Ugh-Why are people so rude?

[Sydnie]

I have a child, but I still don't see why it should entitle me to a better parking spot.

Sorry once again if it came off this way. I am in no way entitled to any spot more than anyone else. I just happened to be the first car to come up to her when she started holding the spot and the fact I had kids in the car just made it that many more people she was inconveniencing by deciding to block it. I explained my thoughts here;

Well when I see someone with young children, a pregnant woman, elderly people or disabled people in their group I will always give them my space, hold a door or give them my seat. I know how much work it is to get around with two children but even when I am with my children I try to accommodate other people's needs above our own much as possible. I think that is the cornerstone of civility and respect for others. The very reason I didn't push the issue of the parking space was because I thought the lady was waiting for family members who may be elderly, have young children or with special needs. Having a 1 and a 3 year old, while a lot of work, is nothing compared to the needs many other families have. However I was doubly frustrated when I saw the lady's able-bodied husband spring out of the car.She chose to hold it for him knowing it would mean a mom and two toddlers having to park much farther away. (She could very obviously see the kids in their car seats) I just find it inconsiderate. I would never ever dream of asking someone already parking to move for us though.



I think it's abhorrent that people take handicapped spots-it takes a special kind of entitled jerk to think that is acceptable even for a second. I am sorry you have to deal with it.

Would I have given up the spot if a handicapped or elderly person pulled in behind me? Absolutely!!! It is only good manners and in a crowded parking lot they should absolutely take precedence over a healthy 27 year old and her two kids. I also routinely let people go ahead of me in line, hold doors for people and say please and thank you. It's all part and parcel of treating people the way they should be, with respect.

I must disagree that she "got it first" however. She had already parked her car elsewhere and then chose to tie up a parking spot for about 15 minutes while cars were circling. I don't think a pedestrian should do that. Had her husband beat me to the space I would never dream of asking him to move-that would have been as selfish as I am accusing her of being! I just think it's wrong for a person to "claim" a spot like that. She is not a car, the spots are for whichever car gets to them first

Of course I can accept that we just may disagree on this

 

[castleview]

A few summers ago, I was pulling into a somewhat tight - but only remaining - parking spot on Cape Cod when a woman started freaking out because I had the nerve to park in a spot that was at least a foot away from her car. She was upset because she just bought the car. I just walked away feeling sorry for her that she honestly believed no on could use an available parking spot because of her new car.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

A few summers ago, I was pulling into a somewhat tight - but only remaining - parking spot on Cape Cod when a woman started freaking out because I had the nerve to park in a spot that was at least a foot away from her car. She was upset because she just bought the car. I just walked away feeling sorry for her that she honestly believed no on could use an available parking spot because of her new car.

Had something similar happen once - I park in the furthest parking spots because I like to walk and I don't want to take spots from people who might need closer parking for whatever reason. But I drive old cars - beaters. I don't park out there to "protect" my cars from door dings and the like.

Well, one day I park between two very nice cars (most of the cars out there are the nicer ones). There were no spots that would have allowed me to park with no car on either side. A man walks up - the owner of one of the two cars that I had just parked between - and started "inspecting" his car for damage.

He gave me the stink eye as I stood there watching him, with a smirk on my face. I was waiting for him to start yelling at me for having the audacity to park my Ford Taurus next to his benz. He eventually got in his car and drove away, never taking his eyes off of me.

I thought about just walking away as he inspected his car, but he looked so angry that I was worried that he would key my car or something. People need to ease up - relax and enjoy life a little more.

 

[BellvilleDad]

Well when I see someone with young children, a pregnant woman, elderly people or disabled people in their group I will always give them my space, hold a door or give them my seat. I know how much work it is to get around with two children but even when I am with my children I try to accommodate other people's needs above our own much as possible. I think that is the cornerstone of civility and respect for others. The very reason I didn't push the issue of the parking space was because I thought the lady was waiting for family members who may be elderly, have young children or with special needs. Having a 1 and a 3 year old, while a lot of work, is nothing compared to the needs many other families have. However I was doubly frustrated when I saw the lady's able-bodied husband spring out of the car.She chose to hold it for him knowing it would mean a mom and two toddlers having to park much farther away. (She could very obviously see the kids in their car seats) I just find it inconsiderate.



I think it's abhorrent that people take handicapped spots-it takes a special kind of entitled jerk to think that is acceptable even for a second. I am sorry you have to deal with it.

Would I have given up the spot if a handicapped or elderly person pulled in behind me? Absolutely!!! It is only good manners and in a crowded parking lot they should absolutely take precedence over a healthy 27 year old and her two kids. I also routinely let people go ahead of me in line, hold doors for people and say please and thank you. It's all part and parcel of treating people the way they should be, with respect.

I must disagree that she "got it first" however. She had already parked her car elsewhere and then chose to tie up a parking spot for about 15 minutes while cars were circling. I don't think a pedestrian should do that. Had her husband beat me to the space I would never dream of asking him to move-that would have been as selfish as I am accusing her of being! I just think it's wrong for a person to "claim" a spot like that. She is not a car, the spots are for whichever car gets to them first

Of course I can accept that we just may disagree on this

Well, I agree completely with you. Of late, manners and compassion are often disregarded for self-convenience.

 

[ols386]

What I hate is vulturing. Yes, I know you want a parking spot, but following me through the lot isn't the way to go about it. It makes me want to walk as slooooooooooow as I can to my car, then put my stuff in the trunk, then stand there looking like I forgot something, then make a phone call... ect.

That said, at my college campus, I have been known as I was walking to my car to point out where I was going to someone circling. As long as they are not being jerks by vulturing, I will help them out.

If I'm the one who is being "vultured", and I know it, I will try to get to my vehicle as quickly as possible, and leave. Deliberately making someone who you know is waiting, is passive-aggressive, which is not very mature.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with "vulturing", as you call it, if there are NO parking spots available. As long as the vulture isn't riding right on your heels, calling you names, or that type of thing.

 

[Heidict]

I used to work retail in an outlet mall, many years ago. It was during the Christmas season and the parking was a horrendous mess. A spot opened up in front of our store and a young girl ran into and stood there before a car could get to it.

She stood there and waited for her boyfriend to swing around the lot with the car.

A man came along in his car and decided he wanted that spot. She wouldn't move and stood her ground, even though he blew his horn at her and made gestures at her through the windshield. He continued to inch his way closer to her in hopes that he could intimidate her to move, but she wouldn't.

So, what did this idiot do? He bumped her legs with his car. Yup, he actually hit her. All this, with his wife and kids in the car with him. The cops were called and he was arrested on the spot. I'm sure that was a proud moment for him and his family.

If I see someone standing in a spot when the lot is full, I go about my way and find another one. It's slightly annoying, but I have generally gotten over it by the time I actually find a spot.

I don't understand the passive aggressive attitude of some people and the way they walk extra slow or sit in their car for no reason at all other then to tick off someone wanting their spot. Does it make you feel powerful or superior? What is the reason behind doing this? Is seems so immature, I just can't imagine an adult willingly doing this.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

If I'm the one who is being "vultured", and I know it, I will try to get to my vehicle as quickly as possible, and leave. Deliberately making someone who you know is waiting, is passive-aggressive, which is not very mature.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with "vulturing", as you call it, if there are NO parking spots available. As long as the vulture isn't riding right on your heels, calling you names, or that type of thing.

It is immature behavior like this that leads to road rage.

 

[furb & dez]

Isn't it obvious? Carrying two small children can be tough. It is obvious you do not have kids.

As I've pointed out several times before, nice guess, but you're wrong, love the "judging," hon.

The "obvious" reason she mentioned it was that she was attempting to paint herself as the "poor, suffering woman, forced to schlepp her two young children, all alone, with no one to lighten her burden," while the "fit, 40-something man and his attractive wife" jump happily from their convenient parking spot.

In essence, it was just a sympathy ploy by the original poster. Sorry honey, you chose to have kids. No sympathy here, "them's the breaks!"

Perhaps next time, she'll leave earlier to get a better parking spot? As my boss loves to say, "Lack of preparation or planning on your part does not make an emergency on my part."

 

[136368]

Should have run them over

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well when I see someone with young children, a pregnant woman, elderly people or disabled people in their group I will always give them my space, hold a door or give them my seat. I know how much work it is to get around with two children but even when I am with my children I try to accommodate other people's needs above our own much as possible. I think that is the cornerstone of civility and respect for others. The very reason I didn't push the issue of the parking space was because I thought the lady was waiting for family members who may be elderly, have young children or with special needs. Having a 1 and a 3 year old, while a lot of work, is nothing compared to the needs many other families have. However I was doubly frustrated when I saw the lady's able-bodied husband spring out of the car.She chose to hold it for him knowing it would mean a mom and two toddlers having to park much farther away. (She could very obviously see the kids in their car seats) I just find it inconsiderate.



I think it's abhorrent that people take handicapped spots-it takes a special kind of entitled jerk to think that is acceptable even for a second. I am sorry you have to deal with it.

Would I have given up the spot if a handicapped or elderly person pulled in behind me? Absolutely!!! It is only good manners and in a crowded parking lot they should absolutely take precedence over a healthy 27 year old and her two kids. I also routinely let people go ahead of me in line, hold doors for people and say please and thank you. It's all part and parcel of treating people the way they should be, with respect.

I must disagree that she "got it first" however. She had already parked her car elsewhere and then chose to tie up a parking spot for about 15 minutes while cars were circling. I don't think a pedestrian should do that. Had her husband beat me to the space I would never dream of asking him to move-that would have been as selfish as I am accusing her of being! I just think it's wrong for a person to "claim" a spot like that. She is not a car, the spots are for whichever car gets to them first

Of course I can accept that we just may disagree on this

While I understand that it is annoying I cannot really believe that every time you park your car you check the cars behind you and assess if they need the spot more than you. Do you knock on their windows to see if they are elderly or ill? Sorry but I cannot even imagine anyone actually doing that. If you do then you are the only person I have ever heard of doing that and that is wonderful. I too hold doors help others etc. but I can't imagine checking the lot for a more needy person before I park.

TO Everyone else- I have 5 kids. I want a parking space directly in front of every place I go and a cookie. I want the cookie because, well, who doesn't want a cookie?

 

[Sydnie]

As I've pointed out several times before, nice guess, but you're wrong, love the "judging," hon.

The "obvious" reason she mentioned it was that she was attempting to paint herself as the "poor, suffering woman, forced to schlepp her two young children, all alone, with no one to lighten her burden," while the "fit, 40-something man and his attractive wife" jump happily from their convenient parking spot.

In essence, it was just a sympathy ploy by the original poster. Sorry honey, you chose to have kids. No sympathy here, "them's the breaks!"

Perhaps next time, she'll leave earlier to get a better parking spot? As my boss loves to say, "Lack of preparation or planning on your part does not make an emergency on my part."

Ouch.

I think I have explained my feelings in a respectful and temperate way, I am not sure what I did to deserve your scorn? I did choose to have kids and I don't expect any special treatment. Selfish parents and their precious offspring are absolutely part of the problem in our culture of entitlement. In my opinion any person who came upon that open parking space deserved to have it more than the pedestrian who chose to block it from other cars. This is not Animal Farm, I am no more equal than anyone else I thought that a person holding a space for someone in a car is rude, and more so because it was not because that person had any special needs.

And it would have been lovely to go earlier but I was treating my mother to dinner and she works so this was the earliest feasible time. Perhaps I should have gone way before with my children, set up a pack and play in a parking spot and waved cars off until she could get there?

 

[Sydnie]

While I understand that it is annoying I cannot really believe that every time you park your car you check the cars behind you and assess if they need the spot more than you. Do you knock on their windows to see if they are elderly or ill? Sorry but I cannot even imagine anyone actually doing that. If you do then you are the only person I have ever heard of doing that and that is wonderful. I too hold doors help others etc. but I can't imagine checking the lot for a more needy person before I park.

No, no of course not! But if I had pulled into a spot and a car pulled behind me with an elderly or disabled person in it and asked if I could possibly have my spot I would move without a moment's hesitation, ESPECIALLY if it were the last spot in the lot.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

No, no of course not! But if I had pulled into a spot and a car pulled behind me with an elderly or disabled person in it and asked if I could possibly have my spot I would move without a moment's hesitation, ESPECIALLY if it were the last spot in the lot.

Oh okay. That makes sense. I would let them have it too if they asked.

 

[tlbwriter]

No, no of course not! But if I had pulled into a spot and a car pulled behind me with an elderly or disabled person in it and asked if I could possibly have my spot I would move without a moment's hesitation, ESPECIALLY if it were the last spot in the lot.

I'm afraid that offering to do something if asked, when no one in their right mind is actually going to ask you, isn't much of a burden.

 

[Sydnie]

There are many things people do every day without being asked that make society an inherently more civilized place. The parking spot example is a narrow one, granted, because you can not presume to know other people's needs while they are anonymously trailing you in a car. I was just mentioning it because we are speaking of parking lots.

But things like holding doors, letting people with fewer items go ahead of you at the store,and speaking respectfully all make up the fabric of our society. Sure not one of them take more than a couple moments of kindness but I think they are invaluable. No one asks you to do them but it just seems like good manners and common sense.

If I saw someone carrying a stack of books and they dropped them, I would help them pick them up. I would let them go ahead of me in line at the check out. Should I stand back and ignore them because they chose to grab more books than they could easily handle or should I attempt to help them? I refuse to believe that it is passe to extend courtesy to others around us.

 

[Angelhalo]

There are many things people do every day without being asked that make society an inherently more civilized place. The parking spot example is a narrow one, granted, because you can not presume to know other people's needs while they are anonymously trailing you in a car. I was just mentioning it because we are speaking of parking lots.

But things like holding doors, letting people with fewer items go ahead of you at the store,and speaking respectfully all make up the fabric of our society. Sure not one of them take more than a couple moments of kindness but I think they are invaluable. No one asks you to do them but it just seems like good manners and common sense.

If I saw someone carrying a stack of books and they dropped them, I would help them pick them up. I would let them go ahead of me in line at the check out. Should I stand back and ignore them because they chose to grab more books than they could easily handle or should I attempt to help them? I refuse to believe that it is passe to extended courtesy to others around us.

Don't let it get to you OP. There's a negative Nelly/pot stirrer/Devil's advocate type of person for anything you post on here. Of course as a DECENT human being, courtesy seems like a normal part of life. Even *gasp* doing nice things for no reason! I know....LUNACY!

There was actually a thread here once where a lady was talking about how good she felt because she paid for the food in the drive thru line for the people behind her and people went into a rant about how rude she was for assuming they couldn't pay for their own, or how they wouldn't like for someone to pay for them because they would think it meant the generous person was looking down on them, or wanted something from them. With a society that has become so angry, bitter, and cynical, it's no wonder common courtesy doesn't seem very common anymore. And then the same people gripe about how horrible our society is becoming. I don't understand how they can't see that they are part of the problem with all their anger.

As for vulturing I can't possibly see why I should care if someone wants my spot. I like getting good parking spots too! So if I am leaving one, and someone wants it, I scoot out quickly and let them have it. How is it hurting me in ANY way to get moving out of my space and get on with my day and let them have it? To deliberately stall and linger just to punish them for having the audacity to want the spot that I am clearly leaving, is one of the most baffling passive aggressive, and non-sensical things I have ever heard. That is just rude and mean. No wonder our world is going to heck in a handbasket. It seems the number of people who actually give a darn about anyone else is rapidly diminishing.

 

[cat83]

As for the "vulturing"- I can kind of understand. Some people practically run over my ankles trying to get my spot...

I have no problem with somebody respectfully waiting back with their turn signal on once they see where my spot is, but I DO hate when someone follows me within inches through the parking lot, with no idea where I am going. Unless it is the holidays and there are no available spots, there is no reason to invade my personal space and make me feel rushed and stalked.

 

[BellvilleDad]

Ouch.

I think I have explained my feelings in a respectful and temperate way, I am not sure what I did to deserve your scorn?

You've done nothing to deserve being replied-to in such a disrespectful manner.

 

[Missy1961]

That was a pretty common thing where we lived on Long Island (holding spots). It was the norm, not considered rude at all. Maybe this person is from a place like that? If businesses were required to provide adequate parking for their patrons,this sort of thing wouldn't be necessary.

That's so rude!



What part of LI? I've lived here almost my entire life and I've never seen anyone do this double park, yes but not hold a spot.

I lived in Babylon and Amityville most of the time, but this happened everywhere. I saw it all the time in "downtown" areas, like on Deer Park Ave in Babylon Village. It was also common at Christmas time in the malls. Basically, everywhere that there was a parking shortage, I saw it - including NYC. I noticed it because it wasn't necessary where I grew up (Alabama) - we had no parking shortage. I thought it strange, but accepted it as the norm in those areas.

We drove around in circles looking for spots - that is what most people did - but I can't imagine how many times I saw a car door open and a passenger run to hold a spot while the driver brought the car around. Heck, I have even seen it in really bad weather.

I've never seen it either and I've lived here my whole life.

Another Long ISlander chiming in. Not the norm. Sorry.

Another LIer here--I live close to Amityville--and I've never seen this at all.

I don't drive. I walk thru parking lots sometimes & I have to admit to being amused when people 'vulture' me until I get far away from the front door.

 

[HOGFAN]

yes, it is rude BUT the part about having to carry 2 kids and a diaper bag is irrelevant...