Unexpected News

[kristen821]

Congratulations! This will someday soon be very happy news for you. I know it's a shock now, but it will all work out and is meant to be. There is something about having and IUD removed that makes you super fertile. Everyone I know, including myself was pregnant within a month of having it removed.

 

[monorailsilver]

Congrats & ((((HUGS))))). I have been there minus the IUD, BC pills, and move to Europe.

My dh calls me fertile myrtle. We only have 3 kids though. I promised I wouldn't beg for a 3rd after I begged for a 2nd. But guess what, I have a third.

I am the one that wanted lots of kids & my dh did not. So surprise surprise when I found out I was not happy about it but my dh was thrilled. Go figure the man who wanted zero children was thrilled to have a third child.

It took me a good month or so to be happy about it.

The toughest things were that 3 of my friends had m/c during that pregnancy & all 3 wanted that child so badly, more so then me so I think that put a damper in my "oh I am so happy to be pregnant" mood.

Good Luck & things will work out in the end.

 

[disney55]

My creed in times like this........
Keep Calm & Mother On!

 

[Kathi OD]

My oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is just 15 months

It could be worse. DS and DDIL have 3 kiddos...The oldest was 29 months old when the third one was born. Each pregnancy was a "whoops!" Their lives are hectic, but they cannot for one minute imagine life without any of the babes.

You may be in a state of shock now, but I think that you'll find your new child will actually help you settle into your new life in Europe. People are attracted to babies. They are great icebreakers. While your life will certainly be busy, you'll probably be fine.


FTR...yes, I know my son and DIL are more than a little crazy. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

[ACMommy]

Congrats & ((((HUGS))))). I have been there minus the IUD, BC pills, and move to Europe.

My dh calls me fertile myrtle. We only have 3 kids though. I promised I wouldn't beg for a 3rd after I begged for a 2nd. But guess what, I have a third.

I am the one that wanted lots of kids & my dh did not. So surprise surprise when I found out I was not happy about it but my dh was thrilled. Go figure the man who wanted zero children was thrilled to have a third child.

It took me a good month or so to be happy about it.

The toughest things were that 3 of my friends had m/c during that pregnancy & all 3 wanted that child so badly, more so then me so I think that put a damper in my "oh I am so happy to be pregnant" mood.

Good Luck & things will work out in the end.

I had always pictured myself with three... until my second pregnancy. I was so very sick and just generally didn't tolerate it well. I like her much better on the outside.


Thank you all for your very kind comments. It really does help. I know that the feelings I'm having now will eventually subside, but this certainly does put a wrench in our plans. We'll figure it out. DH isn't thrilled either, but he's been nothing but supportive. Bless him.

 

[firecracker725]

You may not wish to divulge, but what country are you moving to? Some are more English-friendly than others. It is a common misconception that everyone in Europe speaks English, and while most do, they aren't always excited about it.

 

[CentralFloridian99]

I know you're panicking now, but don't worry! Over time you'll get use to it and you'll be happy you have a new child coming!

 

[mickeyboat]

Congratulations and good luck!

I was blessed with a surprise baby, too. I can't imagine life without her.

 

[EllenFrasier]

Congratulations! I am sure over time you will be happy about the baby. As for delaying the trip, I would want that too. Once you are living in Europe why would it be any different because you have a baby? Your other children will not be that old either - how were you planning on caring for them there?

 

[ACMommy]

You may not wish to divulge, but what country are you moving to? Some are more English-friendly than others. It is a common misconception that everyone in Europe speaks English, and while most do, they aren't always excited about it.

Let's put it this way, it is one of the countries that is famous for being reluctant to speak English.

 

[ACMommy]

Congratulations! I am sure over time you will be happy about the baby. As for delaying the trip, I would want that too. Once you are living in Europe why would it be any different because you have a baby? Your other children will not be that old either - how were you planning on caring for them there?

How would it be different? Is that a serious question? Have you ever cared for a newborn? How about caring for a newborn while chasing after a rambunctious two year old and a five year old in a foreign country?

 

[HelenePA]

How would it be different? Is that a serious question? Have you ever cared for a newborn? How about caring for a newborn while chasing after a rambunctious two year old and a five year old in a foreign country?

Well I have done the whole chasing thing but not in a foreign country thing... I mean a house is a house right? I never had ANY help with any of my kids.. sure I'm a little crazier than before I had kids but its totally worth it My 3rd was also the easiest of the bunch... we use to joke if we could have 100 kids like him we would.. he was an awesome baby!! #4.. not so much... he'd be an only child if he was my first..

 

[Ennazus8810]

Just wanted to give you . My girls are 11 months apart. I cried when I found out I was pregnant with #2. I should say I screamed and cried. My DH found out the answer to the test he brought home for me by hearing me scream "NOOOOO" from the bathroom. Our first had been our little miracle, years of fertility treatments and nothing. Then she was conceived naturally between treatments. Then boom, #2. They are now 2 & 3. Life is hard at times, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

As for the foreign country, I think it will be hard no matter what the ages of the kids. My best to you and your family.

 

[Longsx3]

Enjoy your baby, Enjoy Europe. Honestly we lived in Germany for 3 yrs and it was awesome. My dh was deployed for a year while we were there and we stayed put, we did not live on base and our neighbors were both locals and military. Everyone was awesome! I think you will be fine, I would not change my plans.

 

[BreeBree]

I experienced a similar situation. I was pregnant with my first when 5 months into my pregnancy my husband found out he needed to be in Paris for business for 6 months starting a month before the baby was due. I was completely freaked out and I just cried when I found out. I had the baby with my husband away and about a month later we joined him for the 4 months he had left. Those were some of the best times of my life and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Everyone was so nice to me even though I didn't speak one bit of French. I made some friends and it all turned out great, I even found out I was pregnant with my second there, that made the last month interesting

 

[Planogirl]

You're probably talking about France. Some of them just don't want to talk to tourists but you won't be that. Many will know English.

As for raising kids, it's no different than in the US. I was raised in both Holland and the US and I saw no difference growing up. I will say that the best year of my childhood was spent in Amsterdam and I cherish those memories.

 

[gwynne]

How would it be different? Is that a serious question? Have you ever cared for a newborn? How about caring for a newborn while chasing after a rambunctious two year old and a five year old in a foreign country?

You will have other expat friends. You haven't said what country, or generally what kind of job. Unless your dh is the only American at a particular company or school, (rare situation) you will have easy, frequent contact with lots of folks who remember what it was like to be nervous about a move like this. They were in your shoes not long ago. Make your lists, ask your questions, they will help you. Overseas I had friends that were local, American, and British. They were all helpful with sharing information, making friends, sometimes trading babysitting.
And I know you're planning to give birth in the US, but I will share this, just to give you a better picture of being a mom overseas.

 

[ACMommy]

Yes, it's France, and DH will be doing research with a couple of French scientists. I'm aware that there's a large expat community in the city we're relocating to.

I am extremely excited about this move, just not with a newborn. I was expecting to have a 2yo and a 5yo. The five year old will be at school while I have the 2yo at home. I don't know why, but the idea of adding another little one to that just freaks me out. Not to even mention how to get a passport for the little one and a visa in such a short amount of time. However, I'm well aware that nothing can be done about it now, and this is something we'll just have to deal with.

DH received word from his grant source that he can defer up to a year, so we're exploring our options at this point.

 

[jbcheerchick93]

Yes, it's France, and DH will be doing research with a couple of French scientists. I'm aware that there's a large expat community in the city we're relocating to.

I am extremely excited about this move, just not with a newborn. I was expecting to have a 2yo and a 5yo. The five year old will be at school while I have the 2yo at home. I don't know why, but the idea of adding another little one to that just freaks me out. Not to even mention how to get a passport for the little one and a visa in such a short amount of time. However, I'm well aware that nothing can be done about it now, and this is something we'll just have to deal with.

DH received word from his grant source that he can defer up to a year, so we're exploring our options at this point.

I just wanted to say congrats! Even though you feel overwhelmed...things will work out beautifully!

On another note, having spent time in France, it really depends on where you are living on how much english is spoken! If you are living in/near Paris (REMEMBER this is just my experience) it seemed to me that the people living there are much more accustomed to speaking english. They were never rude about it but they absolutely ADORED when we attempted to speak in french. They thought it was the best thing ever, even though I could really only count to 100 and say some colors.

I will say that there is a lot of walking done there and I'm sure that will be a concern having a toddler and a 5 yr old along with a newborn. But this could be a great opportunity for your 5 year old to take on some "responsibility" (i.e., holding on to the toddlers hand when walking, staying close to mom, nothing too serious). If you find out the area/ address of where you are living you can look it up on google maps and check out where the nearby parks are, what the roads are like with traffic/wideness, what the surrounding area looks like, etc.

I'll be thinking of you, and I'm sure all will go well!