Will my child with autism be embarrassed to use a DAS?

[MomtothreeEs]

Does anyone have words of wisdom about this? Personal experience? My 5 year old son has autism, and most days he is pretty high functioning. He does not know of his diagnosis, but he knows he's different, he knows he goes to lots of special activities (therapies), and he knows his preschool is different than his siblings' preschool (he's in a special needs preschool). But, with all that, he just wants to fit in and be like everyone else. I'm so nervous about getting a DAS for him because I'm worried he'll be embarrassed by it. We try so hard to make his daily life as typical as possible. I have done a ton of research about WDW, and I've tried really hard to make an itinerary that my whole family can enjoy. Our FastPasses are scheduled for the most important and/or most stressful activities (like MSEP crowds). I've really limited how much time we spend at a park at one time, and I'm planning to get to each park early. I know DS5 would benefit from the services provided by the DAS, but I don't know if he will be self-conscious about it. Ugh. It's tearing me apart to not know how he will react to it. The last thing I want to do is ruin his trip to Disney World by pointing out his differences and making him feel bad. I just keep thinking that we should just skip doing rides if the lines are too long. But then what if he's sad that he doesn't get to do the rides?

Has anyone else been through this? I've tried searching blogs and forums for information on this topic, but I really haven't found any help. I just need to talk through this with some people who might understand. My head is spinning.

 

[lanejudy]

Well, it's hard to say and you know him best.

If you think it would help, I would try to explain to him how the DAS is a tool -- like some people wear eye glasses, some people wear hearing aids, some people use crutches, etc. If you think he would understand and accept that kind of explanation.

Good planning, including use of a touring plan to know which park will be least crowded, which section of the park is least crowded at certain times of day, scheduling FP+ and planning downtime will really go a long way towards making your visit enjoyable with limited lines. But if you feel your child would benefit from a DAS, I would request it. You may or may not use it, but you would have it if necessary.

Since you have other children, I have heard of the Guest Relations CMs "pretending" to take pictures of each child, and then issuing the DAS for the child who needs it -- giving it to a parent who controls it. But CMs at each attraction will need to confirm "Johnny" is riding so will ask for him by name.


Enjoy your vacation!

 

[jenineh]

Does anyone have words of wisdom about this? Personal experience? My 5 year old son has autism, and most days he is pretty high functioning. He does not know of his diagnosis, but he knows he's different, he knows he goes to lots of special activities (therapies), and he knows his preschool is different than his siblings' preschool (he's in a special needs preschool). But, with all that, he just wants to fit in and be like everyone else. I'm so nervous about getting a DAS for him because I'm worried he'll be embarrassed by it. We try so hard to make his daily life as typical as possible. I have done a ton of research about WDW, and I've tried really hard to make an itinerary that my whole family can enjoy. Our FastPasses are scheduled for the most important and/or most stressful activities (like MSEP crowds). I've really limited how much time we spend at a park at one time, and I'm planning to get to each park early. I know DS5 would benefit from the services provided by the DAS, but I don't know if he will be self-conscious about it. Ugh. It's tearing me apart to not know how he will react to it. The last thing I want to do is ruin his trip to Disney World by pointing out his differences and making him feel bad. I just keep thinking that we should just skip doing rides if the lines are too long. But then what if he's sad that he doesn't get to do the rides? Has anyone else been through this? I've tried searching blogs and forums for information on this topic, but I really haven't found any help. I just need to talk through this with some people who might understand. My head is spinning.

When I took my son who has Asperger's to disney he was 8. We had no idea that they even accommodated children like mine. Even if we did know we would not have asked for any. We did everything we could to prepare him as to what to expect from the trip and he did great. We had zero issues. You can always get the card and only use it if you really need it. But don't underestimate your child. He may not need it at all.

 

[Aladora]

Does anyone have words of wisdom about this? Personal experience? My 5 year old son has autism, and most days he is pretty high functioning. He does not know of his diagnosis, but he knows he's different, he knows he goes to lots of special activities (therapies), and he knows his preschool is different than his siblings' preschool (he's in a special needs preschool). But, with all that, he just wants to fit in and be like everyone else. I'm so nervous about getting a DAS for him because I'm worried he'll be embarrassed by it. We try so hard to make his daily life as typical as possible. I have done a ton of research about WDW, and I've tried really hard to make an itinerary that my whole family can enjoy. Our FastPasses are scheduled for the most important and/or most stressful activities (like MSEP crowds). I've really limited how much time we spend at a park at one time, and I'm planning to get to each park early. I know DS5 would benefit from the services provided by the DAS, but I don't know if he will be self-conscious about it. Ugh. It's tearing me apart to not know how he will react to it. The last thing I want to do is ruin his trip to Disney World by pointing out his differences and making him feel bad. I just keep thinking that we should just skip doing rides if the lines are too long. But then what if he's sad that he doesn't get to do the rides? Has anyone else been through this? I've tried searching blogs and forums for information on this topic, but I really haven't found any help. I just need to talk through this with some people who might understand. My head is spinning.

Our 8 year old is autistic and in March we got and used a DAS card at Disneyland. He has been to DL 4 times before this and we used the old GAC back then so he is used to going to city hall to get a card.

Like your son, mine does not know about his diagnosis but he knows that he goes to his therapy group to help him with some of his quirks.

All of this is to say that I've got experience with the situation you are in.

We talked to him in advance of the trip, mostly to let him get used to the fact that the way we used to tour the park with the GAC is not how we were going to do it with the DAS.

We ended up calling his DAS his "special fast pass" because a fast pass was a concept he was already used to. This helped us in a few ways, it made it easier for him to understand how the DAS worked. It also meant that when we went to get the return time, he already knew that we would have to wait for our time to ride. Lastly, it meant that when we talked about when our "fast pass" time was, no one needed to know that our son needed a DAS. That last reason helped him to not feel different in a bad way but it made him feel special in a good way because he had his "special" fast pass.

I'm not sure how much that helped but if you have any questions that I might be able to answer, please feel free to ask!

 

[bookwormde]

My DS Aspergers was not embarrassed, but was unwilling to have the GAC accommodations get him into the attraction faster than others, so we asked the CMs what the wait time was an just waited till then to enter (very much like DAS is now) so be prepared for any reaction from your child.

If his tolerance for the lines is variable like my son, I would suggest this.

Get you DAS time and then enter the line as usual. If it becomes to much then leave the line and use the DAS, otherwise, just go though as normal.

It removes all the anxiety of "if I leave the line I will not be able to ride" which can greatly increase the ability to tolerate the lines. since it limits the challenges to the moment not the what will happen if issues that can be really hard for our kids.

 

[Karen1999]

We had a DAS for our 8 yr old high functioning boys on our trip in March. They know their diagnosis but we chose not to tell them about how the DAS worked, as we try to teach them to handle as much of mainstream life as possible. When we needed to use the DAS, I would go ahead to the ride and get a return time, and we simply referred to the DAS as their fast pass. Worked beautifully.

 

[2tinkerbell]

I think children pick up on our reactions more than we realize. I would just use the DAS as another Fast Pass, which it is. Make it no big deal and it won't be a big deal.

 

[HopperFan]

Only you know your child and how they will react with having the card and utilizing it, I just wanted to share our experience. My DS is a adult without the cognitive ability to understand the DAS. He is very clearly handicapped so there is never a need (not even with GAC) for the CMs to inquire as to it's owner.

We have now used the DAS on multiple trips and more often than not when we return to a ride our experience has been: We had them the card with the filled out portion side showing (it folds) for them to check our entry, they then open the card to look at the photograph on the card, they then look up at our party to see who the photo matches up to and many times they will address my DS by name. He is mostly non-verbal so he doesn't normally respond but he does move forward to the scanner because "his name was called." Again he doesn't realize what we have and thinks nothing of his name being called - he thinks of Disney as his second home so no surprise people know his name.

There will be all kinds of experiences even with the same person on the same trip, just sharing so you have some preparation that when returning to rides the CM may acknowledge or address your DS in verifying the pass. Nothing negative, just making sure the pass holder is with the group and riding.

 

[MomtothreeEs]

If his tolerance for the lines is variable like my son, I would suggest this.

Get you DAS time and then enter the line as usual. If it becomes to much then leave the line and use the DAS, otherwise, just go though as normal.

It removes all the anxiety of "if I leave the line I will not be able to ride" which can greatly increase the ability to tolerate the lines. since it limits the challenges to the moment not the what will happen if issues that can be really hard for our kids.

I didn't realize this was an option. That would be great. I have been worried about needing to leave a line midway through if he gets too anxious.

A "special pass" is also a great idea. My DH is brilliant with turning DS's accommodations into a special treat. I'll see what DH can come up with. None of my kids have been to WDW, and they certainly have no idea what FP+ is.

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. It's so hard sometimes. I try to prep as much as possible, but there's only so much I can do. And of course, there are good days and bad days. We're having a rough week right now so it's making me more anxious that I had been.

 

[aaarcher86]

If you guys have never been before he probably won't really know that he's doing something completely out of the norm anyway.

If he just understands there are different ways of getting to the ride - line, DAS, FP+ - and that everyone schedules stuff on their own he probably won't think twice about anything.

 

[shoppingbou]

My son is almost 5 and has autism. We talk openly about him being a “different” kid and about him being autistic.

When we’ll go to Disney, I just plan on using the DAS for long line-ups and such, combined with Fasspass but not all the time either. My strategy is just to go with the flow, requesting a DAS when needed but never really mentioning it to him why we are getting the DAS, or maybe just say that it is because it will be easier or something.

 

[zela02]

My daughter is 11 and lands right in the middle of the autism spectrum scale. We just told her that we needed to stop by City Hall to get a pass that would help her wait between rides. We speak freely about autism at our house, so it really wasn't a big deal at all.

 

[CurlysGirly]

Can I tell you that the new process for getting the card made me completely nervous?? DS is 11 and has Asperger's, dx'd at 2. He doesn't officially know that he has AS and we are currently working with his psychologist on the "reveal". We normally visit off-peak so it's hit or miss if we had to use it. This last trip was the week after Easter with another family (DS's best friend was with us and also has AS). I talked it over with his psychologist and she came up with the idea that my son and his friend were the ambassadors for our group and we needed to take their pictures for our FP....best friend's little brother also has AS but we all rode together so we didn't get him his own.

That worked! It was much harder for our family with the new system because DS was so used to the old way and the parks were crowded! Our card return times were like an hour out. I'm sure the folks that were stuck next to us in lines for other rides while we waited out our return times would have preferred us using the old system...lol!

 

[Aladora]

It was much harder for our family with the new system because DS was so used to the old way and the parks were crowded!

This is the exact reason why I started talking to DS about the changes more than 3 months before our trip!

As so many of us know, one of the things with ASD kids is that routine is so very important. For DS, the way we do things is the way we have always done them and changing things stresses him out so he needs time to process the change. Gah, I used to have to drive the EXACT same route to and from school for ages. Woe befell me if there was a road closure!

So, since I knew he would need time to process the change, I talked to him a number of times, always in a positive way. It took him a while and a bunch of conversations but he finally got the idea of the new process and our trip was pretty smooth.

 

[CurlysGirly]

I know exactly what you mean and I should have done a better job explaining the new system to him. It's partly my fault, I guess, because we planned this trip very last minute. Our friends asked us if we were interested in doing family trip with them that was part Disney cruise/part parks. I worked so hard prepping for the "new" cruise part (which he did AMAZING on!) that I failed to reinforce the park changes to him. I didn't "think" he needed that as much as the cruise prep because he's done the parks before and our experience has always been great. After 9 years of thinking everything every which way to be prepared, I still make mistakes.

 

[Aladora]

I know exactly what you mean and I should have done a better job explaining the new system to him. It's partly my fault, I guess, because we planned this trip very last minute. Our friends asked us if we were interested in doing family trip with them that was part Disney cruise/part parks. I worked so hard prepping for the "new" cruise part (which he did AMAZING on!) that I failed to reinforce the park changes to him. I didn't "think" he needed that as much as the cruise prep because he's done the parks before and our experience has always been great. After 9 years of thinking everything every which way to be prepared, I still make mistakes.

Oh no! I didn't mean to say you were at fault...it was more just to illustrate why I kept talking to my son about it, over and over and over.

Sorry if you thought otherwise, it was not meant that way!

 

[CurlysGirly]

Oh no!! Not at all! We are all guilty (did I really just use that word?? LOL) of blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up for this kind of stuff I've learned that no matter how I think it all through, it will be the one thing that I pay less attention to that will be our issue. Thankfully, we were in great company with another special family so our "flips" were no big whoop as their's were no big whoop to us either. And maybe since I've been walking this path for so long, I was over-confident.

I did manage to see a woman with a boat load of Olaf plushies in Norway and bought one off of her for DS. It was the ONLY souvenir that he wanted on the trip and they were obviously no where to be found. I set that expectation fine with him but he was over the moon when I surprised him with an Olaf!

 

[clanmcculloch]

I would urge you to NOT get in a line that you aren't sure he can handle. Getting in then leaving after waiting a while because he's not coping will draw even more attention to him and more than likely have him upset enough that you'll have to leave the park for the day. Build your plans around doing what he CAN handle and work on coping strategies and expectations (not just behavioral but all the different sensory things he should expect as well as Social Stories explaining what he'll encounter). I'm a firm believer in setting a child up for success while pushing their limits in small amounts that enable success. If I'm not confident that my DD can handle something, we tread cautiously. As she's gotten older I've let her take over more and more of the decisions about what she can and can't handle (as I gently urge her to continue to push her boundaries) but when she was young she had no concept of what she could and couldn't handle so I had to make that decision for her and I always tried to make sure we did what she could handle unless we were prepared to leave whatever we were doing immediately if she couldn't.

Something to think about...... Fitting in doesn't have to mean being the same. Part of fitting in means embracing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin so that others can accept you as you are. We've never kept anything about her diagnosis from DD16. We embrace it as part of who she is just like her blue eyes and her amazing attention to detail. Does everybody accept her as she is? Of course not. But, nobody is accepted by EVERYBODY as they are. I feel that if she's confident in who she is and embraces her strengths and works on her weaknesses (just like a neuro-typical kid would though she's got extra struggles but also some major strengths) then the friends she does have will accept her as-is. She actually has a great group of friends; quite a few friends in fact. She wouldn't be able to be confident in who she is if she didn't understand the different aspects of who she is. She also wouldn't be able to fully understand and embrace her strengths if she didn't understand her AS because her AS is part of the source of some of her strengths.

 

[seashoreCM]

For school, your child goes to special classes because the school system feels it would take the best combination of minimum time and effort and money to do it that way. One cost is that your child is doing things differently from other children.

You said that your son wants to fit in and do things the same way as other kids. To the extent he can and will do this, you do not need to get out the DAS pass. Out of school and on vacation, you can spend more time etc. to plan things your way.

The problem many parents face is that sometimes their child forgets he wants to fit in and be like other kids (read: has a meltdown). So you should at least get the DAS to keep in your pocket in case needed. You may tell him that he is not behaving like other kids but you should not get upset if he promises at the beginning of the day to behave himself and he breaks that promise a little later.

 

[SirDuff]

The problem many parents face is that sometimes their child forgets he wants to fit in and be like other kids (read: has a meltdown). So you should at least get the DAS to keep in your pocket in case needed. You may tell him that he is not behaving like other kids but you should not get upset if he promises at the beginning of the day to behave himself and he breaks that promise a little later.

Sorry, but that is very offensive. These children are not "breaking a promise" - that would suggest that they can consciously stop themselves from behaving certain ways. They can't.

They aren't "forgetting" that they want to fit in - they are doing their best in the situation.

Your suggestion "you may tell him that he is not behaving like other kids" suggests using the DAS as a punishment - the exact opposite of what the OP needs.