went to my sons preschool for the day

[mom2princessj]

I also agree.

As for being peeved at the school for being told your child does not belong, what would you rather have happen. Have them tell you your child may need more time as it appears they are not adjusting and please try back next semester. Or get a call from the police saying your child has run away from school and finding out then that your child may have had a history of getting out of the classroom (and going to a different floor) and the school wasnt prepared to handle it but never told you.

VERY well said! I KNOW my own son is a bit immature. I'm very worried about his behavior. My teachers have assured me they can handle him (we went in for a day so they know) and we are taking it one month at a time. It is an adjustment period when they first start school. The teachers should be communicating openly with the parents to let them know how the child is doing/behaving etc. My problem with these teachers is that if it happened once ok fine but it happened REPEATEDLY and they actually lost the child I mean wouldn't you think that you'd keep a closer eye on this particular child if you know he's prone to wander??? They just don't want to deal with him...he's difficult and obviously not adjusting at this point so instead of trying a different approach OR speaking to the parents this child is endangering himself...all I can say is if these teachers don't get this child under control something bad is going to happen to him and then they'll have more problems than a difficult 3 yo on their hands.

 

[mom2princessj]

I meant that I would be peeved if another PARENT told the school they didn't think my kid belonged in the class with their kid - sorry, I just re-read it and maybe it wasn't clear. If the school told me they had concerns about my child's behavior, I'd WANT to hear it, but not what another person observed for a couple of hours one day, kwim?

I agree! Well said!

 

[MMmomto5]

a 3 yo who has no self control such as this child should not be in a classroom. i would think his mother would be aware of that. thats why there are different kinds of schools. from what i saw today this kid belongs at home or in a daycare type setting. the teachers should not be expected to chase a child around all day. they are there to teach a class.


I agree that teachers are there to teach in a structured preschool setting. However, maybe the boy does not exhibit those types of behaviors at home. Maybe there is an underlying problem that may be discovered by him attending school. We discovered that our dd had Asperger's syndrome in a structured preschool class. We knew she had sensory processing disorder, but did not know about autism because the behaviors she had at school were not the same as at home. I was grateful that the teacher made us aware of her shyness and some of the other things that concerned her. It allowed us to be proactive and have her ready to start kindergarten. Now I am not saying that this boy has any type of developmental issues, but if he does, suggesting that he would be better off in a daycare where the ratio of kids to caregivers is high, might not be the best advice. Some kids are immature and require a little more time to adjust and conform to the rules. It's only the first month of school ( in my state anyway), so I'd give the boy and the teachers a little more time.

 

[zoemurr]

and I'm not sure what I think about the bathroom thing.. did they realize you were right there and maybe thought you would wait? Our bathroom is nearby and the kids just go when they need to. Depending on the kid we will ususally go with them.

One day we did have a kid escape. We are in the basement of a church and all the kids were putting their coats on in the hallway. He was 3 and tiny, and got the basement and then the outdoor doors open. It was right at pickup time and a parent (his own if I remember correctly..) brought him back.

Honestly, if that had been my kid we would have been done.. but anyway, she stayed with us.

But my point is.. we got a motion sensor alarm on the door at the end of the hall. That way whenever someone is coming or going it goes off and we peek into the hallway. Great peace of mind for all of us.

And the disruptive child? If he is in the "least restrictive environment" (and 2 teachers to 9 kids is about the best they are going to find) he isn't going anywhere. He may get services (or he is already) but I imagine it would need to be much much worse before most schools would ask him to leave.

 

[disneyjunkie]

if they had a gate in the doorway i would take my son out. hes not a baby, and should not be treated as one. we have never used gates at home for any age children, i would be insulted if a school used one. no 4yo needs to be held into a classroom with a gate(ok well special needs maybe). it would go against everything we teach our children. 3yo dont even need that. kids need independance and should be taught how to deal in a world where it is given to them. this boy is not in the right place and his mother should be aware of that.

Wait a minute. Your son was left in a bathroom and one of his classmates escaped twice. Those things don't bother you enough to pull him from the school. However, if they put up a gate to keep the runner in the class, then you'll pull your son out.

What is wrong with the school taking the necessary steps to address the problem?

 

[imthatgirl]

Touche! You are right - they could have been having an off day and I do think it's a good idea to re-visit the school on another day. I suppose I read the initial post with the thoughts that the OP was upset (hence the angry smiley face on the thread).

I'll take it a step further then and say that perhaps the 3 year old was having a bad day too - wanting attention from other parents, or whatever. I think it a bit harsh to deem (after what I assume is one observation session) that the child is completely unsuited for the class. If the school doesn't feel he is an appropriate fit in that classroom, they should intervene - but if I were that child's mother (and this is just me), I'd be pretty peeved to have another parent tell me (or the school) where my child does and does not belong.
.

i was upset when i originally wrote it, but i said later in the post that i wasnt anymore. but i was upset when i saw the time put into that one child.

why in the world did you get the impression i said to the mother that her child didnt belong there. the mother of that child didnt bother to go to family day.

infact i did call the school today, and found out that it was that boys 2nd day there. that after today they realize it is not the appropriate place for him and they are trying to move him. to where, who knows. who cares, let him go bother someone elses class. i dont think there are any classes appropriate for him. but, he fits the age requirement, so they have to take him.

 

[ajh88]

why in the world did you get the impression i said to the mother that her child didnt belong there. the mother of that child didnt bother to go to family day.

I didn't mean to imply you said anything to the child's mother - I didn't get that impression at all. I was speaking from a hypothetical perspective and in general - not ABOUT you specifically.

And I wouldn't assume she didn't bother to go to family day - perhaps she is struggling to keep a job that won't let her have time off for family day.

Hopefully the 3 year old gets into an environment that is conducive to his learning.

 

[imthatgirl]

What 3 yo has ALOT of self control?
I have a 3 yo who is just going to be starting preschool in a CLASSROOM setting. He is a bit immature for his age but I've talked with MANY preschool teachers and ALL of them say in order to correct this behavior the child NEEDS to be in the classroom to learn. I think its the teachers fault. Im very strict with both of my children. My daughter goes to the very same school and she's an angel. Boys tend to mature later than girls. Just because your 4yo is great and needs not as much attention doesn't mean this 3 yo should sit home or go to 'daycare' because he's a bit more immature. It's the teachers job to teach the children and if we all know anything from parenting its that EACH child is different and learns differently. Obviously they aren't communicating with the parents or the parental situation is less than stellar. But I find it more than a little offensive that you'd like to just pass this child off at a 'daycare' so your child can learn more. Good for you that you have a calm, mature boy. I wish I did but unfortunately boys tend to be a handfull and MOST of them don't have the attention span (right from my pediatrician's mouth) to sit still for activities and learning at 3. But as my ped also told me don't hold them out because of it. They will learn the routine and adjust and most of the time these are the children that show the greatest improvement by the end of the year.
If it was my child/ren and this was going on at my preschool there is NO QUESTION I'd have an issue with it and if I wasn't confident my teachers could handle my immature 3 yo boy I wouldn't even send him there in the first place. But having gone through an entire year of preschool last year with my daughter there are all kinds of children and they all are learning at different paces and are motivated differently. There is a PROBLEM in this school...the problem isn't necessarily with the immature 3yo its the teachers that can't keep track of their children. There is NO EXCUSE for a child to wander out of a classroom....doesn't matter what type of child, how mature, ect.

youre absolutely right, not all 3yo are mature enough for a classroom. if they arent, they shouldnt go to preschool. wait till they are mature enough. if a parent doesnt want them at home, send them to the appropriate place, like a daycare. dont send them to place where they will be nothing but disruptive. its not good for the child either. i dont understand the rush to make our kids grow up. theres plenty of time for school. send the kid next year. i would never and have never sent a 3yo to preschool, they arent ready, well mine werent. why push them?
i never said my son was calm or mature . hes your typical rambuncious 4yo boy. but he is old enough to understand class rules and follow them the best a 4yo can. this boy couldnt.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

Sorry what I meant to say was Kindergartners are walked to the bathrooms. The older grades walk themselves. Truthfully, I like the measures our public schools go to protect our kids. My kids don't attend public school anymore though - in fact, now they are homeschooled.

 

[imthatgirl]

I didn't mean to imply you said anything to the child's mother - I didn't get that impression at all. I was speaking from a hypothetical perspective and in general - not ABOUT you specifically.

And I wouldn't assume she didn't bother to go to family day - perhaps she is struggling to keep a job that won't let her have time off for family day.

Hopefully the 3 year old gets into an environment that is conducive to his learning.

the class is 2 hours and 15 minutes long. she dropped him off and picked up. not sure what kind of job yu could do in that time.
i hate to judge people. but it was sad that of the 9 kids only 2 of us stayed. i think thats horrible being that i saw all of them there to pick there kids up after class. AND siblings were welcome.

 

[ajh88]

the class is 2 hours and 15 minutes long. she dropped him off and picked up. not sure what kind of job yu could do in that time.
i hate to judge people. but it was sad that of the 9 kids only 2 of us stayed. i think thats horrible being that i saw all of them there to pick there kids up after class. AND siblings were welcome.

It is sad that people wouldn't take more time to see what's going on with their kids at school. I know sometimes there are obligations that preclude you from being at certain events, but it is dis-heartening to feel people don't care nonetheless.

Ah well, at least your son has a parent who is involved and hopefully the other boy ends up somewhere that is good for him.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

infact i did call the school today, and found out that it was that boys 2nd day there. that after today they realize it is not the appropriate place for him and they are trying to move him. to where, who knows. who cares, let him go bother someone elses class. i dont think there are any classes appropriate for him. but, he fits the age requirement, so they have to take him.

The fact that whomever you spoke with at the school, found it appropriate to discuss this child with you, makes me think even less of the school. How are you going to feel if/when someone calls about your kid, and has a nice chat with the staff?

If this were me, my kid would never see the inside of that building again. I have a hard time believing this school is able to keep their license.

 

[RitaE]

Is this a Public School District class?



And I'm sorry but very few 3 year old children are ready for a classroom setting. That is what preschool is all about, making them ready for a classroom setting. That is WHY they have student teacher ratios of 9 kids and 2 teachers.

You may think your child will choose to return to the classroom next time they leave him unattended in the restroom. I hope so....because I know an awful lot of 3 and 4 year olds who prefer the playground.

 

[disneyjunkie]

i was upset when i originally wrote it, but i said later in the post that i wasnt anymore. but i was upset when i saw the time put into that one child.

why in the world did you get the impression i said to the mother that her child didnt belong there. the mother of that child didnt bother to go to family day.

infact i did call the school today, and found out that it was that boys 2nd day there. that after today they realize it is not the appropriate place for him and they are trying to move him. to where, who knows. who cares, let him go bother someone elses class. i dont think there are any classes appropriate for him. but, he fits the age requirement, so they have to take him.

Maybe the mother didn't "bother" to go to family day because she had to work.

This is my 16th year teaching. I find it hard to believe that a staff member would share that type of information with you.

One day your child may be the one bothering the class. Your child may be the one the other parents complain/gossip about.

I can't believe the attitude you're expressing toward a 3 year old kid.:sad2

 

[nemomama]

Maybe the mother didn't "bother" to go to family day because she had to work.

This is my 16th year teaching. I find it hard to believe that a staff member would share that type of information with you.

One day your child may be the one bothering the class. Your child may be the one the other parents complain/gossip about.

I can't believe the attitude you're expressing toward a 3 year old kid.:sad2

I completely agree with you. And I also cannot believe a staff member would share that information with you.

I am sorry, but this just doesn't seem like a very good preschool to me.

 

[ERMama]

i agree, sad in a few ways. i can only hope the school was as open with the childs actual parent as they were with you.
i feel sorry for the kid, only his second day at a preschool and the staff doesnt care and doesnt want to help him. sad for the other parent who thought she was sending him to a good preschool. sad that another parent can be so thoughtless and lacking of empathy.

as for parents not being there, sometimes its just not possible. just because they didnt show up for family day doesnt mean they arent involved with their child and their education.

as for the original post, why would you have had an issue with the preschool, obviously its a great fit for you. heartless for anyone else but yourself and YOUR kid.

 

[imthatgirl]

The fact that whomever you spoke with at the school, found it appropriate to discuss this child with you, makes me think even less of the school. How are you going to feel if/when someone calls about your kid, and has a nice chat with the staff?

If this were me, my kid would never see the inside of that building again. I have a hard time believing this school is able to keep their license.

why is that sad? i had a concern that this child was taking away from everyone elses time and she said it was his second day and he was placed wrong and wont be there anymore. i dont see how she "discussed" anything with me that i didnt already know from sitting in the class. a monkey could see he was in the wrong place.

 

[mombare]

This is a pretty amazing post with lots of people making assumptions about lots of other people...seemingly without really knowing the entire situation. I think we all want what is best for our children - that being said, the OP has right to expect her child to get attention, especially if she is paying for the preschool. But I believe that there will always be children who need most of the attention (for a variety of reasons). My first assumption when I read the OP about the 3 year old that bolted several times was that he has special needs - does that mean he should not be allowed to be in a SMALL classroom setting, absolutely not. He has just as much of a right to be there as any other child, and it is important for our children to be around special needs kids to learn about their uniqueness and be compassionate. Does that mean my child will not get as much attention as the others? Yes, but I would be thankful she doesn't need as much attention.
My daughter went to a private preschool for 2 years with kids her same age (18 children, 2 teachers). She switched to public schools (18 children, 2 teachers) and there were 3 and 4 year olds in her class. She turned 5 a month into school. I was very concerned about this at first, but preschool is just as much about building social skills as it is about learning your abc's. She had a couple of kids that had special needs in her class - yes, they took up most of the teachers' time and while I was vising there were some not so pleasant moments. Does that mean they don't belong...NO.
Our public preschool was in the same building as high schoolers, doors were wide open and we simply walked in to pick up our kids. It was such a wonderful experience that I chose to join the board that governs it.

 

[imthatgirl]

Is this a Public School District class?



And I'm sorry but very few 3 year old children are ready for a classroom setting. That is what preschool is all about, making them ready for a classroom setting. That is WHY they have student teacher ratios of 9 kids and 2 teachers.

You may think your child will choose to return to the classroom next time they leave him unattended in the restroom. I hope so....because I know an awful lot of 3 and 4 year olds who prefer the playground.

i know my child well. i would think any parent would know how their child would react. and no, most 3 yo are not ready for a classroom environment. just because parents want them to be ready at 3, doesnt mean they are. kids who arent ready should wait till they are 4. there are 0 reasons to send a child at 3. children do not have to enter school until kindergarten, and even that isnt required in many states.

 

[imthatgirl]

Maybe the mother didn't "bother" to go to family day because she had to work.

This is my 16th year teaching. I find it hard to believe that a staff member would share that type of information with you.

One day your child may be the one bothering the class. Your child may be the one the other parents complain/gossip about.

I can't believe the attitude you're expressing toward a 3 year old kid.:sad2

im sorry but try to keep up...it is a 2 hour and 15 minute class. unless shes the crossing guard there arent too many jobs she could do in that time.

i would never put my 3yo in a place he didnt belong. i dont have an "attitude" towards the child. i dont know the child. he didnt belong there, period.