad as it is, but especially today, it seems that parents can get away with doing terrible things to their kids.

If I had been there, I probably would have turned to my DS (who is 16) and made it such a LOUD, almost at the TOP-OF-MY-LUNGS teaching moment right in front of the kicking father and everyone else. I have a big mouth.

 

[minandmick]

I'm sorry that happened to the little boy. I can only imagine the terror he lives with at home.

Last August, we were waiting for the parade by Splash Mtn. This little girl with the most beautiful blond curls, probably about 7 yrs old, ran up beside me. She was grabbing the rope and was SO excited about watching the parade. (The characters were almost to us.) I was just getting a kick out of watching her, she was adorable.

Very suddenly her father come up behind her and grabs a huge fist of her hair and YANKS her head all the way back and gets less than an inch from her face and starts SCREAMING at her. I mean RED FACED, SPIT FLYING SCREAMING in this child's face. "You stay by my F****** SIDE AT ALL TIMES!" I was so shocked I gasped and he suddenly realized where he was. He looked up at me and kinda winced and then dragged the girl off by her HAIR!

Now, I realize the girl shouldn't have ran off. And it very easily could have warranted a controlledspanking if she had been doing it all day. But this was abuse. My niece, 10 yrs old, saw the whole thing and kept talking about it all day. She does NOT live a sheltered life with her home situation and was very disturbed by this father.

It's not over-dramatic for a child to be upset witnessing abuse. This was definitely abuse. So is kicking or punching your child, for whatever reason.