Tell me about kids and money/allowance

[javeyloveschelsi]

We just started doing a dollar per age a week for our almost 10 year old. However, half goes automatically to a savings account, so she only receives $20 a month. We are opening her up a Jr checking account and there are a few bigger items she would like to save up for. It is not based on regular chores as the whole family works together, but going above and beyond to help out. She is homeschooled, so she has plenty of opportunities during the day to help. We can also lower her amount at any time if we feel it necessary to do so. Our younger children, once they reach elementary age (we have a kindergartner so she's already there) gets paid with play money a week at the beginning of the week--so $6 for her age on Monday. If she chooses not to help out with chores or do what is asked, she has to pay me a dollar of her play money. At the end of the week, we note how much she still has. She has a list of items she wants, so I assigned a play money dollar value to each item and she can chose to "cash in" her dollars when she reaches the amount of whatever item she is working towards and we buy it for her. Our 10 year old has always been very responsible with money, so real cash works whereas, the 6 year old has always been a free spender, so we are trying to teach her how to save.

 

[pkelly6]

We have 7yoDD and 9yoDD. We give $1/week according to age. Allowance not tied to chores; they are expected to help out as asked. What they do with their money is up to them. Sometimes they spend as soon as they get it, other times they save for something big.

 

[mrodgers]

No chores, they just sat on their rear ends playing on their phones/ipods/tablets/xBox/whatever. No allowance, they just got whatever they wanted no matter what financial situation the family was in. Electric bill a month late and they're coming to turn it off next Wednesday, well, the oldest is complaining about her cheap prepaid $30 phone and wants a Samsung S6, she got the Samsung S6 and the electric was figured out some other way.

TLDR: I'm divorced now

It still continues today. The oldest says her Samsung, only bought a year and a half ago, was glitching and junk. Mom was a month between jobs and wasn't getting paid. Instead of paying the car payment (still in my name) and her house payment (funny how she was turned down on the first mortgage she tried to get because she was 2 months late in paying the old mortgage, but didn't understand why and got mad at me when I told her probably because she's 2 months behind on the current mortgage,) she gets a $3500 tax refund and buys two $700 phones for the girls and new beds. My work phone now has 15 missed calls from PNC Bank for the car payment. She could have paid the $1500 left on the car and I would have immediately transferred it into her name, but that's just not as important as the girls having iPhone 7's. She could have sent in $502 to cover the 2 car payments that were late, but that's just not as important as the girls having new iPhone 7's.

$3500 tax refund and the two $400 child support payments from me for that month and she still couldn't figure out how to pay her $600 mortgage and two late $250.99 car payments. Now that the divorce is final, I am finding it quite comical. She digs herself further in the hole bringing in more money than both of us did together while I pay off 2 credit cards, put $1000 into a car then had to trade it as it needed far too much more work for what it was worth, put several $1000 down on a new car, paid my lawyer $5000, and saved up $10k for a mobile home to live in while bringing in 1/4th what we were bringing in as a family.

When I was a kid, I got an allowance but only saw it for mom to say, "here's your allowance", before it got put away to save. Birthday or holiday money from grandparents or aunts and uncles? Taken and put away to save. Turned 16 and got a job. Cash the paycheck and mom took it and put it away. Had to ask for my money to put gas in the car. Mom was a major self centered, narcissistic, selfish, opinionated, abrasive, mean, control freak. I never had any money growing up and didn't get anything. I didn't do so well starting out when I left as it was now all mine and I'll do whatever I want. All the forced to put 100% away in savings just taught me that mom is a major self centered, narcissistic, selfish, opinionated, abrasive, mean, control freak and I learned nothing about personal finances.