TukityTukers
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2010
Hi everyone,
My name's Tukity-Tukers, named after my pet lovebird TukiTuki, also known as Tukers or Tukity Tukers. He's such a sweetheart and I love him to death! Anyway, here's a little bit about me and how I got to be so dang big:
I'm 32 and have been married for a bit over a year. We don't have kids yet, but want to start trying in January, which means I need to get healthy! This has been a rough year so far for my husband and I. Tuki got lead poisoning while staying at my mom's place during a vacation and he nearly died. Now, he's permanently slightly disabled and we're still paying off his $1500+ vet bill. My husband also hasn't been able to find work here in California, after being laid off from his teaching position at the beginning of last year (the school district guaranteed him a job in writing, and then didn't come through). Needless to say, money's been a bit tight. On top of all that, my husband was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. One of his testicles was removed and it was in stage one, which is the best news I've had all year. We're choosing to watch carefully and we have a 15% chance of it coming back. He'll have to be monitored for the rest of his life, but that's a small price to pay for his health.
I currently work full time and am going to school full time (I turn in my last final tonight). I'm studying child development and plan to become a teacher. It's been a really rough schedule for me, working Sundays-Thursdays, going to school at night Mon-Thurs, volunteering at a school on Fridays, and having a class on Saturdays. No day off - what was I thinking?!
During my childhood, I experienced some abuse by a family member. I always ran from it and never knew just how much it affected me until I became an adult. I had to stop counseling because of my schedule, but I hope to start up again this summer. My parents also divorced when I was young and I discovered what a terrible, neglectful dad I had. We've been out of touch for 15ish years, and he doesn't keep in touch with any of his 3 children because we all feel we're better off without the pain he brings to our lives. I think this, too, has added to my current issues and it another thing for me to work through in counseling.
What all this means is I've grown up really insecure and lost and looking to food for comfort. It's been there for me when I'm stressed, depressed, bored, angry.. it's been a constant through everything. When I met my husband, he was perfect for me, but that scared me more than anything. I'd already had a pattern of gaining weight because of feeling vulnerable in relationships and this was no different. I used weight to push people away, but I couldn't push my husband away. I gained and gained and gained. My wedding dress had to be altered to fit all the extra-me in. When I started going to school again, my husband took over cooking, which has meant cheap fast food, cheap and unhealthy frozen food, and a lot of unhealthy meaty meals with butter for the sauce. We've both gained, but me more than him.
So now I'm at the highest weight in my life. I've got up around 6 sizes in pants since I've met my husband. I also find myself in quite a unique situation. My husband, who is from Philadelphia, was offered a position teaching there. He'll get to earn a Master's degree (his 2nd) while teaching. He'll get paid full-time, his school will be paid for, and best of all, he'll have really good insurance. So he's moving on June 12th and I'm staying here to finish the first part of my degree. I won't be moving until January 5, so we'll be apart for nearly 7 months. =(
But, that means I have 7 whole months to take control of my life, to eat healthier, and to get in better shape. I plan to do my absolute best to stick to a diet and get healthy, all without telling him. I'm hoping it'll be a really happy surprise to step off the plane and have a skinnier me run to his arms! I can't lose everything I need to in that amount of time, but I can certainly become a smaller me.
What do I weigh? I haven't got a clue! I'm too scared to weigh myself and I don't want to get so hung up on a number that I get depressed. My jeans size is depressing enough. But I can monitor my weight loss using Wii Fit. It'll tell me how many pounds I've lost without my ever having to see the big number. I know I have 100+ to lose, but we'll see what happens. Anything I lose will make me healthier than I am now, and that's all that matters.
I start doing the plan fulltime on June 12. Not before then because my husband and I are trying to squeeze in as many date nights as we can before he leaves, and because I'm perfectly okay with eating a little junk food after all we've been through lately (his surgery was 3 weeks ago today). I can break those bad habits when we reunite. For now, I just want to have a few more happy weeks with my husband.
My name's Tukity-Tukers, named after my pet lovebird TukiTuki, also known as Tukers or Tukity Tukers. He's such a sweetheart and I love him to death! Anyway, here's a little bit about me and how I got to be so dang big:
I'm 32 and have been married for a bit over a year. We don't have kids yet, but want to start trying in January, which means I need to get healthy! This has been a rough year so far for my husband and I. Tuki got lead poisoning while staying at my mom's place during a vacation and he nearly died. Now, he's permanently slightly disabled and we're still paying off his $1500+ vet bill. My husband also hasn't been able to find work here in California, after being laid off from his teaching position at the beginning of last year (the school district guaranteed him a job in writing, and then didn't come through). Needless to say, money's been a bit tight. On top of all that, my husband was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. One of his testicles was removed and it was in stage one, which is the best news I've had all year. We're choosing to watch carefully and we have a 15% chance of it coming back. He'll have to be monitored for the rest of his life, but that's a small price to pay for his health.
I currently work full time and am going to school full time (I turn in my last final tonight). I'm studying child development and plan to become a teacher. It's been a really rough schedule for me, working Sundays-Thursdays, going to school at night Mon-Thurs, volunteering at a school on Fridays, and having a class on Saturdays. No day off - what was I thinking?!
During my childhood, I experienced some abuse by a family member. I always ran from it and never knew just how much it affected me until I became an adult. I had to stop counseling because of my schedule, but I hope to start up again this summer. My parents also divorced when I was young and I discovered what a terrible, neglectful dad I had. We've been out of touch for 15ish years, and he doesn't keep in touch with any of his 3 children because we all feel we're better off without the pain he brings to our lives. I think this, too, has added to my current issues and it another thing for me to work through in counseling.
What all this means is I've grown up really insecure and lost and looking to food for comfort. It's been there for me when I'm stressed, depressed, bored, angry.. it's been a constant through everything. When I met my husband, he was perfect for me, but that scared me more than anything. I'd already had a pattern of gaining weight because of feeling vulnerable in relationships and this was no different. I used weight to push people away, but I couldn't push my husband away. I gained and gained and gained. My wedding dress had to be altered to fit all the extra-me in. When I started going to school again, my husband took over cooking, which has meant cheap fast food, cheap and unhealthy frozen food, and a lot of unhealthy meaty meals with butter for the sauce. We've both gained, but me more than him.
So now I'm at the highest weight in my life. I've got up around 6 sizes in pants since I've met my husband. I also find myself in quite a unique situation. My husband, who is from Philadelphia, was offered a position teaching there. He'll get to earn a Master's degree (his 2nd) while teaching. He'll get paid full-time, his school will be paid for, and best of all, he'll have really good insurance. So he's moving on June 12th and I'm staying here to finish the first part of my degree. I won't be moving until January 5, so we'll be apart for nearly 7 months. =(
But, that means I have 7 whole months to take control of my life, to eat healthier, and to get in better shape. I plan to do my absolute best to stick to a diet and get healthy, all without telling him. I'm hoping it'll be a really happy surprise to step off the plane and have a skinnier me run to his arms! I can't lose everything I need to in that amount of time, but I can certainly become a smaller me.
What do I weigh? I haven't got a clue! I'm too scared to weigh myself and I don't want to get so hung up on a number that I get depressed. My jeans size is depressing enough. But I can monitor my weight loss using Wii Fit. It'll tell me how many pounds I've lost without my ever having to see the big number. I know I have 100+ to lose, but we'll see what happens. Anything I lose will make me healthier than I am now, and that's all that matters.
I start doing the plan fulltime on June 12. Not before then because my husband and I are trying to squeeze in as many date nights as we can before he leaves, and because I'm perfectly okay with eating a little junk food after all we've been through lately (his surgery was 3 weeks ago today). I can break those bad habits when we reunite. For now, I just want to have a few more happy weeks with my husband.
