Walking that fine line between autism and brat

[alizesmom]

How do you handle it when your child acts out and you are fairly sure it's because she didn't get her way? It's so hard to read Ciara especially since she's non-verbal. I get it right less than half the time. I want to protect her when there is a sensory or physical problem but do not want to reinforce any brattiness.

 

[bookwormde]

You have to remember that with our kids most of the time it is not a social "challenge" but the genetics simply do not come with a strong imparative to be compliant. Out kids do not discriminate and thereby do not have the typcial adult child relationship and need to know and accept the whys and the timing imparatives if they are to comply with "requests".

certainly she "acts out" since that is her only way of communicating that is heard.

You can certainly reinsorce this behavior if you do not develop a better understanding and communication structure.

It is not easy even with our kids that are verbal. The first thing to do is to let go of standard societal expectation and find a way that works for your child. communication is the cue even if it is not verbal. remember thay have to have a logical reason to do something and are not governed by socialogical complaince.

Remember that most of our kids are a lot smarter than their communication skills indicate so work with their intellect and leave the social tools for NT kids.

bookwormde

 

[krisnme]

ohhhh, that really is a tough one isn't it! even at 19 almost 20 DS still has his moments of Brat, it is so hard to tell if he is just having a hard time being told "no" or if he is really trying to manipulate me. I have lost it with him, assuming it is a brat moment, only to find that he had some physical discomfort that was making him miserable and he could not verbalize it. he is highly verbal except for self expression. other times I have given in or babied him only to find out he was trying to get something. It can be difficult to have an adult appearing "child" who will burst into tears in public when he does not get what he wants! in his defense I will add that he rarely asks for anything except video games and magazines and we usually work it out before going into a store, it is those unexpected "wants" that cause a problem. good luck with your problems, and trust your instincts. you WILL get it wrong, but then most of the time you WILL get it right, and thats what counts!