To surprise or not to surprise? Need opinions...

[jcuzzort1026]

Just booked a 4-Day on the Dream in October!! DH and I are debating on when to tell the kids. DD is 8 and DS is 4. DD hasn't cruised since she was 3 and DS has never been.

I want to tell them before we leave (probably sometime this summer or early fall) so they can help in the planning, help make the things for the FEs, we can talk about what the trip will be like, etc... (To me the planning is half the fun ).

DH wants to wait to tell them until we get on the ship. He wants to tell them we are going to the beach for a few days and then show up at the port and have some sort of magical reveal.

I'm torn. I would love to see thier faces with such a huge surprise but I worry that they might need a little prepration since it is such a big trip.

Ideas, opinions?

 

[MDTerp]

I absolutely understand your dilema...to tell or not to tell! We booked a 5-day Double Dip on the Dream for this upcoming Spring Break last March....we still haven't told our DD (14) and its absolutely killing me.

Originally our plan was to tell her at Christmas, but we had plenty of other surprises (including a long-weekend trip to see her 2-year old cousin a few weeks ago) so we've yet to "spill the beans". I want to tell her soon, so she can have something to look forward too and will be able to help me pack for 2 nights at AKV and the cruise. My husband wants to wait to tell her until the morning of the cruise right before the DCL bus picks us up.

My daughter is very intuitive, and I'm really not sure she won't figure things out on her own - especially when we start putting clothes out to pack (I don't pack "nicer clothes" for trips to the World).

I've almost slipped quite a few times and the pressure to remain silent is huge! And...we also have a Thanksgiving cruise booked (with my extended family, booked in July) that she also doesn't know about.

Good luck in making your decision!

 

[3Mickeys]

We cruised for our first time Feb 2011 with our three kids who were 8, 10 and 12 at the time. We had booked it the previous June and decided we would "give" it to them Christmas morning. Those months working up to it were hard. Some things in the mail one son saw (I lied and said they were advertisements, tossed it in the trash then had to dig it out!). Afraid people close to me would slip with the info. Trying to plan. The Christmas morning moment was magic though. If I could figure it out I'd upload the video. 10 year old cried and cried when he figured it out, my 8 year old said "how did you pay for it?!"... very funny. From then on we had a countdown calendar, could shop for bathing suits, could go through plan books, look at activities. The two months was enough they could wait that long but it wasn't a year which would have been forever.

On the other hand, my neighbor booked a cruise for her family the same time and the youngest who was 9 didn't know. She thought they were visiting grandparents in Florida, parked and then walked out of a parking garage and there was the cruise ship. Same great reaction (or was it?) I often wonder if there was a sense of confusion, rock your world, wait a minute where they lying to me? kind of moment.

Both have their place but be aware that even in both situations you have to be very careful who you tell. No sharing it on FB. Hiding things. Even saying to someone "it's a surprise for the kids in months" to your friend won't work because that phrase may be forgotten and they may slip and say something. We had many close calls with people saying things.

If doing it again I would do what I did... Wait until about two months ahead and then surprising them and get them involved in the planning. It indeed is half the fun.

 

[sing4joy]

Personally, I would find a special way to tell them prior to the cruise. Think about the joy of anticipation that we all share on these boards, I look at it as extending the joy factor of a vacation that passes by all too quickly! The kids stay excited when they know something very special is coming soon! For our cruise last year I told my children about 2 months prior and would get "I can't wait" all the time!

This year we're booked for Nov. and I've already told them..not nearly the same reaction though..Now it's more of a "that's too far away!" So 2 months, tops, is what I would suggest if you're sharing in advance.

When you arrive at the port or even cross that bridge - and see the beauty of that massive ship - the exhilarating joy is overwhelming, surprise or not

 

[MelissaE1]

When you arrive at the port or even cross that bridge - and see the beauty of that massive ship - the exhilarating joy is overwhelming, surprise or not

So true. Never fails to amaze me.

I agree with the idea of surprising them early with it. Maybe have a pirate hunt in your backyard leading to clues and let the "treasure" be an announcement that you are going on a cruise, etc. That way DH gets his "surprise" moment and the kids can still be involved in the anticipation and planning, which I agree is half the fun! At their ages I would say not to tell them too far before the cruise though... waiting seems like forever when you are that age. (Actually sometimes even when you are a grown up! )

I have seen and heard of some great reactions to the surprise, but it doesn't happen all the time. One time when we were going on the Magic we told my son (4-1/2 years older) about the cruise so he could help surprise my daughter. He was more excited about the surprise than anything else. We plotted and planned and he just couldn't wait. When we got close he had the video camera ready to get her reaction. When we told her we were going on the ship she reacted like we said we were taking a trip to the grocery store or something. Complete non-reaction. My son was almost in tears he was so disappointed. I figured out later that my dd was just overwhelmed with getting that huge piece of information and it took her a few hours to adjust and get into the "I'm going on a Disney Cruise!" mood. Needless to say, we don't surprise my dd with trips anymore.

 

[poohfriend]

This is a tough one to me because you and your DH are on different ends of thinking.

We've done both. Seen both done.

I truly think part of a vacation is the anticipation. While I loved the surprise my kids (who are older) are loving the count-down to Spring Break.

When my kids were younger telling them too far in advance was an issue too.

Your 8 year old is old enough to anticipate. The 4 year old won't. Finding a balance of telling them in advance but not so far that the 4-year-old kills you with the questions of "when do we go."

You can still do a big reveal any time. We once did a scavenger hunt around the house and the last thing was a sailor-mickey plush. The kids screamed, "We're going to Disney World!" And I said NO! THen the oldest said, "We're going on a DIsney Cruise!" There was much jumping and delight. Wouldn't trade it for the stunned looks as we boarded the DCL transfers on their first cruise. Then we had a couple weeks of fun counting the days and packing the bags.

Really doesn't matter which part you choose...you are going to have a blast with your family!

 

[Kirbo]

You know your kids best and know what is the best tact for them.

For us, the anticipation is very much enjoyed here! Planning is half the fun. When we took our first cruise, I booked it about eight months out and told our just-turned-six year olds at that time. They LOVED talking about it and learning all about it.

While on that first cruise we booked a second one for one year later. My girls knew about it right when we booked it (they were at the future cruises desk with us). Again, they've loved thinking about it and talking and planning.

Just last week and old friend of mine took her kids to DisneyLand. They told the kids at the airport. Her children were SO excited! The pictures she posted were classic. It really looked like fun. I told my kids about it and one of them said, "I'd be upset if you didn't tell us until we were leaving."

We have a cruise planned for next year and originally we didn't think we'd be able to take one. The girls think that the one we're going on in three weeks is our final cruise. Ever. We are trying to decide when to tell them that we're going again. I had thought we'd wait until much closer to the sail date. But we might just wait until the one-year mark and tell them then.

Whatever you do, enjoy your trip!

 

[Agilitygirl]

My surprise backfired big time.

I managed to keep it a surprise from my 10-year-old twin girls until the day we left. I even got their teachers in on it.

We had an afternoon flight the day before the cruise, so I planned to pick them up from school and just head straight to the airport.

I went to get them after their specials, so while they were out of their classrooms their teachers put up a big sign on the Smartboards--both said something to the effect of "Pack your bags, you're going to Disney!" One teacher even added, "seriously."

One DD was so excited, the other burst into tears, said she hated us, and wasn't going. Never expected that reaction

Took her a few hours to calm down, but once we got on the plane she was happy and excited. I never did figure out what the problem was other than she claims she hates surprises.

We were heading back down to Florida again a few weeks later for a family event. I had planned to surprise them again by picking them up on the way to the airport, but I scrapped that idea.

We had an awesome time, though, and are leaving in two weeks for our third cruise.

 

[smooreo]

We're cruising the week after you and our kids are roughly the same age. We're leaving on the Tues morning to head to WDW for a few days before the cruise. We plan to tell the kids when they get home from school on the Friday before. I figure then they have a few days to look at everything online (and on DVD!) to get excited about. I hope it works!!

 

[Alikay]

Ours is 7. She won't find out until the night before we fly out. Only because if something were to happen and we couldn't make the trip she wouldn't be disappointed. She'll be excited when she finds out. She has seen the commercials. In the meantime she is focused on school.

 

[Fºoºz]

Personally, I would find a special way to tell them prior to the cruise. Think about the joy of anticipation that we all share on these boards, I look at it as extending the joy factor of a vacation that passes by all too quickly! The kids stay excited when they know something very special is coming soon! For our cruise last year I told my children about 2 months prior and would get "I can't wait" all the time!

This year we're booked for Nov. and I've already told them..not nearly the same reaction though..Now it's more of a "that's too far away!" So 2 months, tops, is what I would suggest if you're sharing in advance.

When you arrive at the port or even cross that bridge - and see the beauty of that massive ship - the exhilarating joy is overwhelming, surprise or not

I agree ... think of all the fun things they can plan for, particularly if planning on participating in FE exchange!

 

[Z Lady]

Tell them 1-2 months before going. It's enough time to let them anticipate the trip and help prepare but not too long that you are dealing with 'when is the cruise? when are we going?' type questions all the time!

We sail in a week and told our kids (10, 8, 4) about a month ago and the timing as been perfect. They are so looking forward to the cruise. They've been on the internet looking at the ship and we've talked about the stops we'll be making.

Either way, everyone will have fun!!! Enjoy!

 

[mketting]

Don't wait. The fun and excitement of looking forward to and Planning a trip extends the joy of the trip. But even more it seems that more often kids don't have the overtop reaction parents are hoping for and everyone feels deflated.

I like the previous posters thought of making it fun they way u tell them. That will add to yOur fun

 

[mketting]

Don't wait. The fun and excitement of looking forward to and Planning a trip extends the joy of the trip. But even more it seems that more often kids don't have the overtop reaction parents are hoping for and everyone feels deflated.

I like the previous posters thought of making it fun they way u tell them. That will add to yOur fun

 

[carolinagirl268]

We surprised our kids (11 &13) in January with a cruise on the Dream. It was our first time on the Dream but our 4th DCL cruise. It had only been 3 months since our previous cruise so they definately weren't expecting another cruise. We drove to port canaveral the night before driving past the signs to the DCL terminal. They just said oh, we must be going someplace close to the port. (we said we were just going to the beach for a long weekend).

When we got to the hotel we broke the surprise to them that we were actually going on the Dream the next day. They didn't believe us! We had to actually show them the cruise docs to prove it. So the reaction wasn't what I was hoping for. I actually started to think, "why did I go to so much trouble to make this a surprise?". BUT when we were on the ship a day into the cruise DD said how happy she was to get this great surprise. So, that made it worth it. I don't think I'll go to the trouble to do a surprise trip again. Anticipating and planning together are truly one of the best things about the trip.

 

[jcuzzort1026]

Thanks for all the responses. You gave me some good points to use to convince DH. I'm worried about the "confusion" factor if we wait until the very last minute. I always involve the kids in vacation planning so my oldest may actually feel left out since it is something she and I usually do together. And I didn't even think about a bad reaction (but I can see my ds not reacting at all since it will be so overwhelming)! If I can convince DH I think I'd like to tell them in mid-July that way the initial excitment doesn't distract from school. It will also help explain why we are not taking our normal beach week vacation! Of course that is if I can keep my over excited mouth closed until then. It is SO hard not to blurt it out!!!!!

Thanks for all the advice! I've so missed these boards! I'm so glad to be back

 

[itutorfortravel]

She'll be excited when she finds out. In the meantime she is focused on school.

This is actually the way we are thinking about it as well...we have been on 3 Disney cruises, all were "sort of" surprises, but meaning only that we waited until about 2 months to two weeks out to tell DD.

This time we've decided to wait to tell her until the day of. We may back it up to the night we head to FL, but that will be the earliest. The reason is because she gets SOOO excited that she literally cannot think or talk about anything else. She's always been a good student but for some reason this is her best year ever. I can't help but wonder if it's because there has been no Disney cruise since 2010 and no real talk of one either, so we haven't had any over the top type exciting adventures to think about constantly. We've done other little day and weekend trips and she's gotten to enjoy other things that have kept her from thinking too much about a cruise.

I do think she'll be excited, but I am not counting on any jumping up and down type reaction. I think she'll be a little overwhelmed and in shock...but once we get to the port she will be beside herself with excitement.

We can't wait! Only 63 more days!

 

[daboof]

Stayed at the nick hotel the night befofe we sailed then told the kids we were going to another hotel the look on the faces was priceless when we just showed up at the ship

 

[Bareacuda]

When my kids were little... they would have loved a surprise like that!

Several weeks ago our DD and I were talking about another cruise, some where in the conversation she said she hoped that the cruise in 2007 would be her one and only. Boy... did that hit hard on me.

Once off the phone, I talked to DH and asked how he felt if we give up our
B2B and give DD and DSIL one of our weeks, cancelling our first week and add them to our 2nd week. I knew the room she wanted. Everything was falling into place.

With DH's big Okie Dokie I booked their cruise!
DH worked all day to put together a beautiful CD of our cruise of 2007 and new pics of the Fantasy. I asked them to come over about 8'ish.

The CD invited them to be special guests ... enjoy a week long cruise(showed all the ports) and it was signed by Tink.
There wasn't a dry eye in the house! All they have to do is save $$$ for suvvies!

Last night... I got a text from her saying....
Guess what Mom???
We're going on a DISNEY CRUISE!!!!

DD and I are planners!

My vote is... surprise your kids the way you know how special the trip will be for them.

Ann

 

[TheMorgans]

I want to keep the cruise a surprise for my daughter's birthday until we arrive at the cruise port. I surprised her with another birthday trip to WDW a few years ago until we arrived at the airport. The look on her face and her excitment level were over the top - and that was her 7th or 8th trip to the World. She has been on 5 or 6 other cruises, but this will be our 1st on DCL.

However, she will know that we are taking a special vacation when we start to pack because we are going to be gone for 21 days this time. The plan is to let her know we are going to the beach for a week and to WDW for another week and just leave out the part about the cruise.