Teacher Vent!!!!

[Ceila]

This is so true, my son who is now 26 yrs soon, didn't walk till he was 2.5 years old.

Woman in the pt office with child around 13-15 months with child that could walk, but just with a bad gate always made me roll my eyes.

Really?? A bad gait can absolutely cause difficulties down the road, including back and knee pain later in life. Why shouldn't a parent take their child to PT to correct that? Just because your child had it worse, others shouldn't take care of their children's issues?

 

[Skywalker]

So glad I chose to post a vent about an issue I had with a teacher.

Between half of you saying there is nothing wrong if the teacher sees no problems and the other half saying the pediatrician, psychiatrist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist is not enough she needs a neurologists and the rest of you saying it's none of my business anyway because I'm not her parent despite being her primary caregiver I can't imagine why I would be feeling defensive.

So glad I have all the DIS doctors to tell me what I'm doing wrong....and with such concensus too.

Will I bring up seeing a neurologist with all her doctors? Yes. Will I cancel all the appointments with the medical professionals recommended by the medical professional who has actually seen DSD, unlike all of you I might add? No.

Why would you expect consensus? What you are getting a diverse group of opinions from a diverse group of people...and they are all trying to helpful to you so I don't know why you need to get an attitude with people. I read this thread and I saw people taking their time to try and HELP you in some way. Doesn't mean they all have to agree with you in order to do that.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

So glad I chose to post a vent about an issue I had with a teacher. Between half of you saying there is nothing wrong if the teacher sees no problems and the other half saying the pediatrician, psychiatrist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist is not enough she needs a neurologists and the rest of you saying it's none of my business anyway because I'm not her parent despite being her primary caregiver I can't imagine why I would be feeling defensive. So glad I have all the DIS doctors to tell me what I'm doing wrong....and with such concensus too. Will I bring up seeing a neurologist with all her doctors? Yes. Will I cancel all the appointments with the medical professionals recommended by the medical professional who has actually seen DSD, unlike all of you I might add? No.

So glad I used my years of experience to make observations, voice concerns and explain why teachers are they way they are to a person that is only interested in dealing with people that see what she wants them to see and refuses to understand that differing opinions help in the end. Next time I try and help somebody that is struggling with something I went through and have been going through for 17 years I'll think twice and just assume she's another twit looking to shove her kid into the box she picked and keep my experience to myself.

 

[msjprincess]

So glad I chose to post a vent about an issue I had with a teacher.

Between half of you saying there is nothing wrong if the teacher sees no problems and the other half saying the pediatrician, psychiatrist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist is not enough she needs a neurologists and the rest of you saying it's none of my business anyway because I'm not her parent despite being her primary caregiver I can't imagine why I would be feeling defensive.

So glad I have all the DIS doctors to tell me what I'm doing wrong....and with such concensus too.

Will I bring up seeing a neurologist with all her doctors? Yes. Will I cancel all the appointments with the medical professionals recommended by the medical professional who has actually seen DSD, unlike all of you I might add? No.

I think a blog may be a better place for you to vent if you don't want anyone to offer their opinion or give you advice.

 

[luvsJack]

Sure but if you get enough subtle signs that are far enough behind the curve it starts to become questionable.

Not walking by 13 months and everything else normal? Not a cause for concern.

Not walking until 18 months with other indicators? Could be a problem.

I am not an alarmist. And I am not the only person to notice issues. About the only people who HAVEN'T noticed things are FMIL and this teacher.

I am not saying this child is not delayed. I don't know the child and am not a dr. But I do know children that didn't walk until 18 months, some that didn't talk until well past 2, some that weren't potty trained until 4, etc. All of these kids reached thpse milestones and caught up with everyone else. The preschool teacher could be seeing things you do not.

She was wrong in the way she expressed her views but don't totally discount what she is saying.

The one child that I taught that was seriously behind in learning to talk, it was more about emotional issues than anything else. The anger tht he displayed ONLY with his mother showed that more than anything else. We never saw anything but a sweet little boy that wouldn't talk.

Just remember that much of what you reaf and see online are milestone guidelines. All children are different and there can be a multitude of reasons why they may or may not be close to the target.

 

[aaarcher86]

I think a blog may be a better place for you to vent if you don't want anyone to offer their opinion or give you advice.

A blog with a disabled comments section.

 

[dis-happy]

This is so true, my son who is now 26 yrs soon, didn't walk till he was 2.5 years old.

Woman in the pt office with child around 13-15 months with child that could walk, but just with a bad gate always made me roll my eyes.

I assume you mean "bad gait". Regardless, unless you are a trained professional, don't make assumptions. My DS made most of his milestones, but always at the tail end of normal. When he was finally PT assessed I was concerned about one thing, a leg that was noticeably weaker than the other. However, his problems turned out to include feet issues, ligament issues, muscle weakness, low tone, and a weak core. Our first year of PT was an eye opener of seeing how he compensates for his issues. His ability to hyper extend could cause joint issues down the line (confirmed by my neighbor's experience whose dd had knee surgery at 16 because no one ever noticed her hyper extension ).

Just because you think nothing is wrong doesn't mean anything. If a child can catch a ball or do well in school would you assume said child doesn't need eyeglasses? If teeth looked straight to you would you assume no orthodontia is necessary? My only regret with PT is not pursuing it sooner, as more progress can be made the earlier it starts.

 

[HM]

OP, I've been reading this whole thread. I don't have any skin in the game but am finding this a very interesting topic and so have been very keen to see what others have said. I think you've gotten lots of great differing advice and put together as a whole, I think this community has pulled together to help you in a way that few threads her on this Board do. You are on the right path....many people have mentioned this.

I think you may want to print and save this thread to read at a later date so that you can remember some of what the people who have actually been in your shoes have written. These are the people you should be listening to the hardest. This thread is really great and I'm sorry you don't see that right now. But, maybe later you will after a bit of time has gone by.

 

[mom2rtk]

It seems like you were not looking for discussion or advice, but perhaps validation?

 

[Hrhpd]

So glad I chose to post a vent about an issue I had with a teacher.

Between half of you saying there is nothing wrong if the teacher sees no problems and the other half saying the pediatrician, psychiatrist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist is not enough she needs a neurologists and the rest of you saying it's none of my business anyway because I'm not her parent despite being her primary caregiver I can't imagine why I would be feeling defensive.

So glad I have all the DIS doctors to tell me what I'm doing wrong....and with such concensus too.

Will I bring up seeing a neurologist with all her doctors? Yes. Will I cancel all the appointments with the medical professionals recommended by the medical professional who has actually seen DSD, unlike all of you I might add? No.

Nobody, absolutely NObody has said that it is none of your business because you are not a legal guardian. Only that you may have problems getting all the information you need to help this child, which I applaud, since you do not have legal standing with her. You said you were worried the Mom was going to forbid you to go to the psychiatrist's meeting. This is absolutely her right and a problem you may encounter in the future. In the eyes of the privacy laws, it does not matter that you are a caregiver. So is a nanny. The only reason it was brought up was to question if you were getting all the information from the teachers since they were not legally allowed to tell you if there were problems in the classroom.

I also wonder why you are so angry that the school, so angry that neither the teachers nor the evaluation (which by the way, you said the observation was much longer in previous threads than you do here) indicated any delays. While a school may fight you on services for budgetary reasons, they are not going to forge any standardized tests to not provide services as that would be way to huge of a legal liability. It would be too easy to prove they manipulated a standardized test.

You should be jumping with joy that the school is not seeing any problems. It should give you hope that perhaps her behavior is actually due to her early poor environment.

For the record, my comments are not only based on this thread, but also the other threads you have posted on this, which you invited readers to read in your first post by saying "you may remember my other posts about this." I didn't remember, so I went to refresh my memory. They are quite eye opening and a bit different than what you present in this thread.

Again, I think it is great you are pursuing evaluations. But keep an open mind.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Nobody, absolutely NObody has said that it is none of your business because you are not a legal guardian. Only that you may have problems getting all the information you need to help this child, which I applaud, since you do not have legal standing with her. You said you were worried the Mom was going to forbid you to go to the psychiatrist's meeting. This is absolutely her right and a problem you may encounter in the future. In the eyes of the privacy laws, it does not matter that you are a caregiver. So is a nanny. The only reason it was brought up was to question if you were getting all the information from the teachers since they were not legally allowed to tell you if there were problems in the classroom.

I also wonder why you are so angry that the school, so angry that neither the teachers nor the evaluation (which by the way, you said the observation was much longer in previous threads than you do here) indicated any delays. While a school may fight you on services for budgetary reasons, they are not going to forge any standardized tests to not provide services as that would be way to huge of a legal liability. It would be too easy to prove they manipulated a standardized test.

You should be jumping with joy that the school is not seeing any problems. It should give you hope that perhaps her behavior is actually due to her early poor environment.

For the record, my comments are not only based on this thread, but also the other threads you have posted on this, which you invited readers to read in your first post by saying "you may remember my other posts about this." I didn't remember, so I went to refresh my memory. They are quite eye opening and a bit different than what you present in this thread.

Again, I think it is great you are pursuing evaluations. But keep an open mind.

I read one of those other threads too. It's interesting to see how differently things were presented in that one.
I think keeping an open mind is pretty much out the door.
In the other thread I read, Op actually said she was disappointed the school evaluation found no causes for concern. She was hoping for some type of developmental issues so she'd get help.
I understand she's frustrated and dealing with behavioral issues she didn't create. Her fiance works long hours and she feels like these problems were dumped on her. It sounds like she wants the kid to have a diagnosis to explain her problems because that's easier than dealing with an unstable early environment creating these problems.
Oh and in the other thread ishe says the child's pediatrician and a developmental specialist both found the child to be developing normally.

 

[Pembo]

OP - As a teacher of children with disabilities, the preschool teacher was out of line. You asked her to complete a rating scale. She should have said ok. It was not the time or place for her to debate with you what the doctors have said. From your post, you didn't ask for her opinion, you asked her to complete a rating scale.

We often have students bring in rating scales. They are used for many purposes. The teacher should complete it honestly. When it is returned the docs will interpret the scores accordingly.

Maybe your dsd doesn't exhibit those behaviors at school and that's okay.

Again, not the teacher's best moment to give her opinion.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Next time I try and help somebody that is struggling with something I went through and have been going through for 17 years I'll think twice....

MTE.... As I have posted here on several different similar threads... and my son is now a teenager.... BTDT, just like the quote above.

The thing is this: I definitely WILL have second thoughts... But, overall, I would probably post anyhow, because, to me, ANY input and advice that might eventually be considered and HELP THE CHILD, is worth the feed-back from a very overwhelmed and defensive (even almost paranoid) parent/caregiver.

I did want to add this....
It is interesting, the different TAKES on this.
I have also given some well meaning information and advice to another parent, of a child EXACTLY the same age.

In that case, the parent did NOT want to have the necessary evaluation (by a good Ped. NeuroPsych) because they did NOT want to confirm that there precious child might have some developmental issues.

In this case, I am beginning to wonder if this parent/caregiver does not want to consider the advice to have this kind of full evaluation and testing done, because they do NOT want to confirm that the child DOES NOT HAVE any of these issues... and any problems will all be considered the parents and caregivers fault... with no validation and no services 'help'.

Quite the polar opposite.

Anyhow, to the OP and to anyone else dealing with a child who could possibly have these kinds of issues... There is only ONE way to find out. And, that is a full evaluation by a competant and objective Ped. Neurologist. That is the only way to get real answers. Not a 'pre-school teacher'... Not a 'physical therapist'.. Not a 'psychiatrist' (especially for a 4 year old), and not a chat-board.

PS: Just another side note, referring to the comments about 'gait'.... While it wasn't apparent at just 4 years old... My son's gait has been just slightly off. When I had gone to the bookstore, as I described above, and read about this possible diagnosis, devepmental condition... I can remember seeing the word 'gait' mentioned. Come to find out, more recently, after a visit to a new (and excellent) Chiropractor, this is not a neurological thing at all, but an actual physical/orthopedic thing. I am now thinking that there is a definite link, like in the genetics, between these two things, even though at first thought, there would not seem to be any link between neurology and the natural mis-formation of the lower spine. Anyhow, yes, this is now something that is seriously affecting his posture and his entire spinal alignment in a very negative way.

 

[bedillamouse]

Just another possibility for the toe walking....I have a friend who's son was just found to have double vision which caused the toe walking. He's in 5th grade...has had decent grades but there was things the mom just felt wasn't right. I am not saying that your DSD doesn't have ADHD or whatever the specialist will find out...I just thought I'd throw out there that double vision can be a hidden missed issue.

Good Luck!!