wedding gifts

[kimblebee]

Thank you

 

[Gumbo4x4]

$25, $50 if you're a close relative.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Sounds lovely. Congratulations.

Ditto, and best of luck on the health concerns!!

 

[Amelia Peabody]

My nephew (very close) is getting married tomorrow. I wish I could afford to give them $200 but it's just me and I am REALLY strapped for cash. Since they have come home to get married, they, to quote the bride, "don't want to take pots and pans back to California on the plane". LOL What is nice is their photographer will take gift money and make up a gift certificate for them to spend on their photos.

I went to a wedding earlier this month for a couple from church. My dad and I gave $100 from the two of us (not that Dad coughed up his share, but he gets a pass since he's 89). My sister thought that was too much but I felt it was correct.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

If invited but we can't attend the wedding: $50-75. If attending: $100

Kimblebee, your wedding sounds lovely. Congratulations!

 

[Darcy03231]

I'm getting married in December and if people give us $50 I will be very happy. We are having a lunch time wedding in a hall with a JP and 40 of our closest friends and family and will be serving sandwiches and cheeses, meats, pickles, dainties, etc.

I can almost hear the pearl clutching going on right now. Given my health concerns and our finances, this is what we can afford and what will cause the least stress. If you think this is tacky, you wouldn't be invited in the first place.

I think your wedding sounds just lovely. Congratulations and have a fantastic day!

 

[Disney Doll]

Depends on my relationship with the bridal couple. At least $200 for DH & I. More if it's family or very close friends.

We live in an expensive area and that is what I feel is the right thing to do.

 

[emer95]

I'm happy to see this thread, because I was going to ask the same question. We have six weddings this year. SIX! Our refrigerator is covered in Save-the-Dates. Also two graduations and three first communions. I'm considering giving $50 for the first communions, $75 for the graduations, and $150 for the weddings.

I asked this question at work and unwittingly caused a big fight. One woman I work with feels strongly that you should "cover your plate," and she gives more money at a fancy one than a simpler one. I disagree with that, and so did a very vocal woman at the table. The two of them got into it and things got pretty heated. Yikes! Sorry I asked!

We're going to give what we can afford to each couple. I love weddings and I'm honored to be invited, even if 6 in one year is going to pinch the wallet a little bit.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I'm happy to see this thread, because I was going to ask the same question. We have six weddings this year. SIX! Our refrigerator is covered in Save-the-Dates. Also two graduations and three first communions. I'm considering giving $50 for the first communions, $75 for the graduations, and $150 for the weddings.

I asked this question at work and unwittingly caused a big fight. One woman I work with feels strongly that you should "cover your plate," and she gives more money at a fancy one than a simpler one. I disagree with that, and so did a very vocal woman at the table. The two of them got into it and things got pretty heated. Yikes! Sorry I asked!

We're going to give what we can afford to each couple. I love weddings and I'm honored to be invited, even if 6 in one year is going to pinch the wallet a little bit.

I've never been to a wedding where I had any idea how fancy it would or wouldn't be in advance, except for my own of course. I can just picture someone getting to a reception and at the last minute adjusting the cash they have in the card because the settings are nicer than anticipated or the chicken is dry

 

[MrsDuck]

I wish you were all guests at my wedding!

We got mostly gifts off of our registry but would open a card with a check enclosed for $50-100.

I cannot personally say as we've not been to a wedding where I was in charge of gift giving.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wish you were all guests at my wedding!

We got mostly gifts off of our registry but would open a card with a check enclosed for $50-100.

I cannot personally say as we've not been to a wedding where I was in charge of gift giving.

That is how it varies regionally- here you never give a wedding gift off the registry-the registry is for the shower- weddings are strictly a cash/check gift-it would be odd getting a wedding gift that wasn't in an envelope.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

That is how it varies regionally- here you never give a wedding gift off the registry-the registry is for the shower- weddings are strictly a cash/check gift-it would be odd getting a wedding gift that wasn't in an envelope.

I kind of like that, 'cause let's face it, the gifts on the registry are not for the couple. They're for the BRIDE

 

[AnnaS]

It's really isn't cover your plate - it's just what the majority give here. Most will give a $25 gift for a child's birthday, $100 for a Baptism or First Communion, $300 for a wedding. I also gave $200 to my friend's dd for her Bat Mitzvah (and we're Catholic).

It seems like most people have a certain idea of what they will give in any gift-giving occassion. Depending upon region, these amounts will be different - I don't know why anyone gets insulted that we're really quite generous in the NYC area. Keep in mind, the average salary here is also a lot higher than other areas. With the COL, $300 here does not equal $300 in other areas.

I don't think there are any right or wrong amounts. I know brides and grooms here DON'T care what anyone gives them. I'm sure it's the same with couples around the country.

I agree.

$300-$400

 

[ilovepcot]

Still can't give money as a wedding gift in the area of NC where I live. Money is considered in poor taste. I'd have been delighted to have received it myself but my mom would have fainted.

 

[LBIJim]

I've never been to a wedding where I had any idea how fancy it would or wouldn't be in advance, except for my own of course. I can just picture someone getting to a reception and at the last minute adjusting the cash they have in the card because the settings are nicer than anticipated or the chicken is dry

My father in law did exactly that. For every wedding. I suppose he had a set standard amount of money to give, then would adjust it up or down based on 1001 different factors. Yep, the food was delicious or mediocre, he was seated at a good/bad table, open bar vs. buy your own, music to his liking or too loud, etc. etc. etc.

I saw my own father putting cash into a card at a wedding reception when I was a kid. He may have been the same way for all I know. He died when I was a young teen so I never knew if this was a pattern.

Many times you can tell how fancy the reception will be based on the venue. I'd expect the Plaza Hotel in NYC to be more elaborate than the local Moose Lodge.

The choice of venue wouldn't influence my gift. I'd go from a low of $50 per person for someone like the children of friends to $100 pp for cousin's kids and maybe up to $200 pp for closer relationships.

Jim

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My father in law did exactly that. For every wedding. I suppose he had a set standard amount of money to give, then would adjust it up or down based on 1001 different factors. Yep, the food was delicious or mediocre, he was seated at a good/bad table, open bar vs. buy your own, music to his liking or too loud, etc. etc. etc.

Too funny, he treated it like he was giving a review

I saw my own father putting cash into a card at a wedding reception when I was a kid. He may have been the same way for all I know. He died when I was a young teen so I never knew if this was a pattern.

Many times you can tell how fancy the reception will be based on the venue. I'd expect the Plaza Hotel in NYC to be more elaborate than the local Moose Lodge.

The choice of venue wouldn't influence my gift. I'd go from a low of $50 per person for someone like the children of friends to $100 pp for cousin's kids and maybe up to $200 pp for closer relationships.

Jim

I'm sure some venues would be obvious, but then again it's not always indicative of money spent on everything else. Most recent reception I attended was at a very nice place, but they also had a cash bar & a very simple meal - salad, one vegetable, twice baked potato, grilled chicken. That's it, nothing else. OTOH, I've been to some that were in the Moose Lodge, but had great food AND an open bar. So, it's a lot to calculate Plus, in all my 46 years, I can't recall a single time I've been to a reception in the same place as another reception I've attended. And that's from a guy who lives outside a town of 13,000 people

So, I definitely prefer your plan of choosing the amount based on the relationship, not the venue

 

[cayennews]

$200 unless it is a very close friend, then $250-$300.

 

[cbg1027]

I adjust the amount depending on how close we are to the couple, but usually we give $100, or a $100ish item from their registry.

My husband and I just got married in November and the majority of our guests gave $100-300.

 

[SamRoc]

My nephew got married over the weekend (first nephew on dh's side) and we gave $1000 for 5 of us attending.

 

[aprilgail2]

My father in law did exactly that. For every wedding. I suppose he had a set standard amount of money to give, then would adjust it up or down based on 1001 different factors. Yep, the food was delicious or mediocre, he was seated at a good/bad table, open bar vs. buy your own, music to his liking or too loud, etc. etc. etc.

I saw my own father putting cash into a card at a wedding reception when I was a kid. He may have been the same way for all I know. He died when I was a young teen so I never knew if this was a pattern.

Only time I took money out of the envelope was the one time I went to a wedding and they had a cash bar! That is pretty much unheard of here, people were so caught off guard they were scrambling opening up envelopes to get some cash out so they had money to get a drink. I never carry cash to a wedding other than enough to tip the valet parking because I don't want to carry anything and wedding clothes have no pockets LOL.