Why don't you make kids eat?

[NikitaZee]

Don't worry, it takes a lot for me to be offended by strangers. Definitely no ham at my table, luckily DH doesn't eat it either. The problem I have with DS eating something different than the rest of us is that I know it would turn into him NEVER eating what we have. It's not a question of him really hating something we're having, and it being the only option, it's him not giving most anything a chance. Ever. Also, f I started letting him have something different, they're all going to want something different. Even though the other two will eat most things, they'd still prefer to eat cereal or PB every night if it were an option. Now i'm back to the short order cook or just cooking for DH and I and letting the other 3 have whatever they want.
My parents option wasn't one meal or no meal, it was just eat it. I would have preferred to go hungry than eat the meat (really wouldn't be hungry though, i'd eat the sides, something DS generally still won't do. But they forced the meat issue.) Which is why I wont' force it, just won't make anything else.

Fair enough, I can see everyone wanting something different if one kid gets it ... that happens at my house now and then!

 

[disney1990]

To the person that asked, my granddaughters will eat Brussel Sprouts - everyday if we would make them. We roast them in the oven with a little olive oil and salt. My DH used to tell me that he had them when he was younger and that they were slimy. These aren't - they are crunchy and make a great snack. We also take kale and put a little olive oil and salt on it and roast it in the oven. It comes out like kale chips - and they are yummy. I am still even at my age, learning to love new foods that are cooked differently.

 

[2girls4me]

Why is it any of your business what my kids eat?

Do I wish my kids ate more things?

Yes, but I deal for now. What's wrong with being picky?

 

[Poohforyou]

Because I want them to live long, healthy lives free of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Because it's been proven in study after study that eating a varied plant-based diet is the best defense from the kind of lifestyle diseases people suffer from in this country. Because, if they like it when I prepare it in a certain way, then why not get as many different veggies in them as I can? Why on earth would you be pissed that your mom cared about you and wanted to make something for you that would help you?

People can lives long healthy lives free of heart disease, diabetes and cancer without ever eating mushrooms, zucchini and peppers. There are tons of other vegetables that are equally nutrituous.

As for my mother, I can count on 1 hand the foods I will not eat. If someone cannot respect my dislikes enough not to sneak them into things than I have a big problem with that.

 

[teacherforhi]

I have a question, and I'm fully admitting I didn't read through all of the posts but for you Parents that truly have picky eaters that aren't due to any medical reason, and are just going through a picky eating phase, what is your expectation of your child when they are eating somewhere other than home (ie: at a Friend's house, or maybe a co-workers house)? If they don't like what is being served, do you teach them that it is acceptable to ask for a PB&J? Just sit at the table, and not eat? I'm genuinely curious. No judging here at all. I don't have children and I was just wondering how you navigate through this scenario with your child.

I'm not a child any longer, but I'll answer the question. I have no sense of smell, which translates to very little sense of taste. Quite frankly, unless something is seasoned to the extreme, I don't taste much of anything. Most vegetables are just mush in my mouth. I always felt like I could relate to the Oliver Twist and the gruel.

At home, my parents would prepare foods with extra seasoning for me (separate bowl, etc), but I knew better than to ever request something special when I was away from home. To this day, I take a small serving of things I can't taste and deal with it. With my family, my husband taste-tests foods just because I would kill my children with seasoning if it was to my taste.

 

[Colleen27]

There isn't any one food that has to be eaten for a kid to grow up with a lesser degree of chronic illness. Mushrooms aren't magic. Well most aren't, lol. If a child eats the various colored veggies it doesn't matter if the orange is sweet potatoes, or carrots. Or if they like broccoli but not zucchini. Lol, people sure as heck don't need beef or steak. Chicken is fine. And while fish is great for omegas you can get them elsewhere.

As far as hiding food, I'm not into lying to my kids.

I'm the same way. I don't require that my kids like everything. I don't care if they never cultivate an appreciation for Brussels sprouts, or if they only eat their spinach raw. What I want them to develop is a willingness to try new things and to have a healthy diet overall. One can eat a wide variety of plant-based foods without liking each and every thing grown on God's green Earth.

My kids help in the garden and the kitchen so there's no hiding veggies from them most of the time, but I think that's a good thing. Instead of getting into the mindset of "I don't like X food" they've learned that just because they don't like eggplant parmigiana doesn't mean they won't like eggplant in ratatouille, that green bunching onions have an entirely different taste from yellow cooking onions, that although they might not like steamed cauliflower they enjoy eating it raw, etc.

 

[Planogirl]

I have a question, and I'm fully admitting I didn't read through all of the posts but for you Parents that truly have picky eaters that aren't due to any medical reason, and are just going through a picky eating phase, what is your expectation of your child when they are eating somewhere other than home (ie: at a Friend's house, or maybe a co-workers house)? If they don't like what is being served, do you teach them that it is acceptable to ask for a PB&J? Just sit at the table, and not eat? I'm genuinely curious. No judging here at all. I don't have children and I was just wondering how you navigate through this scenario with your child.

DS would eat what was served. He might not eat much but he learned that it was rude to act picky when he was a guest. It was difficult when he was little but I wouldn't tolerate any fussing.

He could always make himself something else when he got home.

 

[dawnball]

I am getting sick of treads on different boards of "my kid will only eat chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, etc". Whatever happened to being a parent? When I was I ate what I was given and if I didn't finish within an hour I was given it for breakfast. If your kids will only eat nuggets it's because that's what you give them. Rant over, make the popcorn (if your kid will eat that).

Not the hill I chose to die on. It doesn't seem to be the end of the world.

Yes, I have a picky eater. I can deal with that. She's gluten intolerant, and I think internalized that as "some foods make me feel bad."

Initially, she didn't eat foods that as she described them "had a taste". And that was most foods. We keep offering, and preparing foods in different ways, and leaving things off, and adding dips/sauces/seasonings. Food network is the channel most viewed in our household.

Now she's just developing expensive tastes.

She likes salmon. Pan-seared wild salmon. Not the Atlantic stuff you can get in most restaurants.

She likes a wide variety of cheeses, but her favorites are about 50% more expensive per pound than that wild salmon. In fact, several of the cheeses I tried at Victoria and Albert's are on her preferred list.

She loves strawberries - but only local, in-season berries - and she has preferred vendors for them at the local market. She adores mango, but Disneyland's packaged mango was a bust, because it wasn't ripe.

Some days - I want to have the kid who would eat burgers/tacos/chicken nuggets/etc because it would make life so much more convenient. Most days I realize that eating wild salmon, in-season fruit and vegetables and small quantities of high-quality chocolate is better for her. We are actively teaching "live off the land" and making the best meal you can out of what's available/offered, but that's a very academic thing for her, and food can be very emotional.


Oh, and I Anne Burrell, who is teaching my kid that if you want to cook, you have to taste.

 

[Granny square]

Really, if someone is sick of threads that talk about food issues...don't read them. Not rocket science.

 

[sweetcreams]

There isn't any one food that has to be eaten for a kid to grow up with a lesser degree of chronic illness. Mushrooms aren't magic. Well most aren't, lol. If a child eats the various colored veggies it doesn't matter if the orange is sweet potatoes, or carrots. Or if they like broccoli but not zucchini. Lol, people sure as heck don't need beef or steak. Chicken is fine. And while fish is great for omegas you can get them elsewhere.

As far as hiding food, I'm not into lying to my kids.

Actually, you might want to do some reading into the strong anti-cancer properties in mushrooms.

As far as lying to your kids...I guess Santa and the Easter Bunny skip your house, huh?

 

[Granny square]

Eh, all whole foods have good stuff in them. A good real food diet will carry one along fine. You can eat mushrooms every day of the week and still get cancer. Life is like that. Using food as magical pills isn't making people healthier. We eat real food without sneaking. My kids are sushi knowing it was raw fish, and black bean brownies knowing what good the fiber were in the black beans.


We didn't do Santa or the Easter bunny. Not as magical creatures anyway. We did them as playful pretend. Same as Disney characters. My kids were smart enough to know that there are no such things as giant mice. Just like there was no such thing as monsters. Ymmv.

 

[scrapquitler]

I have a question, and I'm fully admitting I didn't read through all of the posts but for you Parents that truly have picky eaters that aren't due to any medical reason, and are just going through a picky eating phase, what is your expectation of your child when they are eating somewhere other than home (ie: at a Friend's house, or maybe a co-workers house)? If they don't like what is being served, do you teach them that it is acceptable to ask for a PB&J? Just sit at the table, and not eat? I'm genuinely curious. No judging here at all. I don't have children and I was just wondering how you navigate through this scenario with your child.

My kids are both super picky eaters, and if we are eating over someone's house they either find something that they do like among the offerings, or they wait until we get home (if we are at Grandmas, they know they have the freedom to go make a pb&j). My kids are the ones you see at Thanksgiving dinner eating carrots & dip, olives & pickles and rolls & butter for their meal.

But really, at most of our family gatherings everyone brings different dishes, and there's usually at least something that everyone enjoys on the table. One brother of mine eats low carb, do he chooses what he wants, one SIL eats low fat, so she picks what she likes, a family friend eats no meat, and fills her plate accordingly... It's not a big deal and nobody focuses on what someone else is eating, we ALL choose what we want and leave off the items we don't like. It's not a big production, but then again with my huge family, we aren't eating formal sit down plated meals.

 

[goofy4tink]

I have a question, and I'm fully admitting I didn't read through all of the posts but for you Parents that truly have picky eaters that aren't due to any medical reason, and are just going through a picky eating phase, what is your expectation of your child when they are eating somewhere other than home (ie: at a Friend's house, or maybe a co-workers house)? If they don't like what is being served, do you teach them that it is acceptable to ask for a PB&J? Just sit at the table, and not eat? I'm genuinely curious. No judging here at all. I don't have children and I was just wondering how you navigate through this scenario with your child.

There is no way my dd would even consider asking for something different! She would have to find something on the table that she could live with. She used to sit down to family Thanksgiving dinners and have a roll and some turkey!! Man, she looked dopey!! But, as someone else said....that's just not a hill I choose to die on.
Our issue? She turned out to be lactose intolerant. She went in for testing, to the hospital. It took about 4 hrs...had some drink, then they tested her..did that about 5 times. They let us go saying that they hadn't found any lactose issues. Well....by the time we made the 25 min ride home from the hospital, there was a message waiting for us...from the nurse. Seems that on the last test, dd had blown off the charts!! It looks like it's hugely cumulative. If she's careful and doesn't have yogurt in the morning,grilled cheese for lunch with a glass of milk, some ice cream later on and then chocolate milk she's okay. But if she overdoes it?? Not a pretty picture.

All in all, do I wish she would eat a more varied diet? Sure. I wish she would begin to enjoy more veggies....man, I love my veggies. But, it's her choice. Hopefully she will learn to enjoy other foods than she has now. But as long as she is getting the protein she needs and is eating some veggie each day, I guess it's okay. Not perfect, but okay.

 

[Granny square]

Your poor little girl! How miserable!


When I was a kid we were expected to eat whatever was placed in front of us when out. I remember swallowing 7 bean salad whole. Ick. It still would bother me to smell the stuff! And we eat beans several days a week!

 

[RainbowBrite]

My sister ate just fine until she was about 4 years old. At a year old in her highchair, instead of eating her own baby food she reached over and stole my dad's porkchop right off his plate and started eating. We're almost positive her issues with food started right after she got food poisoning because not only did she develop food issues but ever since (and she is now 20), she's had an extreme fear of throwing up to the point where she has anxiety attacks over it.

She has a very, very limited menu. She is not big on candy at all and has never touched soda a day in her life but her list of foods she eats makes going to Disney with her tough. As a kid she saw a nutritionist one a month who tried everything from telling my mom to let her pick out her own fruits and veggies from the grocery store (which didn't work) to letting her help cook dinner - that didn't work either, she didn't want to even touch any of it. She saw a therapist for years but it didn't help

 

[donaldlovesdaisy]

Eh, all whole foods have good stuff in them. A good real food diet will carry one along fine. You can eat mushrooms every day of the week and still get cancer. Life is like that. Using food as magical pills isn't making people healthier. We eat real food without sneaking. My kids are sushi knowing it was raw fish, and black bean brownies knowing what good the fiber were in the black beans.


We didn't do Santa or the Easter bunny. Not as magical creatures anyway. We did them as playful pretend. Same as Disney characters. My kids were smart enough to know that there are no such things as giant mice. Just like there was no such thing as monsters. Ymmv.

So my 5 year old is dumb because he does believe in a giant mouse, Santa and Darth Vader and the list could go on. As for sneaking or as you put it lying to my kids about foods they have been eating ground turkey for years under the impression that is ground beef and have never been the wiser and I doubt they will need therapy becuase of it.

 

[joviroxx]

Gotta love the title of the thread.....

I have one kid who is a VERY picky eater. You couldn't even bribe him to try things. The other one eats anything and everything. Both kids are growing and thriving exactly as they should. After trying the "you must always try" route that failed horribly, I do NOT make food an issue in my house, nor will I ever. It just isn't worth it.

If the picky eater finds himself in a situation where there is nothing he likes, he doesn't eat, with a smile. He's 15 and still picky. Its his problem now. I don't do food fights. Its just not worth it. He is athletic, strong , healthy and growing.

There are so many other things to worry about and fight over. Ive had my own issues with food over the years and I just will not have my kids obsess over it either.

Good manners, politeness, kindness, hard work, education, responsibility, honesty and respect. That is what I fight for. The fact that he won't touch a vegetable and eats limited starches or anything "different"? Rolls right off my back. Oh, and btw, he doesn't really eat candy either.

So, if anyone wants to ask , WHY? Go ahead and ask, but, frankly, I just ask, why does it matter?

 

[worm761]

I was always labeled a picky eater and I blamed my mother. She allowed us to look at a food and say I don't like that. She would then prepare a whole different meal based on known likes. Yep, my mother made herself a short order cook.

BUT, because I had been told I was a picky eater my whole life, I didn't really try things. Certain things make me gag and/or vomit (like seafood). So the fear of getting sick was very real and one that I had previously experienced. I blissfully went through life eating a very limited diet. And then my DH came along. He has taught me that I am not a picky eater. I just don't like the same foods that my family likes. I now eat a much larger variety of foods than anyone else in my family. But I am still labeled the picky one because I don't eat like them.

DD is 3 and going through a picky phase. She was always just given what we ate and then one day decided to not eat it. Took the eat it or go hungry route with her and she started losing weight. For a kid in the under 5th percentile for weight, this was not good. We feed her what she is willing to eat while still offering the other foods. Some days she eats them and some days she won't. But I refuse to have her drop under 20 lbs again. I do give her a multi vitamin and the doctor does her blood work every year. She is healthy so it is what it is.

For whomever asked for advice about a picky eater,
My DS is 16 and has high functioning autism. He used to eat the typical autism diet. What I did was make a list of all the foods he WOULD eat. Then I found recipes that were very close in flavor profile. He always had a safe food he could eat but he needed to try at least 3 bites of the new food. I slowly kept adding new recipes with a new ingredient or two. It has taken a few years but we went from a normal rotation of about 7-10 different meals to over a hundred that he will willingly eat. And now that he is older, he is responsible for making one meal a week. He must choose the meal, give me an ingredient list, and cook it himself. The meals must be somewhat healthy but he gets to choose them. It helps with his willingness to try new foods. We also watch a lot of The Chew and he likes the foods on there.

 

[aaarcher86]

Maybe your DD is just a small girl. My DD is six and a half and 35lbs. She has always been small and below the 3rd percentile for weight and she eats anything that's given to her. She is my least picky child. Other then meat (we are vegetarian) she will eat or at least try anything, in fact she loves trying new foods. After nursing she practically lived on fruits for 2 years and still to this day eats several pieces of fruit each day. She begs me to make her favourite tofu and "greens" (any sautéed leafy greens). She snacks and eats all her meals and she is still so tiny. My doctor said she's fine and some people are just small. My other DD who is almost 11 and 60lbs is also small but so I am so it just runs in the family I guess.

She is just a small girl, which is fine. But her new medication takes away the tiny appetite she does have. If she doesn't get something she enjoys she just won't eat. She can't not eat for days so we are forced to cater to her eating habits much more than we'd like.

 

[burnurcomputer]

As a parent, its called picking your battles. My 4 kids eat really well and I have friends whose children don't. Its not really my business to critique the eating battle that others face. Kids go through fazes on what they like and dislike. I make the food and the food choices and my kids have to have some, but I'm not going to force it down their gullet to make a point as a parent. Maybe I am a bit more laid back because I have 4 spread out?

My favorite food is liver and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy finished up with tapioca pudding. Its "old people" food, but its my favorite since a small child. We fight over brussel sprouts in my house because we all love them! That's MY food complaint! I really, really hate squash and zucchini. Well, I am gaining an appreciation for some squash but zucchini makes me gag!