Wedding attendance question *UPDATED*

[MSLRAC]

Yes DJ and dancing, must be over before 8p. (they are doing most of pics before wedding) so reception will start very soon after ceremony (same location)

Our menu is

pulled pork sliders
fried chicken tenders
mini crab cakes
mini chicken salad croissants
mashed potato bar with toppings
fruit and cheese platters
cheese ring and crackers
spinach dip
variety canapés
pasta salad
dessert and candy table

What else do you think I need? or just bump up to 150- 175 with these items?

I would bump your numbers up to at least 180-190 and/or ask about adding more food. Every wedding that we have ever been to during that time frame served a full meal because the reception is during dinner time. You're going to end up with people expecting a full meal and trying to fill up on what you have.

 

[jcnewton]

I'd say 45% showed to ours. But then again we got married at Disney with most people invited from Indiana/Ohio. We still
Overestimated by a few as far as food goes because you just never know what will happen or who will show up regardless of RSVP's. What surprised me most was how many people just didn't send their RSVP cards back so we had to double check with all of them.

 

[Art 1]

I can't imagine planning a wedding or any event with that many people and not sending out RSVP's. It's crazy.

 

[minnie mum]

I agree with the PPs that RSVPs should have been sent with the invitations, even if it was only a request for an email reply. And I do think that you either need to do a mass email rsvp or get on the phone or both to nail down the head count.

AND you need to talk to your caterer. With a reception at that time of day plus a DJ, people are going to want a meal. Or theyll leave as soon as politely possible. When caterers calculate for hors d'oeuvres they use a much different formula than when calculating for a buffet. I'd pump up the volume on both the number of foods offered and the amount of each.

 

[kacaju]

About what percentage of your invited guests actually came to the wedding? I am starting to freak out a bit. We have food ordered (not a sit down dinner, but heavy hor'dourves) for 125. I did a head count, and its at 190 (groom invited about 20 more people from his work ). I don't want to run out of food, but also don't want to be stuck w/tons of food left over.

Probably about 50 or more of the guests (from grooms side) live out of town, about a 4 hour drive, they hardly see each other, so I don't know if a lot of them will come. Plus, I know this sounds crazy, but here in AL people love football, and DH thinks some people won't come because they will be at a game (or watching a game) Should I be worried?

Ok.. Wedding is in a month.....find out what local team(s)are playing and are they home or away? If home you may get less people if they all have tickets for home games..(assuming all these people your dh thinks won't come because they will go to or watch the game) and what time is the game? If it is an early game...they may all be coming after the game..... Late game?? they may come before the game. I would, as others have suggested...start making some calls and see just how many ARE planning on coming and ask the grooms family to do the same.

 

[cluvsdisney]

Yes DJ and dancing, must be over before 8p. (they are doing most of pics before wedding) so reception will start very soon after ceremony (same location)

Our menu is

pulled pork sliders
fried chicken tenders
mini crab cakes
mini chicken salad croissants
mashed potato bar with toppings
fruit and cheese platters
cheese ring and crackers
spinach dip
variety canapés
pasta salad
dessert and candy table

What else do you think I need? or just bump up to 150- 175 with these items?

I would add a carving satiation...sliced steak, ham, turkey or if you want to keep it more finger food maybe shish kabobs (chicken, meat, veggie) or something similar that is not too carby or fried and feels more meal like. I thinks a casual menu is fine for dinner but I think some variety within the food groups is important.

As far as our guest list settled out...we invited 180 people, 128 said yes, 2 people were a no show.

 

[powellrj]

I think at the time you are having it people are going to be expecting some sort of meal. If the wedding is pretty casual, I would add something like fried chicken, sliced ham or trays of baked pasta. It wouldn't be that much more expensive and would be more of a meal.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I would definitely count on more than 125 showing up.

Also, given the time of day, what a cater considers "enough" for a given number will most likely not be enough for actual demand. People will be hungry, and will most likely be eating more than their "allotted" amount of food.

I would put the head count at 170, then consider adding a pasta station and/or salad station.

 

[sk!mom]

Count me another who thinks that since the reception is at dinner time people will eat as if it's dinner. I would recommend speaking with the caterer to see how they plan. I would bump up the number for sure. Adding more food choices is whatever you want but you want plenty or people will be hungry and make early exits.

 

[okeydokey]

I would totally plan on ordering more food. Any leftovers can be used to feed the family after, as they will reheat well, if you are able yo take food home. It's always better to have too much than not enough.

 

[Snoozan]

I would most definitely bump up the amount of food. I went to a wedding that did what you are planning and we all remember that wedding as we all went home starving - not a good thing to be remembered for! People will be expecting a meal at that time of day and will want to eat as if it's a meal, not a snack. It's a reality and not meant to sound harsh.

 

[Happy Snowman]

I'll agree with everyone else that RSVP's should have been included--people are probably wondering if their RSVP card got misplaced!!

The food, you have to plan it as a meal, not appetizers, thus, more food is needed. We were just at a wedding that had a cocktail hour with appetizers and most people took a few and then we had dinner. If the appetizers are the ONLY food, people will fill their plates.

We invited 200 and had 200 show....but it wasn't football season....

 

[LisaR]

Did you note in the invitations that there would only be appetizers?

I hate to harp on the RSVP thing, but that was not the best move. While they aren't 100% accurate, they will at least give you a ballpark. It would be different if you were having a party for a small number of people, but with that many guests, I really think you need to put out an email, text, or phone calls and plan on increasing the food.

 

[design_mom]

I think politely telephoning your invited guests and asking for an RSVP would be acceptable and would make your ordering a lot easier.

At our wedding, I think we invited 120 and 109 attended. But we really only invited family and friends we knew were available. My sister's wedding was held on a football-season Saturday and she had a few fewer people show up, but still in the 80-90% range. (There were people who complained about missing the game, so she had the DJ at the reception give score updates between songs.)

I think I would definitely order more food -- and I agree that if the event is 4-8pm, people are going to be expecting dinner or enough hors d'ourves to substitute as dinner, unless you specifically specified that there won't be dinner.

 

[Peachkins]

I agree with the PPs that RSVPs should have been sent with the invitations, even if it was only a request for an email reply. And I do think that you either need to do a mass email rsvp or get on the phone or both to nail down the head count.

AND you need to talk to your caterer. With a reception at that time of day plus a DJ, people are going to want a meal. Or theyll leave as soon as politely possible. When caterers calculate for hors d'oeuvres they use a much different formula than when calculating for a buffet. I'd pump up the volume on both the number of foods offered and the amount of each.

I agree with all of this. You need to find out how many people will be there, or you need to assume they're all going to show up. I would also assume that people are going to treat this like dinner- at that hour I know I would.

 

[arminnie]

Also - how does your caterer figure food per person?

For my parent's 50th anniversary party we ordered for 200 people. We had at least 250 that attended. It was an open invitation to the entire church and everyone they had ever known.

But we still had probably twice as much food as needed. We took home enough leftovers to have had another whole party. I think the caterer must have figured at least 20 pieces per person. And we had very heavy hors d'oeuvres. Shrimp, ham, carved roast beef, etc.

That party (no liquor) cost twice as much as the dinner for family only (120 people) that included an open bar and a band.

 

[diznygirl]

I would most definitely bump up the amount of food. I went to a wedding that did what you are planning and we all remember that wedding as we all went home starving - not a good thing to be remembered for! People will be expecting a meal at that time of day and will want to eat as if it's a meal, not a snack. It's a reality and not meant to sound harsh.

The wedding with the two meatball limit?

We all stopped at Olive Garden on the way home. The stuff of legend.

OP - you don't want to be that wedding.

 

[Disney Doll]

You need to call invited guests and see if they plan on coming.

Or you need to order more food so that you can adequately feed 190 people at dinner time.

And you need to tell the groom to stop inviting people. I'm curious as to how he is doing this. Is he sending invites or just walking up to people and saying "hey want to come to my wedding?".

 

[aprilgail2]

Yes DJ and dancing, must be over before 8p. (they are doing most of pics before wedding) so reception will start very soon after ceremony (same location)

Our menu is

pulled pork sliders
fried chicken tenders
mini crab cakes
mini chicken salad croissants
mashed potato bar with toppings
fruit and cheese platters
cheese ring and crackers
spinach dip
variety canapés
pasta salad
dessert and candy table

What else do you think I need? or just bump up to 150- 175 with these items?

You are having it at dinner time and only serving appetizers- people are going to need to eat the appetizers like they are a dinner so there is no way that would be enough food.

I can't imagine planning a wedding or any event with that many people and not sending out RSVP's. It's crazy.

I would add a carving satiation...sliced steak, ham, turkey or if you want to keep it more finger food maybe shish kabobs (chicken, meat, veggie) or something similar that is not too carby or fried and feels more meal like. I thinks a casual menu is fine for dinner but I think some variety within the food groups is important.
.

I agree- she at least needs to add a carving station- to many appetizers and not enough "dinner"

 

[NewRVLady]

Yes DJ and dancing, must be over before 8p. (they are doing most of pics before wedding) so reception will start very soon after ceremony (same location)

Our menu is

pulled pork sliders
fried chicken tenders
mini crab cakes
mini chicken salad croissants
mashed potato bar with toppings
fruit and cheese platters
cheese ring and crackers
spinach dip
variety canapés
pasta salad
dessert and candy table

What else do you think I need? or just bump up to 150- 175 with these items?

This is similar to ALL weddings here, in the South

However-I would had a whole ham, sliced and maybe a brisket, sliced with mini buns, mayo, mustard-this would give more hearty meal type food