ZZUB
Roll Tide, Mean It
- Joined
- May 9, 2003
Chapter 10:
We exited Le Celllier about 45 minutes before Illuminations. We walked a little ways and found a spot on the railing to watch the show. I pushed the stroller up to the edge of the railing and we stood behind it. As is usually the case at Disney World, when waiting for the fireworks or a ride, you end up striking up a conversation with total strangers. The people next to us were from South Carolina. Now on this particular day, Alabama played South Carolina. When I was planning our trip, I had given serious consideration to leaving Epcot during the afternoon and going to ESPN to watch the game. But when South Carolina came so close to beating Georgia, it occurred to me that Steve Spurriers team might beat us and I didnt want to watch that. No. As long as we were in Disney World, I wouldnt contend with any losses. So we stayed in the park and I didn't get near a TV or radio. So when the South Carolina people told us where they were from, I told them I went to Alabama. Mr. South Carolina grimaced and his wife said, Boy yall put a whuppin on us todaaaay. I love the south. Only in the south do people appreciate a good whupin.
We won?! I asked trying not to sound too excited.
Ahh yeah. Yall beat us goooood. Mr. South Carolina responded.
Well Roll Tide! I said, because Im a redneck. Its a Disney Miracle!
I explained how I had little faith in my Tide and so I refused to ruin my vacation. He explained how he had too much faith in his Gamecocks and they actually went back to the room to watch. We then talked about football for a while. I can see your eyes glazing over so Ill move on.
At some point my daughter woke up and announced she was hungry. There was a McDonalds hut nearby. I asked my daughter if she wanted a hamburger. She said she did and I walked to the McDs to get a burger. No soup for me. They only sell McNuggets. Can someone explain to me why a McDonald's only sells McNuggets? That's not the first thing anyone thinks of when they think of McD's. No, we think burgers. I walked back to my wife and daughter and the sad people from South Carolina and asked my little girl if she wanted McNuggets. I want a haaaambuuuuurger. She whined. Alright, I said. So I went in search of a burger. This was a theme park, how hard can it be to find a burger?! By this point, the walkway around the lake was getting quite crowded. Also, Im not certain, but I think I witnessed some gang activity. In any event, it felt less like Disney World and more like the local mall.
I walked clear around to Future World and while I walked, I noticed that the pre-Illuminations music had changed. About a year ago, I discovered Live365.com and one of the stations plays An Evening At Epcot every night from 5:30 to 6:30 PST. Im usually in my office at that time of day and I had gotten in the habit of listening to that music. So Im quite familiar with what music I was supposed to be hearing at this moment. Instead there was some new music which might be ok except it wasnt what I was expecting. And also, I had not yet found a hamburger. I turned around and headed the other way. Along the way I passed Mel HappyHaunt sitting on a bench wearing nothing but a sleeping bag. Her husband ran past me wearing what I thought was a pair of her sweats. It was all very strange.
Defeated, I returned back to my wife and daughter without anything meaningful for my daughter to eat. When I got back to where they were, there was a strange woman standing behind our stroller. I dont mean strange as in I didnt recognize her although I didnt, but strange as in, odd looking. Wearing sun glasses at night. Cue Corey Hart.
I asked my wife who she was and she didnt know. My wife is too polite to ever say, Excuse me, but who are you and why are you standing behind my stroller?! So I politely said, Excuse me. She ignored me. I said again, Excuse me. Again, a shoulder. Maam, would you mind if I stand next to my wife behind our stroller? She made a face as if I had just farted, which I hadnt, and she took a baby step to her right. Ok, fine, I can squeeze in. Really, I was more focused on the lack of any meaningful food to give my daughter. My wife and I discussed the lack of food in my hands and I suggested just getting her some McNuggets anyway. My wife said, Shes not stupid; shell know thats not a hamburger. Im not suggesting we trick her. Im suggesting that if shes hungry enough, the McNuggets will do. My daughter keyed into our conversation at this point and announced, I dont want McNuggets! So my wife produced a box of cereal from her back pack and suggested my daughter munch on that until we could find her something to eat. She liked that idea. Who wouldnt? It was Fruit Loops for crying out loud. You could live indefinitely on those things.
By this point, Illuminations was about to start. My sister and one of my nephews came walking up and joined us. We were crowded behind the stroller pretty tightly and I was standing so closely to the strange woman that I could hear her inner monologue. She was wondering whether the rumors were true about Nick and Jessica's marital problems. I noticed she was smallish and we could easily see over her, so I asked her if shed like for me to move our stroller so she could stand at the railing. Her face lit up as if I had just given her my seat on the bus. She stepped aside so I could back the stroller out of the way and she walked up to the railing. My wife, daughter, sister and nephew and I stood shoulder to shoulder behind her. The show started and not long into it, my daughter decided she didnt like fireworks again. Id forgotten how loud and in your face Illuminations is. You can feel it in your chest. I think thats cool; my daughter could live without it. So my wife took her and moved back behind us. After a few minutes they went and hid in the bathroom.
So Illuminations wasnt the idyllic family moment for the Zzubs. Worse things have happened in our lives. Auburn has beaten us four years in a row. My wife and daughter walked back to us and we hung out for a while letting most of the crowd out ahead of us. We eventually joined the unwashed masses and headed to the park exit and our bus stop. I hate, hate, HATE the end of the day bus ride. Youre stuck in a crowd of sweaty people, many of whom cant remember the last time they applied a deodorant. Most are rather tired. Some cuss freely. In the distance a baby is crying.
You know this is your fate when youre stuck in the middle of a crowd heading out of a park. You know whats waiting for you. Its not so nice. So we walk and walk and walk and finally get to our bus stop. The line was surprisingly small (it was like the crowd for a Pac 10 football team v. the crowd for an SEC team). There were two teenaged boys in front of us, their pants clearly too big. This raised two questions, 1. why would you wear pants to Epcot in what is essentially a summer month, and 2. if you are going to wear pants, shouldnt they fit? Can someone explain to me the allure of wearing pants 8 sizes too large for you so that youre constantly having to hold them up? It doesnt look good and I cant imagine it feels good either. At least in my day acid washed jeans were aesthetically appealing and not uncomfortable.
A bus arrived and we squeezed in. Someone gave up their seat for my wife and daughter and I stood holding a barely folded up stroller. I was facing backwards and the couple sitting in the seat in front of me were on their honeymoon. They had been in Disney World for a week and were leaving in the morning. They were from Canada.
As the Canadian Honeymooners were regaling me with tales of their trip and a drunken wedding reception, I was noticing that the trip back to PORiverside was taking a little long. PORiverside is not that far from Epcot and it was taking way too long to get back there. I looked out the bus window and saw Downtown Disney. No lie. Our driver got lost and we were headed past DTD towards the DTD hotels. He made a U-turn and headed back. The Canadian Honeymooners were oblivious to how lost we were and continued talking. Pictures and cake. Lots of drunk people and a funny wedding video. I feigned interest and nodded at all the appropriate moments. I've been married for a few years. I know how to do this. Eventually our driver found his way to our hotel and we got off the bus. The Canadian Honeymooners were still talking.
Into the food court we go and we finally got some meaningful food for my daughter. At least I think we did. For all I know we gave her more Fruit Loops. While my wife was fetching food, I went to the drink island for one of my free refills. As is my right for life or until 2042. I turned around to head back towards the food and I hear someone yell, Vote for Pedro! My work here is done.
Next time: What Hell feels like in summertime.
We exited Le Celllier about 45 minutes before Illuminations. We walked a little ways and found a spot on the railing to watch the show. I pushed the stroller up to the edge of the railing and we stood behind it. As is usually the case at Disney World, when waiting for the fireworks or a ride, you end up striking up a conversation with total strangers. The people next to us were from South Carolina. Now on this particular day, Alabama played South Carolina. When I was planning our trip, I had given serious consideration to leaving Epcot during the afternoon and going to ESPN to watch the game. But when South Carolina came so close to beating Georgia, it occurred to me that Steve Spurriers team might beat us and I didnt want to watch that. No. As long as we were in Disney World, I wouldnt contend with any losses. So we stayed in the park and I didn't get near a TV or radio. So when the South Carolina people told us where they were from, I told them I went to Alabama. Mr. South Carolina grimaced and his wife said, Boy yall put a whuppin on us todaaaay. I love the south. Only in the south do people appreciate a good whupin.
We won?! I asked trying not to sound too excited.
Ahh yeah. Yall beat us goooood. Mr. South Carolina responded.
Well Roll Tide! I said, because Im a redneck. Its a Disney Miracle!
I explained how I had little faith in my Tide and so I refused to ruin my vacation. He explained how he had too much faith in his Gamecocks and they actually went back to the room to watch. We then talked about football for a while. I can see your eyes glazing over so Ill move on.
At some point my daughter woke up and announced she was hungry. There was a McDonalds hut nearby. I asked my daughter if she wanted a hamburger. She said she did and I walked to the McDs to get a burger. No soup for me. They only sell McNuggets. Can someone explain to me why a McDonald's only sells McNuggets? That's not the first thing anyone thinks of when they think of McD's. No, we think burgers. I walked back to my wife and daughter and the sad people from South Carolina and asked my little girl if she wanted McNuggets. I want a haaaambuuuuurger. She whined. Alright, I said. So I went in search of a burger. This was a theme park, how hard can it be to find a burger?! By this point, the walkway around the lake was getting quite crowded. Also, Im not certain, but I think I witnessed some gang activity. In any event, it felt less like Disney World and more like the local mall.
I walked clear around to Future World and while I walked, I noticed that the pre-Illuminations music had changed. About a year ago, I discovered Live365.com and one of the stations plays An Evening At Epcot every night from 5:30 to 6:30 PST. Im usually in my office at that time of day and I had gotten in the habit of listening to that music. So Im quite familiar with what music I was supposed to be hearing at this moment. Instead there was some new music which might be ok except it wasnt what I was expecting. And also, I had not yet found a hamburger. I turned around and headed the other way. Along the way I passed Mel HappyHaunt sitting on a bench wearing nothing but a sleeping bag. Her husband ran past me wearing what I thought was a pair of her sweats. It was all very strange.
Defeated, I returned back to my wife and daughter without anything meaningful for my daughter to eat. When I got back to where they were, there was a strange woman standing behind our stroller. I dont mean strange as in I didnt recognize her although I didnt, but strange as in, odd looking. Wearing sun glasses at night. Cue Corey Hart.
I asked my wife who she was and she didnt know. My wife is too polite to ever say, Excuse me, but who are you and why are you standing behind my stroller?! So I politely said, Excuse me. She ignored me. I said again, Excuse me. Again, a shoulder. Maam, would you mind if I stand next to my wife behind our stroller? She made a face as if I had just farted, which I hadnt, and she took a baby step to her right. Ok, fine, I can squeeze in. Really, I was more focused on the lack of any meaningful food to give my daughter. My wife and I discussed the lack of food in my hands and I suggested just getting her some McNuggets anyway. My wife said, Shes not stupid; shell know thats not a hamburger. Im not suggesting we trick her. Im suggesting that if shes hungry enough, the McNuggets will do. My daughter keyed into our conversation at this point and announced, I dont want McNuggets! So my wife produced a box of cereal from her back pack and suggested my daughter munch on that until we could find her something to eat. She liked that idea. Who wouldnt? It was Fruit Loops for crying out loud. You could live indefinitely on those things.
By this point, Illuminations was about to start. My sister and one of my nephews came walking up and joined us. We were crowded behind the stroller pretty tightly and I was standing so closely to the strange woman that I could hear her inner monologue. She was wondering whether the rumors were true about Nick and Jessica's marital problems. I noticed she was smallish and we could easily see over her, so I asked her if shed like for me to move our stroller so she could stand at the railing. Her face lit up as if I had just given her my seat on the bus. She stepped aside so I could back the stroller out of the way and she walked up to the railing. My wife, daughter, sister and nephew and I stood shoulder to shoulder behind her. The show started and not long into it, my daughter decided she didnt like fireworks again. Id forgotten how loud and in your face Illuminations is. You can feel it in your chest. I think thats cool; my daughter could live without it. So my wife took her and moved back behind us. After a few minutes they went and hid in the bathroom.
So Illuminations wasnt the idyllic family moment for the Zzubs. Worse things have happened in our lives. Auburn has beaten us four years in a row. My wife and daughter walked back to us and we hung out for a while letting most of the crowd out ahead of us. We eventually joined the unwashed masses and headed to the park exit and our bus stop. I hate, hate, HATE the end of the day bus ride. Youre stuck in a crowd of sweaty people, many of whom cant remember the last time they applied a deodorant. Most are rather tired. Some cuss freely. In the distance a baby is crying.
You know this is your fate when youre stuck in the middle of a crowd heading out of a park. You know whats waiting for you. Its not so nice. So we walk and walk and walk and finally get to our bus stop. The line was surprisingly small (it was like the crowd for a Pac 10 football team v. the crowd for an SEC team). There were two teenaged boys in front of us, their pants clearly too big. This raised two questions, 1. why would you wear pants to Epcot in what is essentially a summer month, and 2. if you are going to wear pants, shouldnt they fit? Can someone explain to me the allure of wearing pants 8 sizes too large for you so that youre constantly having to hold them up? It doesnt look good and I cant imagine it feels good either. At least in my day acid washed jeans were aesthetically appealing and not uncomfortable.
A bus arrived and we squeezed in. Someone gave up their seat for my wife and daughter and I stood holding a barely folded up stroller. I was facing backwards and the couple sitting in the seat in front of me were on their honeymoon. They had been in Disney World for a week and were leaving in the morning. They were from Canada.
As the Canadian Honeymooners were regaling me with tales of their trip and a drunken wedding reception, I was noticing that the trip back to PORiverside was taking a little long. PORiverside is not that far from Epcot and it was taking way too long to get back there. I looked out the bus window and saw Downtown Disney. No lie. Our driver got lost and we were headed past DTD towards the DTD hotels. He made a U-turn and headed back. The Canadian Honeymooners were oblivious to how lost we were and continued talking. Pictures and cake. Lots of drunk people and a funny wedding video. I feigned interest and nodded at all the appropriate moments. I've been married for a few years. I know how to do this. Eventually our driver found his way to our hotel and we got off the bus. The Canadian Honeymooners were still talking.
Into the food court we go and we finally got some meaningful food for my daughter. At least I think we did. For all I know we gave her more Fruit Loops. While my wife was fetching food, I went to the drink island for one of my free refills. As is my right for life or until 2042. I turned around to head back towards the food and I hear someone yell, Vote for Pedro! My work here is done.
Next time: What Hell feels like in summertime.
). Did you know your report is 44 pages long in WordPerfect?!! 
I called the front desk, they apologized and moved us to another room. When we opened the door, I thought I was going to die. It smelled like a college dorm and we missed the party. It was very obvious from the funky smell in the air that either something died in there or someone had a few too many and just couldnt make it to the rest room. This was the first time that we were staying on site mind you, and I couldnt believe that Disney didnt have better standards. Needless to say, I once again called the front desk and they moved us again. My husband at this point, was through. I tend to overpack and he was dragging the luggage from one location to another. We were all carrying luggage, but he is a UPS driver and said that if he's not getting paid, hes not "delivering" the luggage to another room. He was of course joking. Finally, we got a great room in AB. AB was great. It was clean, well cleaner than the first two rooms, and it was extremely close to the bus stop and the food court. We were very happy with AB. 
