What to do with a wedding rings?

[scbelleatheart]

DD called today. She was married for 8 years and then divorced. She still has her rings and wanted to know what to do with them. Six different jewelry stores offered her $600. The gold places said they would pay for the gold but not the diamonds. So she listed them on ebay for $2000 five times. No bites. She's afraid of Craigslist scammers.
So now the choices are
Keep an unpleasant memory
Sell for $600
Spend more money to have it made in to another piece.
The rings are appraised and insured for $7000.00 (14 C. gold plus diamonds)
DH told her to let us get them appraised locally and then put them away in our safe until she decides. He told her if she needed the money he would give it to her but she doesn't need the money. She's a Dr in private practice and at a major university. She just wants them gone. What would you tell your daughter to do?
I am not bragging about money or value but I hate to see her practically give the rings away but they have too many memories.
I'm kind of in the same mindset as DH but I don't want to upset her. She's been through enough.
Just a Mom

 

[NYCDiane]

If you have a "diamond district" in your area, she should sell them there. If not, sell them to the gold place but tell them to take the diamonds out first (IN FRONT OF HER) and give them back to her. She can sell the diamonds elsewhere privately. If they were appraised for 7K, bring them to the appraiser and see if she can sell the rings through them.

Your husband sounds like he has a good idea but it really seems to me that your daughter wants these rings gone.

 

[mward73]

What about taking the diamonds out and selling the gold. She can either try to sell the diamonds separately or get them made into something else at a later date (maybe try to find something that's already formed and just needs a stone). My mom has had hers for 20+ years - not because she wants the memory, but because she doesn't want to give them away (teeny diamond, so not worth much I wouldn't think). She just keeps them in a safe deposit box and ignores them. I guess she'll eventually do something with them.

 

[eliza61]

If she just wants them gone, take the $600 and call it a day. No amount of money is worth dragging up painful memories. She can donate to a charity and say at least some one got some use out of them.

How much is peace of mind worth?

I'd have chuck them down the toilet, the nanosecond the divorce was legal.

 

[LexiC123]

With the price of gold nowadays, I have to think she can do better than $600. Lots of folks on the DIS have received excellent payouts for their gold, per the info on this thread...present company included.

Unfortunately, pre-owned diamonds are incredibly hard to sell, recouping only a fraction of their worth. My sister and I went to half a dozen stores in NYC's diamond district trying to sell her old diamond ring. It was appraised at $6,500...the most any of them offered was $800. She sold the gold ring, but decided to hold onto the diamond, and maybe make it into a pendant or something, one of these days.

Wishing your DD the best of luck, whatever she decides to do.

 

[ancestry]

Does she have children from the marriage? If so I would keep them for the kids. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. I'm now in my 40s. My mother kept the rings for me. I really treasure that she did that.

 

[RitaE]

I really have no advice other than what has been given.
I just want to mention that I'm really not sure what the "appraisal value" of jewelry is supposed to mean because it is pretty widely accepted that

1. It's probably much more than what the retail value jewelery charged you so that you can feel like you received an awesome deal.

and

2. It's pretty much a guarantee that you'd never be able to sell whatever it is for anywhere near that amount.

Really I just look at the appraisal as a confirmation that what you bought contains the actual material and real stones like you were promised.

 

[Kay1]

She could also try relisting them on eBay but for less, even half what she asked before.

Good luck to her.

 

[a1tinkfans]

DD called today. She was married for 8 years and then divorced. She still has her rings and wanted to know what to do with them. Six different jewelry stores offered her $600. The gold places said they would pay for the gold but not the diamonds. So she listed them on ebay for $2000 five times. No bites. She's afraid of Craigslist scammers.
So now the choices are
Keep an unpleasant memory
Sell for $600
Spend more money to have it made in to another piece.
The rings are appraised and insured for $7000.00 (14 C. gold plus diamonds)
DH told her to let us get them appraised locally and then put them away in our safe until she decides. He told her if she needed the money he would give it to her but she doesn't need the money. She's a Dr in private practice and at a major university. She just wants them gone. What would you tell your daughter to do?
I am not bragging about money or value but I hate to see her practically give the rings away but they have too many memories.
I'm kind of in the same mindset as DH but I don't want to upset her. She's been through enough.
Just a Mom

Sorry she is dealing with this.
Take the ring and then decide how to get more $$, 7K value and offered 600. is just a silly rip off, IMHO. Diamonds have never DEvalued, its just that they know it is from a divorce and they are trying to take advantage,,,,you and hubby could do better...and when you get the $$ tell her splurge on something she likes..good luck...

 

[JamesMom]

The are some jewelry stores that will let you 'trade in' your old diamonds toward new jewelry. So, if she doesn't need the money (and has some to spare) and wants to get rid of the thing, trade up for a new cocktail ring or necklace. Need to spend 2x the value of the original stone and pay 1x (ie, diamond worth $3,000 - need to spend $6,000 and pay $3,000). Just a thought.

 

[MickeySP]

Try seeing if there are jewelery stores that will sell on consignment. She may get more, who knows.

If she is not need of the money why not donate them to a charity auction, they get a great item, she gets a tax deduction.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I, too, tried to sell my rings when I got divorced. Last summer, I took them to a local jeweler to see what I could get. The wedding ring, for which I'd only paid $200-$225, they offered $95. I was happy with that and I did want to be rid of the ring. But my diamond...I have the original $1200 receipt, the appraisal for the same, and they offered $200. They then told me to put an ad in our free community paper and "someone will pay you $800-$1000 for it." I haven't done it yet, though...I'm kind of scared. I do want to get rid of that ring as well, though. I don't care about re-setting it, I don't want it.

 

[ameraumi]

Late-DH passed away 2 years ago and I no longer wear my rings. I plan on taking them to the jeweler we use and have them remove the diamonds for DS and DD to use in the future. Actually, I want the main stone for DS to use (if he chooses) for his future wife's engagement ring. I have two smaller stones on each side of the large one that I will use to make a necklace for DD's Sweet Sixteen. I then plan on selling the gold if they will buy it.

I had a co-worker who had her rings melted down and remade into a necklace after her divorce. She had the rings melted into an "X" with the diamond in the middle.

 

[horseshowmom]

. She can donate to a charity and say at least some one got some use out of them.

By donating them, she can probably take the appraised value off on her income taxes which would benefit both her and the organization.

The are some jewelry stores that will let you 'trade in' your old diamonds toward new jewelry. So, if she doesn't need the money (and has some to spare) and wants to get rid of the thing, trade up for a new cocktail ring or necklace. Need to spend 2x the value of the original stone and pay 1x (ie, diamond worth $3,000 - need to spend $6,000 and pay $3,000). Just a thought.

Another good idea.

 

[shortbun]

My sister had a nice set. She had them turned into a necklace-big, uneven piece of gold with her pretty diamond offset into it. She wears it a lot. You can never sell jewlery for it's appraised value. It's weird isn't it?

 

[JessicaR]

Jewelry appraisals are almost always over inflated to show the full retail value not what was actually paid for the piece. True replacement value is what the ring is actually worth.

I would re-list on ebay, ask a jeweler to sell it on consignment, or remove the diamonds and sell the gold. If 6 places gave her the same $ for the gold I would say thats about all shes going to get for it.

Also and I doubt this would make her happy but she could locate a jeweler that will use her gold and stones to make another piece.

 

[PrincessDreams2]

I just recently made a similar decision. I had a platinum/diamond wedding ring set. My divorce has been final for 5 years. Ugly situation, bad divorce, you know the deal. Despite all of that, I have a wonderful DD7 from the marriage. I couldn't see totally getting rid of the rings for her sake. I took them to a local family owned jeweler and had them custom design a beautiful ring for me to wear out of the diamonds from my wedding rings and they gave me credit for the platinum towards the cost of the new ring. Now I have a fabulous piece of jewelry to wear now, and to pass on to my DD later and it will have some significance to her. Giving the old diamonds a new look took the painfulness of the situation away for me, and it symbolizes all that I have accomplished since then.

Even if your daughter doesn't have any children from the marriage, she deserves something nice for herself after all she's been through.

 

[agnes!]

OP - If your daughter has a friend with a high eBay rating, maybe they could sell the ring for her. I have a friend who's a Power Seller and I've sold a ton of stuff on EBay through her. She has a 100% rating and has sold 1000s of items... maybe there haven't been any offers because people are leery of buying a diamond ring from someone with a low buy or sell count.

agnes!

 

[Rora]

I'd take the $600.

 

[mom2rb]

When I was twelve, my mother let me choose a ring and we added the diamonds from her wedding ring to it. I loved it because it was from both of my parents. My dad had bought the diamonds and my mom bought the ring. When your parents are divorced you very rarely have something from both of them.