What would you do?

[dean556]

My dd is 5 and is going o her first field trip in school next friday.well today her and her friends were talking about it while they waited in line for the car riders.When she got in the car she started crying,I didnt get her calmed down till we got home,finally she told me she was scared of the bus (her uncle just got hit by a bus last month) and doesn't want to go on the field trip now.I know if she goes she will have a great time they are going to the pumpkin farm.I called the school when we got home but they will not allow me to drive her there.
help I dont know what to do I don't want to make her do something she is scared of.any input??

 

[GoinToDisney]

Hmmm... This is a tough one. Will they let you going on the bus with her?

 

[java]

I would explain the situation to the teacher and ask for her advice- calling the office would get you the standard "no driving" response. While talking with the teacher and explaining your situation- she may let you. Or as the other poster said perhaps you can go with her. I am guessing she will have to get on a bus eventually so maybe she needs to learn that they are safe ways to travel(well at least we can hope so) and with you going on one too she might feel better.- or maybe the teacher can sit with her? And time to talk about how fun a bus is! Get out those doodlebops and sing "we're gonna take a bus ride...everybody on board.."

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I would also see if you could ride on the bus with her. Usually teachers like having parents go a long to help control the kids.

 

[JMLBrats]

Why can't you drive her there? That doesn't make any sense.

 

[Nicolepa]

Why can't you drive her there? That doesn't make any sense.

I agree. I could understand if you were wanting to drive a child that was not your own, but not being able to drive you own child, crazy.

If that truely is the case, could you go unoffically? So essentially you wouldn't be offically on the field trip, but you would happen to go at the time as the class?

 

[TBGOES2DISNEY]

I agree. I could understand if you were wanting to drive a child that was not your own, but not being able to drive you own child, crazy.

If that truely is the case, could you go unoffically? So essentially you wouldn't be offically on the field trip, but you would happen to go at the time as the class?

I think it is just ridiculous what schools do sometimes! The parents should be the 1st authority, then the school, not the other way around!

Well, I agree with everyone else. You can talk to the teacher/school and see if they will be sympathetic. I can completely understand why your dd is scared. You can go with her on the bus. I hope it works out for you! Man, that really irks me....

 

[dean556]

I email the teacher to find out if I could go...am waiting to hear back

 

[MSSANDRA]

Our school has the rule that all children must be on the bus and no parents can ride the bus. It is a county wide insurance rule but I know that it can be broken becasue when my DS was in 1st grade the assistant was out and while this was a "no parent" trip, the teacher asked me ( I worked in her class once a week) to go and I did ride the bus. I would too ask the teacher if perhaps (explain your DD's fear) she could make an exception. Sounds like there is a real fear here (hope her uncle if ok). I think I would, since the accident is so fresh, give her the choice to go or not. Perhaps you can take a family trip there nex week-end.

 

[dean556]

Our school has the rule that all children must be on the bus and no parents can ride the bus. It is a county wide insurance rule but I know that it can be broken becasue when my DS was in 1st grade the assistant was out and while this was a "no parent" trip, the teacher asked me ( I worked in her class once a week) to go and I did ride the bus. I would too ask the teacher if perhaps (explain your DD's fear) she could make an exception. Sounds like there is a real fear here (hope her uncle if ok). I think I would, since the accident is so fresh, give her the choice to go or not. Perhaps you can take a family trip there nex week-end.

her uncle is doing better he ened up with a fractured pelvis,and crushed check bone we just saw him yesterday and he is looking and getting around great!!
I am still waiting on the teachers reply she is normally really good about getting back to parents but it is the weekend and she does deserve a day off just like the rest of us. Have talked to DH and if she doesnt want to go no one is going to make her and we will take her on saturday.

we are planning to go to disney in april and I hope we can get her over this fear. My DH loves not having to drive anywhere but we might have to......

 

[emh1129]

I just chaperoned for my son's field trip to the pumpkin farm~ the teacher was more than happy to have an extra set of eyes! I'm sure they will work something out for you.
Our elem. school office isn't usually very helpful with that sort of stuff, either. They always give out the 'official' answer which isn't always the right one with certain conditions (like yours).
If it doesn't work out with the school, I think you have a neat idea to take her there on a family field trip

 

[KirstenB]

One way you could drive her is: make her "absent" that day. Drive her to the pumpkin patch, and pay whatever the admission is. She'll still see all her friends, etc.

Our school doesn't allow younger siblings on field trips, so many times the parents who would normally be chaperoning just drive, and they still get to participate.

 

[*JoGo*]

I was going to suggest the same as the last poster. Or send her to school as usual, sign her out when the kids are getting on the bus, drive her to the field trip location, and back to the school, and sign her back in.

 

[TikiGoddess2006]

If you can't ride on the bus to the pumpkin patch, perhaps you could ride with her on a regular school bus during the week? Maybe you could have her ride to a friend's house on the bus (with you along to calm her)? Then she might have a bus buddy to go on the trip with...?

TikiG

 

[dean556]

update,the friday it was schedule they got rained out so on saturday me and my dd went on the city bus (had to drive to another town and park lol the things we do for our kids) I let her choose where we would go, we went to the park and came back.She cryed a little when we were waiting for it to pick us up I told her we didn't have to go we would just sit there and see if she felt like getting on. When the bus pulled up she watched a couple of other kids get on with their parents and decieded that she would try it so we rode the bus to the park,had lunch and rode the bus back to our car with no problems.
So today was her field trip we talked about how much fun we had on the bus this morning before school.i took her to schhol and dropped her off,when I picked her up today she was so excited that she went on the bus her teacher sat beside her and she told me "mommy I wasn't scared at all". So she is over her fear for now lol
I did find out in this state for you to go on field trips and help out in school you have to go through a background check(mine's in process now) which is why I couldn't just go on the bus.

 

[Anjiebaby]

Congratulations to your daughter. It is so sad to have to hear their fears and pain, but so amazing to be able to help them overcome an obstacle.
My DD is 3 and is in Montessori school her first field trip is in two weeks. She is a little she and is very orderly I know she will be worried that they are leaving school, so I jumped as soon as I heard they needed volunteers. I had my police check done 3 years ago when my son first started going on Field Trips.

 

[Momerath]

update,the friday it was schedule they got rained out so on saturday me and my dd went on the city bus (had to drive to another town and park lol the things we do for our kids) I let her choose where we would go, we went to the park and came back.She cryed a little when we were waiting for it to pick us up I told her we didn't have to go we would just sit there and see if she felt like getting on. When the bus pulled up she watched a couple of other kids get on with their parents and decieded that she would try it so we rode the bus to the park,had lunch and rode the bus back to our car with no problems.
So today was her field trip we talked about how much fun we had on the bus this morning before school.i took her to schhol and dropped her off,when I picked her up today she was so excited that she went on the bus her teacher sat beside her and she told me "mommy I wasn't scared at all". So she is over her fear for now lol
QUOTE]


I just wanted to say what an amazing mom you are--you gave your daughter the emotional support she needed to help her get over her fear and try a new experience and achieve growth and independence. This is the kind of mom I hope to be! Kudos to you!