Wedding thank-yous:Is this the new normal?

[mjkacmom]

We got one of those from a family member, and I thought it was a little tacky, and actually brought it up here, and was told by many that I'm too picky.

BTW, this same person sent out a mass letter to family and friends, letting them know her due date, and where she was registered. She mentioned that she wasn't having a shower until after the baby was born, and it would only be for close family and friends (most of us live far away), but we don't have to wait until the baby is born to send a gift, because they're getting things ready now.

The couple are in their 30's. I guess I'm still picky.

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't mind a picture card...actually I think that's kind of nice. I'm actually looking at a picture thank you card from a wedding we attended a few eeks ago and it's a lovely photo of the bride & groom with a beautiful sun setting over the lake behind them. It was a nice wedding and a lovely reception.

I even don't mind the computer-generated mailing label because hey, we have computers now so why not use them to make life a little easier and it's easy to do a mail merge to print those labels, especially since I'm sure they had a wedding guest list with addresses from when they sent out invitations.

But the card should have a hand-written sentiment in it. And it should consist of more than "Thank you for coming to our wedding".

So, 1/3 tacky IMHO.

 

[jujube]

We got one of those from a family member, and I thought it was a little tacky, and actually brought it up here, and was told by many that I'm too picky.

BTW, this same person sent out a mass letter to family and friends, letting them know her due date, and where she was registered. She mentioned that she wasn't having a shower until after the baby was born, and it would only be for close family and friends (most of us live far away), but we don't have to wait until the baby is born to send a gift, because they're getting things ready now.

The couple are in their 30's. I guess I'm still picky.

A new level for tacky behavior, did you send a gift? I don't know if I could have.

 

[Coconut36]

Yes I think it is the new norm..can't say I am a fan. It's really doesn't require that much effort to write a personal thank you note to someone. My nieces got married within a year of each other and we got picture thank you cards from both.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I would actually like receiving a photo as opposed to a plain note card, but I think she should have at least signed them.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I have never seen this before. I think she's a dud. Lots of people do those preprinted cards but add their own sentiments. She's lazy and/or uneducated.

It is in poor taste for sure.

Both the Bride & Groom are responsible for the thank yous that are sent out.

 

[S. C.]

Wouldn't bother me!

 

[Debbie7452]

I think if it doesn't feel personal than it's NOT personal. Would the bride have been pleased if you had sent a photo card of several nice gifts instead of a real one? Haha, probably not!

 

[monorailsilver]

It would partially bother me.

The picture I am fine with because she had to take the time to upload it & make sure they all fit (I hate that about photo cards). But not even a drop of ink touched the card??? That I have a problem with.

Even if they just signed their name that would be so much better.

OT-I have been married for 12 years & I started doing my TY cards before my wedding. As soon as I got a response back, I wrote out the envelope.

We had a day wedding (my choice since we were flying out early the next day) so we were able to open up all our cards/gifts. I had a print out of all the guests & next to each name I wrote what they gave us. My mom needed to know one gift because she had a wedding the following week & didn't want to give too much if they didn't give too much.

My thank you cards arrived before we came back from our honeymoon. I wrote them all on the flight out to Hawaii (from CT=long flight) & mailed them from Honolulu.

It just takes some pre planning & it actually made that long flight go by quickly.

 

[kimmar067]

Sounds like you raised your son right.

....hey, pssssst......

 

[Pigeon]

I think if it doesn't feel personal than it's NOT personal. Would the bride have been pleased if you had sent a photo card of several nice gifts instead of a real one? Haha, probably not!

 

[Lionqueen2]

At least the bride sent a card. Our friends' son got married a couple of years ago. They are really nice folks and we gave their son and his bride a good amount of money for a wedding gift. So far, the bride just hasn't found time to get those thank you cards out.

I think the thank you card with the photos would have been nice if it had a personal note thanking each person for their gift and coming to the wedding.

 

[Claudia1]

Photo cards can be very nice but a handwritten note is customary, even if is is just "Thank You" with their names.

Using technology to help is one thing, using it to replace personal gratitude is another.

 

[tzolkin]

I think any response is better than no response.

I have been to weddings and never received a Thank you at all.

At least she made an acknowledgement.

It bugs me when people can't be bothered with a Thank you note.

So rude.

I agree.

Of course I would write something personalized (and insist my kids do the same), but honestly I could count on one hand the number of thank you cards/notes I have received in my adult life.

I actually handed my SIL a thank you note a few days after they gave me a gift for my for my 30th birthday. She looked at the envelope and asked "What's this?" When I replied that it was a thank you note she actually said "Oh, I thought those went out of style. Nobody writes thank you notes anymore". I just replied "Well I guess I'm just old-fashioned" but I really should have said that explained why she never thanked me for throwing her both a bridal and baby shower plus giving gifts for both occasions.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Sounds fine to me. I don't keep track of thank-yous or how they come. I like the idea of the photos too!

 

[Andtototoo]

At least the bride sent a card. Our friends' son got married a couple of years ago. They are really nice folks and we gave their son and his bride a good amount of money for a wedding gift. So far, the bride just hasn't found time to get those thank you cards out.

Is the son in a coma? Otherwise, why is he incapable of writing thank you notes?

 

[littleteapot]

Sounds fine to me. I don't keep track of thank-yous or how they come. I like the idea of the photos too!

I like photos too, I have a fridge full of them. I generally only get invited to close friends or relative's weddings. I almost always give $, so a general thank you is lovely. The world is changing, I'm fine with that.

 

[luvsJack]

I would love to get the picture card and wouldn't be upset about no handwritten note. The more we depend on technology the less we will see of handwritten notes.

Doesn't make it rude, just makes it different than was done in the past. Times change.

I would much rather see the bride spend her money on pictures cards that can be a keepsake than on formal thank you cards that will just get tossed.

 

[LisaRay]

I'm going to have to agree with those have said at least you got a Thank You!
My DD who is 22 has been to and given gifts at 4 weddings in the last year and has not recieved one thank you yet for any of them. And most of these were very nice weddings for this small town area.
It's pretty bad when my 21/22 year old college student thinks something is tacky because she doesn't have a ton of experience with weddings and gift giving yet.