TTC thread take 2

[esbrick]

Hi everyone! Just checking in as a graduate of this forum! I was so blessed to be a part of this forum 3 years ago. Through the miracle of science we conceived a baby boy who is now 2 years old God bless him.

Apirateslife we too used donor eggs and it was quite a process. Please feel free to pm me for details. When we made our decision we based it on mostly my attributes as the baby would end up getting my DH's attributes genetically. The result, our DS is the spitting image of my DH! When I gave birth I actually said "OMG I just gave birth to my husband!!" I truly believe that God and science has a way of working these things out as there are some characteristics my son has that are 100% me and not my DH or the donor.

I hope the best for you all through your journeys and send hope your way daily.

E

 

[esbrick]

Thanks, Joanne! I remember you too! Thrilled to see 'DS 1' in your siggy.

Hi there! I remember you both from 2011, so glad to read your news and wishing you both much joy!

 

[esbrick]

After four years, we finally got our BFP. I hope this brings you who are still trying hope, and not despair!

So happy for you!!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Hi everyone! Just checking in as a graduate of this forum! I was so blessed to be a part of this forum 3 years ago. Through the miracle of science we conceived a baby boy who is now 2 years old God bless him.

Apirateslife we too used donor eggs and it was quite a process. Please feel free to pm me for details. When we made our decision we based it on mostly my attributes as the baby would end up getting my DH's attributes genetically. The result, our DS is the spitting image of my DH! When I gave birth I actually said "OMG I just gave birth to my husband!!" I truly believe that God and science has a way of working these things out as there are some characteristics my son has that are 100% me and not my DH or the donor.

I hope the best for you all through your journeys and send hope your way daily.

E

We had the same feeling on our donor - we wanted someone "like me" because the baby will get DH's genes anyway. I think we moved slightly away from physically like me, however, but we stuck with the artistic type, which is completely me. After we'd made our decision, it struck me that our donor's baby/little girl photos look like DH's sister as a baby - so I guess if it succeeds, our kid is going to be all that side of the family!

We actually found it quite easy, using the frozen egg bank (while we're on the waiting list for a fresh cycle)...we chose our donor on Monday, signed and returned the paperwork that night, and the egg bank called about 2 hours ago for payment. I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right this minute. Also just spent 30 minutes on the phone with the credit card company to make sure the payment goes through...that was more of a fiasco; I have no idea what account I used to pay the bill in July and how would I know how the charge is going to be coded? I almost told the guy, "I'm buying body parts on the internet, how does that get coded?"

 

[esbrick]

We had the same feeling on our donor - we wanted someone "like me" because the baby will get DH's genes anyway. I think we moved slightly away from physically like me, however, but we stuck with the artistic type, which is completely me. After we'd made our decision, it struck me that our donor's baby/little girl photos look like DH's sister as a baby - so I guess if it succeeds, our kid is going to be all that side of the family! We actually found it quite easy, using the frozen egg bank (while we're on the waiting list for a fresh cycle)...we chose our donor on Monday, signed and returned the paperwork that night, and the egg bank called about 2 hours ago for payment. I'm feeling all kinds of emotions right this minute. Also just spent 30 minutes on the phone with the credit card company to make sure the payment goes through...that was more of a fiasco; I have no idea what account I used to pay the bill in July and how would I know how the charge is going to be coded? I almost told the guy, "I'm buying body parts on the internet, how does that get coded?"

We did similar. I really appreciated reading her family background and she is a reader and liked the same books that I did which I really liked. I believe that she and I would have been friends. I wish you and your DH much luck with your journey and definitely, as with the other ladies here send lots of pixie dust your way!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Okay, I don't know what my problem is, but I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm having every emotion happening all at once and it's overwhelming me. Happy, sad, excited, nervous, etc.

I start the BCP tonight and we go on Tuesday morning to sign the final consent forms and get the timeline. I think the nurse said something about having a progesterone test on the 26th and if all is good, they'll begin the thaw process. I'm scared of those progesterone shots...I have really bad pain in my back right in the two spots where I'll be having those injections every night (a lovely permanent side effect of all the surgeries). It's the kind of pain that can't be treated - painkillers, hot bath, heating pad doesn't help - it hurts no matter what position I'm in - sitting, standing, lying down - it only goes away after 6-8 hours. I can only imagine how painful those shots are going to be in those areas as well. DH is scared of having to give me those shots as well - my mom, a medical assistant, is going to be coming over to help for the first week or so. Let me just say, too, I didn't have a needle phobia until we did all this IVF stuff. I have a very high pain threshold, but those injections were PAINFUL. I thought I was doing them wrong because everyone said they don't hurt, but mine hurt A LOT.

And I'm also having doubts as to my ability to be a good mother. I've only had to take care of myself for almost 40 years. My husband and my pets are relatively self-sufficient, as compared to a baby. At least if this works, I have the better part of a year to figure it out.

 

[esbrick]

Congrats Christine! I remember you from 2011 when I was active on this thread (I still lurk here!) I'm so happy you finally have your BFP.

Joanne! I was just peeking in and noticed that you have a son! That's wonderful! I believe we live close so maybe we can meet up at some point! Take care!

 

[nicolita3]

It was a bad day today. After years of trying we finally decided to talk to my gyn about getting help to conceive and I was so nervous well she starts out by saying "you already know what I am going to say, you are overweight, if you were thin I would put you on clomid and check your husbands SA, your blood, and your tubes but there's no point." I went home and I can't stop crying. I know life isn't fair it just sucks when there are people much heavier who get pregnant without trying, we just want to start our family so bad. I have been going to a gym the past three months and have been going regular I even lost 10 pounds its just so frustrating...

 

[Skip2MyLou]

It was a bad day today. After years of trying we finally decided to talk to my gyn about getting help to conceive and I was so nervous well she starts out by saying "you already know what I am going to say, you are overweight, if you were thin I would put you on clomid and check your husbands SA, your blood, and your tubes but there's no point." I went home and I can't stop crying. I know life isn't fair it just sucks when there are people much heavier who get pregnant without trying, we just want to start our family so bad. I have been going to a gym the past three months and have been going regular I even lost 10 pounds its just so frustrating...

As an infertility survivor, please... Please find a new dr. Someone who has a better bedside manor.

Yes weight can play a factor, but there is no reason you should be having those other things checked to make sure there aren't other issues.

If your tubes are blocked or your DH has low sperm count, then it won't matter if you lose weight... You still won't get pregnant.

Please don't lose hope. And PLEASE find a new dr.

 

[eacosper]

It was a bad day today. After years of trying we finally decided to talk to my gyn about getting help to conceive and I was so nervous well she starts out by saying "you already know what I am going to say, you are overweight, if you were thin I would put you on clomid and check your husbands SA, your blood, and your tubes but there's no point." I went home and I can't stop crying. I know life isn't fair it just sucks when there are people much heavier who get pregnant without trying, we just want to start our family so bad. I have been going to a gym the past three months and have been going regular I even lost 10 pounds its just so frustrating...

PLEASE go find a new doctor!! I am overweight and my DH and I are struggling to conceive as well. My Dr said that weight is yes a factor but not a big one. That should NEVER stop them from trying every avenue that they have to get you pregnant. Please don't let this get you down. I've shed enough tears about being big, AND about being childless, you shouldn't have to as well (tears help us feel better, but don't let a nasty doc make you feel bad about being you!!). Keep doing what you are doing!

 

[nicolita3]

As an infertility survivor, please... Please find a new dr. Someone who has a better bedside manor.

Yes weight can play a factor, but there is no reason you should be having those other things checked to make sure there aren't other issues.

If your tubes are blocked or your DH has low sperm count, then it won't matter if you lose weight... You still won't get pregnant.

Please don't lose hope. And PLEASE find a new dr.

I am going to find a new Dr its hard I have been googling but am worried since that is how I found the last one. I've asked a few people who they see and they either haven't gone in years or just go to their gp. Hopefully I find one I like. I've just been so down the past couple of days. I know I'm still young I'm 29. I am going to keep working out and hopefully find someone who can help me or work with me and at least say I'll test you guys and once you get to x amount of weight we start on this treatment or whatever instead of saying there's no point.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

It was a bad day today. After years of trying we finally decided to talk to my gyn about getting help to conceive and I was so nervous well she starts out by saying "you already know what I am going to say, you are overweight, if you were thin I would put you on clomid and check your husbands SA, your blood, and your tubes but there's no point." I went home and I can't stop crying. I know life isn't fair it just sucks when there are people much heavier who get pregnant without trying, we just want to start our family so bad. I have been going to a gym the past three months and have been going regular I even lost 10 pounds its just so frustrating...

I just noticed this...try a reproductive endocrinologist. I wasn't even trying to get pregnant when I started having my problems, and my gyn wouldn't touch them (unless I was willing to have a hysterectomy). She immediately gave me a referral to an RE. I haven't even seen my gyn in almost 3 years now.

That said...I, too, am "a little larger" and the only time my weight was mentioned was to be tentatively scheduled for an anesthesia consult. I did bring it up one other time to my doctor, "I'm 5'1" with a large frame, I weighed 100 lbs. at 10 years old." She smiled, rolled her eyes, shook her head and said, "Yeah, it's not an issue, you're not that big, you carry it well, you're healthy in every other respect, your uterus looks really good," etc. She just later shrugged and said, "When you do get pregnant, you may not want to gain a lot of weight, that's all." And yesterday, I went for monitoring, and DH pointed out that there were other ladies there who were FAR heavier than me (and probably about the same age). So whichever doctor they have is letting them do it - sounds like to the RE, it's not that big of a factor

 

[nicolita3]

Thank you all for your support. I don't really have anyone around who I can talk to who understands. I will definitely start looking for an RE.

 

[nicolita3]

Ok so I called a RE that everyone seems to rave about in local message boards and I have an appointment for this Monday. I'm so nervous, this time my DH is going to come with me for support.

 

[skuttle]

Ok so I called a RE that everyone seems to rave about in local message boards and I have an appointment for this Monday. I'm so nervous, this time my DH is going to come with me for support.

Good luck!! Having an RE you trust and feel comfortable with is so important. There is enough stress involved with infertility! You don't need a doctor to add to that. So many things affect TTC.

If your dh hasn't been checked out, he definitely needs to be. My dr only did so many tests before she required that my dh get tested as well. We both ended up with issues.

 

[nicolita3]

Good luck!! Having an RE you trust and feel comfortable with is so important. There is enough stress involved with infertility! You don't need a doctor to add to that. So many things affect TTC.

If your dh hasn't been checked out, he definitely needs to be. My dr only did so many tests before she required that my dh get tested as well. We both ended up with issues.

Does the RE who sees me test DH or does he need to go somewhere else? I'm sorry about all these questions.

 

[skuttle]

Does the RE who sees me test DH or does he need to go somewhere else? I'm sorry about all these questions.

We actually started our infertility work up with my ob/GYN and she sent my dh to a urologist to get checked out. I'm not sure if an RE does that or of they make them go to a urologist. I know when we finally went to an RE they didn't do their own testing for dh.

 

[Minnesota!]

Skuttle - look at your 3 boys!!!!!!! Did you ever imagine there would be a day? They are all adorable!

Nicolita - good luck with your RE appointment! What a great step to take - your previous doc was way out of line with the weight comment.

Hope all of you TTC come up with a handful of joy in 2014!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Does the RE who sees me test DH or does he need to go somewhere else? I'm sorry about all these questions.

Our RE did all of DH's testing. In her office, he and I together are "one patient," so they won't send him to another doctor.

 

[skuttle]

Skuttle - look at your 3 boys!!!!!!! Did you ever imagine there would be a day? They are all adorable!

Aw thanks! I never would have guessed back in 2010 that I'd have another baby, much less two! Fertility is a crazy thing!