Was there ever a single event that changed

[usd2bmd]

There are several, all have changed me in different ways.

Shortly after high school several friends were in a car accident; two of them were killed. One instantly and the other lived for several days. It showed a young woman who thought nothing bad could ever happen to her or her circle of friends that life is fragile. I tell people how I feel. All the time. If I am told that someone I knew has died I don't want to wonder if they know how I felt about them. I want them to be sure.

 

[tigercat]

Several things. One of the biggest one was the loss of my son. Another one was the loss of my best friend. I really miss him.
tigercat

 

[Robinrs]

Several things. One of the biggest one was the loss of my son. Another one was the loss of my best friend. I really miss him.
tigercat

The loss of loved ones change us forever, especially a child. You lose a future, a title, a life... and you always wonder what would've happened IF.

I lost my child, both parents, 5 aunts and 3 cousins and all of them gave me a stronger faith. Before that I had no idea that I would've been able to survive without them. You just learn to.

 

[carrie1626]

The Story of Susan Smith ( drowning of her children).

I thought she was quilty from the get-go. Her "plea" was the most pathetic thing I had ever seen.

Therefore when I hear of children missing, especially those taken from their homes, I never believe 100% that the parents are not involved.

 

[tigercat]

Robin thanks for the kind words.
My best friend was a man. I hate when they say that men and women can not be friends. He was my best friend and his wife was/is a good friend to both my husband and I. As a matter of fact the 3 of us (his wife, my husband and I) went on a cruise in Sept. Oh and my husband and I will be celebrating 41 yrs. married in Oct.
The loss of my son was so draining of a different kind. I thought I had been knifed in the gut. When I think something is so important to get mad at my kids or grandkids I think of him and remember that life is or can be so short.
tigercat

 

[ebtbmom]

I am more skeptical of "sex offenders" and the registry after knowing personally someone that was made to register because of a stupid thing he did shortly after he turned 18.

 

[mommanne]

I was tied up and raped at the age of 15 by a man for whom I babysat his children. I am just realizing now the damage that did to me, at the age of 54. It made me a very "difficult" woman in that I will not be domineered in any way. This has been an issue in many relationships and not in a good way.

I survived a few brain aneurysms in 1999. That changed a lot of my perspective. Only the good die young, and I remain on this planet for a reason I haven't determined yet. If there is a higher power, he left me sane enough and alive to raise the wonderful children I raised.

 

[tvguy]

My dad died when I was 9. My mom worked full time and raised me. Sometimes straightening up the house just didn't happen because there just wasn't time for it. That Little League game, or some other family thing was more important.

Been married over 32 years, and the concept of "cleaning the house can wait" has never entered DW's mind. Something DW got from her mom.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When my child almost died after she was born and after coming home dealing with medical issues, I had to grow up fast and learn the "medical system" quick. I learned the importance of what a good doctor does and following your gut.

 

[minkydog]

My youngest son, Christian, changed my life. We were rocking along, raising our kids and getting on with the business of life when this very handicapped child was born to us. It's one the things parents fear the most and here we were.

Because of Christian, we were introduced to this whole underground world of disabilities that most people never see. We have met teachers, therapists, doctors and caregivers who want nothing more than to help our son.

Seven years later my husband was stricken with a serious lung disease which made him fully disabled. Having Christian first made it easier to bear, because we had already been through such a catastrophic event.

 

[Unas]

"Freedom Summer" - specifically the murders of Goodman, Chaney and Schwerner.

 

[MamaLema]

My best friend died at age 36 leaving behind 3 kids under 5. As long as I have enough money for food, bills, and education, I made a pact with my husband years ago to live life to the fullest, enjoy each day, and spend lots of time as a family no matter how much eye rolling we get from our teens.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

For me it was a two-fer when a former high school friend became a police officer.

A decade ago I had looked up a guy I was pretty good friends with in high school. I was a pretty low period in my life & was looking to make some changes & re-establish some old connections. He invited me over for dinner to meet his family. At first it seemed like the way he was treating his dogs was a little excessive, but I wasn't a dog person, so I wasn't sure. He also was a little rude to his wife.

Despite my better judgment, I decided to try to hang out with him again, this time we met for drinks. He told me how he still hangs out with a lot of people from high school (which I found pretty sad). He then told me about some of the shadier stuff he had done as a cop - he was always a bit of an exaggerator & braggart, so I assumed he was trying to show off. He then told me how he hated his wife & wished he could leave her, but that he needed to stay with her because he had political ambitions & he was afraid he wouldn't get custody of his son. He also asked me if I could hook him up with one of my female friends, but not if she'd ever been with a black guy - the words he used were a lot more offensive.
I was appalled on so many levels.

I learned a couple things from the experience:
1) Sometimes friendships fade for a reason & really shouldn't be resurrected if it's someone you really don't have anything in common with. And if they're a deplorable human being, run!

2) I thought that even though the police could go over board with suspects, generally if you haven't done anything wrong, you wouldn't have anything to worry about. Somehow the state saw fit to give this sociopath a badge & a gun. I realized that while there are a lot of good cops, there are a ton of bad ones. The domestic violence stats by law enforcement alone is staggering.

 

[okeydokey]

I was tied up and raped at the age of 15 by a man for whom I babysat his children. I am just realizing now the damage that did to me, at the age of 54. It made me a very "difficult" woman in that I will not be domineered in any way. This has been an issue in many relationships and not in a good way.

I survived a few brain aneurysms in 1999. That changed a lot of my perspective. Only the good die young, and I remain on this planet for a reason I haven't determined yet. If there is a higher power, he left me sane enough and alive to raise the wonderful children I raised.

I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope the law or karma bit that man hard.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

For me it was a two-fer when a former high school friend became a police officer.

A decade ago I had looked up a guy I was pretty good friends with in high school. I was a pretty low period in my life & was looking to make some changes & re-establish some old connections. He invited me over for dinner to meet his family. At first it seemed like the way he was treating his dogs was a little excessive, but I wasn't a dog person, so I wasn't sure. He also was a little rude to his wife.

Despite my better judgment, I decided to try to hang out with him again, this time we met for drinks. He told me how he still hangs out with a lot of people from high school (which I found pretty sad). He then told me about some of the shadier stuff he had done as a cop - he was always a bit of an exaggerator & braggart, so I assumed he was trying to show off. He then told me how he hated his wife & wished he could leave her, but that he needed to stay with her because he had political ambitions & he was afraid he wouldn't get custody of his son. He also asked me if I could hook him up with one of my female friends, but not if she'd ever been with a black guy - the words he used were a lot more offensive.
I was appalled on so many levels.

I learned a couple things from the experience:
1) Sometimes friendships fade for a reason & really shouldn't be resurrected if it's someone you really don't have anything in common with. And if they're a deplorable human being, run!

2) I thought that even though the police could go over board with suspects, generally if you haven't done anything wrong, you wouldn't have anything to worry about. Somehow the state saw fit to give this sociopath a badge & a gun. I realized that while there are a lot of good cops, there are a ton of bad ones. The domestic violence stats by law enforcement alone is staggering.

Bad person aside, why did you find it "sad" that he still hangs out with friends from HS? I'm a little sad I DON'T get to see those people more.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

Bad person aside, why did you find it "sad" that he still hangs out with friends from HS? I'm a little sad I DON'T get to see those people more.

It wasn't that just that he still hung out with high school friends, it was that he still hung out with the old gang & much of our conversation leaned towards him waxing poetic about "the good old days.".

As he told me what the old gang was up to (without my asking, mind you), it seemed like they were all on the exact same life-track: married by 25, having kids by 28, no desire to really have any personal growth, all still pining for the glory days of H.S. I'm halfway surprised he didn't show up in a letterman's jacket.

I have a handful of friends that I keep in contact with, but I'm interested about what they're up to now, not constantly reliving their fond memories of when they were 17.

For me, high school was like standing in line for a ride: the best stuff was waiting for me after I was through with the line; sure you make friends standing in line & it isn't exactly the worst experience ever, but it seemed very strange to me that some people lament about not being in the line anymore. This was one of the reasons I've never felt compelled to go to a reunion.

 

[FergieTCat]

My nephew's death. He died young and unexpectedly. It completely changed the way I view religion and fate.

September 11th. I live in New York City. I lost my naiveity about alot of things that day.

 

[yoopermom]

My best friend was a man. I hate when they say that men and women can not be friends. He was my best friend and his wife was/is a good friend to both my husband and I.

Oh, tigercat, I so get you. My BF (aside from DH and DS) is a man, we've been BF's for almost thirty years. He's retired military, and I literally have spent twenty years praying for his safety and for all our men and women in the military. It's a little ironic, since the main reason I didn't get married to him was that I didn't want to be a military wife, and yet I've still spent my whole life worrying for him, anyways! He, his wife, and DH and I are all good friends, so it is possible, I agree.

I work at a college that has many veterans going to school here, and, when I see the challenges (mental and physical) that they face, I thank God everyday for their service...

Terri

 

[lisaviolet]

Many in my personal life. But not for an internet board.

Outside of me, quite a few as well. On a regular basis actually, big and small. To me even the small moments are something.

Here are some ones that really sit with me:

1) Reading about Romeo Dallaire and the Rwandan genocide way after the fact and STILL it was nowhere in the regular media. I thought I was instantly going to be sick to my stomach. How such a thing could happen after the Holocaust and if it did happen how it was nowhere in the media. And no one I knew knew anything about it. How? It changed how I thought the world worked. I was at a naive age but still it changed me forever.

2) When a pig farmer in the Vancouver area spent years of his life killing women. Taking them from the Lower Eastside, getting them to come to him. Years. Almost fifty women. How we all can let something like this happen? How? Because we live in a world where so many of us see people who are prostitutes , drug addicted as less then somehow. Without any kind of soul that can gather that that path does not make them less than. That's why. "They just chose to live somewhere else" was said to their relatives by crass and lazy and judgmental police officers (some I mean). I honestly thought that every case that came to a police station was given fair consideration. This event changed my thinking on that. I respect police officers but my viewpoints changed when it all came out, forever changed. I also know 100% that this would never have happened if he took them from an affluent area. Yes the environment made it harder to trace, and crack the case. But years.

3) A letter to the editor that I just read in our newspaper. Our lovely Peter MacKay, Minister of Justice calling men who use prostitution perverts.

I really opened my eyes to a man writing in about his use of prostitution. It was an interesting letter to read.

I should see if I can find it -

http://www.thestar.com/opinion/lett.../06/23/prostitution_john_states_his_case.html

4) On a lesser scale but a moment for me on here. Reading the gun debate when the man shot another in a movie theatre. I am anti-gun, or thought I was 100% in every way, but some posts and thoughts really moved me with other viewpoints.

 

[lisaviolet]

Several things. One of the biggest one was the loss of my son. Another one was the loss of my best friend. I really miss him.
tigercat

I'm very sorry tigercat and Robin.

I was tied up and raped at the age of 15 by a man for whom I babysat his children. I am just realizing now the damage that did to me, at the age of 54. It made me a very "difficult" woman in that I will not be domineered in any way. This has been an issue in many relationships and not in a good way.

I survived a few brain aneurysms in 1999. That changed a lot of my perspective. Only the good die young, and I remain on this planet for a reason I haven't determined yet. If there is a higher power, he left me sane enough and alive to raise the wonderful children I raised.

I'm so very sorry mommanne.