What does it take to get a 10 year old suspended from school?

[Debbie7452]

2 years ago, when my son was 10 a boy in his class got suspended for stabbing him with a pencil. It was sort of accidental because my son was coming back from the pencil sharpener when the boy started arguing and running away from the teacher. On his way past my son, he shoved the pencil into him. The same boy had turned his desk over another time in a fit of rage. He went to the alternative school for a while, but he is back in regular school now. I think he is a lot better with his temper these days. My son was injured but not badly.

 

[Goofyluver]

My kids told me today that one boy was suspended today after he received his TENTH note to his parents this year. He got the note today for climbing up on, and standing on top of the classroom's bookshelves.

He probably would not have even been suspended except for the fact that after the teacher gave him his note to his parents, he laughed at the teacher, and acted all proud about getting another note home. At that point the boy was sent to the principal's office and didn't return.

Personally I am more than a little surprised that it took that much. I would have imagined that the 4th note home would have been enough.

According to my kids, no other kids have had even 3 notes sent home for bad behavior.

How would that have been handled at your kids school?

A. Depends on what the notes were for. 10 notes may not be extreme if they're not all for behavioral issues.

B. I tell my kid not to concern himself with the business of other kids. Kids don't usually know what the heck is going on.

C. Unless I know the kid, I wouldn't pass judgment on him or his behavior. Wish others in this thread would do the same. The tendency to label every kid who misbehaves diminishes the fact that there are real children dealing with real issues. Not every kid who misbehaves has a label, nor do they need one.

 

[Ceila]

And as far as how many others get, well, there is a book that keeps track in the classroom of all misbehavior. And according to my kids, not many kids have their names in the book, and none more than 3x.

I'm sorry, but I am having trouble believing this. I've worked/volunteered in five different schools, 2 back in the 90's and 3 now that I have kids. There is no way a teacher would let kids have access to a list of who has had notes sent home. It's just not done. Something like that would be a privacy issue.

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

I'm sorry, but I am having trouble believing this. I've worked/volunteered in five different schools, 2 back in the 90's and 3 now that I have kids. There is no way a teacher would let kids have access to a list of who has had notes sent home. It's just not done. Something like that would be a privacy issue.

Well, they do. It's just stickers, but the kids know what they mean.

ETA: So I just asked my kids..... they don't have names in the books, but numbers. My daughters are numbers 17 and 18. But kids know what each others numbers are. I assumed they had the kids names in it.

 

[southern_redhead]

I'm sorry, but I am having trouble believing this. I've worked/volunteered in five different schools, 2 back in the 90's and 3 now that I have kids. There is no way a teacher would let kids have access to a list of who has had notes sent home. It's just not done. Something like that would be a privacy issue.

Well, I'd have to say it does sound a bit labor intesive for the teacher to keep up and I can't imagine why the kids would be getting in the book (unless part of the punishment is "Junior, you need to put a YELLOW sticker by your number and you will be getting a note home." But, I don't see how them having access to the book would be different than having a behavior chart on the wall for all to see. Many at our school do this - the kids have a green/yellow/red card, or stick, or clip and must rotate them if they get into trouble. At the beginning of the year the teacher explains that a yellow would mean no treat box at the end of the day or no PE, red would be a note or call to a parent...so when the kids look at the chart and see that Junior has put up his red clip they know he is taking a note home.

I have to agree with PP, unless this kid has a diagnosed disorder like ADHD or is truly dealing with an unaddressed LD, then he is likely just in need of a paddling.

At our school 5 write ups CAN get you sent off to an alternative school. Not WILL, but CAN. I suppose it varies on the severity of the write ups (five for talking out of turn, running in the halls would be very different than five for hitting other kids, verbally disrespecting someone...) I know some kids have been written up tons (literally, their write up papers alone take up entire folders) but haven't been sent anywhere. I know other kids who were gone on strike 5. I'm sure IEP's come into play into some of that, too. Although one child we consistently send away on strike 5 has an IEP so.....but that child is violent.

FWIW, the relaxed expectations for behavior in schools is a HUGE reason I am seriously looking into homeschooling my kids. You wouldn't BELIEVE the mess that goes on in classrooms and little Johnny/Sally isn't reprimanded because they have an IEP or they have parents that would raise the roof if their kid was punished. Frankly, I expect way more out of my kids than schools expect out of them and I could only name TWO kids out of my daughter's 16 kid classroom that I would have happily invited into our home to play with her. The other 14 ranged from just bratty/spoiled behaviors I wouldn't want her to pick up to seriously deranged (one child choked her IN CLASS and I went to the principal but nothing was done )

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

Well, I'd have to say it does sound a bit labor intesive for the teacher to keep up and I can't imagine why the kids would be getting in the book (unless part of the punishment is "Junior, you need to put a YELLOW sticker by your number and you will be getting a note home." But, I don't see how them having access to the book would be different than having a behavior chart on the wall for all to see. Many at our school do this - the kids have a green/yellow/red card, or stick, or clip and must rotate them if they get into trouble. At the beginning of the year the teacher explains that a yellow would mean no treat box at the end of the day or no PE, red would be a note or call to a parent...so when the kids look at the chart and see that Junior has put up his red clip they know he is taking a note home..........

Exactly. That was how it has been done until this year.

And if you don't get a yellow or red for a month, they give you 50 cents to go buy a book from the library. ( which really means nothing anyway as far as money, as it goes right back to the school, and the school gives away books it no longer wants, but the kids don't understand that )

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I've discovered that what actually happens in the classroom and what my kid tells me gets lost in translation.

 

[Big Cuddly Bear]

Dang, I had to go google IEP....

 

[phorsenuf]

I've discovered that what actually happens in the classroom and what my kid tells me gets lost in translation.

Yep, especially if it involves a 10 year old boy trying to be cool.

 

[telephoneman66]

just had to tell my story. I'm still kind of PO'd about it.

My son, a straight A student, was suspended for one day for giving a list of about 40 English words to his Mexican friend, also a straight A student, in between classes and asking his friend to write down the Spanish words for him.

Out of the 40 words, he wrote these 5 the teacher objected to: Hairy, Crack, Butt, Fat, and *****. All the rest were perfectly ordinary vocabulary words.

Now he was in 6th grade. I met with the teacher and principal. I pointed out to these ladies that he wasn't disrupting class, both boys had finished all their classroom assignment and their homework assignments and with 15 minutes left in her class were left to thier own devices. My son had finished his extra-curicualar reading book and taken his computerized test on it earlier in the day and didn't have another book to read. The teacher was busy teaching the slower students. My son's friend was filling out the paper quietly when the teacher looked over his shoulder and confiscated the list. When she read it, she sent both of them to the office, the principal suspended them both, without so much as a call or note sent home to the parents. We just got a call to come pick him up and he was not to return to school until the day after.

I pointed out to these two lady teachers that :

1) These advanced students in their advanced class shouldn't be allowed to have 15 minutes of free time after finishing classroom and homework assignments. They need to have additional work for them to pursue. The teacher whined that such work would take additional preparation. I told her that we've had this problem, albeit a good problem to have, with my son since first grade, and that every teacher in elemetary school recognized this problem and simply had photocopies of worksheets from the next higher grade level that she gave my son to work on when this happened. This was followed by more whining.

2) The 5 words they were objecting to, while taken together were moderately unacceptable, they are legitimate words. I gave conversational examples of each word used in a sentence which would not be considered offensive. I further told them that if they wished, I'd be happy to give them 20 offensive words for ***** right here and now, that he could've easily asked for in Spanish.

My son finished the school year with a 99 average in that teacher's class. Now go figure this out.....

 

[MM27]

BTW, I have no idea what an IEP is.

Individualized Education Plan

An IEP is not just given out for no reason. Students need to go through a referral process, interventions are tried and extensive testing is done. An IEP is not just given because a kid acts up in the classroom.

What does it take to get suspended is a huge question. I don't think it can be a general answer because all schools are different. In my school, the answer would be that you have to do one of the following:
1. Bring a weapon to school
2. Get in a physical fight with someone
3. Do severe damage to the school building

My principal does not believe in suspensions because the theory is that for some kids, staying home for a few days is actually a reward. In some cases they do have an in school suspension that means they sit in an admin. office all day and do work. My principal, instead of suspensions will take away things like assemblies, field trips, etc.

 

[LSUmom4kids]

We are a two working parent family. DS is 10 and the youngest of 4. He's a picky eater and has been in trouble at school since Kindergarten! At the end of 4th grade we had him tested for gifted as his teacher recommended - teacher thought he was bored. He passed the test and was put in a few gifted classes this year (5th grade), but he still acted out. He is moody, gets angry easily, and wants to walk to the beat of his own drum - doesn't like anyone to tell him what to do!

But he can be the sweetest child; loves to cuddle, is very responsible and very intelligent! He relates better to adults than kids.

So we resorted to psychological testing, a play therapist and when that didn't really help, we saw a psychiatrist who prescribed medication. He continues to see the therapist and psychiatrist, although he is putting up a fight not to see the play therapist cause "all she wants to do is talk about feelings!". He's a 10 yr. old boy!

Spanking and punishments didn't work. His test results diagnosis: slight ADHD and ODD (obstinent defiant disorder- which is what I thought all along!).

I know some people may disagree about medicating, but we have good news to report! He got a 3.4 GPA this last 9 weeks, his attitude and moods are better, the teachers gave him one of the "most improved student" awards at the end of school, and his behavior has improved!

He's taking the smallest doses of Intuniv, Concerta and as of two weeks ago, generic Zoloft. You see, my husband suffers from depression, as did his father (a suicide victim) and his grandmother. Depression runs in our family and if medication is what it takes for normalcy, we'll do what is necessary for our son and us as a family. we are taking an active role in our son's life.

You can say "bad parenting", or "bad kids", but until you walk in the shoes of someone like my son, or as a parent of a child like my son (the "bad kid"), passing judgment should be reserved. There are plenty of parents out there who don't care about their kids and don't take the time to take an active role in their kids' lives. But we do care. Thanks for letting me get this "off my chest"!

 

[lyeag]

OP, it practically takes an act of God to get a child that young suspended.

 

[mickeyboat]

My DDs' school is wonderful, but dealing with discipline issues is not its strongpoint.

Their solution for kids with consistent behavioral problems is to have them monitored by a team which gives them behavioral goals. If they meet certain goals, they are given rewards.

Sounds good, right? I'm not convinced.

Should there really be rewards for behaving like a decent human being? For doing what you are supposed to be doing in class? To be keeping yourself to yourself? Is it really that hard to behave?

Their behavioral team's room has a nice, large bulletin board outside which is covered with cool pictures of these kids. These kids eat lunch in their "room" and get passes to go to the front of the lunch line. They regularly are treated to ice cream and cookies, and sometimes get to bring a friend to lunch with them (who also gets a front of the line pass). Oh, and their "room" has a mascot - a puppy which sometimes comes to visit.

Where's the incentive to behave?

DD came home every day at the beginning of the school year in tears because some kids in her class were such incredible distractions that she could not concentrate. I understand that kids have problems, but they should not interfere so severely with another's student right to her education.

The program is not working.

 

[FredinFL]

Apparently a phone call about said 10 year old's facebook where they are wishing something will do it.

 

[tasha99]

OP, it practically takes an act of God to get a child that young suspended.

Or bringing a plastic knife from the cafeteria to class. "No tolerance," you know.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Well, apparently, our principal is suspension happy.

I personally know of at least 3 kindergarteners ( over the course of several years ) who have been suspended. DD's science teacher's 1st grade son has been suspended twice this year. Ofcourse, I'm not in the school every day but my children talk like any child that gets sent out of the classroom to the principal gets suspended.

 

[hereyago]

OP, it practically takes an act of God to get a child that young suspended.

Very true.

There was a story on the local news in a neighboring city. Now these were 15 year olds, the boy had to have plastic surgery because he was beaten in the face so bad.
the boy's mother went to the school wanting to know what had been done in the way of discipline of this kid who did this to her son, she also wanted to see the video camera footage of it. She has been denied on both counts, because the assailiant has rights, the kids who were happen to be in range of the video camera also have rights that the school cannot, will not release until as they told her to get a lawyer and take it to court and have to judge decide.

A couple years ago, DD was in 5th grade. she came home and said Mom, we had a lock down at the school and they were locked in their rooms. why? not from an intruder but from a boy who goes to the school. he didn't have a gun or knife. but what ever he was doing was serious enough to lock the rooms down from him.


the next day we got a lovely letter from school somewhat explaining the lock down. it also had in the note about we couldn't know his identity, or what happened in the way of what went on, but the lock down was for HIS safety as well as the other students. this kid had more rights then the ones locked in the rooms, their education was disrupted.

The system is messed up severely.

 

[hereyago]

Their behavioral team's room has a nice, large bulletin board outside which is covered with cool pictures of these kids. These kids eat lunch in their "room" and get passes to go to the front of the lunch line. They regularly are treated to ice cream and cookies, and sometimes get to bring a friend to lunch with them (who also gets a front of the line pass). Oh, and their "room" has a mascot - a puppy which sometimes comes to visit.

Where's the incentive to behave?



The program is not working.

Holy crap!!!!!!! who thought of this idea for a behavoir team? dang i'd like to get ice cream and a puppy visit, but if I acted up in the "real world", that wouldn't be happening. what a bunch of enablers.

 

[bapcap]

Unfortunately, with all of the budget cuts throughout the country, our schools and children will be the ones to suffer the most. More children per classroom, less teachers per school, no more teacher aides, no more school nurses, and in our district, they are discussing no more librarians in the school libraries. Teachers will be responsible for checking out and re-shelving books that their class wants or needs. All this on top of more job duties for less money. Discipline problems are already a big part of every teacher's day. My daughter teaches a 4-5 combo class of 35 kids and she is getting so burnt out with teaching...it's not the kids, it's dealing with the parents (or lack of parental involvement), dealing with the paperwork, it's sad what is happening to our education system in this country!!!