What do you expect from your childcare provider?

[grlpwrd]

I am a family childcare provider. Have been for 9 years. Right now I have a family that is driving me insane. I am wondering if it is me, or them.

For instance..this morning they come in and tell me that 2 of their 3 kids have swimming lessons tonight, right after daycare. They want me to give them something to eat right before they get picked up at 5:30 since they won't be home until 7:30. I don't think it is my responsibility. I feed them breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack at 3:30. If they want their kids to eat, they need to pack something they can eat in the car or pick them up earlier and take them home to eat.

I know this sounds very petty, but it really is just "the straw that broke the camel's back".

So what kind of "extras" do you expect from your childcare provider?


Melissa

When I had a daycare I charged for "extras, " like extra meals. They also had the option of bringing food like dinner and a snack so I could warm it up if needed and I explained to the other kids what was up and had them eat in a seperate area than the other kids to avoid "I wants."

I know dealing with parents is usually more difficult than caring for the kids . Please revise your policy and contract if you decide and let them know as soon as possible.

 

[Happy Homeschooler]

It sounds to me like they are getting a little too "comfortable" with you and taking advantage.

I totally agree. I have it in my contract that if I agree to unscheduled days, it is an extra $10 on top of the regular fee. For holidays, it's an extra $20. If they bounce a check, it's $20, and from then on they pay cash. If they're five days late paying, I won't watch their child anymore. If they're ever late picking their child up, it's $3 per five minutes late. (I'm understanding about the late fee if there's a snow storm and if it doesn't happen often.)

Maybe that sounds harsh, but I made so many mistakes when I was first starting that now I'ev learned not to let them take advantage. This is a business I'm running. I depend on the income to pay bills, but I won't let it negatively affect my home.

 

[lulugirl]

Tell them to pick up a few happy meals on the way to swim lessons.
Sounds like they'll keep asking for favors.....

 

[Rachie0507]

I am a daycare provider also and I have never been in this situation. I also couldn't imagine any of the families I service now asking that!! They know I have a life beyond their children and I can't drop everything to fill this request. But I also agree that for the right family on occassion I would try to accommodate them.

What I have faced is parents bringing their kids in the morning (drop-offs are between 7:40-8:30) and saying, "We didn't get around to breakfast this morning but I told them you would give them something when they got here". At that I smile and say to the child, "Don't worry it will be snack time soon". My meal times and snack times are in my policies (9:30/12:00/3:30). My own children are already fed when children arrive, I can't be a restaurant!! I've never had a child crying with hunger, if I did I would give them a small snack immediately. That is kind of the reverse of what the OP was saying, but just my experience.

 

[poet123]

I'd say no.




It sounds harsh, but that's their choice to overschedule their kids, and if they care enough, they'll pick them up early enough to feed them beforehand.

I run a home daycare also and have learned that people will take advantage if you let them. I provide breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack. That's it. (That's all the state will reimburse me for) I don't allow them to bring food unless they bring enough for everybody, and it isn't junkfood, and I'll serve it during one of our scheduled mealtimes. Otherwise, it disrupts everyone else's eating schedule (ex, my own son's).

My son is my first responsibility. Those other kids are a means of income. I'll do what is reasonable and necessary to care for them, but I'm not going to let it interfere with what my son needs from me.

I have never used home day care as I stayed home and cared for my own children till they were of school age. I appreciate how fortunate that makes me and my children. I then returned to work in a part time role which fits around my kids, this was not luck but was carefullly planned. This is not possible for everyone.
If I were using this kind of service though I would feel very uneasy leaving my kids in the care of someone who would say bluntly

My son is my first responsibility. Those other kids are a means of income. I'll do what is reasonable and necessary to care for them, but I'm not going to let it interfere with what my son needs from me.[/QUOTE]

This quote says to me that my kids would be tolerated not really wanted in the home of this carer ,and would not be getting much in the way of the affection which usually folows when adults care for a child over a period of time. Kids are not profit and loss statements.
If you feel your own child needs your undivided attention maybe you are in the wrong sector and should consider other options for an income.
Just my opinion as an outsider to childcare issues.

 

[paigevz]

I expect her to show up at my house (she comes to our house) on time or call before 7 am if she can't.........because I have to call for a sub before 7. I expect her to feed my son breakfast, one snack, and lunch, and to give him drinks on request..........my kitchen, my food, she doesn't have to pay for anything. I expect her sometimes to give him meds as I request. I expect her to pay attention to my son, play with him, read to him. I expect her to have my son take his toys back to his playroom when he's done with them. On the days he has preschool in the early evenings, I expect him to be dressed, freshly changed, hair combed and shoes on when I get home. I expect her to occasionally come in 15 minutes early when I have meetings, and to try to accommodate me if I have to be late for unusual circumstances (a couple times a year I will have a child just not picked up from school...............I will not leave the kid with office staff when they're already scared, and I will call her and ask her to stay until my husband gets there at 5, she has always been gracious about it).

I do not expect her to ever feed him dinner, but our agreement is that I'm home by 4:15. I don't expect her to do any cleaning, but sometimes she does. I don't expect her to even do up his breakfast and lunch dishes, but she always does.

I pay her for all school breaks, but she does not work, as I am off then. I pay her for full weeks, even if he or she is sick for part of the week. She takes one week herself when I am not off, and I must find alternate care, and I do not pay her for that week. I also do not pay her during the summer, as I'm off and she doesn't watch him.

I would like for her to do more art things with him, and occasionally she will if I leave the things out and ask her to do it, but I usually have to ask for it. I wish she'd take him outside, but she doesn't because of our dogs. In the new house, we'll have a dog run though, and then I'll insist on it.

I think you're giving in too much. They know they can't find better care at a lower cost and that no one else will do it either. Put your foot down.

 

[disykat]

"My son is my first responsibility. Those other kids are a means of income. I'll do what is reasonable and necessary to care for them, but I'm not going to let it interfere with what my son needs from me."
This quote says to me that my kids would be tolerated not really wanted in the home of this carer ,and would not be getting much in the way of the affection which usually folows when adults care for a child over a period of time. Kids are not profit and loss statements.
If you feel your own child needs your undivided attention maybe you are in the wrong sector and should consider other options for an income.
Just my opinion as an outsider to childcare issues.

Wow - that's harsh! I've never used daycare either, but I fully understand that a daycare provider needs to keep her own family in mind - and that means not letting herself be taken advantage of!

 

[luv2nascar]

they go to daycare for 10+hrs and then go home to a babysitter
did they really want kids?? come on slow down a little bit to enjoy your family

 

[Hillbeans]

Interesting thread.

We now use a home based daycare but for close to 3 years used a Daycare center. Our current home sitter is pretty laid back, however he main rule is that 1) no kids after 6 pm because she has a life and that 2) we pay her the same rate each week regardless of our hours (unless we need an extra day). We currently only bring him there 3 days per week.

I think it's not unreasonable to expect that every now and then, I may ask my sitter if I can bring my child on an unscheduled day...I never really thought this was such a burdeon - maybe it is to some though. As long as I pay for the day, if she's watching others that day what is the big difference as long as she's ok with it??

She does feed our son Breakfast because he's there at 7 AM, however we pack Breakfast, Snack, Lunch and two full cups of milk and juice. We try and respect her and keep a very open line of communication. In turn, we pretty much never worry about our son during our work day, and I know he's well taken care of. We also pay our sitter for one week of vacation, monday holidays and a nice Christmas Bonus. Perhaps it's time for a talk with these parents to bring in the reigns...or it may be time to cut them loose.

 

[Happy Homeschooler]

Never mind.

 

[RobinMarie]

I never used an at home daycare other than family. I did use a center because I was terribly afraid of the situation someone named: the daycare provider I am paying will put her child's wants before mine.

I deal with parents all the time except the ones I deal with are parents of adult children with intellectual disabilities. In my opinion they are tougher because they've had my entire lifetime to buck the systems.

I expect a daycare provider to be clear about expectations/contract.

I expect a daycare provider to provide care when I am at work. I have heard stories about providers calling out sick, taking personal days and the like.
While I understand it, I do not have the type of job where this type of daycare would have been acceptable.

I expect a daycare provider to provide a fun and safe environment. So they might eat a little more junk food than I'd like, hey it takes a village...

I think in the OP case she ought to be very clear and explain while she'd love to be flexible, the 5pm hour is for updating other parents, clean up and sanitizing and NOT a time to be beginning a new meal for the kids. Since she is consistent, she must give the same answer as she has given other parents with this request (who the heck cares if this is a first request, fake it)

I feel for providers. I DO hope I was a decent parent when my child was in daycare. I understood about paying regardless of hours but I used to get a little annoyed when the ratio wasn't complete when I brought my daughter in and I'd stay until another staff came into the room.

I remember my day care center had some wackjob parents. I'd bring my dd in and I'd see notes:
Please do not give Missy a nap today. She is traveling to see her grandmother and I want her to sleep in the car

What did she expect, 1:1 attention for her little darling while the other kids are sleeping? Sheesh put the darn kid down for a nap so everyone can rest, INCLUDING the staff.

 

[minmate]

I would say, "I'd be happy to feed them, as long as you pack them convenient food options and if you forget, well I suppose, you could pick up some happy meals for them on the way here that they can eat in the car... "Then give her a list (whatever you're comfortable with, whether it's heat and serve mac-n-cheese, applesauce cups, pre-made sandwiches, etc. and for The 1yo... cheerios, dry cooked pasta, finger foods)

Personally, I feel it should be okay to give them the extra meal, as long as you aren't having to really go out of your way for it. Was this for 1 day a week? I can't remember now. Sure, you may have to clean off the table again, but the 6yo can clear his/her things and the 2yo can do some of that (well, at least I know my 2yo has been taking her plate and things to the dishwasher since she was 18 months old... I have to remind her frequently but she gets it done, and she can throw her trash away on her own). I'm not sure of your set-up, and how many kids you have, but as the authority figure, can't you place the eating kids in the kitchen or at the table to eat and explain to the other children, "Sometimes families have different schedules.This is Sue, Mary and Joe's dinner time. They are allowed to eat now because they won't be eating later when you are at home eating with your moms and dads." And then engage them in another activity. Of course, you will need to keep an eye on the kids eating (choking hazards, etc.)...

Believe it or not, I have worked in childcare centers where we would serve kids their dinner (that was brought in) to some of the kids and not others. We also encouraged nap time but if the kids really struggled with it, they could have quiet time with a book but had to stay on their cot or in a certain area.

But one of the draws of home daycare should be the more individualized attention... usually a smaller group and more ability to cater to special needs... within reason.

Whatever you do, I would seriously get some guidelines that clearly address some of these sticky points and get them in writing and get your parents to sign off on them.

I do not agree with you watching her kids on extra days at no charge... You MUST charge... that is still your time! No childcare center will take on kids for extra days at no charge (although one place I worked had the same rate for 4 and 5 days so that would be the exception -- always had to get permission to do it too). And I would have a late charge policy definately... like Happy Homeschoolers. One place I worked parents got a 5 minute grace and after that it was $1.00 a minute and they knew it and had to pay it right then and there or their child would not be accepted back until they did. We also would often call them on their cell to remind them so if they couldn't use, "Oh, I don't have cash on me" for an excuse... Of course stopping at an ATM adds late minutes... but that's not the providers' fault. Of course there were exceptions... accidents on the interstate, etc. but only on a case-by-case basis... and NEVER for a family who likes to take advantage.

As for the comments about considering other kids in one's care as a "means of income," I'm going to give Happy Homeschooler the benefit of the doubt that is not how she feels and behaves towards the children in her care. I think it is a comment she made here as a way to illustrate how much a home care provider has to balance.

 

[poet123]

Wow - that's harsh! I've never used daycare either, but I fully understand that a daycare provider needs to keep her own family in mind - and that means not letting herself be taken advantage of!

I am sorry if it came over harsh but I feel the way it was written was harsh and blunt. The issue about feeding dinner I fully agree with if it isnt the norm then you need to speak up.

I just felt that there was an undercurrent of something else here that really was more related to the fact that maybe this poster doesn't really want to be in this job but feels limited in her options and it was that which came through to me in the post rather than the issue being discussed.

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally Posted by Happy Homeschooler
I'd say no.




It sounds harsh, but that's their choice to overschedule their kids, and if they care enough, they'll pick them up early enough to feed them beforehand.

I run a home daycare also and have learned that people will take advantage if you let them. I provide breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack. That's it. (That's all the state will reimburse me for) I don't allow them to bring food unless they bring enough for everybody, and it isn't junkfood, and I'll serve it during one of our scheduled mealtimes. Otherwise, it disrupts everyone else's eating schedule (ex, my own son's).

My son is my first responsibility. Those other kids are a means of income. I'll do what is reasonable and necessary to care for them, but I'm not going to let it interfere with what my son needs from me.


I am curious about something...how do you manage to homeschool and do home child care for other kids?? I know there is no way my daughter would sit and be able to be schooled while there were other kids running around the house.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I never used an at home daycare other than family. I did use a center because I was terribly afraid of the situation someone named: the daycare provider I am paying will put her child's wants before mine.

I had the same fear when my son was young. I could have saved tons of money if I'd used a home daycare. However, I always felt that the providers would have a hard time treating the kids she cares for and her kids equally.

I've never heard a teacher or childcare provider come out and say that they see the kids they care for/teach "as just a means of income." Amazing

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I totally agree. I have it in my contract that if I agree to unscheduled days, it is an extra $10 on top of the regular fee. For holidays, it's an extra $20. If they bounce a check, it's $20, and from then on they pay cash. If they're five days late paying, I won't watch their child anymore. If they're ever late picking their child up, it's $3 per five minutes late. (I'm understanding about the late fee if there's a snow storm and if it doesn't happen often.)

Maybe that sounds harsh, but I made so many mistakes when I was first starting that now I'ev learned not to let them take advantage. This is a business I'm running. I depend on the income to pay bills, but I won't let it negatively affect my home.

That is not harsh at all. It is more than fair, and keeps people in line. SO many people out there will take advantage of a "few extra minutes".

My next door neighbor in the town I just moved from did home daycare. Kudos to all of you! I could not do it.

 

[MelCald]

they go to daycare for 10+hrs and then go home to a babysitter
did they really want kids?? come on slow down a little bit to enjoy your family

That's exactly what I think sometimes. Kicker is...1yo is adopted. Adoption became final just Tuesday morning. Guess who was here by noon. Mom was home "organizing". I think it is very sad.

 

[MelCald]

I am sorry if it came over harsh but I feel the way it was written was harsh and blunt. The issue about feeding dinner I fully agree with if it isnt the norm then you need to speak up.

I just felt that there was an undercurrent of something else here that really was more related to the fact that maybe this poster doesn't really want to be in this job but feels limited in her options and it was that which came through to me in the post rather than the issue being discussed.

Actually I love my job. Most of the time! I keep my ratios low because I really like to be able to treat these kids like my own. When I am asked to do extra days it just makes my days really difficult. I don't follow a set curriculum, but these kids are learning new things everyday. If we watch a tv show about frogs, we might go on the computer and look up some types of frogs and then go to the pond and find some. We just go with the flow. When I have more than a few kids it just becomes too difficult to do anything.

Thanks for all of the support. I know this parent and I really just have different feelings about raising our families. She wants them to have everyone opportunity..drum lessons, swimming, basketball, dance skiing, skating..I otoh think kids need to be kids and don't overschedule.

Melissa

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I thought of this thread this morning when the girl I take care of walked in eating her breakfast. I don't have a problem with that since my kids are all older (my 5yo son is the only other child here in the mornings) and can understand someone having something different to eat. Also, my son has not always eaten when she gets here so she sees him eat. The girl I watch is old enough to clean up her mess, which helps (not that there is much of one).

I do understand it being a problem if a person watches a lot of young children or a parent expecting food to be provided for their child.

As to daycare children being treated differently than a providers own children--this is a tough one. I've rarely watched real young children for two reasons. One is that I feel very strongly that they should be at home being watched during those early years by a loving parent. The other reason is that I know that, even though I love babies and toddlers and would give great care (and have the times that I have actually watched babies) is that they are not my babies and I am not invested in them like I am my own children.

The last baby I watched is now 8 years old and I always said that I treated him like my own child, which I did as much as I ever thought possible. He got so much attention from me (I had my own 3yo and the baby was picked up before all the other kids got home from school). I did everything with him that I did with my children, including shopping, the dentist, school visits, etc. As much as I loved him, he still wasn't mine. The mother knew how good the situation was a treated me very well, probably my best parent situation ever.

Not trying to start a debate, just giving some insight from an honest caregiver. I just went through my renewal for my registration and am now only registered for children ages 5 and up.

T&B

 

[Christine]

As to daycare children being treated differently than a providers own children--this is a tough one. I've rarely watched real young children for two reasons. One is that I feel very strongly that they should be at home being watched during those early years by a loving parent. The other reason is that I know that, even though I love babies and toddlers and would give great care (and have the times that I have actually watched babies) is that they are not my babies and I am not invested in them like I am my own children.

The last baby I watched is now 8 years old and I always said that I treated him like my own child, which I did as much as I ever thought possible. He got so much attention from me (I had my own 3yo and the baby was picked up before all the other kids got home from school). I did everything with him that I did with my children, including shopping, the dentist, school visits, etc. As much as I loved him, he still wasn't mine. The mother knew how good the situation was a treated me very well, probably my best parent situation ever.

Not trying to start a debate, just giving some insight from an honest caregiver. I just went through my renewal for my registration and am now only registered for children ages 5 and up.

T&B

T&B,
As a parent who uses daycare, I agree with you. If any parent deludes themselves into thinking that ANY daycare provider treats or loves their children as much as their own, they are setting themselves up for a dissapointment. That's not to say that daycare providers don't put on a good face and make the child feel welcome. But, I don't think anyone really believes that 99.999% of daycare providers aren't in it for the money. It *is* all about the income. Why else would they be doing it. I've considered doing it myself because it is pretty good money and you get to stay at home with the kids. It would always be considered "just a source of income" for me too, as it my job that I commute to. My job/career is nothing more than a means to a end, money in the bank, a mortgage payment to me. That doesn't mean that I don't do the job well and all my co-workers and bosses truly believe that I love my job and love them. I don't see how a home daycare provider is any different. As long as that provider provides the services they are contracted for and treat the children fairly and with compassion (as any worker in any job is expected to do) how can we be upset for them feeling that way?