What do your dil/sil's call you?

[mkymouse1928]

I call my il's by their first names, and my DH does the same with my parents. When we first got engaged, 17 yrs ago, my mom made a point of telling my DH to use whatever he was comfortable with. I know he really appreciated her doing that.

 

[bellebud]

first names for inlaws here. I've always thought it was sweet for inlaws to use mom and dad though. One of my sister-in-laws calls my mom "mom", and every time I hear it, I like it.

The only thing I'm surprised reading here are the ones who insist on being called Mr or Mrs X, after the marriage. I actually don't think I could do that, as the child-in-law. It's SO disrespectful of the parent to the child-in-law. I think I'd avoid calling them anything if they insisted I call them something so formal. Talk about cold... yikes!

If/when I have a dil or sil, I'd be fine w/ mom or my first name.

 

[rndmr2]

I call my MIL by her first name, If I am signing a card or gift tag from both of us I will put "Mom" but I don't call her that. I knew her for 3 years before DH and I got married. She is like a Mom to me, though, since my mom passed away in 2002.

I started calling FIL by his first name, but my SIL (before she married BIL) started calling him "Papa" so that caught on and we mostly called him that. He passed away in 2010 and we all refer to him as Papa most of the time, even MIL sometimes.

DH calls my Dad by his first name. He is Pop Pop to the grandkids and my BIL calls him that.

My dad called my Grandmom (his MIL) "Mom"

 

[2disneyboys]

My dh and I started dating when we were 17 and dated for 5 years before we got engaged/ married. My dh called my parents mr & mrs, and being a creature of habit, 20 years later that's what he still calls them, lol. He is extremely close with my mom, so I know its not a standoffish thing... Just more habit.
I have always had a nickname for my fil, and to this day that's what I call him. I have always called my mil mom or first name.

I don't care what my future dil's call me, but I do think it's a good ideal to have that moment where you tell them u r fine with them calling u whatever they are comfortable with....it gets rid of any potential awkwardness.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We just had two engagements. I was never given a proper name to call my mil and don't want to do that. I just don't know what is good. I always thought we would go with mom and dad. But my future sil recently lost his mom. I don't want to upset him by suggesting this. Any ideas?

I would go first names since they are married. I am not comfortable with mom/dad but also not against it either.

 

[crz4mm2]

I call mine by their first names.
My DIL calls me by my first name most of the times. Sometimes she says "Mom".

I think whatever you feel comfortable with AND whatever they feel comfortable with.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Did you discuss what names to use or did the young adults just choose? I just remember never bein given an acceptable name for my mil who I rarely saw. I was very young and shy and mostly tried to not have to call her by name. I don't want my new family to feel like this.

 

[crz4mm2]

Did you discuss what names to use or did the young adults just choose? I just remember never bein given an acceptable name for my mil who I rarely saw. I was very young and shy and mostly tried to not have to call her by name. I don't want my new family to feel like this.

Nope, didn't discuss at all.
I guess if I had to do it over again, I would have said "you can call me *myfirst name* or Mom whatever you are comfortable with.

 

[Jkpark]

My MIL wants me to call her mom and it just isn't comfortable for me (as wonderful as she is). So like you - I try to not call her anything. Now that I have children and they call her Mima - I will call that around the kids. I think I would have liked to call her by her first name. Mrs. sounds so formal (plus that is my name now too). If you are okay with them calling you by your first name, I think it says you respect they are an adult, but the choice to call a non-parent Mom or Dad should be their choice. All IMO of course.

 

[4nana]

I loved my IL's dearly, they accepted me with open arms, and I always called them Mom & Pop . Sadly they've been departed for years . DH calls my mom ~ Mama, or by her first name.

When our 4 IL's joined our family we told them we'd leave it up to them what they felt comfortable calling us . Honestly, we love our kids spouses like our own, so feels natural the two local SonILs call us Mom & Dad, the 3rd SIL is out of state and calls us M&D ocassionally, but usually by our first names . Family get togethers it's always Mom & Dad N. (for our last name) to avoid confusion. Sadly, within last few yrs several of IL parents have passed.

DIL, who is like one of our daughters, and I gave each other nicknames when she joined our family ~ we refer to each other fondly as MIL in 'mill' and I call her DIL 'dill'...other wise it's 1st name basis . Works great for us.

IMO, once you marry into a family ~ be it good, bad or ugly ~ hopefully you join forces and work together bonding to be a loving family . In our world, no reason to be so formal or uptight . IL's should simply discuss it openingly and do whatever they are comfortable with.

 

[Nancyg56]

My first husbands parents insisted I call them Mom and Dad. No. I had a Mother and father so that would have been disrespectful IMO. They insisted so I called them nothing. When the kids came along I referred to them as Meme and Gramps and called them by name.

I
My DDIL's cal me Nan. One DD's Mom was not nurturing so she always likes me to call her my daughter and I am happy to do that.

 

[NMAmy]

Did you discuss what names to use or did the young adults just choose? I just remember never bein given an acceptable name for my mil who I rarely saw. I was very young and shy and mostly tried to not have to call her by name. I don't want my new family to feel like this.

Just curious--what are they calling you now?

 

[nmmom95]

My husband calls my parents by their first names. My IL's, who have never been very fond of me, told DH to tell me that they did not want to be called by their first names and I should call them mom & dad. I felt very awkward, so I avoided calling them anything. They haven't spoken to us in 10 years, so that solved my problem.

 

[Disney Doll]

DH calls my parents by their first names.
I called my late in-laws by their first names. My late DFIL & I also had a little nickname that we called each other, that stemmed from a cute little scenario that happened when DH & I were first dating.

I think I would have felt funny calling them Mom and Dad, even though I was very fond of both of them.

 

[wishuponastarforever]

Both SILs call DH and I by our first names. One of our SILs also lost his Mother. We never wanted either of them to feel awkard.

My MIL insisted I call them Mom and Dad. It wasn't comfortable for me so I called them Mama and Papa G.

My DH called my Dad father in law person and calls my mom mother in law person. They thought he was funny. I guess anything goes as long as no one is unhappy with the choice.

 

[packofjedis]

My in-laws from the get-go had me call them "mom and dad." At first, trying to get along with everyone, it was fine. Since then, my dad passed away years ago, I can tell you that I resent calling FIL "dad." He's not my dad, and after the loss of my dad, I felt it moreso than ever.

I have no choice in the matter, though. Once called my MIL by her real name to FIL and got lectured. So I'll keep doing what they want for now.

Personally, if I was in your shoes, I'd give future SIL the choice. I'd explain it just as you've told us. Tell him you're perfectly fine with him calling you by your first name or mom. Whichever he's comfortable with.

 

[Nancy]

I call my MIL Mom and my DH calls my Mom mom. I called my FIL Dad and same for DH, mine was Dad. I would feel so uncomfortable calling her by her first name, it would be like I didn't like her or didn't feel I was part of her family. When I married DH his parents became my parents by marriage so of course they were Mom and Dad.

I would hope that when my girls get married that they will call us Mom and Dad since I would expect my son in laws to be part of my family. I would also hop that my daughters call their in-laws Mom and Dad because that would mean they are welcomed and loved in their new families (JMHO)