Ugh-- awful day at work

[kilee]

I am the office manager for 1 of the offices I bill for. Anyhow, the doctor of this practice called me last night and told me she wanted me to hold an 8:30 am mtg today to have the staff discuss "things" and get caught up on any changes, ect. "So she doesn't have to hear about them". In other words someone was complaing to her again and wants me to stop them.

So, I get all the staff to come in early and I rearrange my schedule, as well as our practice administrator rescheduling to show up. Anyhow, the entire 45 minute meeting turned into a complete bashing of my ineffectiveness and unprofessionalism fest. I was so sideblinded by this that I couldn't even find the words to put a stop to it. I've been so upset and furious all day. They took so many phrases out of context and turned them against me. It was awful.

An example--- back in Jan (yes 5 months ago) I was talking to the one person about being called into the office for a computer issue at 6pm on my son's bday, and having to postpone dinner because of it. The person then was telling me how she wanted to take off her DS bday cause she always ends up working late that day. I told her kiddingly-- tough luck-- we don't give bdays off. We both laughed, she had the day off. We were talking friendly-- it was all jokingly said 5 months ago!!!! Anyhow, today she said she asked for a day off and I repsonded w/ "tough luck". The whole thing was 1 phrase of a friendly kidding conversation!!! She had the day off w/o issue!!!!

Anyhow, these were the sorts of things they were bringing up. Her and another employee made a list and decided to review it at this meeting in front of everyone. But not one single thing was said in the context they made it sound like I said it.

I've never been in this situation before-- I don't know how to handle this. I know they think they got the best of me-- "put me in my place".

Any advice?? I'm really dreading tomorrow because I really don't know how to handle this whole thing.

 

[DMickey28]

Wow...

I wish I had some strong words of advice to you. I am rather inexperienced in management, only a year or so under my belt, but my first instinct would be to have a one on one with each person to discuss these "issues" with them.....

Not sure if that's the best thing, but that's probally what I would do.

Good Luck...

 

[Pop Daddy]

long post

 

[bentley483]

I was in management for a couple of years before I came home to be with DD. Here is my advice for what it is worth.

I agree that you should have a one on one with the employees that have complaints. Remind everyone that if they have a problem they are expected to come to you, not discuss it between themselves. However, don't let it become a heated discussion. Apologize for any misunderstandings and let them know exactly what you meant or didn't mean by any comments made to them. Do not try to explain anything to them related to anyone else. Stick strictly with the person you are having the meeting with. I'm sure they all felt very confident bashing you and coming up with a suitable "problem" when they were in a group.

Don't try to be their friend. Be friendly, but keep it on a supervisor/employee level. I have found that when you try to support a friendship with people who you are over they resent it when you have to call them to task for something or ask them to do anything other than what's in their job description.

Don't confide in employees. If you do, there is a possibility for your words to be repeated and twisted to suit that person's purpose. I know all of this sounds harsh, but you are the supervisor. You are ultimately responsible for what comes out of this department and they need to respect you. If you have people there who don't, that needs to be rectified ASAP.

Good luck, and don't take any of the criticism personally.

 

[kilee]

I didn't take anything you said personally--- advice is what I asked for. I really can't believe how personally this affected me. I feel like I got no backing up on the siutation from the administrator. I felt like he left me out there to dry. When I attempted to discuss this w/ him afterwards he acted distracted and said he didn't take what they said worth a grain of salt. I think his behavior bothered me just as much. If I have no backing in my actions, then why bother???

 

[s&k'smom]

Oh honey I'm so sorry. But I know exactly how you feel. I've been in a similar situation and though I admit my part in past mistakes now that I've left the job I realize a lot of it was the people "reporting" on me. They were a sick bunch. I wish I could take you out to coffee and we could has it out because I so identify with what you said. Take care.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

put them in there place. they want to bran you as difficult then be difficult. let them know the difference. next birthday tell them no off day. or fire them

 

[bentley483]

I didn't mean that I was criticizing you! I meant your employees criticism. People in positions of authority are always "reported on" if there is anyone to report it to. No one likes to be told what to do and everyone has their own opinion of what their job description is. If your administrator wouldn't back you up, don't worry about it. If they thought you were in the wrong they would have taken you to task over it. Instead, they let you handle it yourself, which is the result of having faith and trust in you.

 

[spagheddie]

That's awful.

I came across this really funny book, called something like "How to Become an Evil Mastermind". I suggest reading it and then sysytematically ruin their lives. In a fun, tick them off, make them quit kind of way!

 

[Christine]

Just my small "2 cents" on this. I am not a manager (thank god) but I have been in my company so long that I am a senior person and I often fill in for my boss when he is gone. So, while I am friendly with all of the employees they do view me as "quasi-management." Since this has happened, I have found that some of the employees are quite sensitive and scared of my jokes. I mean I have quite an ascerbic sense of humor and I do a lot of joking around. On the negative side of that, I always dress very professionally and have quite a conservative and uptight look about me, even though I feel like I'm about 14 years old!!!

Well, sometimes the more junior employees don't realize when I'm joking. Always kind of freaks me out. So, you know what, I'm still friendly, but I don't joke with them anymore. It kind of freaks them out or they just don't know how to take me. Could that be the possibility here. I mean while you and this other co-worker were *joking* about the birthday issue, did she really perceive that you didn't want her to get the day off, even though she got it off? I find many people to be extremely thin-skinned when it comes to their jobs and performance.

 

[Keli]

Have these two workers been a problem for you in the past or were you shocked by their attitude? If they are problem employees then I would speak to them about their concerns personally and then let it go. I would stop all joking with them altogether though and treat them fairly but with a bit of distance (not too friendly or personal in my dealings).
If they have always been good employees and you had no idea they were upset about anything then I would basically do the same thing except that I would go out of my way to let them know that I value them as an employee and I wouldn't necessarily put the distance between us although I would stop the joking in either case.

 

[GIGGLES266]

Ugh, been there, done that. I agree with the other posters that suggested you meet with the people individually. I would go a step further as well. I would set up monthly meetings with all of the staff that report to you on an individual basis. Let them know that they will be expected to bring any issues (good and bad) to the table at that time. Once your staff know that each month they have your ear and you expect them to participate in the meeting, you may be surprised at how the mood changes. During those meetings do not be afraid to reiterate how you expect each employee to handle themselves outside of the meetings. If you do not see a change in behavior after a couple of months, cut them lose!