WDW with 2 ASD kids....Early Planning Stages

[DRS_Are_Best]

It's been 6 years since our family's last trip to WDW.....last time we went it was 2 days after a doctor informed me that my (then) 2 year old twins were both "clearly on the spectrum". Well, fast forward 6 years and they are still "clearly on the spectrum", but we have come quite a ways since then.

We are just now getting ready to book a trip for the end of the year (looking to go in early December). It will be me and my husband, our 10 year old NT son and the g/b twins. They are both classified as "high functioning" at this point. But meltdowns occur periodically and we have a lot of anxiety issues that we deal with, especially in our son (for example, he is TERRIFIED of elevators [we're keeping him as far away as possible from Tower of Terror -- but I'll take Big Brother anyway since he deserves the pleasure....Dad will just keep the twins for a while when that happens]).

What are some suggestions from those who have been on how to deal with potential meltdowns or issues that you can share? I'd hardly call myself a newbie, but it's been a while since we've done this kind of trip and Disney is (in general) known for (within reason) making these trips as enjoyable as possible.

We are already researching our best options for FP+ events and attractions as well as our dining options.

TIA!

 

[ZeroMyHero]

I wasn't going to weigh in since we don't have anyone on the spectrum in our family, but DD10 has ADHD and ODD and has had some spectacular meltdowns. I've found that if we keep to a schedule that she has either had a hand in helping to plan or that she knows about ahead of time, it helps keep meltdowns to a minimum. We also make sure to eat at regular times and have snacks and water available so no one gets "hangry". She can have issues with noise on rides (Thunder Mtn comes to mind) and has earplugs she can put in whenever she wants. If your ASD kids need noise-cancelling headphones make sure they have them. During past trips when she was really unruly, we left the park and went back to the hotel for a swim or chill out time in the room. Sleep is also important. I try not to push bedtime too late, even on vacation, though because of the ADHD my DD10 has a really hard time falling asleep.

In short: stick to a schedule, don't let hunger or thirst get out of control, be prepared for sensory issues, keep bedtimes reasonable, and have a backup plan in case a situation causes you to have to leave the park. Oh, I'd also make sure there is something to do while waiting in line, whether it's fidget toys or handheld games or whatever keeps your kiddos happy. Using a DAS card in conjunction with FP+ will help keep your waits pretty minimal. I hope this helps. Enjoy your vacation!

 

[Valista]

Get to the parks about 15 minutes after they open. Rope drop can be very crowded and people can get too close so you don't want to be there before rope drop, but the first two hours that the park is open are the least crowded and the wait times are best. We make a point of eating early. Lunch at 11:00 or 11:30 and dinner btw 4:00 and 5:00 works best because the restaurants are less crowded. My daughter does better if we do our sit down meals at lunch rather than at dinner. I think she gets tired and can't handle the longer meals later in the day. We go to the parks every day but go back to the hotel for a break for two hours. Try and keep to their original schedule for as long as possible. We only stay out late for the fireworks on the last day of our trip.

 

[DRS_Are_Best]

Thanks to both of you! These are really good ideas! We were considering rope drop, but this point is a very good one! We can still make a rope drop if things look like they are going well later in the trip, but probably not on one of the first days.

 

[Princess Olivia]

Hi! I have 2 ASD kids too and both are deathly afraid of elevators!! Luckily it's been one of the "goals" at our O.T. and they're doing better. We are DVC and stay at Bay Lake so they really can't avoid the elevators!!

My best advice is do a lot of planning. Read the boards for all the tips and tricks because they are always changing. If your kids are like mine, they love water. We make sure they have time every day back at the pool. My boys are 6 and a very small 4 so we are taking our city mini double stroller . This gives them a place to decompress. I always have one or both Ipads with us, they are invaluable during dining! We have a lot of ADR's (we have 2 other NT older children) the boys do well playing games or watching a movie. Meltdowns will happen. I find the heat exasperates our youngest. We usually go in October so hoping not crazy hot in May this year but I think it's going to be pretty warm. You can easily have a wonderful time. I find that the boys thrive there. Our youngest is completely non verbal and developmentally delayed but is so alert and aware while in WDW! Can't wait til May to see more magic happen!

Have fun planning and have a great trip. Feel free to ask any questions. I'm happy to help! I know first hand it's a bit stressful.

 

[LaurenDis]

I have twins too, one on the spectrum and one "normal". We are going in May and I'm planning on bringing noise canceling head phones, compression vest, fidgets, etc in line to help. Also, we arranged to have grandparents join us so we have 1-1 with each kid (twins are 4, also have a 5 yo). Do you have an OT you are working with? Maybe they can give you some ideas?

 

[StirlingSilver83]

My son in on the spectrum as well...he doesn't have a fear of elevators but he does get a little nervous on them so thats not our problem. With him he needs a schedule that he can follow and stick to. He's not good with transitions so going from 1 thing to the next thing is really hard for him. The only way to make it not so hard is by the schedule so he knows when there is going to be a transition. Also keeping meals to the same time every day. Thats why we do the deluxe dining option so that I can schedule all the meals a head of time and keep them to all around the same time. Plus a sit down meal is good for him to get away from the hustle and bustle of the theme park. Also look for "quiet" spots. These are the spots where there won't be many people and if your kids are getting over stimulated they can just take a break. Last year when we went my son found his "quiet" spot in front of Gastons Tavern at the "wishing" well. I called it a wishing well but its really just a fountain. Anyways Gaston's Tavern is kind of tucked away in a little corner of the park by the little mermaid ride. It doesn't get too crowded there and my son really loved it there. Another thing to do is read up and check out the information on the DAS. We had the DAS last year and it really worked for my son. He get's a lot of anxiety around people he doesn't know standing in lines for a long amount of time and that anxiety can lead to him being overstimulated and then the meltdowns begin. Anyways the DAS really helped us bc we didn't have to stand in any of the stand by queues. Just went to the ride and got a return time to come back later so when used in conjunction with FP+ it really helps and saves a lot of time and it also limited the number of meltdowns. I think my son only had 1 or 2 meltdowns last year and it wasn't related to waiting in line. I think he got over stimulated at Epcot in world showcase if my memory is correct, lol. When he started to have a meltdown there we decided to go for a boat ride in the lake around world showcase. Again it was a quiet spot and it gave him the time he needed to chill out and recollect himself. Anyways I'm sure you will have an awesome vacation! Just keep stalking these boards and you will find a lot of useful information!

 

[mshanson3121]

We haven't been yet, but I'll share some of the advice I've given, and just some of my own thoughts. Our daughter is 5, also on the spectrum (higher functioning), and then we also have an almost 8 year old with Sensory Processing Disorder.

- Plan lots of down time. Whether that's just doing half days, afternoon breaks, park-free days etc... I often received advice from others to take afternoon breaks, however, for me, that's not a great idea. My kids don't transition well, so the idea of having to transition them out of the park after only a few hours (when they'll still be raring to go), back to hotel, get them just settled in and comfortable, then have to turn around and break that up, transition them back to the park, then do it all over again a few hours later when we leave again - no thank you. So we are planning on mostly half days (9-1ish), or a "full" day (9-4) with a long lunch break (ADR). We are planning on keeping our evenings free as much as possible, so that the kids can have a normal bedtime and routine. They do far better with routine, so our goal is to keep mealtimes and bedtimes etc... as normal as possible. Remember to take breaks in the park, too - a sit down meal etc...

-Plan, plan, plan. Well I mean you have to do that for Disney nowadays anyways what with FP+, but get a plan in place, so you know what park, what day, and then create a visual schedule of your trip. This gives them a bit of security in knowing what to expect, they can see that Monday is Magic Kingdom day, Tuesday is Hollywood Studios, Wednesday is being spent at the resort to rest etc...

- Use Touring Plans. From what I've heard these can be a lifesaver. They'll help reduce wait time, and can help you make sure you get to the things you really want to.

- Utilize yor FP+ and your DAS. Using these, combined with Touring Plans, should allow you to have barely any wait times. For shows/parades that you need to be there early, bring iPad etc... to entertain them while you wait.

- Get a stroller/double stroller. Not only will it help carry your stuff, but it can be a break zone if either of the needs a quick sit down, a "space" to just unwind for a minute.

- Bring ear plugs/headphones, chewing gum, straws, sunglasses, sensory brush, fidgets, a lightweight blanket you can throw over the stroller to create a darker/calming space, or any other calming item (weighted products, compression etc...) you might want. Since lap pads and weighted blankets can be too big/heavy, and compression can be hot (though probably not such a big deal in December), a friend of mine uses strap on ankle/wrist weights for her children (like the exercise ones). Still gives a good calming input, but not as big/bulky to carry around.

- If they struggle sleeping, don't forget the Melatonin!!!

-And talk to your OT, see if she can work with you some before the trip on strategies and ideas for tackling over-stimulation etc... We have a session scheduled with our OT 5 days before we leave

- Depending on how your children are in the pool/water, you might want to consider some swimming lessons before you go. Our children are in private, disability swim classes, they've been a a life saver. Since our house that we're renting has a pool, and we're going to be spending a Day at Discovery Cove, they're working with the kids on goals that will be useful down there such as for my son - putting his face in the water, wearing goggles, using a snorkel, getting more comfortable in deeper water with a life jacket on etc... These are things you want mastered (or at least well introduced) before you go away, not while there. Other things to consider would be getting them used to having water splashing on them, especially around their face (from rides, other kids in public pools etc...).

 

[DRS_Are_Best]

Thanks again for all of these tips. I wish we could bring the stroller, but they are now all too big for it.....they will be nearly 9 years old when we go and the girl twin is at 90%ile and the boy twin is at 99+%ile......even with our oversized jogging stroller that we used on our last trip, it just won't do any good anymore.

I'm making note of it all. DH and I are compulsive planners by nature and we will have our subscription to touring plans. We're going to end up with Basic Dining Plan (we believe) and we are working out how to do our meals. Last time we went (6 years ago), we did Deluxe so we could scheduled ALL our meals. But the costs have gone way up and it's no longer an option for our budget. But every sit-down will be an ADR and we'll be maximizing our FP+ attraction tickets. Also we will be going when the crowd levels are (relatively) low....usually averaging 2-3....so hopefully the wait times will be minimal.

We also plan to request DAS for the shows. My son historically has issues with these. We will bring his headphones with us, but we will be requesting easy exit access so that, should a meltdown occur, we can get him out quickly and safely. We will also be making a similar request for the wait times, but we have to figure out the best way to phrase it.

We also plan to introduce them to pin trading. And because of this, they will each have a lanyard. On the lanyards will be an Autism Awareness ribbon with a permanent back holding it on. That way, anyone "in-the-know" will recognize what we are dealing with without being obvious about it. DD is actually excited about the concept of trading pins. DS, not as much but not visibly opposed to the idea.

Trust me....I'll be asking a lot of questions over the next six months. Very happy that we'll be going back but we need to be sure to do this right. I figure it's going to be fine and fun.....if we were able to do this 6 years ago before we addressed any of the issues we were having (left 2 days after learning that we were an Autism family), then this time should be relatively easy, right?

 

[lanejudy]

I wish we could bring the stroller, but they are now all too big for it

Many families with children on the spectrum, or other diagnoses/needs, who could benefit from a "safe haven" utilize either a wheelchair or special needs stroller once the kids outgrow a standard baby stroller. For 2 kids, you would need 2 unless they might be able to switch off. If you truly think a stroller would be helpful, I'd suggest looking into either a special needs stroller or pediatric wheelchair.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[CoriM48]

You've gotten lots of great advice that I would second. Like MHansen, my ASD son does NOT do well with midday breaks, so we instead find quiet spots to take breaks in (we go at a slow time in November, so those spots can be found). If it's really hot, we eat a snack in the family care rooms because they are usually quiet and air conditioned and showing a Disney movie.

Noise canceling headphones and a chewerly necklace are MUSTS for my son. It helps him relieve a lot of his sensory overstimulation.

Watching videos on Youtube was one of the single best things we did. We watched videos of every single thing we could possibly ride or watch for months leading up to it. You can find plenty on YouTube and they really do make a huge difference in how all of our kids responded to rides. We also didn't force the issue with things like Tough To Be A Bug and Festival of the Lion King because we knew those would upset him based on a phobia he has regarding lighting.

I also printed out maps ahead of time at home and circled everything I knew we would want to see and everything we might want to see and things we definitely did not need to do. Then I planned our FastPass+ around geographic areas of the parks so that we could go in one land and hit everything we wanted do before moving on to the next land. That helped us a ton while in the park because I could look at a ride and already know if it was something we were interested in doing, and also where things were. I highly recommend avoiding crisscrossing the parks any more than you have to, especially if your kids are walking. Also, my son will be 8 and is 70+ lbs right now and we are getting him a stroller. We might need to end up investing in a therapeutic one just for times like these, but I know he would be unable to walk MK all day long.

We also stuck to semi-decent bedtimes most nights, as he really needed his sleep.

Good luck! It sounds like you are going to make it magical for your family!

 

[OurBigTrip]

We also plan to request DAS for the shows. My son historically has issues with these. We will bring his headphones with us, but we will be requesting easy exit access so that, should a meltdown occur, we can get him out quickly and safely. We will also be making a similar request for the wait times, but we have to figure out the best way to phrase it.

I noted that you said "DAS for the shows", but I don't think the DAS will help with your need for an easy exit, if necessary. It will allow you to wait outside of the lines for attractions (not sure what it does regarding waits for shows), but I don't think it will help with seating locations for shows.

Also, not sure what you mean by "similar request for wait times", but that's what the DAS is for. It doesn't reduce your wait time, but it does allow you to do other things, outside of the line, while you wait.

Enjoy your trip!

 

[mshanson3121]

^^^This!

I've read that Tom' Sawyer's Island can be a nice spot for a break as well, depending on when you go. There might be people there, but it's away from the noise, the concrete, the stimulating colors etc... In fact, we're planning on bagging our lunch and eating on TSI and taking that as a break.


We've been watching YouTube videos for a couple months now, showing them all the shows, rides, gauging interest. I've even been "simulating" the roller coasters, lol. I sit a child on my lap and as we watch the video of say Big Thunder Mountain, I try and move the way the coaster is - ex. pulling them back and bumping my legs when going up the track, suddenly dropping them forward and to the left to simulate going around a turn etc... On the flip side - lesson learned, don't show them anything that you are not willing to do because if they get it fixated in their mind... well we all know how that will end, lol! Example? I would honestly love to skip Hollywood Studios... but I can't. Because they saw the Indiana Jones video. And every day it's "How much longer till Indiana Jones?" And so... we will be going to HS just to watch Indiana Jones

It's even nice for just us the parent to preview stuff, so we can gauge if it's something we even want to allow them to try. Ex. Imagintion with Figment at Epcot is a sensory-heavy ride. It's a mild ride as far as speed, bumps etc... , but could be sensory overload for some kids - it combines heavy visual stimulation in a dark environment along with smell and noise. So does Stitch's Great Escape at MK, It's Tough to be a Bug at AK. We will not be doing any of those, just because it will be way too stimulating. My son is VERY sensitive to visual stimulation in certain lighting. Also, the last two (Stitch and Bug have sudden surprise elements, that could really be upsetting for some kids who don't do well with sudden loud noises, or sudden touch).

The other thing to consider that hasn't been mentioned is where you're going to stay. Not sure if you're planning on staying on-site, but most of the Disney value resorts are sensory-overload. Even the rooms are bold colors, the resort is bold, with characters, activities, noise etc... all around you. There is no space in an open hotel room for the child if they need a break away from you, some alone, quiet-down time. Nor is there anywhere for you to go if you need a break, or if they're in meltdown mode (and you need to plan on meltdowns!) etc... I do think some of the moderate and definitely many of the Deluxe resorts are "calmer" both in atmosphere and color scheme.

Also consider if you stay on site in a room, you are dependent on eating every meal in a restaurant. This may be fine, or it may not work for you depending on your child's needs. Again, the restaurants can be loud, busy, stimulating in decor, overwhelming sensory-wise. As an occasional thing this may be okay... but as your only option?

We chose to stay off-site,and I'm really glad for this very reason. We have an entire house to ourselves, 4 bedrooms, with our own private pool. It is nice neutral, calm colors/decor. It's in more of a neighborhood atmosphere instead of a busy resort. There is space for each of my children to go to their own room to unwind if they need. If they need to shut the door and scream and cry, I can go to the living room for a few minutes to gather myself. Having a house will allow us to keep more of a normal routine - supper at a kitchen table, relaxing in a living room before bed watching a favorite movie, then off to private bedrooms - this is a benefit for us, a well as the kids. Having a private bedroom allows them a normal bedtime, without us having to be stuck in a hotel room with the tv off for the rest of the night when it's only 8:00.

Also, we won't need to eat every meal in a restaurant. Breakfast can be at the house every morning, we can make/bag lunches and find quiet spots to eat them in the park instead of being in a busy restaurant. We're specifically planning our days so that we can be back to the house for supper time, so again, they can eat in a more calming environment, instead of every place being stimulating. Now, we are doing SOME ADRs, yes - Tusker House in AK, Cinderella's Royal Table, and Hoop Dee Doo Revue dinner show. However they're strategically placed on half days, when they have some down time first.

So my rather lengthy point, lol, is to consider your entire trip - not just your time in parks, but consider everything, where you'll be staying, eating etc... and try and make it a place where you can keep as much normal routine as possible, and which can be as calming as possible. If you really want to stay on site, then I would rent a cabin at Fort Wilderness Campgroudn. It gives you a separate bedroom, a kitchen and dining table, living area, and it's a very neutral, warm, calm decor. Also, the general area that the cabins are in are more secluded, calming, away from the hustle and bustle of the resort. We looked at them, and were going to stay there, but it was much cheaper for us to stay off-site (we're about 20 minutes driving time from MK, but we're only paying $100 a night for 4-bedroom house with private pool and games room, that is reviewed at 5 stars). But there are definitely house-rentals that are closer to Disney, that will likely still cost less than staying on site.

 

[CoriM48]

I like Mhanson's point about the restaurants. We also find those sit down restaurants to be more draining than relaxing if done for multiple meals. We stay in a suite at the Swan on property that has a small fridge, so we rent a car for the day to get there from the airport and stop at Target and buy a ton of snacks, Horizon milks, fruit, canned veggies, breakfast stuff, disposable Tupperware, and zip locks. Then we pack most of our meals into the parks and supplement with counter service things in the park that we can take and eat in our quiet spot. Midweek we usually get a big pizza delivered to our room on an early night and pack leftover pizza slices into the park the next day (my boys love cold pizza). We are there for a week, and we maybe hit a restaurant 2-3 times, and those times are always on our down or half days after we have left the parks (so hotel or Downtown Disney). I'd love to experience something like Be Our Guest, but for our family, it would probably end up hurting more than being a cool experience for them because the parks = rides/shows for them and anything else is confusing to my oldest. (Although now that BOG are doing breakfast, I might consider it pre-rope drop if that is an option and the lightning is turned off). But I know Disney Dining is an important part of the trip for many families, both financially or experience wise, and if that was the case for us, we'd figure out a different way to make it work.

 

[fabfemmeboy]

As someone on the high-functioning end of the spectrum who drove his parents crazy with meltdowns on almost every family trip, one of the things that helps me now (and would have helped me even more then) with anxiety is to watch youtube videos of the rides. That way you know what's going to happen on a ride, where it goes and when, if things will jump out at you, etc. It's not a cure-all, but it can take away a lot of the fear of the unknown. You as a parent can watch too, to see whether your kids could handle it, but there were a lot of times my parents knew nothing would happen on the ride that would be "too much" for me but I was terrified anyway because I didn't know that.

 

[DisMommyTX]

I second the suggestion to consider staying offsite. We usually rent a 3 bedroom condo at Windsor Hills. Very short drive onto property, beautiful resort pool, much less expensive than staying on property, but for us it was all about the space and the kitchen. Being able to feed DS 'his' foods each morning and all of us having separate rooms was priceless. Not paying to eat or sleep on property also allowed us to add extra days to the trip for very little cost. That way, we could just take it easy or leave early if he was having a bad day.

We also disregarded the advice from most saying to get in early and take an afternoon break. Even in July, we never left the parks. Our family is not good at mornings in general, and certainly not when we are out of the normal routine. I've yet to see a rope-drop after ten trips, and I don't expect it to happen any time soon. DS doesn't transition well and has no concept of time, so trying to leave and come back later doesn't work for us. Instead, we sleep in, have a good breakfast, then hit the parks whenever we are ready. Our FP are scheduled for early afternoon, but we often end up changing them anyway. We have fun, use the DAS card to ride what he wants that day, and on good days we stay to see all the parades and fireworks. That is what works for us. You will have to see what works for you.

I also recommend a trip to a local fair or theme park. Seeing how your kids do will help you anticipate potential issues during the trip and plan accordingly. Mine happens to love the chaos and even thrive on it. Disney is his favorite place in the world. Our trips don't look like most people's, but they are perfect for our family!

 

[bookwormde]

First congratulation on have 2 spectrum kids, even though our society is not fully ready for them yet, we are about to head into a new era for our kids.

Focusing on your children's needs and being flexible is #1

WDW is a magical place for our kids and with the suggestion above can be an amazing opportunity for growth.