mad madam mim78
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 21, 2012
I'm going to try to sum this up the best I can. Insight would be greatly appreciated.
My father is an old man in pretty bad shape. He has survived cancer last year and suffers from a bit of dementia. My mother is 20 years his junior and is now in charge of taking care of my dad. She works full time and basically is his caregiver.
My father has 2 other children from previous marriage. We have all remained fairly close. My mother has always claimed to like them but she has many issues with them. They are nice people but have never made major efforts to visit. The occasional call or Father's Day, birthday, or Christmas is about it. I will admit i am the same. We're all busy yadda yadda yadda. My father has never been much on reaching out either. Apples don't fall far.
I am now in between my brother and my mother.
My brother just wants to visit my dad when he gets a chance. My mother is basically holding my dad hostage and won't allow his other children to come see him. It's always too inconvenient for her. She has to clean. She has stuff to do. She has to take a nap. Whatever. My brother just wants to visit for a bit.
She is upset because she feels they basically only want to come around when its convenient for them and tread on her time and don't respect all she does for my dad when they contribute nothing except the short visit or call.
My brother is upset because my mom NEVER thinks its convenient for them to come over and he thinks the next time he's allowed to see my dad will be in a casket.
My mom insists that "anytime he wants to come pick your dad up and take him over to their house they can."
My brother doesn't do this so my mom takes that as they don't want to see him that bad. I know how I feel. I just want to know how others would take this. Any advice from people who have dealt with similar situations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Disers.
My father is an old man in pretty bad shape. He has survived cancer last year and suffers from a bit of dementia. My mother is 20 years his junior and is now in charge of taking care of my dad. She works full time and basically is his caregiver.
My father has 2 other children from previous marriage. We have all remained fairly close. My mother has always claimed to like them but she has many issues with them. They are nice people but have never made major efforts to visit. The occasional call or Father's Day, birthday, or Christmas is about it. I will admit i am the same. We're all busy yadda yadda yadda. My father has never been much on reaching out either. Apples don't fall far.
I am now in between my brother and my mother.
My brother just wants to visit my dad when he gets a chance. My mother is basically holding my dad hostage and won't allow his other children to come see him. It's always too inconvenient for her. She has to clean. She has stuff to do. She has to take a nap. Whatever. My brother just wants to visit for a bit.
She is upset because she feels they basically only want to come around when its convenient for them and tread on her time and don't respect all she does for my dad when they contribute nothing except the short visit or call.
My brother is upset because my mom NEVER thinks its convenient for them to come over and he thinks the next time he's allowed to see my dad will be in a casket.
My mom insists that "anytime he wants to come pick your dad up and take him over to their house they can."
My brother doesn't do this so my mom takes that as they don't want to see him that bad. I know how I feel. I just want to know how others would take this. Any advice from people who have dealt with similar situations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Disers.