When you take family, do you charge them for the room?

Discussion in 'DVC Member Services' started by puffkin, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. puffkin

    puffkin DVC Owner- SSR & AKV

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    We bought into DVC on our honeymoon for 150 points. We have travelled to WDW frequently and I love it there (DH enjoys going on vacation). Anyway, we wanted to take my in-laws once so they could see why we enjoy it so much. They don't have a lot of extra money, so they probably wouldn't get to go otherwise.

    Anyways, we are going for a week next June in a two bedroom which will cost all of our 2005 and 2006 points. I think that they should offer to give us a little something towards the room or cover some of our airfare or something. My DH says that is unreasonable because we would be paying for the points regardless of how they are used. Then, I respond by saying we could have made two trips or more (staying in a studio) if we didn't take them, so there is an opportunity cost for using those points for his family.

    I want them to enjoy WDW such as my husband and I do, but I don't want them to think this is an open invitation. How do you handle this situation.
     
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  3. DisZip

    DisZip Mouseketeer

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    If you invited them, then no, I don't think you can ask or expect them to pay for the room, just their own expenses like airfare etc.

    If they offer to pay something towards it, then its up to you if you accept. Or they may offer to pick up the check at dinner a couple of times?

    We are taking my in-laws this Christmas. They have offered multiple times to pay towards to room, but we have refused. We invited them because we wanted them there, they did not ask to come. To be honesy, I feel bad because they are having to pay for the airfare and park tickets.

    Ofcourse, everyones situation is different and this is just my opinion.
     
  4. MnParrothead

    MnParrothead Member of the Corona Crew at DVB

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    No. We took my parents to VB on one occasion and did not charge them. I'm sure they will join us in the future and I will not charge them then either.

    They did pay for their own airfare and shared in the cost of the rental car though.
     
  5. AOPI57

    AOPI57 DVC owner BWV VB SSR

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    We just took my SIL and her family -4 people-. in a 2 bedroom at OKW. We had decide that we not ask them for anything towards their stay as we invited them to join us. Everything else they paid for on their own- tickets, meals. etc. I wouldn't make a habit out of it but once in a while we like to share the magic of DVC with family members that would like to experience it but can't afford to . my DH was happy he could do this for them. It's not something I would do all the time. We already have our vacation planned for next year With DVC and and will not use points to treat in laws. We have invited them to possibly cruise with us in 06 at their own expense. It will give them enough time to save. My SIL loved DVC so much and raved about it to my in laws that they're thinking of becoming members.
     
  6. allforpooh

    allforpooh DVC Member

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    I have to agree with the rest of the reply's, although I know when I researched this there were many different options from - just charging the maint fee cost to a percentage etc.

    We chose to not charge, we invited my DH's 2 brother's and their families for a grand gathering in March. This will be the second time to WDW for 1 family, but the other family has never been and would have difficulty making ends meet. We are covering the rooms 2 studio's and 1 one bedroom, they are covering their tickets, transportation etc.
     
  7. WDWLVR

    WDWLVR <font color=green>DVC @ The Boardwalk</font><br><f

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    We took my in-laws with us to WDW in October of 2002. We didn't charge them for the room, but told them they had to buy their own passes (we had AP's). They treated us to dinner 2 nights and they treated us to a day at Universal including lunch at Nascar cafe. We found on that trip that much as I love them - I don't travel well with them.

    We've also given them a week at Vero (them alone without us) and again we didn't charge them. This really works for us because they get a nice vacation and we can take ours when and where we want without them.

    Only you know what is right for you, but I agree that if you invite them you shouldn't charge them.
     
  8. OneMoreTry

    OneMoreTry <br><img src="http://www.wdwinfo.com/dis-sponsor/i

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    I would never be able to ask my in laws to pay. It would have to be an outright gift.

    If you give it as a gift you can't expect anything in return. If they give you a gift, that's great. But never expect one or you'll be disappointed. Just enjoy the GIVING.

    Since you have second thoughts, maybe you shouldn't make the offer right now.:earsboy:
     
  9. dianeschlicht

    dianeschlicht <font color=blue>DVC-Trivia Contest, Apr-2006: Hon

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    We have done many trips with family and friends as guests, and we have never asked for anything from them. I consider it my treat to give them a place to stay. If they have tight finances anyway, just the park passes and airfare are quite enough to handle. We just returned from a GV stay with 4 family groups. We had 12 people and had a GREAT time. They all paid their own way, but the family of 5 would have found it impossible to stay on-site if they had to pay for that too. We really enjoy sharing our DVC with family and friends. Each trip, our guests have done something special for us. Usually it is a nice dinner out at one of our favorite WDW restaurants, and some have even done CdS tickets. We don't expect anything other than a heartfelt thank you though! It is just so much fun to share with them.
     
  10. JessetheCowgirl

    JessetheCowgirl DIS Veteran

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  11. Chuck S

    Chuck S DVC Boards Co-Moderator Moderator

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    We have often taken family and friends and have never "charged" for the room. They paid their own meals and park admission. If they could afford it, they would usually pick up the tab at a nice dinner for all of us. If they couldn't afford it, we simply enjoyed having them along on the trip. In fact, one of the best trips we took was when a friend of mine couldn't even afford airfare, so we drove to WDW (think Nat'l Lampoon Vacation), it was absolutely the best road trip I'd ever taken. :)

    We invite people because we enjoy their company, not so they "pay" for their room. If we didn't truly want them there, we wouldn't invite them.
     
  12. mom2rb

    mom2rb DIS Veteran

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    When we bought DVC we bought enough points for the four of us plus my MIL. She is great and she was the one that passed on the Disney Freak gene to DH who in turn passed it on to me. When her boys were little they went every year. After the divorce she never was able to take her girls ( they went with the ex).

    Now my family doesn't know we own DVC so we would have to charge them. We would tell them that I got a great deal with the AP and that everything is in my name.

    My best friend and I plan on taking the kids some time and she will pay for the difference between a one bedroom and a two bedroom.
     
  13. puffkin

    puffkin DVC Owner- SSR & AKV

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    I don't know if we ever really invited them, as funny as that sounds. We are very young (24 & 26) and just starting out. No kids yet, but we do own a house and are building a new one. We are not poor, but we do have to keep a close eye on our budget. They have made comments over the years about us spending all this money on vacations and how can we afford it blah blah blah. To me, a vacation is a very important necessity in life, a chance to recharge and spend quality time together. Well, when we announced that we had bought into DVC, the questions started with how can you afford it, do you know what you are doing, do you want to go there for the next 50 years...

    So, in the meantime we invited my 7 year old niece to join DH and I next summer. Then, the inlaws started in on if we could handle a child for a whole week and things like that. All of a sudden, they were coming with us! I don't know how it happened, if there was some kind of subtle invite on our part or if they just invited themselves or if my husband invited them without me knowing. I can't uninvite them, but I am not thrilled about the prospect either. Nor am I thrilled about having to use up all my 2006 points either.

    I don't think my husband would accept anything monetarily from them, but it does kind of upset me that they didn't at least offer. We are trying to make ends meet as well, and I am giving up a years worth of disney (2006) to take them. Just was curious about other peoples thoughts.
     
  14. DrTomorrow

    DrTomorrow Your Disney friend from the Future!<br><font color

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    One of the main reasons we bought into DVC was to be able to treat friends and family; I'd never think of charging someone I invited. We're bringing a couple of dear friends with in December, and they're paying their own airfare, admission, meals, etc. We'll probably both go in on staples for the kitchen - bottled water, snackies, etc., but the room is on us.
     
  15. Chuck S

    Chuck S DVC Boards Co-Moderator Moderator

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    Well, see, that's a little different. I would almost bet that somehow your husband invited them...again, maybe unknowingly with a comment like, "You need to come with us sometime..."

    I mean, my response to a comment about bringing the 7 yo niece would have been, "We'll be fine, it'll be good practice for when we have kids." or some other benign remark.

    Unfortunately I think you're kind of stuck. The time to discuss "payment options" was really during the trip planning stage, before you made the room ressie for them.
     
  16. pplasky

    pplasky DIS Veteran

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    An invitation implies that you are not expecting anything in return. If they invited themselves that would be a different story. You stated that they would not be able to go otherwise, so wouldn't expecting money be a contradiction of why you originally invited them?
     
  17. DisZip

    DisZip Mouseketeer

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    I think its safe to say we all replied based on the premise that you invited them, which may not be the case.

    If they invited themselves, it would be reasonable to expect them to offer to pay something, but I am not sure about asking them to pay. Thats really up to you and depends on your relationship with your in-laws.

    Sounds like you are stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
     
  18. puffkin

    puffkin DVC Owner- SSR & AKV

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    I know I sound like a huge contradiction (and a greedy person) but my inlaws are so hard to explain:D

    They have to keep a close eye on their budget and they don't have tons of extra money lying around. They go to Virginia Beach every year and stay with my MIL's sister who lives there. That is their idea of a vacation. Except for the Jersey shore a few times with FIL's parents, they have never been anywhere, nor do they have a desire to go anywhere. Yet, they are quick to judge my husband and I, who like to go places all the time.

    Anyway, it isn't that they CAN'T afford WDW without some budgeting, it is that they WON'T afford WDW. I know their priorities are different than ours, to each their own. My husband thinks I am horrible for being upset that they didn't offer us anything for the room. I would never CHARGE them outright, but I still think they should offer something. If friends or family would invite us, I would insist on paying something for the room, and if they would refuse I would treat at a couple of meals or something like that. I guess the fact that they aren't even willing to offer has me peeved. I want them to experience (and love) Disney, but I hope they don't construe our generosity as an open invite for future trips. They even hinted about us taking their other son on a future trip, uh, no thank you. I can't even imagine what is going to happen when we have kids. Anyways, thanks for the opinions, just needed to vent.
     
  19. wtpclc

    wtpclc <font color=red>Has three great loves: Mickey, Po

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    Puffkin - So sorry for the predicament you're in! There's a reason my in-laws don't know about it. I think MIL and FIL would be ok, but too many siblings would want something! Good luck when you have kids, the in-laws are a surprisingly large part of the reason I don't!

    By the way, if they invited tehmselves, they should pay. If your DH invited them, that may be why he doesn't understand your frustrations. Maybe he should pay ;)
     
  20. DrTomorrow

    DrTomorrow Your Disney friend from the Future!<br><font color

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    puffkin,

    I'll be blunt, as I have this problem myself: it's a waste of time getting upset just because other people don't act the way you would in the same situation.

    Whenever DW and I are invited to someone's house for dinner, the first words out of my mouth are "What can I bring?" - which is what my mother used to say. I have found, though, that many other people do not think this way, and getting upset over it is just a waste of my emotional time and energy.

    As long as you do what you feel is right when the decisions are up to you, you'll feel fine....
     
  21. donaldbuzz&minnie

    donaldbuzz&minnie Happy to be here!

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    I think I would be inclined to just live through this one trip without charging them anything, but be on high alert for the next time they might invite themselves along.

    Sometime during this trip I'd probably say something like, "we just love the DVC...it's just too bad that we aren't able to buy enough points to do this again. It was really worth our not being able to come back for a couple of years to do it this one time, though. It's really been fun having you."

    That would set the stage for the next time they try to move in on your vacation (if I'm understanding the situation correctly). You could remind them then that, as much as you wish you were able to buy the points you would need to make a second trip possible for everyone, it just isn't in your budget. But it sure was fun the last time, huh?!

    Maybe if you know this will never happen again, it may be easier to get through this one trip as a gesture toward good family relations.
    ::MinnieMo
     

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