Chapter 9: Why Don’t You Make Like A Tree…And Get Outta Here.
Now where was I?
Oh, right. We’d just finished an early lunch at Be Our Guest. Or, as my buddy and I like to call it, See My Vest (after the great Simpsons spoof of that song). If you’ve been keeping track, you know that we’ve only used 2 FastPasses so far, so we have one left in the Magic Kingdom. If you know us, you know that there can only be one possible choice for our last ride of the day before we leave for good.
What? No, not that one. Splash Mountain isn’t our favorite. I just stopped to get a photo. Maybe this will give you a hint:
That’s more like it. We needed to finish the MK at Big Thunder Mountain. As far as Julie and I were concerned, it was an easy call. I don’t know if I like it better during the day or at night. I think future trips will just have to include at least one ride at each time in a never-ending study of the effects.
Time was running short now. It was just after 1:00 p.m. and we had to be back at the Polynesian by 3:30 to catch the DUD. We started heading for the exit.
Along the way, we made a last stop at the Emporium on Main St. for some final souvenirs and peace offerings for the kids. Also, we still weren’t sure if Disney was going to finish in the red for the year and wanted to make sure they stayed open for all of you to be able to visit later on. You’re welcome.
We got on the monorail and headed for our final destination. We had one last goal to accomplish on this getaway—one more experience that we needed to share together. One that neither of us had ever experienced before.
Know what it is yet?
Here’s a hint: we were back at Epcot.
That doesn’t narrow it down? Man, you guys are impossible to please. Well, we didn’t have any FP’s. So we weren’t optimistic about doing any rides. We did have a couple of other items to shop for, and we took care of those. But the primary reason we were here was to experience the Holy of Holies.
No, not a Dole Whip Float. The other Holy of Holies.
Neither one of us had ever had a cronut before. So we remedied that.
I mean, just look at this. Isn’t it the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen?
Hang on, my wife’s beauty is probably too distracting. Here, isn’t this the second-most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen?
It tastes about twenty times as good as it looks. Sugary deep-fried heaven on a paper plate. As I’m fond of saying, I’m sure it took 3 years off my life, but that probably would have been 3 years in a nursing home anyway, so that makes it ok.
Upon eating that, we didn’t want to leave. So we stalled.
Julie took a panoramic of the World Showcase.
I took a photo of the monorail.
We hung out and looked at the tree and listened to Christmas music.
We did this for as long as we could until we finally had to admit that we needed to get back to the Poly. It’s always a sad moment when you realize there is no more fun to be had. Or rather, there is plenty of fun to be had, and other people will now be having it instead of you. We trudged back to the entrance, stalling once more when we spotted a Photopass worker.
Mostly we were trying to prolong our stay on Disney property as long as we possibly could. The symptoms of
DDP* were now in full bloom.
*--Disney Departure Procrastination
We trudged out of the park and up the monorail ramp. We trudged onto the monorail. Then we sat and enjoyed one last ride on the Highway In The Sky before trudging out into the TTC and trudging over to the Poly. We collected our bags from the Bell Services desk (in a trudging fashion, I’m sure) and then trudged over to the bench to wait for the DUD. The Fantastical Adults-Only Weekend Getaway was finally over. It was time to re-enter the Real World.
As we boarded the bus and drove off, Julie was holding back tears. Mostly because she didn’t want to have to take care of the kids again.
I’m just kidding! We were both downbeat, for a host of reasons. Our getaway had gone by in a flash, and neither of us knew if we’d get the chance to do this again—certainly not for a long time. It had been wonderful, refreshing, and a chance to renew our relationship together as adults, able to make each other the only priority for those few valuable days. Now we were going back to the world of responsibilities—work, kids, in-laws, bills, home maintenance…responsibilities that can bring great joy, of course, but also great stress. You have to take a deep breath before diving back in.
This is, of course, why we love Disney World and keep coming back. Yes, it’s expensive, and yes, they can irritate us from time to time when they put the almighty dollar ahead of the average family. But when you’re there, inside the gates, you get to leave all of those responsibilities behind. It’s a true escape. For the most part, everything works the way it should. For the most part, everything is designed for maximum enjoyment. For the most part, you can leave your troubles behind, indulge your imagination, and live with a sense of adventure and anticipation with only one question on your mind: “What happens next?”
If only the rest of life was like that. I think we were mostly just sad that the moment was over, and that we weren’t sure when we’d be back. But we were also glad, and grateful that we had the chance to escape together, even for just a few days. It always goes by too quickly. Always.
We re-entered the Real World much sooner than we’d anticipated.
Orlando International Airport has never had a great security system. I’ve encountered numerous backups while waiting to do the TSA Tango there. But this one takes the cake.
When you go through the main lobby to the security gate, there is an A side and a B side. The A side serves some airlines, and the B side serves the rest. We were flying Southwest, so we were on the A side. There is a large distance separating the two sides, and that distance makes up most of the main terminal building.
The security line looked fairly crowded, but like I said, that’s pretty normal in Orlando. We moved to the far right of the A side since that line appeared a little shorter and was moving more quickly than some of the other lines.
We got through the ID check fairly easily. Then we were shuttled into a line that wrapped around a wall and sent us down to the right. The line appeared to keep going…and going…and going…
…all the way down to the B side of the terminal.
It didn’t just appear that way. It did, in fact, go all the way to the B side. And then, it went nuts. Once we reached the B side, we were combined with all of the passengers heading to flights on the B side. This helpful sign provided direction:
It was like going to the grocery store and getting in the Express checkout lane, only to be told you needed to get in one line behind everyone else with a full cart--oh, and the line extends around the entire building. So, not only did we spend all of that time walking down here to the complete opposite end of the airport from where our flight was supposed to be, but we had to combine our security line with everyone flying out on the B side, and wait with all of them as we proceeded to the X-Ray scanners.
I have no idea what TSA bureaucrat came up with that system. I told Julie that whoever it was, the moron needed to be fired. A guy in line behind me added: “Twice!” I couldn’t disagree. It took ages. We crawled through the line. People around us were missing flights left and right. It was the single worst airline security line I’ve ever seen, by a long shot. And that’s saying something.
Thankfully, we made our flight and had no issues landing safely back in Baltimore. Throughout the trip, I’d been posting a few photos to Facebook. I try not to be That Guy on social media, constantly bombarding you every five minutes with photos, so I’d just been posting two a day. I was going with a theme: first sight of the day, last sight of the evening. So it might have been the Epcot gates, or the fireworks at night, that sort of thing. Here at the BWI baggage claim, I couldn’t resist having Julie pose for one more magical Last Sight Of the Evening post.
An hour and a half of driving time later, and we were home. The kids were in bed. But they greeted us warmly the next morning, or at least they did once we broke out the gifts. I don’t think they hate us anymore. Or, at least, they’re content to fake affection for us while biding their time, waiting for revenge. Either way, Julie and I have no regrets. We love each other. And we want to stay that way. This was a great way to make sure we do.
Coming Up Next: Didn’t you notice? That was the end! But if I have time, I’ll try and squeeze in a bonus chapter about our 24-hour getaway to New York City for Julie’s birthday.
You noticed!
in passing as BTM will be down in August)
Very sweet way to end.
Not familiar with that one. I sense a Google search coming up.
). I know I wished I had more information before taking the DLP trip. It was kind of tough for a crazy OCD planner like me. (Now, just if I could finish my Hawaii TR. What a slacker I am! Loved the trip, but so slow at reporting it.)
That's awful. Glad you still made your flight. At least you didn't have to entertain kids during the wait, I guess.
