Why would a woman want to have an affair with a married man?

[Randi]

For the life of me, I just can't see a reason. Does she think that if the guy cheats on his wife, he won't cheat on her? Is her ego so huge, that she thinks she is so perfect that he will stay with her forever?

Everybody seems to focus on the man in these cases, but there has to be some issue with a woman who would do that to another woman. Obviously in the case of celebraties, it is well known who is married & who is not. But even in the case of an ordinary guy who feeds some line to a woman he meets, she should still back off if the truth is found out.

 

[java]

Well if you are talking Tiger I am sure it has to do with $$$.

When I was in college I had a professor that I really liked. He was cute, funny and very attentive. He didn't wear a wedding ring. I accidentally found out he was married right around the time he asked me out. Now that was probably the most foolish time of my life and even then I knew that wasn't right. I never went out with him.
Later I found out his wife was pregnant at the time. Now that really bugged me.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

I don't know why. That is just insane to me. Why anyone would want someone who does that is beyond me. I agree with you, if he cheats on his wife, he will cheat with her too. It might just be for a good time with no strings attached. Who knows.
In all fairness, she doesn't owe the wife anything, the husband does. Although I feel that she is morally wrong, she shouldn't be painted as the bad person here. He needs to take the responsibility. He is the one straying from his family.

 

[eliza61]

I have no idea. I remember when I was in college, a girl on my dorm floor had what we use to call a "sugar daddy" and she was pretty open about it. She would get her tuition/room and board paid for and he would get a pretty girl.

Who knows, every once in a while Oprah tries to hash it all out.

Considering polls say about 40% of married couples have had affairs (I think it was around that percentage) it's got to be for more than just money.

 

[Christine]

Many women who get involved with a MM don't do so with the intentions of "catching" him and ending up being THE woman in his life. They do it for the same reasons men do it--recreation. Sometimes they fall in love and then it gets nasty, and sometimes they don't. I think in many cases, the wife in the scenario, is never really thought about unless the relationship becomes serious so I don't think that the other woman is necessarily or consciously doing anything "to" the wife.

 

[happygirl]

If you are talking about Tiger I can think of a million reason.

I think a lot of woman find it exciting, I also think a lot of women think the man will leave there wives for them.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Maybe she's young, inexperienced, immature, not used to a man's attention, doesn't want committment... And then there are the times she doesn't know he's married until she's in love or she became involved while they were separated and then they got back together.

 

[RadioNate]

I don't know but I think these women have some serious issues to knowingly enter a relationship with a married man. Talk about rock bottom self esteem.

I know they have no obligation to the woman or the family but they should be ashamed of themselves. It wouldn't be so easy for these men to destroy their families if these pathetic women weren't willing.

 

[Scurvy]

Because she's sleazy, and shallow, and selfish, and has no morals. And basically is just a horrible person. In the case of someone like the women who had affairs with Tiger Woods add "greedy" to the list.

 

[mtemm]

the woman my dh had an affair with pretty much had an affair for every relationship she ever had, except for one boyfriend in high school. she was married, cheated on her husband, got divorced, and had 4 affairs with married men.

I honestly think its a deep seeded insecurity. I believe she feels like she needs some kind of external validation, and "stealing" another woman's husband makes her feel more valued.

the funny thing is she doesn't understand why her "relationships" never work out.

 

[Kimickey]

Most married woman have an affair with a married man because there are no strings attached. She has the best of both worlds. A man who's willing to give her just about anything in the world...and does; and because she doesn't have to deal with the daily drama of being married. She also know's who and where he is going home to every night. Why does a woman have an affair with a married man...because she can!

 

[crz4mm2]

Believe it or not, SOME women actually do not know the man is married when they start seeing him.

 

[happygirl]

Believe it or not, SOME women actually do not know the man is married when they start seeing him.

I'm not saying this doesn't happen. I just don't understand how a woman wouldn't know

Wouldn't it be kind of weird never go to the guy house or spend long amounts of time together. Or to never meet there families

 

[a1tinkfans]

marrieds having affairs:
whats that saying.....the grass always looks greener.....

I mean no talking "budget" or illness or work issues or family issues or kid issues A/K/A daily grind...instead,
just SELFISH time..................
all I know is first hand experience with a sibling that suffered thru it and it destroyed her family....fortunately she met a WONDERFUL man who stepped in, stepped up and became a father to an 18mos old baby girl, that had/has no relationship with her biological parent (she is 24 now) ....
(oh...just wanted to add....the woman involved was married, had four kids, she LEFT them with her husband (a fellow cop, YES, his partners wife) and she and the old BIL started their own "new" family...strange indeed......they deserve each other IMHO

 

[castleview]

Some women are just not nice people and get off taking things away from other people...including husbands and fathers. And others are dumb enough to believe they'll be the "last one". Either way, going out with a married man is an assault on a family.

I have to hand it to Tiger's wife. I think she showed much more restraint than I would have if my DH cheated.

 

[DISNEY1975]

Believe it or not, SOME women actually do not know the man is married when they start seeing him.

I agree with that.

When I was a billion years younger, I was approached by a guy in a club. <long story, long story> I went on a couple of dates with him and one holiday (Columbus Day, Ill never forget it!) he called me and asked if I could meet him for lunch. I told him I couldnt because I had a freidn over, but he was welcome to come over. He came, we all had lunch, then he left. I was going to a movie with my friend and hopped in the shower to get ready to go. My phone rang and my friend answered it. The person on the other end said "Is Adam there" My friend said.."No he just left" well the person freaked out!

She said "Who is this? Dont you know I am Adam's fiance? Why was he at your house?" etc.. The fiance had to work that day and when she got home, Adam wasnt there, so she hit redial on the phone (cell phones did not exist at the time!) and it rang to my house.

My friend got me out of the shower and I listed to this girl cry, scream, the works. She kept the phone at her mothers because I wouldnt give her my number and she called me DAILY to see if Adam attempted to call me.

Literally 24 years later......she's been my best friend for about 23 1/2 years!

We are both married with kids and nobody has seen loser Adam in years and years!

My pint is..I had no idea the fiance existed. I can easily see how a girl wouldnt know about a wife.

 

[C.Ann]

Most married woman have an affair with a married man because there are no strings attached. She has the best of both worlds. A man who's willing to give her just about anything in the world...and does. And because she doesn't have to deal with the drama. She also know's who and where he is going home to every night. Why does a woman do have an affair with a married man...because she can!

I've heard or read this somewhere before.. They get showered with attention; showered with lavish gifts; showered with get-a-way trips; often have their bills paid for them; and get treated a million times better than the wife - without having to "be" the wife and deal with the daily drudgery that comes along with it.. When the affair ends, it ends - no strings attached, no messy divorce, no kids - and they just move on to the next married man..

 

[Scurvy]

Believe it or not, SOME women actually do not know the man is married when they start seeing him.

I believe this, and I think that they are victims just as much as the wives are. The men are the only bad guys in that situation. However, at some point the women find out that the men are married, and if they choose to continue to remain involved with the guys after that then I stand by my earlier post.

 

[jsmith]

Sometimes its not any of those things-some times married people-men or women have affairs because there is something fundamental missing in their marriage -but they are unwilling to leave the security of that relationship-whether it is financial or emotional security or fear of loosing their children.
Sometimes they do it to escape physical or emotional abuse or to feel like they are important to someone.
Sometimes they are doing it for revenge on a cheating spouse and dont care who else they hurt.
Sometimes they do it out of loneliness.
Somtimes its a "safe" relationship-not necissarily a recreational one but one that they dont have to permenantly commit too.
Some women -and men are just amoral-they dont see anything wrong with that behavior.
Bottom line the reasons that people get into relationships are as many and as varied as people.
In the case of the woman or women that Tiger was with $$$$$$$$$$$$$ was probably a big movivator.

 

[Kimickey]

I've heard or read this somewhere before.. They get showered with attention; showered with lavish gifts; showered with get-a-way trips; often have their bills paid for them; and get treated a million times better than the wife - without having to "be" the wife and deal with the daily drudgery that comes along with it.. When the affair ends, it ends - no strings attached, no messy divorce, no kids - and they just move on to the next married man..

C.Ann,
My point exactly I believe its the same reason why men cheat!