Trip planners: Ever feel unappreciated?

[Dorisk3]

The reason your family might be teasing you is that maybe you bring it up too much. For alot of people that enjoy Disney, they like to go, but don't need to talk about it all the time.


I plan our family trips, but rarely talk about it with my husband, because he likes it when we are there, but he has no interest whatsoever in the planning aspect of our vacation.

 

[mouseaddictoldschool]

This is how my family is. We've always been the commando-style planners and travelers. We pulled this crap back in 2000 and swore never again with the whole family. Parents are not bad until my sis and her family jump on board. Then everyone wants us to line everything up and wait around for them while they proceed to follow NO PLANS we suggested! In fact, we rarely travel with them at all any more because of that trip.

However, this november my folks are paying for My family(me, DW, 14 and 10yo) and my sisters family (her, DH, 16 and 13yo), so here we go again!

Lukily, our trips only overlap about 3 days. My family gets about 3 days alone, then a few days with just my dad, then sis pulls into town with mom(no, my folks are not divorced....just wierd schedules) and we spend my family's last two-three days with them. We feel we'll do everything we need to do before they arrive so we can plan on them messing up the rest of the weekend!

You don't have that option, but I would suggest you have backup plans ready. Only plan on eating together and walk where you want to walk and at your pace(fast!) They should get the hint pretty quickly that you want to move along. This may sound petty, but(experience talking), plan the group's trip based upon your wants first. They will jump in if it's a big deal. We always get complaining and blame if things don't go right and it was our idea. Maybe give a part of the trip to plan to them??

 

[mousireid]

Hey you have made the plans and they will turn up. If they decide not to join you or wander off for a while (and YOU may want to get some down time yourself, alone with your DH) then let them go or when you need it let them know. If they do not make an ADR you go right ahead and enjoy it - I think that many people do not understand how a trip can be planned and end up wondering what all the fuss was about becuase they never had to turn up and find out for themselves!
You will have a wonderful trip, doing all the things you love to do and try not to take it all on yourself if they complain or don't like something you planned - each to their own!
If someone is uncomfortable with MNSSHP or costumes, or a dining choice, let them know that they do not HAVE to do it and to enjoy roaming on their own or wandering for a bit, or even getting CS, or resting at the room/resort.
Its okay! You rock the planning! Now the 'enjoy' part is up to them!
P.S> you may never really get the thanks for doing it all but you have the best inbtentions - not everyone is a commando or a planner - otherwise there's be 'too many chiefs and not enough indians!'

 

[tooh8ful]

OP, I TOTALLY get "it". I love love LOVE the details. I have already started planning for our trip NEXT September. I have had ADRs made and park plans for literally, months for our trip next month. I am still tinkering and perfecting every day. In fact, here I am on the Dis at work.
Anyway, several years ago a friend was going with us. She laughed at the amount of planning and plotting I was doing. She said I was obsessed (true but whatever). Anyway, she told me while we were at MK how much she appreciated everything I'd done and she realized how much MORE she had gotten to do and see b/c of my planning. I appreciated her thanks but I really do plan b/c I love it.
She called me a few weeks ago. She and her DH have decided to take their kids on a last minute trip and she needed all the help I could give her. I helped her make BBB appts, ADRs, and plan park days. It was as much fun planning her vacation as it is my own! (well, almost )

Anyway, on to your issue, you made the plans, you gave the opportunity for input, and most importantly you told all the parties your touring style. If they want to keep up, fine. If not, don't let it bother you, that's fine too. I would do as others suggested and give each person a copy of YOUR itenerary for the day, inlcuding ADRs and show times. If they want to stay with you they can, if they want to go their own way and meet up for meals, thats okay too. YOU just make sure you and DH have a wonderful time!

 

[Jennasis]

I thought I might find a few like minded souls to commiserate with me. And the ones who gave me some real food for thought about how I might be contricuting to the famiy's shnanigans, thanks. It always helps to have someone on the outside peek in!

So, what have we learned today?

1. MAke plans for myself and those who want to come with can.

2. I am not responsible for the happiness of others.

3. They may not say "THANKS!" out loud, but the smiles and laughter are what it's all about.

4. If they can't keep up with me, I will leave them in my dust with a text about where to meet up for dinner!

I guess I should try to concentrate on the goodness of those who are as excited as I am. DH, and my Dad and Mom. When the 4 of us went in 2008 my parents poked fun at our frenetic pace AFTER they got home, but raved at how smooth the trip was and about how much we got to see and do, and how we laughed till it hurt for 5 whole days.

 

[bytheblood]

Yes, but not by my household. I only feel this way when I help other family members or friends.

My solution: I no longer make it a point to reach out to people and try to help them. If they come to me, I will help with basic questions, but I do not offer "my services" to people because at the end of the day, they usually do what they want to anyhow. If people want details, I will give those too. Not everybody has the Disney fever like me, so there is no sense in me trying to give it to them.

 

[wanttobeinvienna]

It is really nice to hear someone else feels this way too...

A year ago, I decided I wanted to run the Food and Wine Half. Beautifully, it coincided with MNSSHP. So, my brother, his wife and their 2 kids decided to join us, then my parents, then my sister and her boyfriend, then my husbands parents. That makes a total of 16 of us... It went from a long weekend, to a week long trip.
It is a great idea- great in theory- and will leave great memories. But the planning is going to kick my butt... Everyone wants to eat the sit down meals together. OK- that means 16 people giving input into where and when they want to eat, and suddenly flexibility is OUT THE WINDOW!! Everyone wants everyone else to be at X at Y time because it is something that is important to them. And guess who is the keeper of it all? Yours truly, the one with 4 kids, who works full time recovering from surgery, and it the middle of a very busy football/cheer season!!! I am hoping that the vacation will be a true vacation for me, but pre-season warm up is kicking my butt!!!
Anyways- a lot of words to say I really understand, Dear OP- and hope you can find some joy in the planning!

 

[WaltD4Me]

I wouldn't let it bother you. I planned a large family trip (there was 12 of us) and believe me no one had much interest until we got there. Before we got there, I got alot of eye rolling and teasing about obsessive planning. It was fustrating sometimes, but I knew it was going to be worth it.

On the last day of that trip my family suprised me with a special dinner as a thank you for all the work and the great trip.

 

[kmk1180]

I thought I might find a few like minded souls to commiserate with me. And the ones who gave me some real food for thought about how I might be contricuting to the famiy's shnanigans, thanks. It always helps to have someone on the outside peek in!

So, what have we learned today?

1. MAke plans for myself and those who want to come with can.

2. I am not responsible for the happiness of others.

3. They may not say "THANKS!" out loud, but the smiles and laughter are what it's all about.

4. If they can't keep up with me, I will leave them in my dust with a text about where to meet up for dinner!

I guess I should try to concentrate on the goodness of those who are as excited as I am. DH, and my Dad and Mom. When the 4 of us went in 2008 my parents poked fun at our frenetic pace AFTER they got home, but raved at how smooth the trip was and about how much we got to see and do, and how we laughed till it hurt for 5 whole days.

1-4
That is probable good advice.
Especially #2.
Believe me, I get it, I do. You plan and people change their minds.
Or complain about things when you get there instead of giving input before hand.

Planning is a thankless job.



Enjoy your trip.

 

[btwitkin]

Sorry you feel that way, it's gotta hurt a little. Planning a WDW is not easy, especially for a larger group.

Last year it was my wife and I (33,38), son (5), Sis and BIL (40,43) and 2 neices (10,12). I prepared pretty much everything as far as ADR's, which parks we would go to on a daily basis (based on ADR's), meals off-site, etc...

I asked for a lot of imput and was pretty much told the same thing..."Whatever"

The big difference is that all my work was appreciated and to this day my sister always tells me that I did a great job and made her vacation so much easier. The schedule wasn't set in stone and on-the-fly changes were made, but for the most part, it went exactly as planned.

I love the planning, it is one of my favorite parts. I haven't been on the DISboards since last September. Now that our vacation is booked for November, I am on here every day, along with other sites. It is a blast for me.

Hopefully, once the vacation starts, everyone will have a blast and your efforts will be appreciated.

 

[bgohre]

I feel your pain. I tend to plan all of our vacations. I always ask for input but rarely get it. When I do get it, it's usually a week before we go and everything is already planned. Basically, I don't worry about it. They had their chance and didn't offer any input so they get what I think is best. When planning our trips I always remind myself of one thing. Nobody has a suggestion, but everybody has an opinion!

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

It happens. Not everyone (even those going on our trips) are as into it as DISers. Once we get to the parks, and I see how great the trip is going and how much fun everyone is having, that's all the appreciation I need. My family has gotten to do a lot of special things at Disney (front of the monorail, parties, veteran of the day/lead the Pledge of Allegiance, early ADRs...I could go on and on...and on) because of my uberplanning. Sometimes they stay in the room and miss it, sometimes they tire out and stay in the ACed restaurant, but they're having a great time, and that's really the reason for all the planning.

And now I'm thoroughly jonesing for December!!!!!

 

[Ktharee]

I get teased all the time as the "Vacation Nazi", the group I plan for is now up to 16 people. In the end I get nothing but gratitude and gifts of appreciation. A lot of "I don't know how you do it" comments. I don't need the gifts, it's thanks enough that everyone has a great time!

 

[MouseloverJD]

OP you are not alone. I'm the Disney addict in my family and no one cares about the details of a trip like I do. I usually plan by myself and whenever I seek input from others I always get "whatever." This can be very frustrating b/c once you get there you know if something goes wrong, you're to blame. I've pretty much learned to plan to do things that I like and that I think the other people with me would like. The past two trip were very rewarding because everyone had a good time and they let me know. In May I went with my DSis and her two kids and she said it was one of the best vacations she has ever been on. She found it very relaxing b/c I had already researched everything, made the meal reservations and the hotel.

 

[somagical]

OP, I'm sorry you are dealing with this and feeling the way you are. I have been in similar situations in the past, and these kind of reactions/lack of engagement from others/teasing, can really start to hurt your feelings when you are just trying to create the best possible experience for everyone.

It's so much easier said than done, but know you cannot control everyone's reactions and happiness. You seem to have really given your family a great gift via your planning. Just try to focus on yourself and your DH and how YOU will enjoy the trip for the time being. Half of the fun of Disney (for me anyway) is the anticipation of going...don't rob yourself of that. Hang in there