The MNSSHP is my favorite, I just have to put that out there since multiple people here are saying it wasn't worth it. (Even if you don't like the parade and fireworks, they are amazing btw, the walk on rides are even better. I could take or leave the trick or treating, but the rare characters are pretty cool, too. I think of it as a $70 fast pass for the night.)
The one thing that I thought was a waste was the keys to the kingdom tour. It was definitely a waste of time for me, because I knew most of what the tour guide had to say, and she was grating at best in her delivery. In addition it took so much time that I was exceptionally underwhelmed. I also agree with a previous poster about the frozen summer fun. Waste of money and time. There are literally a hundred better places to view the parade, and where you don't have to get shoved in a tiny area where adults aren't even allowed to sit down.
If you are looking for a budget extra, try the family magic tour (best for kids ages 5-8ish.) It's less than 30 per person, and it was a short tour that the kids will love. If you are weighing the BBB, do the pirate league instead. It has girl options, too, and is much cheaper. I would never in my life pay for the dessert party, as you can buy an assortment of snacks for a fraction of the price of admission, and you still have to fight for a spot to view the fireworks. Instead, perhaps use your fastpass to get fireworks viewing, if that is important to you. The only exception to that is the pirate and pals cruise. It includes two character meet n greets, and you get entertained through the cruise, plus snacks.
My best advice is to not over book. Do maybe one sit down meal or one event per day. That's the absolute max I would do on a first visit, or you will be overwhelmed. As far as character meals go, here's my advice. Tusker house is the better option than chef mickey's for the fab five as the food is better, and it's easier to get in (and often cheaper.) We prefer Akershus over Cindy's (but only breakfast.) That being said, Cindy's is a pretty special place to eat, if only once. Love, love, love the breakfast at 'ohana. That is lilo & stitch + some fab five, and the juice there is fabulous (and can you say stitch waffles!?)
If you need to go on a budget, don't do memory maker. Any photog will take a picture with your camera. That being said, you will not get as many photos or as interesting photos as if you did get it. I might also add that you can still get the photopass photos when you get home if you change your mind, or add them to a photo book and get that printed through Disney, without having to purchase the individual photos. That is a cheaper option, but you won't get as many.
If this were my trip, I would pick tusker house, and akershus, get memory maker, and do the family magic tour (or pirate's league,) but we don't know much about you and your family, and what would suit you best.
