As is true of any MI team in enemy territory, the possibility of being found out, or caught in the midst of some type of subversive act was an ever present concern. One thing working in our favor was the fairly large number of other park guests overtly sporting Disney clothing and paraphernalia. They were everywhere. Oddly I dont remember seeing near so much of the reverse of this being true back over at The World. The random Minion tee shirt may be sited on a patron out in the World Showcase, but Mickeys image, and yes
even the occasional set of mouse ears, could be readily found throughout Islands of Adventure. If Im correct in this observation that fact must make the marketers at Universal absolutely wacky. For us it provided extra cover in that the local security forces would be paying more attention to those rouge elements then to the more nondescript rabble that we were attempting to pass ourselves off as.
But even still, danger lurked all around us.
The possibility of being trapped and in desperate need of finding some means of escape was an ever present danger.
Often one of our own making
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Did you ever have the feeling you were being watched?
That Bugs Bunny short up there has nothing to do with this TR.
(And youd expect no less from me now would you?
It is dang funny though and provides the source material for the subtitle of the following section.
In any case you should consider yourselves lucky.
Rather than one of my normal off topic tangents, I coulda offered up a picture that had my ugly mug in it.
That would not have been good for any of us.
Now back to our original story of back stabbing already in progress
(along with the notion of being watched)
By midmorning wed already partaken of three of the four major dry attractions that are the main draw at Islands of Adventure. As for the several wet attractions on offer, we decided that walking through the parks the rest of the day soaking wet and with ill-fitting britches was a poor decision. Plans were already in the works to tackle those via a different method and during a separate incursion back into the park. For now, wed already accomplished the days main objectives so it seemed like a good time to consider moving on toward the more urban side of The Dark Side.
Decision made, we left the madding crowd confined within WWoHP behind
And immediately got side tracked
I mean headed toward the front gates via the somewhat calmer part of the park now referred to as the Lost Continent.
This is kinda like Adventureland back at the MK. Kinda
But rather than being heavily based on the South Pacific, here he theming is more Mediterranean and North Africa in style. Instead of thatched palm frond roofs and a circle of great tikis presented for visual interest and photo-ops, you get faux stone and stucco structures, date-palms and carved statues resembling (and somewhat garishly at that) ancient Greek deities
Sad to say though, not a Dole Whip in site.
On the up side there are no singing parrots anywhere to be seen here either, but
The rocks will talk to you.
Well
one of them will at least. Specifically, that one pretending to be a fountain in the middle of that last picture there. This guy
Well not the guy
as you can see thats one of our operatives cleverly engaging the mark in conversation designed to uncover closely guarded secretes (like when the 3pm parade would be starting if indeed they actually had a 3pm parade). No I mean the rock. The Mystic Fountain works a tiny bit like Push in that someone from a remote location is obviously controlling the thing (theres no pixy dust round here ya know). Unlike Push, its stationary and does its interaction by drawing pigeons
I mean park guests over to it and engaging in conversation. Its pretty good at it as well. As evidenced by the fact that the rock learned more about our operative then our operative learned about IOA operations and procedures. Then just to add a bit of insult to any verbal injuries sustained, this talking rock will also try to dowse you as youre walking away by increasing the power of the water stream. So be on your guard.
Another thing you wont find here is pirates. Well, actually thats not true. Right behind the talking rock is the entrance to a live action stunt show (ala Indiana Jones over At HS) using Sinbad as its inspiration (which I suppose does count as a pirate). However, the reviews arent impressive for that so we continued on down the road a bit. What we found next was the ruins of a temple once dedicated to Poseidon (supposedly)
Foolishly, we ventured in and found ourselves having to escape from imminent peril and potential doom
Bwahahahahahaha
Naaaaa
nothing like that really. What weve got here is a failure to communicate
. Errrr
.
No, no no, I meant to say: What weve got here is an attraction called
Poseidon's Fury Escape from the Lost City.
Actually, Max had done this one before and said it was not bad. Well, thats not a stellar endorsement there, but being not bad and also being as they were about to start the next show in a minute or two as well
we gave it a shot. This aint a thrill ride by any means. Its more story emersion (with a considerable amount of special effects). Its closer to the type of entertainment that Universal was offering when it first opened. At that time the idea was that you became part of a film or adventure. There is an actor/cast member that sets up the story line. The progression of that story includes the unforeseen escape of an evil deity, plunges into total darkness, water vortices, fire, cannons and explosions. Not bad. In the finale Poseidon himself is revived so he can save your sorry butt from almost certain annihilation
you know, the usual stuff.
The Cast Member
hummm, do they use that terminology at US/IOA?
Probably not so
The actor that was playing the part of an aerologists assistant was actually very entertaining during the crowd interaction parts of the show. Id tell you the flashy shoes story to illustrate this point, but I fear that would end up being what we call a location joke. Meaning that it was only funny if you were there at the time. As for the attraction in general, the whole thing is relatively entertaining if
you have the time. However, I advise against investing any lengthy wait for it. If you were to partake though, you may just end up with your own location joke that you wont be able to relate to anyone else.
So it does have that going for it.
From there we got back on track headed generally toward the main gate. Our wandering then took us into the Seuss Landing section of the park
Not having young children, we really didnt rummage around this part of park much aside from grabbing a couple of slushies with the Seuss-esk names of Moose juice and Goose Juice (not bad stuff
not a Dole Whip, but not bad). If you have pre-middle schoolers, this area has a decent amount to offer. If you have boys that are long past the yard ape stage of development (and well into their: far too hip to suffer the rest of humanity phase), then not so much. That being the case Ill leave the reviews to folks that spent more quality time in these parts.
Consider it a hidden gem for you to discover on your own.
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Uptown Shuffle
It was time for something different. Wed gotten to most of the high points at Islands of Adventure (and had a plan for getting to the rest of them later on in the course of our mission). It seemed a good time then for a bit of park hopping. No busses required at Universal (aint nary big enough for that). Its just a relatively short stroll from one dark side
to the other dark side
Now the original Universal Studios park is a place I have seen before. Twice
once way back when Tamara and I were relative newlyweds (and sans younges), and once again when Max was around seven or eight. Both of those instances were a long time ago indeed. And the elder park on site has changed considerable since. Several of those changes are apparent just inside the front gate
The Hollywood Rip Ride Rocket and Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem are fairly new attractions and as one might expect extremely popular (note the 80 min wait time in that last picture there). The best way to deal with them is to hit em first thing in the morning. Which
we did not do, cause we were otherwise engaged as you know. We had a backup plan for getting onto the Rocket, but sadly the minion ride was deemed too much of a wait by the boys (and truthfully, mom and dad were indifferent). So we kept moving.
This would lead us to our first outright mistake of the day. That being an ill-advised right turn into an attraction that honestly needs to go. But hay, the wait was only five minutes
and it was air conditioned! So
Well anyway, Im sure that at one time possibly, the attraction based on the Twister film (from way back when my son was only a year old) was ummm
entertaining? These days though
you see
ummmm
well, at least when the cow flies by you smile for a moment or two but as for the rest of it
ummmm
Ya know
I do believe its time to move along.
OK, now thats more like it!
Revenge of the Mummy is a dark-ride / roller coaster and a dang good one too. Imagine Big Thunder Mountain, in the dark and with a rogue mummified baddie using evil powers to try and steal your sole. There are a couple of theatrical stops along the way as well to advance the story a bit before you are again suddenly dropped onto the next section of the coaster. From the theming, to the film and hologram effects, to the part of the track that is in reverse, to the fake end of the ride, to the flaming ceiling descending down to destroy you
To the final drops twist and turns and the actual end of the ride
This one delivers an excellent experience. And since its not brand new, the wait is often moderately painless as well.
There is one down side to this one though. The ride vehicle needs a bit of tweaking (which it likely wont be getting). The angle of the back vs the seat of the hard benches is designed (Im sure) to work at holding you safely while the train moves though its wild antics. But this angle is a bit odd and can be quite painful to the lower spine and the back of the knees depending on ones hight and build. Being short can be a disadvantage here. Thats unfortunate, but myself, Id tough it out to repeat the experience. My lovely wife wont be enduring that unnecessary added pain in order to join me any time soon, but Id do it.
Another note here while Im stopped; if you can manage it, dont be bring any bags, backpacks or loose bulky items into either of Universals parks (and consider not buying any knick-knacks until youre ready to head out for the day). A number of the attractions wont allow you to carry even so much as a small purse or even a hat into the show buildings. Universal is here to help though and there are free lockers near most of these more aggressive rides. The problem is that you have to get in line to make use of the electronic touch screens that control the allocation and retrieval of items within said lockers. The system works well enough and is free, but consumes time (which weve all only got just so much of) so be aware.
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A Transformative Experience
Thus far wed escaped from a lackluster whirlwind, the wrath of the demonic Imhotep and even the madness of retrieving our paraphernalia from the free lockers, but there was one thing we could no longer out run
hunger. Time for some grub. Universal has a decent mix of CS and TS options and most of the general types of cuisine can be hunted down. From where we stood near the back of the New York section of the park though, the nearest place to get out of the heat and also have someone else do the serving for me happened to be
Finnegans Bar and Grill
The place appeared to be packed, but it turns out that we were able to walk up and get a table with only a ten minute wait. Now thats one thing that dont happen very often at Disney (unless were talking about the Restaurant Marrakesh in the Morocco pavilion
which is actually quite good
so you should go there sometime).
Hummm
I believe I wandered off topic again there.
Oh yah
Finnegans.
Upon simply walking into the building we were transformed from overheated park vets into calm, cool, relaxed tourists enjoying a boisterous Irish pub (or at least and Americanized and slightly sanitized recreation of such, but still
). Here, service was good, the bar is full service, beer is plentiful (though the choices are a bit mundane), and the food, if a might pricy, was quite tasty. Sandwiches were the order of the day for us. The fish sandwich was deemed to be quite nice and the various burgers were as good as burgers most anywhere else. I went after the Tipperary Corned Beef . Mustard, sautéed onions and melted Swiss over a good sized pile of brined roast on a pretzel roll. If youre into such, and I am, thats quite a good choice as well. Eleven-ish bucks per plate before ordering any drinks is somewhat steep, but for Orlando area in-park table service, not horrendous.
Our time amongst the Irish accomplished two important things. It got us off our feet for a well-deserved rest of the weary bones, and it sheltered us from that days prerequisite torrential poor down.
No sooner then we got set down, the sky opened up and dumped so much water on the park that youd think your perpetually snockered uncle had crashed his ATV into the side of grandpas cut rate above ground swimming pool and flooded the family barbeque. An image worth at least a free tee-shirt from
AFV if you happened to catch it on your cellphone, but a result that pretty much puts a damper on the festivities for a bit. We, however never even had to bust out so much as a poncho because it was all done and gone by the time wed finished our meal. When we stepped back out into the park it was pretty much dry again. Although, the storm had transformed the air from blazing hot to oppressively humid (normal for the south in general but still not necessarily a change for the better).
At this point we encountered another transformation. The next block down from where we were standing had originally been part of the Production Central section of the park. Specifically it was Soundstage 44 which in its history housed attractions the likes of Hercules and Xena: Wizards of the Screen and before that the Murder, She Wrote Mystery Theatre. Needless to say both of those were old style U.S. type fair that moved guests through a series of studios and demonstrated the process of producing a television show (with audience participation of course).
Im pretty sure youre morning the loss of those babies arent ya?
That was when Universal wanted to be a place that put you into their movies. That
is no longer the image the parks overlords wish to convey. Theyve decided, and rightly so might I add, that to survive in Orlando, they need to be the place to go for over the top thrill rides. With that in mind they built this
Thats the iconic centerpiece and main entrance to the ride that now consumes nearly that entire block:
Transformers: the Ride-3D.
This was brand-spanking-new when we were roaming around the park. So new in fact that it wasnt officially going to be opened to the public until later in the week. However
they were in the midst of conducting a soft opening of the attraction and that meant we could be amongst the first to experience it for no cost beyond a fairly lengthy stand in a queue (and knowing they might shut it down at any moment).
Well
what would you do?
Thats what I thought, and we did the same.
This is a lot like the Spiderman attraction over at IOA, but bumped up a couple levels and transfused with copious amount of steroids. Like Spidey, its built around a 360 degree free moving gimbaled ride vehicle tracking through a show building. The interior of said building is festooned with multistory high video screens and various set pieces farther enhanced with light, sound and physical effects. Its a tried and true system.
Story-wise: the Autobots are doing all in their power to protect the AllSpark from the Decepticons.
For the majority of you that are younger then I, that right there makes perfect sense and no farther explanation is required. For those of us that are my age or older (bless your hearts), its complete gibberish. Not to worry, it still requires no real explanation because the ride is simply a nonstop thrill a moment and you dont need no stinckin explanation. Just accept that what youll see is a whole passel of robots fighting one-n-other while simultaneously destroying everything around you. Accept that as fact
and your there. Actually the ride vehicle stands in as one of these Autobots; one named Evac to be specific. You happen to be passengers aboard this fellow when all the ruckus commences. Early on in the proceedings the Allspark ends up in your position. From then on youre just trying to protect this McGuffin from every mechanical villain ever concocted. Of course you have allies that are aiding you in the midst of the carnage. One of the more interesting aspects of the experience is that the track is actually two stories tall and uses elevators to move the ride-vehicle from one level to the next as the mayhem progresses. Along the way, youll be sprayed with water, enveloped in fog and accosted by blasts of hot air simulating the explosions that you miraculously succeeded in surviving.
All in all
a nice Sunday drive in the park.
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Ahhh, the genital soothing tick of Geiger counters
Another death defying close call navigated, it was time to move on. We moseyed through the San Francisco/Amity portion of the park. Well actually, just the San-Fran part of it. The Amity part of it, the home of the original Jaws ride experience, is no more. There was a little bit of disappointment in not being able to partake of that venerable old Universal standard, but change happens. At least we had all done that one before during previous incursions. As the group walked along by the 12-foot barricades then guarding the construction site, discussion turned to just what they might be up to. We now know precisely what was up as they were implementing another park transformation. The recreation of the literary Diagon Alley demanded by the unbelievable success of Potter World. At the time though, it was just a forest of tower cranes, girders and I-beams that could have become almost anything.
The next intact attraction on the agenda though was just up the path a bit
The MIB franchise of films are among my favorite for mindless entertainment.
And I was certainly up for giving this one a shot. But theres a problem with the cat
Whats the problem with the cat?
Its your problem
I hate the living.
Unlike the coroner in that scene, for us it wasnt a cat problem, or even a problem with the living. It was a time problem. The overlords were posting a wait of better than 90 of our earth type minutes for the MIB experience (so technically that would be a problem with living as the living were clogging up the queue at the time). Now, mom and dad were ok with this but decided to leave it up to the boys (a mistake that any parent really should know better than by this stage in the game). The boys had both done this one previously and in their opinion, it was a bit long to be standing for what thrills this now older ride had to offer. Well, we did let them call it, so sadly I cant tell you much about that one beyond; Ill have to go back sometime without youngens in tow. The next thing on around the bend though was new to everyone in the squad. Even the slightly long 45 minute queue experience was not a deterrent. Good! We were now headed to an entirely different amusement park. One bathed in the soft afterglow of unshielded nuclear reactors
Krustyland!
This one is another ride simulator but with older style mechanicals, meaning its stationary rather than on a motion track (less like Spidey, more like Star Tours). The video projection side of the equation though is state of the art. The Simpsons Ride occupies the same building that once housed the Back to the Future simulator ride. Theyve just replaced the 24 eight-passenger Deloreans with 24 eight-passenger roller coaster trams; each one in a separate viewing room.
The story goes like this: Krusty the Clown is choosing from amongst his esteemed park guests, the first family to ride his new "Thrilltacular: Upsy-Downsy Spins-Aroundsy Teen-Operated Thrillride". No surprise here, the Simpsons are chosen, but they then choose these guys (meaning you) to accompany them on the grand opening extravaganza. Once settled into the ride vehicle, the animation gets going as a Squeaky-Voiced Teen appears on a TV screen in the ride cabin. He informs you that youre with him but you need to keep the screaming down so he can study for a math test, because if he does not get a C or higher, he will get kicked out of the audio-visual club. Of course, you arent with him. Sideshow Bob cuts off the teenager's signal and takes control of the ride. Now vengeance is his! Well, maybe
Anyway, Bob has escaped from prison, taken over Krustyland and plans to destroy it and you. Sounds like fun ehhh? He pulls a master control lever from the thrilling setting to killing and then your vehicle lifts up out of the room, into an IMAX video dome and basically from here all he!! breaks loose.
Wrecking balls will destroy the tracks ahead of you
Evil mechanical pandas will attack you
The POTC rip off ride collapses all-around you
Killer wales become an issue (you cant leave any competitor out of a good parody you know)
A gigantic and radioactive Maggie will confuse you for a pacifier
Kang and Kodos complicate things farther by turning the house
(that you only thought you had safely reached)
into Krusty's "Death Drop" ride.
I think you get the picture.
If not, then heres the actual picture to check out!
Like all stationary simulators, this can bother those folks prone to sea sickness, the claustrophobic and those whose eyes dont deal well with disorienting visual input combined with jarring motion
like my wife
who saw a couple parts of this with her eyes closed
Doh!
Just something to keep in mind.
Interestingly, this attraction doesnt dump you directly into a gift shop. Near one
yes, but into one
no. How the designers slipped up on that Im not certain, but at the time at least, this was true. Being good Disney vets, this somehow seemed wrong. I mean even Kang and Kodos know that all rides end in the gift shop. So we decided to correct this oversight by actually going into the one that was near the exit. Like lemmings joining the throngs, it just seemed like the thing to do. Besides a trip into the Kwik-E-Mart felt proper since we were supposed to be taking in that Springfield vibe. Its a nice recreation actually. Apart from the general Simpsons merchandise (some of which was right entertaining) you can also pick up some Lard Lad Donuts or a couple of Squishees if the mood strikes you.
Elsewhere in this section of the park one can even acquire a tumble full of Duff Beer
That calls for a salute!
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Woohoo!
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Mop Up Operations
The next section of the park youll encounter once leaving Springfield is the Kidzone.
Great if you have kids.
I no longer have kids
I have teens that the government has decreed are also adults.
Needless to say, our ersatz adults were not enthralled with the prospect of exploring kiddie world.
But there is one thing here that they would consent to
Yup
the ET Adventure.
Shocking I know. The paltry wait time may have weighed heavily on the decision. One of the oldest attractions in the park, its long past the glory days when crowds whiled away precious hours of their mortal existence in broiling queues for the chance to phone home. That doesnt mean that its not worth a stop though. In the same sense that IASW is worth checking out.
Really
Actually, its a bit more like Peter Pan then IASW in style. Mechanically speaking that is. This is a classic dark ride concept but the carriages are suspended from overhead tracks that will (after a while) take you above the visuals and displays. The other obvious difference (besides that lack of a Disney theme) it that the carriages are in the form of a group of bicycles rather than enchanted sailing ships. Imagine that.
The story line is simple. ET has to get back home again in order to save his own planet.
And you get to travel along with him
Whoohoo
Its all good fun though.
The original wow factor built into this ride was that at the end of it, ET himself would personally wish you a fond farewell
by name
Whoohoo?
Simple tech that.
They ask you for your name up front and plug that into the system once they know which bike youll be ridding. Of course what this means is that no one ever gives them their real name anymore. Obviously they wont except things like Monkey Butt or Squid Brains as monikers (much to the dismay of every twelve year old boy that rides the thing convinced they were going to be the life of the party with that one), but they also certainly dont bother checking your ID for verification (oh, and I did toned those names back there down a might from my original 12-year-old boy thoughts because this is a family TR after all). So anyway, what did we offer up as a nom de guerre? Why Ricky and Lucy of course. Were old
remember (and it made momma smile so why not)? Afterward the boys confessed that theyd done the same thing
No
not chosen Ricky and Lucy (though on an odd level that would have been funny). Nope, they chose to let the Force be with them and went for Luke and Anacin instead.
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Drowning our Sorrows
We had one last major plan for the day. Tackling the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit! The newest steal coaster in the parks. Its no Hulk, but still a good version of a type built by German manufacture Maurer Söhne known as a Skyloop Coaster.
The name of the thing is a might lame in my opinion, but that doesnt diminish the drops and loops one itty bit. Some of the unique elements this coaster offers up include an interesting ninety degree vertical lift hill, the fact that they record your reactions throughout the entire 1 minute 37 second ride (and will gladly sell you the video
. depending) and that each passenger can choose one out of thirty preselected songs to listen to during his or her own personal ride experience (but chose quick or it will chose for you).
We believed we had this one all figured out. Tam wasnt going to partake this time around so wed just leave all the lose paraphernalia with her. The two hour wait time was the next hurdle
no problem; wed single ride it. We even knew how to go about accessing the
Hidden Song Selections and therefore would not be forced to suffer through a lame tune from their caned short list of crappy, milk-toast, mass-market, commercial excuses for music.
This was going to be epic.
And it was.
Epic that is
An epic fail.
What we did not know
is that after a certain point in the day (at least it was true on that day) the geniuses in charge of park guest relations would shut down the single rider line.
WHAT!
Surely, you have got to be kidding me here!
Nope
they werent kidding
(and dont call them Shirley)
They dont deserve the honor.
We hadnt paid the extra dinero required for express passes so that wasnt an option (and wouldnt have helped much either). The choice was down to one seriously interminable wait in a hell queue or to consider coming back another day and hitting this one at rope drop. The second choice there seemed a far more reasonable solution to the problem. Didnt make us less ticked off, but it was a more reasonable choice.
The sun was encroaching on the western horizon by this point and wed pretty much accomplished everything that was both on our master list for the day and did not include a potentially lethal wait time.
Did we pull of a perfect covert operation here?
No, but a successful one
yes.
Time to pack it in. We roamed through the shops on the way back toward the main gate. The boys picked up a couple of dooloolys and we bid Universal a fond adieu.
For now.
The trip back to the car was uneventful but we were all quite glad that Id at least pried my wallet open just enough to pay the extra couple of bucks needed to cut that hike down to size. Ill consider that expense routinely when headed to Universal in the future. The return trip to Disney property was also uneventful and in short order we fell back into our temporary headquarters in the sylvan depths of PORs Alligator Bayou. Some air-conditioning and soft drinks laced with a good swallow of properly aged rum were exactly the prescription for what ailed us. And by us, I mean the old folks in the group. A bit of horizontal relaxation on the bed may also have been called for. Its entirely possible that some of us even took a bit of a nap for a short while there.
For a late dinner we climbed back into the car and made the short drive from the Bayou over to the sister resort at the French Quarter. I rather like the QS in the Float Works over there. Gumbo and beniegts were calling my name. We even corralled up a few extra bits of the puffed pastries to serve as part of the next mornings breakfast offerings. After dinner the boys decided that they wanted to drown their sorrow a bit differently by hitting the pool. So they headed off to Ol Man Island to get wet. A good plan actually, and where I a might less tuckered by that time of the day, I might have trudged up there with em. But they could use a bit of time away from the grownups and I could use some more rum and a bit of time snuggling with my lovely bride.
Both seemed good choices for ending up a good day.
Next up: Forgive us Father Mouse, for we have sinned
