Why do parents insist on bringing gifts when the invite says "No Gifts!"

[lillygator]

35 posts today

OP-when exactly do you "Homeschool"????

I wouldn't go there - on many a DIS thread homeshooling has come up and as most of the parents who are doing the homeschool will post that their school hours are all different and not the traditional school hours a free standing school has.

 

[testifyoncruises]

OP-when exactly do you "Homeschool"????

DP handles that part while I take care of our business. Sometimes you need time away from your database and the phone is quiet, that you can spend some time on a message board.

 

[luvsJack]

Again I never said my life was better than anyone else's as in superior.

We have a blessed life and feel no issues because of it. It does not make us superior to anyone else, it is just facts.

The problem is not whether it is fact or not. The problem is that you seem to bring it up; a LOT. Do you really not think you can post that your child has enough stuff and you would rather her not get more gifts for her birthday without stating that you are going to Switzerland to visit your cow? Its all in the way you are choosing to present your information.

You have mentioned twice in this thread that your daughter has unopened (or maybe it was unused) gifts from a made up holiday. Since no one in reality actually celebrates Festivus, wouldn't that mean that you yourself has purchased too many things for the child? But didn't you also say that you would prefer not to show love by material things or something to that effect? (sorry, not really wanting to go back and hunt the post)

It just seems that too many things are said only so that you can get another line in there about how fortunate you are or what you can do or what you have. If that is not your intention, ok; but maybe you should re-read what you post to make sure it doesn't sound like bragging.

 

[testifyoncruises]

ISee, this is hte kind of imposing will I think is wrong. DH and a abhor baseball. It is mind numbingly slow and boring to us. However, since we are not morrally opposed to it we wanted to let our kids make up their own minds about thi national pastime.

Had baseball not gone on strike in 1994, canceled the world series, then fired the people who really wanted to play before the 1995 season, we would still go back.

I was a huge fan. Never again. I turned down a chance to sit in an owner's box because I am so committed and it is just something I won't do. I will let my child go just like I let the girlies and my niece take her to a Christian church before, but I will never take her to a game.

She also has never once not ever and never will by us at least expose her to the circus. We will let her see a Cirque show and maybe fly to Vegas with us to see LOVE, but one with animals like Ringling? Never!

 

[testifyoncruises]

You have mentioned twice in this thread that your daughter has unopened (or maybe it was unused) gifts from a made up holiday. Since no one in reality actually celebrates Festivus, wouldn't that mean that you yourself has purchased too many things for the child?

Our blended family has a lot of inlaws and outlaws and they do shower her with gifts.

There are quite a few people who celebrate and refer to it as Festivus, sorry you have never been exposed to them.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Our blended family has a lot of inlaws and outlaws and they do shower her with gifts.

There are quite a few people who celebrate and refer to it as Festivus, sorry you have never been exposed to them.

I'm another one who has never had a Festivus-celebrant expose himself to me.

My loss, I guess.

 

[lillygator]

Had baseball not gone on strike in 1994, canceled the world series, then fired the people who really wanted to play before the 1995 season, we would still go back.

I was a huge fan. Never again. I turned down a chance to sit in an owner's box because I am so committed and it is just something I won't do. I will let my child go just like I let the girlies and my niece take her to a Christian church before, but I will never take her to a game.

She also has never once not ever and never will by us at least expose her to the circus. We will let her see a Cirque show and maybe fly to Vegas with us to see LOVE, but one with animals like Ringling? Never!

 

[crashbb]

I'm another one who has never had a Festivus-celebrant expose himself to me.

My loss, I guess.

Given that it was made up by a Seinfeld writer and is not a real holiday, I wouldn't feel too badly about it.

 

[luvsJack]

That's kind of my thought on that whole post.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Stop trying to act like you have no idea what everyone is talking about here. It really is ridiculous. Many people have pointed out your many threads that always have some double meaning that is meant to be eye catching. The feigned innocence act is getting old.

All part of the game.

Honestly, I think you're brilliant, ToC. This is great stuff! All I'm wondering about is where you're going with all this and what other names we might know you by.

And we have a winner!!!

My child is slowly being exposed to things that were important in my Yewt.

Your yewt! Priceless!

The two yewts...

Love that movie!

This thread just reminded me of "DixieAmos", except she was sweet. For you Newbies (Newer than 2001), do a DIS search.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Had baseball not gone on strike in 1994, canceled the world series, then fired the people who really wanted to play before the 1995 season, we would still go back.

I was a huge fan. Never again. I turned down a chance to sit in an owner's box because I am so committed and it is just something I won't do. I will let my child go just like I let the girlies and my niece take her to a Christian church before, but I will never take her to a game.

She also has never once not ever and never will by us at least expose her to the circus. We will let her see a Cirque show and maybe fly to Vegas with us to see LOVE, but one with animals like Ringling? Never!

So I am not a sports fan and really have no clue (other than the synopsis you posted) about what happened in baseball 16 years ago. You are saying whatever it was was such a huge deal that even 16 years later you feel morally opposed to going Or are you saying that even if it is something your DD really wants to do you and your DP are not willing to go with her for her sake because you have bad memories from 16 years ago, so unless someone else offers to take her she is out of luck? I really can't tell which it is.

I am also still confused about which holiday you call festivus. You said "that one" in December--so presumably you are not luumping all the December celebrations together under the one name.

Since the in laws and out laws shower your DD with gifts, do you tell them no gifts also--or only the party guests? Since there are so many unused gifts I presume most are not cash. Have you aslo told family you believe in giving "cold hard cash" only? I am really curious how you would handle this within family.

 

[luvsJack]

You got a yes answer because there are several holidays we celebrate in December because we are a blended family and DP and I believe in exposing our child to them all including Saturnalia, Christmas, Hanukkah and the Solstice.

Our blended family has a lot of inlaws and outlaws and they do shower her with gifts.

There are quite a few people who celebrate and refer to it as Festivus, sorry you have never been exposed to them.

Which one is the "it" that you are referring to as Fesitivus?

I mean, seriously, I can understand exposing a child to all of the winter holidays that are celebrated in December. But are you just calling the whole month Fesitivus? One certain holiday? A combination of holidays?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Which one is the "it" that you are referring to as Fesitivus?

I mean, seriously, I can understand exposing a child to all of the winter holidays that are celebrated in December. But are you just calling the whole month Fesitivus? One certain holiday? A combination of holidays?

That is what I am trying to figure out. I absolutely get celebrating lots of holiadys to teach your child about the cultures of the world. The lesson would be lost though if you partied every day without even calling the holidays by their names and instead replaced it with a fictional name for the entire month. That would be just a month long gist grab in a child's mind I would think.

 

[testifyoncruises]

So I am not a sports fan and really have no clue (other than the synopsis you posted) about what happened in baseball 16 years ago. You are saying whatever it was was such a huge deal that even 16 years later you feel morally opposed to going Or are you saying that even if it is something your DD really wants to do you and your DP are not willing to go with her for her sake because you have bad memories from 16 years ago, so unless someone else offers to take her she is out of luck? I really can't tell which it is.

It was SUCH a big deal that I will never go back, nor will I give any money to support baseball. As you posted above it is a national pastime. If say the girlies across the street or another friend wants to take her to a game and pay for it, I will let her go. Now when it comes to the circus that is a deal-breaker, as long as she lives in our house, that is a never no way. We do not go to a building where an organized religion is celebrated, nor we take our daughter. If the girlies or my neice takes her a Christian church that is ok, but we are not taking her there. Our family is blended in that we have different customs and religions in which we were raised. One involves a Christian religion, one involves a Jewish religion and now we follow certain aspects of other beliefs as well.

I am also still confused about which holiday you call festivus. You said "that one" in December--so presumably you are not luumping all the December celebrations together under the one name.

We refer to the celebrations in which we participate as Festivus. We know what they are called and do call them that, but to others we follow others and refer to the whole celebration in general as Festivus. (We do have a pole for because we can)

Since the in laws and out laws shower your DD with gifts, do you tell them no gifts also--or only the party guests?

This is not a party, but we have told them no gifts, please for several years.

Have you aslo told family you believe in giving "cold hard cash" only? I am really curious how you would handle this within family.

I have never once said I believe in giving cold hard cash only. You can stop putting words out there that are not true.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Festivus. (We do have a pole for because we can)

 

[NHdisneylover]

.

I have never once said I believe in giving cold hard cash only. You can stop putting words out there that are not true.

Sorry that was my mistake. I just went back and reread that poast. You said "IF not giving a physical gift" but I had read it as believing "IN not giving a physical gift"

I am still wondering if you have the same level of frustration about family showering your DD with gifts as you do about little girls bringing a gift to a party It seems to me you can sometimes manage to politely and nicely discuss these things with family but it is harder to do with just party invites for friends.

Thanks for clarifying about the baseball. Personally, I cannot imagine saying I will never, ever go to something Isimply do not like no matter if my kdis relaly wants to do it. Moral objections I get, but bad memories not so much. I hope if your DD turns out to love baseball she finds someone to take her to games, and if she wants to paly someday you let her and some of those gift showering relatives go see her games and cheer her on.

 

[ChrizJen]

Good grief! I can't imagine what the OP possibly did to draw such harsh criticism!
Regardless...OP, I agree with you on the gifts issue. If an invitation says "NO GIFTS", you don't bring gifts. Period. And I do consider it rude to ignore the request and bring a gift anyway. You see more and more invitations go out that way these days. And it makes perfect sense to me.

However, OP...I've also been to a few parties (as others have mentioned) where the hosts have requesteed gifts for a charity on the invitation. We thought that was a great idea! That way the party-goers can satisfy their sense of obligation to buy a gift, and the child can learn about giving to those who need more than she does. This is done by some friends of ours, and their child willingly and happily gives her gifts to charity. She loves it, and still has a GREAT time celebrating her birthday with friends and family!

 

[BelleWDW]

Good grief! I can't imagine what the OP possibly did to draw such harsh criticism!
!

Use your search feature

 

[testifyoncruises]

I find it terribly ironic that people and the yukus are having an issue with a group of people who refer to their December celebrations with a term made up for a television show when I bet those same people who celebrate Christmas have no issue whatsoever using iconography associated with their holiday that was created by a SOFT DRINK giant for purpose of advertising.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I find it terribly ironic that people and the yukus are having an issue with a group of people who refer to their December celebrations with a term made up for a television show when I bet those same people who celebrate Christmas have no issue whatsoever using iconography associated with their holiday that was created by a SOFT DRINK giant for purpose of advertising.

Couldn't let it get too far down the board, could you?