Tragedy in family- Do we cancel?

[amcjeep4life]

We had a very tragic death in the family today. We were planning on taking our nieces, aged 10 and 12, for their first trip to WDW in September. Today, my DDDBIL, and their Uncle, was killed in a head-on motorcycle accident. Do we cancel the trip, or continue on? I personally think the kids will need this break. But, I don't want the rest of the family thinking we are being callous continuing with plans. His wife was severely injured, and will require months of recovery, assuming she pulls through. They have a 3 y/o son, who will now become the responsibility of the family. I'm afraid my nieces will be afraid to leave, since this accident happened while my BIL and SIL were on vacation in NH. I don't feel it is appropriate to bring it up right now. Should I wait and see how the kids feel in a few weeks? We are currently at 90 days, and the trip is paid. I know we need to cancel before 45 days out, so that does give us some time. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

 

[KMZOB]

I'm sorry I have no advice, just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your family. Sending Thoughts and Prayers your way!

 

[ckphila]

I'm sorry for your loss and for your family.
I would still go it would be better for the kids to see that life goes on and that you can still remember them just because you are having fun doesn't mean that you are forgeting them. I think you are right you will all need a break in 90 days.

 

[Princess Stitch]

Me and my brother took our first trip to disney (well technically my second but was too young to remember the first) the year my parents got divoriced. About a month before we left my grandfather (mom's dad) passed away suddenly. I'm sure it was reallly hard for my mom, and it was hard for me and my bro as well, but we still went. Once you get to Disney you can kinda leave all that other stuff behind because of the happy place it is. My mom also reminded me that my grandpa wouldn't have wanted us to stop our lives or cancel our vacation on his part.

I don't think anyone will call you calous for going 3 months from now on an already planned vacation. I wish your family the best and hope you can move past this tough time.

 

[pbharris4]

Sorry for your loss. It is very tragic to lose someone in a blink of an eye like that. I know from experience. I wouldn't bring it up right now. You still have time. Did the nieces lose their father? I am not sure how the girls are related. WDW would be a nice break for them. I would stick with your plans. It's 3 months away. If it were like a few weeks away I would reconsider, but life has to go on. Several months after my mother died we went to WDW and I felt soooo much better. She died suddenly and I had to go to therapy and take anti anxiety meds. When I went to WDW I realized that it was OK to be happy again and that's what my mom would have wanted. In a few weeks bring the subject up. I'm sure they'd still like to go and it would probably be good for them to get things off their minds.

 

[WebmasterKathy]

I'm very sorry to hear about the tragedy in your family.

I think the best course is to not make *any* decisions right away after a huge loss. You have some time; wait and see how you and the girls are feeling in a few weeks.

 

[If U Had Wings]

I too would wait to see how they feel after a few weeks. A chance for a change of pace, may be just what they need at that point.

 

[Cee]

If this tragedy tells us anything, it's that life is way too short. Don't waste one
single minute you have with family and friends. And if you have the opportunity
to go to WDW with them? Well, that's a no-brainer IMO. I agree to wait a few
weeks to broach the subject, but then go ahead. You'll need a little Disney
when the dust settles. All the best to your family.

 

[Coopsmum77]

I am so sorry about your loss. It is hard to lose anyone, but even harder when they are young and it is so sudden.

I wouldn't cancel. It is still far enough away that no one should think it's wrong. Just an idea for you, if you can swing it and it is feasible. Maybe take along the little one. I'm sure a break from the hard reality of life would be welcome for him.

 

[the_princess]

I'm sorry about what happen to your family...
I think you should go, it would be good for your family and it still 90 days away. things would be different if it was next week... I don't think anyone would find that wrong...

 

[connie1042]

I am not sure what DDDBIL means. I got the brother-in law part, but not sure how everyone is related. My son was killed in a car accident in 1991. Myself, my daughter, and some friends had a trip to Disneyland planned, three weeeks after the accident. Everything was paid for. ( 2 of her sons were in the accident also, but were not hurt.) She said she told the kids we were not going on the trip, and I said yes we are. Granted it was hard, but not going was not going to change anything. I did cry a few times during that trip, but that was okay. Everything is going to be different for the family. No matter what you do life will never be the same. Things do get better. It will be 16 years this Aug. My son was 16 when he died. He will alway be 16 to me. Go and have a good time. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Thinktinknpixiedust]

Even with everything that's going on perhaps your neices are still looking forward to the trip... assuming they already knew they were going. This is such a horrible thing to have happen, but kids are pretty resiliant and they may be looking more forward to it now...

3 months seems like just enough time out... I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[kimis]

We had a very tragic death in the family today. We were planning on taking our nieces, aged 10 and 12, for their first trip to WDW in September. Today, my DDDBIL, and their Uncle, was killed in a head-on motorcycle accident. Do we cancel the trip, or continue on? I personally think the kids will need this break. But, I don't want the rest of the family thinking we are being callous continuing with plans. His wife was severely injured, and will require months of recovery, assuming she pulls through. They have a 3 y/o son, who will now become the responsibility of the family. I'm afraid my nieces will be afraid to leave, since this accident happened while my BIL and SIL were on vacation in NH. I don't feel it is appropriate to bring it up right now. Should I wait and see how the kids feel in a few weeks? We are currently at 90 days, and the trip is paid. I know we need to cancel before 45 days out, so that does give us some time. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

Well speaking as someone who went through a tragic death in the family shortly before our last trip I say GO! Make a lot of memories! The kids need happy times right now. Enjoy

 

[Ellasgirls]

One of my best friends lost her sil to cancer and a foundation similar to make a wish had granted her a wish to take her 4 girls to WDW, but she was never able to go. The foundation still sent her husband and 4 girls (and his mom) to WDW in her honor. They went about a month after she died and said it was the best thing they could have done. It shows that even in tragedy life goes on and you can have happiness again. I personally think that the children would be getting a double hit to have that taken away also. That said I would wait for about a month and see how everything is going at that point....don't make any decisions right now. God bless your family, we so sorry for your loss.

 

[chell]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Since your trip is still a few months away I wouldn't cancel because of this. You all will probably need the break and need to get away. And they family needs the bonding time and time together, vacation time is always special.

 

[disgram]

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your loved ones have my prayers.
I agree with the others here, please go. It will be a welcome break for you and your family. If it is possible, take the little one with you. She really does need to see that there is happiness even after such a terrible tragedy.

 

[DisneyGuess]

I am sorry for your family's loss. Sending thoughts and prayers out to all of you.
I agree with everyone else, in 90 days, it will be a welcome break.

 

[amcjeep4life]

I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts during this very difficult time. The girls actually brought up Disney to us while we were spending time with them. The oldest said, "Do you think Uncle John would be mad if we canceled the trip? I think he would still want us to go, and maybe have some fun in his name." My MIL actually said to us that the girls will certainly appreciate having some fun in Disney in a few months, and how we all need the trip. Unfortunately, taking my nephew is just not an option. We had already promised ourselves, and his parents, that we would take him in a few years, when he was older. I think we will plan the trip for a lot sooner, and tell him that his trip is in his dad's honor. But, my husband and I are just not mentally or physically prepared to deal with a VERY active 3 y/o. We spend a lot of time with him, but I think a whole week with 3 kids would send me over the edge. We do not have kids of our own, and therefore are very unprepared to handle them all. I really want the girls to enjoy their trip, without having to babysit. And truly, he is young enough to get over this easier than the girls. Thank you all for your advice, and I'm looking forward to seeing some of you in September. At least it's something to look foward to.

 

[PaulaSue]

I am So Sorry to hear! I would wait a few weeks and let the kids decide what they are up for.

 

[MomWith2Cinderellas]

I am so sorry for your loss. Like others have said wiat to cancel the trip. It may be something that your nieces need.
My SIL and I went to WDW a couple of weeks after the passing of my brother. We both needed to get away from all the sorrow and we each had one another to help with the grief.