The Two Week Dilema

[SpaceMounatin]

I can't believe I'm posting this,a nd please don't flame me

Allright, so I've been away for a bit recently because I've been pretty bad. My girl friend (who I've been with for 8 months and I'm madly in love with) broke up with me for stupid reasons! I'm not going to get into it, but there were certain things that I didn't know that could of avoided this. But a week after we broke up, I found out that my best friend and her started going out! YES! MY BEST FRIEND! The worst part is, that my best friend (Dan), my ex (Amanda) and I have been a trio before we went out!

When I found out that they kissed and started to go out, I shattered. My whole body...just, shut down. I have never felt so low in my life! And I let him know it that night too! I broke down crying and Dan was too. (I know this seems weird, but you have to be like me and really know Dan to understand him...which is why he's not dead). I told him that there was no point in me living, and that I am really depressed! I then told him I was sorry and that I couldn't pull through this time, and hung up!

He thought I killed myself. Him and Amanda called Jeff (mutual friend) hysterical crying and Jeff (alone) called my house! He asked my mom if I was okay and that he was worried about me. I explained to him the whole story. But this is the evil part right here! Yes, I'm depressed...and the way I'm feeling right now, I can't controll any of my actions and I'm acting totally not like me, because...I'm not going to kill myself and I'm not self injurying myself! But when I hung up and I made him and Amanda scared, I felt...good! I felt completely sinister! And I loved every second of it! And that's totally not me...but at the same time, I love it!

Ever since people have been angry at them (I'm a part of a huge roller coaster community as are them). My friend Robb got them to break up allready. Amanda realized because of him that she rushed things and we are all just so confused. Ever since this all started I've been depressed, bitter, angry, snappy, and just not right. I've been secluding myself from people and just...staying by my self (except when I'm at the Zoo...but that's because I'm working).

If you've read this, thank you. But I want some advice! Has anyone ever been in this situation? Is my behavior normal?

-Dainan "Thank you guys so much" Rafferty

 

[Princess_Dot]

I want to say cheer up! But I think that will take time.

This has never happend with me best best friend, but basically that same situation happend with one of my really really close friends. Her and my bf basically were going out before we had even broke up! When we were still togethor he even took her to prom. They were "hanging out" (among other things ) Ugh, I had never felt so low! I basically secluded my self from everyone, just as your doing, and they felt so bad. It put all of my friends in an awkward situation, but I hoestly didn't care. Eventually one of my friends forced me to talk, and we all ended up venting (yep basically this whole entire clique of mine) OMG it was like one huge cry-fest. But I think it helped. No, I know it helped. We are actually all still friends.

I think everyone heals in their own way, just be carefull not to take revenge too far.

I hope you can work this out with your best friend.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I've never been in this situation.
And I'm really sorry this happened.
And I hope everything turns out for the better.
Maybe you should have a nice long talk with Amanda, and Dan. Either together or separtely. But face to face, not on the phone where you can hang up and avoid it.
Or you could ride it out, and just let things take it's pace.
I guess it depends on what you want, friendships with both of them, or back to the way things were before this happened.

 

[SpaceMounatin]

^I have been talking to them about it. But they both live in NJ and I live in NY, so it's hard.

I want to say cheer up! But I think that will take time.

This has never happend with me best best friend, but basically that same situation happend with one of my really really close friends. Her and my bf basically were going out before we had even broke up! When we were still togethor he even took her to prom. They were "hanging out" (among other things ) Ugh, I had never felt so low! I basically secluded my self from everyone, just as your doing, and they felt so bad. It put all of my friends in an awkward situation, but I hoestly didn't care. Eventually one of my friends forced me to talk, and we all ended up venting (yep basically this whole entire clique of mine) OMG it was like one huge cry-fest. But I think it helped. No, I know it helped. We are actually all still friends.

I think everyone heals in their own way, just be carefull not to take revenge too far.

I hope you can work this out with your best friend.

I will be honest, this did help, and I think we should try that. Doing that over a buddy chat didn't go over too well.

 

[Sparkle_Cherry]

I don't know if it was the same as what you're going through right now, but about five or six months ago, I was a mess. I was weeks behind in homework, I wasn't eating anything for a few days at a time, I would start crying at the slightest thing (even if I was in the middle of class), I would yell and scream at anyone in sight, I was getting under three hours of sleep a night, and I was totally distant, and set apart from the world.

I can't even remember much from that time, or how I ever got through it. Everything just runs together when I try and remember. All I can say to you, is that you need to go on with life. Just getting through day-to-day activities, and getting back into a routine will prevent you from going into withdrawal. You need to get out, and talk to people. If you lose contact with people, then you can lose yourself really quickly.

I hope that you can get through this

 

[DramaQueen]

Well Danian, you are handling things much better than i would.

If that EVER happened to me. I would go BALISTIC!! I honestly don't think I would be able to control my actions at all. I've been with my current boyfriend for over a year and I love him to death, so I totally know how you feel, even thinking about something like that happening gets me all mad and antsy.

I know it's the right thing for me to tell you to "talk it out" but I know that can be extremely difficult. If you are comfortable enough talking to them about it, go for it. You have to make sure they understand how you are feeling, and that you are confused about why people who care so much about you would do something they know would hurt you like that.
I really think you need to hear their explaination about why they did this, and hopefully, a justificiation for their actions.

In the long run, I'm sure things will get better, they always do. But I know right now it must be killing you. It must be so hard, but you've really got to keep your chin up, and realize that things WILL get better. If you guys are that close and really care about each other, there must be some way you can work it out and be friends again.

I REALLY hope everything works out for you! You really don't deserve this!

 

[Sparx]

I don't really have any advice. but if you need someone to talk to, my aim is under my username.

 

[Lil_Tink]

I haven't had the same thing happen, but I know how much hatred I felt towards my ex and his new girlfriend when they started going out. I felt amazing talking about them and it made me feel better. But, honestly, it didn't help anything. Me calling her ugly, didnt make me any prettier.
These things will heal themselves, or atleast mine did. You always have us on the dis and your friends. My SN is unde rmy username and I'm sure we would all be glad to talk to you

 

[AngienLuLu]

 

[SBubba18]

I had that happened to me too. My ex and I was going out for awhile, and all of a sudden he didn't feel the same way back to me anymore. Then about 3 days later he started going out with a friend of mine. When I found out I just broke down crying. I never said I wanted to kill myself but inside I did. I did do some stuff but never did go that far bc i didn't want to. I did self-hurt myself though. I got some help for it too and i talked about it with some of my best friends. Now that my ex and his other gf is broken up i am fine. It all passed and i realized that i can not change the past. Everything happens for a reason, and it is really hard to accept it sometimes..

 

[STOPxmickeytime]

i'm so sorry.
and you shouldn't feel bad about feeling a little vengeful, it's natural.
i've personally never had this happen, but i've witnessed it.
if you ever need anything, pm me. :]

 

[VolleyballQt07]

Wow. 0_o Sorry no advice here but I do have hugs and support for ya!

 

[JackSparrow0791]

well i cant say this has ever happened to me but try and pull through it, it is natrual to feel good when u feel sinister when ur angry. but try nad calm down and think about it for a while fell free to PM me anytime u need to talk, i just dont have a lot of time right now


remember, ur never alone!!!

 

[2HOT2touch]

Oh my God. That's horrible. I'm so sorry. Nothing like that has happened to me. But during the winter I was going out with one of my best friends best friend. That relationship screwed up my friendship between my friend and even some of my other friends that didn't even know him. For the longest time I felt like I didn't have any friends at all and he went to a different school than I did and we didn't live anywhere near each other so it was hard to see him and talk to him. three months into the relationship when things started to go back to normal, he broke up with me and then like 2 days later I found out he was with someone else. And now my friendship is still screwed up, it was probably one of the worst decisions I made in a while. boys are so not worth screwing up a friendship. and in your case girls aren't worth it either. Sorry, this wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but if you need to talk my AIM is under my user name.