Unexpected News

[ACMommy]

First of all, just let me clarify that I am not a troll. I am a long time member, but I'm using a sock account to protect my identity, as I'm not ready to share this news with those I know yet.

So I just found out that I'm pregnant. I want so badly to be happy, but I just can't muster anything more than panic. It was completely unplanned. Seriously, I had my IUD removed 6 weeks ago, and I have BC pills ready to go in the medicine cabinet. Both of our girls were conceived with the help of letrozole and HCG, so I can't even believe I got pregnant with no help. I mean, I'm an adult so I know it can happen, but I am in complete denial.

We'll get through it of course, but I just needed somewhere to talk about this freely. Our major issue is that the baby will be due just 23 days after we are supposed to move to Europe. DH is trying to see if we can delay our departure until August, so the baby will be born here in the U.S., but how do I take my newborn to a country where I don't speak the language and have no support system?

 

[N&B'smom]

First off, congratulations!! I know you aren't all excited right now because you are overwhelmed by life BUT this will be a blessing. As far as moving away with a newborn, you'll do fine!!! A friend of mine moved to AFRICA with her newborn! I'm sure it'll be better than you think!!!

Try not to panic!!!

 

[Feckless]

Wow, I can imagine how panicked you must be! How old are your other children? The thought of having an unplanned baby, coupled with a move outside the country, would bring me to my knees for sure.

I was born within a year of my brother, who had significant health problems. I remember being a child and hearing someone ask my mother if I was an accident (imagine the nerve! LOL) My mom said something like no, but we don't call her an accident, we call her a surprise. A surprise is something you didn't know you wanted until you got it. LOL I used to say that it is hard to be upset about being an accident when you feel like you're the favourite!

Moral: The surprise third baby is always the best.

 

[mjkacmom]

I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child a few months after #3 turned 1. I cried for a while (weeks). I had just stopped BCP's, and had an appointment for an IUD in 2 months (takes a while to get in - unless you're pregnant).

Then, when I had finally sort of accepted it, we found out we were having twins. I tried to explain to the person doing the u/s that it was not possible, I had 3 very young children already, but that didn't help.

Needless to say, I can't even imagine our lives without them, and the thought that they weren't supposed to be here makes me very sad, and yet very grateful. Don't worry, it all works out, and don't feel badly about not jumping for joy!D

 

[robinb]

First of all, just let me clarify that I am not a troll. I am a long time member, but I'm using a sock account to protect my identity, as I'm not ready to share this news with those I know yet.

So I just found out that I'm pregnant. I want so badly to be happy, but I just can't muster anything more than panic. It was completely unplanned. Seriously, I had my IUD removed 6 weeks ago, and I have BC pills ready to go in the medicine cabinet. Both of our girls were conceived with the help of letrozole and HCG, so I can't even believe I got pregnant with no help. I mean, I'm an adult so I know it can happen, but I am in complete denial.

We'll get through it of course, but I just needed somewhere to talk about this freely. Our major issue is that the baby will be due just 23 days after we are supposed to move to Europe. DH is trying to see if we can delay our departure until August, so the baby will be born here in the U.S., but how do I take my newborn to a country where I don't speak the language and have no support system?

Congratulations! If anything, a brand new baby will break the ice in your new country .

 

[ACMommy]

Wow, I can imagine how panicked you must be! How old are your other children? The thought of having an unplanned baby, coupled with a move outside the country, would bring me to my knees for sure.

I was born within a year of my brother, who had significant health problems. I remember being a child and hearing someone ask my mother if I was an accident (imagine the nerve! LOL) My mom said something like no, but we don't call her an accident, we call her a surprise. A surprise is something you didn't know you wanted until you got it. LOL I used to say that it is hard to be upset about being an accident when you feel like you're the favourite!

Moral: The surprise third baby is always the best.

My oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is just 15 months

 

[ACMommy]

One thing is for certain, DH is making an appointment to get snipped ASAP.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is just 15 months

Oh my, you will be busy! Allow yourself the feelings that you're having right now. It's normal to feel shocked and scared. Even without the baby, moving at all, much less out of the country, with 2 young children, is hard.

Well, I suppose you will not have to worry about carrying boxes and packing heavy things.

Maybe try making a list of the different things you and your husband can do to make it easier. If you're supposed to be packing your own belongings, consider hiring someone to do that. Learn as much as possible about the community you'll be moving to...find mom groups that speak English. So many people in Europe speak English, so hopefully that won't be too big of a barrier. Perhaps get so language CDs and learn the basics before you go. You can even include your children in that process.

Hang in there and know that everything will work out.

 

[padams]

Many Europeans speak English. You probably will not have any language issues.

 

[Mariep26]

((HUGS)) that is a lot to take in all at once. Take it all one step at a time and try to make a little time for yourself (take a walk, read a book, long bath) to clear your mind.

 

[gwynne]

You're due to move because of a job, is that right? You guys will be fine! Europe is a great place to raise an infant. You should have some sort of sponsor that will help you with information about the local area, housing, medical, that kind of thing. Both military and civilian employers do this.

And as a poster above said, a baby is a great icebreaker. You will meet friends.

 

[lizabu]

Whoo wouldn't be freaking out? Just give it time and it will sink in. Fear will turn into excitement.

 

[dyna]

In the days of the computer an internet I'd say it would be easier than ever to move to another country. We have so much information at our fingertips that we did not used to have.

It is now possible to move halfway across the world already have found decent housing an already know where the stores are that we frequently need. Even to already have made friends with some ppl in the area. Learn the customs of the area that you are not used to.

PP's also has it right that babies are a great ice breaker.

 

[DebbieB]

I know so many people who had fertility problems and then had an "oops!". A couple of them had twins through treatment, thought they were done and then surprise! The one had twin boys about 7 years old and found out she was pregnant at 40. She was really upset. She had an ultrasound and found out it was a girl. After seeing her, her attitude changed and she ended up giving up a high paying job to be a stay at home mom while the baby was young.

 

[FlyingBelle]

I know so many people who had fertility problems and then had an "oops!". A couple of them had twins through treatment, thought they were done and then surprise! The one had twin boys about 7 years old and found out she was pregnant at 40. She was really upset. She had an ultrasound and found out it was a girl. After seeing her, her attitude changed and she ended up giving up a high paying job to be a stay at home mom while the baby was young.

Yeah - I was one of those... after 15 years of fertility and some miscarriages along the way - I had my daughter (now 5) and she was, and still is, a HANDFUL!

Then I turned 40 and surprise! I completely freaked out when I found out I was pregnant - wasn't sure how I was going to manage another one. But, my son is one of our greatest blessings. He's the sweetest little guy (now 16 months), he sleeps great, has a great temperament, and brings us so much joy.

I have no idea why I was freaking out! Hang in there... it may not be what you planned, but you'll be ok.

 

[4nana]

Awww, I can imagine the shock and anxiety you must feel and send big ((hugs)) and prayers. Keep the faith that your unexpected surprise will turn out to be a true blessing for your family and the move will work out. Sometimes life has a way of throwing curve balls that tests us in some form or fashion, to help us lean on our faith, DH, family/friends, and we grow amazingly stronger.

It took me 3 yrs to have my 1st blessing, then low and behold I had 4 blessings within 5 yr period . Looking back at raising a young family, in tough financial times, I wonder how we did it. Little did we realize the best was yet to come, our children make our world go round and make us more proud than words can say.

Please believe you can do this ~ take care of yourself one day at a time and vent whenever need be.

 

[runsandjumps]

I wish you the best. I, too, would be terrified. That's a shock for anyone. Take a deep breath and know that people all over the world are sending you good thoughts!

 

[bettymae1121]

Look to see if you can find and ex-pat groups on Yahoo for the city you'll be in, unless you're in the boonies I'm sure you can find people from the US/Canada/England that would be thrilled to have a newbie join the group.

 

[burnurcomputer]

My mom went in to get an IUD when my sister was about 6 months old and found out she was expecting me. She was very, very shocked. She had me and later found out that I was the best thing that ever happened to her....besides my sister

 

[OhMari]

My oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is just 15 months

It may seem like a lot right now, but it will be okay. My third child was so easy. The baby will fit right into your "family" because you are a family. I remember when I got pregnant with #4. We called her our strap baby. I got one of the baby strap carriers and we had to be out the with the rest of the family. Our oldest were getting into t-ball and soccer. My sister still kids me how, I strapped the baby onto my bike seat carrier at 4 1/2 months. I still have that bike seat. I strapped her in just like a car seat did.

Talk about time going by so fast. My youngest is graduating college in December. Time really does fly by fast. But it may not seem like it at the time. You will be fine.