Surprise or Anticipation for the kids???

[Pesky]

We surprised our then 4 and 6 YO with the DLR trip. As in they had no idea until we were in the hotel (GC) and asked if they knew where they were. (DS's response? "The hotel!") DD loved being surprised so much she wants all our trips to be surprises.

What I have done for the upcoming WDW trip is kind of both. They know we are going at some point but do not know when. I've told them I won't even begin to consider WDW until they can walk 2 miles a day so I am confident that the walking won't be THAT horrible for them. It's a nice incentive to start exercising as a family and the kids have sure bit that bait! They have zero idea I have fixed the date and will start reserving rooms soon. Because they know I am Disney-obsessed and that we will go "some day," I can get away with showing them things and asking about where they want to stay, what to see and what to do. While I was looking forward to having them plan with me and get excited, it's also a lot of fun to plan a surprise too.

 

[pinkprincess30]

Last time we went (our first trip) we told them ahead of time so they could participate in the anticipation of it all. It was fun to plan together and to talk about all the stuff we were going to do! They also got to learn about working toward a goal as they saved for their souvenir money (we gave them some as well).

Here is what we are doing this time...best of both worlds! Our kids know we are saving for another trip. We put money in our Disney jar every chance we get and make a point to sacrifice in some areas so we can put more in the jar. They all got Disney gift cards for good grades and one for Christmas as well. We talk about what types of things we want to do when we go, and our favorite rides, etc. They are thinking we might have enough to finally go in a year or so. BUT we have a trip booked for April 29th and they have no idea! We will tell them to get in the car because WE'RE GOING RIGHT NOW! We can't wait!

 

[MandiC]

Knowing my kids, a surprise would not be a good thing. They would be stressed out/anxious kids, they are planners like their mom My husband surprised me with a trip on my birthday last month (not Disney), he told me Monday and we left Thursday and I thought we were going to have to go to the ER on Friday I had such bad stomach pain from the stress (couldn't even stand up straight).

I prefer, a 'surprise' a few weeks before the trip. We told the kids on Christmas last time and flew out on January 31 and that was pretty perfect. I will try to stay in the 4-6 weeks ahead of time range for future trips.

 

[CassiTiede]

Love all the different views. We leave in 84 days and haven't told our daughter yet. We are thinking we will tell her the Saturday before we leave so she can digest the information and be excited!

 

[sahm2two]

We have lots of time to decide lol, I wouldn't DARE tell my kids a year and 7 months in advance. We definitely want to go during their fall break, and this year isn't an option monetarily AND we can't afford to go often, so we'd like for all the kids to be able to ride all the rides and remember the trip, so the thought is that next October they'll be 6, 7 and 8 and be tall, able to walk on their own mostly, and will remember it at least a little. AND still young enough to have all the magic there. I'm thinking I like the idea of surprising them like a month or two out, maybe around the time I have to start doing ADRs and FP+ so they can be in on the planning.

Personally, I'm a planner (obviously... since I'm here a year and 1/2 out), and it'd probably stress me out to be that surprised and my oldest DD is exactly like me, so I can see her being stressed/anxious about a surprise. She would also be REALLY into the planning (just like mama ), so I don't know if I want to take that away from her. I like the idea of surprising them with a gift of a countdown, etc. So we don't have a build up of a year, but maybe a couple months.

 

[nolenbelledavis]

We've done it both ways. My kids LOVED the surprise. They want me to surprise them again, which I think is pretty cute. We picked them up from school because they had a "dentist" appointment. My husband told them they had to run home to brush their teeth first, which they thought was strange, but still, no clue. (They were 3, 7, and 8). I had Mickey Mouse sacks sitting out on the couch with goodies inside the bags, like autograph books, and other little goodies. I had had them wear Disney shirts to school that day, but they hadn't thought anything about it. So they just weren't cluing in at all. Finally, we had to spell it out that we were going to WDW, not only in general, but at that moment and in fact we were running late and had to hustle. We flew SW and we were about the last to board so we didn't get to sit together. I could hear my daughter, who was about 2 rows up, talking about the surprise for almost the entire flight. She was just laughing the other day about how totally surprised they are, even with the little clues, like the shirts. The really tough part was packing at night so they wouldn't see the luggage. They don't actually plan anything about the vacations, so that was irrelevant to them.

 

[HockeyIsLife]

My girls have been to WDW many times. We have done it both ways where they knew about the trip and helped plan, and when they were surprised.
There are benefit to both. It becomes "worth the money" for me because when they involved with the planning it seems to last longer. They love to count down and I love to see them planning and making guesses.
When we surprise them, it is great too because then there isn't an anticipation for them that is distracting. School ALWAYS comments that they are so distracted leading up to a Disney trip, which can be challenging. but be careful. When my kids noticed me packing for the trip a few weeks before, we told them we were going to visit my Grandmother, who lives on a lake. When I woke them up to leave, and my youngest came to, and I told her where we were actually going, she BURST into tears and cried "I want to see Gram instead!!!" Oops.
This time we switched it up. We gave them the surprise at Christmas. Told them that we were going, but we didn't tell them when. So we leave in April.
To be mean I was thinking we should wake them up and fake them out a few times.
Gotta keep them on their toes.

 

[Gracie09]

we did a bit of both. We told our girls they were going after they turned 5. So they got to help plan what they wanted to do but didn't know exactly when they were going. They were so in lala land that morning that they didn't get clued in until we turned the wrong way going to school. Then one cried because she wanted to go to school until we got to the airport and it sunk in.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We surprised our kids once, when our son graduated Kindergarten. After that, we wanted to make sure we got their input on dinner, hotel, etc.

And it was so hard to maintain the first time, we didn't think we could do it again.

 

[HCinKC]

The "reveal"? A "Secret Decoder Message", a magnifying glass a pencil & a "letter" with instructions will arrive by mail in a box marked "Top Secret" on departure day. They'll have to work together to "decode" the message that reads: "Going On Mickey Cruise TODAY!!"

This is similar to what I will be doing. We are going in May, so I am going to have ODS's Easter egg hunt be a scavenger hunt. There will be clues in each egg leading him to his basket. His basket will be filled with trip items and the news that we are going.

I thought about doing a surprise, but I don't think it's his style. He would pester us the entire plane ride. He's been asking for a family trip, so I am pretty sure he would come to the conclusion that we'd be meeting up with his cousin and be disappointed that we aren't. I also want to pump him up for Disney. He's never been, so he has no idea what to be surprised about. I feel like a month out is enough time to get him excited without being too long to wait.

 

[AlexisMaxMommy]

I guess there are benefits to both. For our last trip, I made a countdown calendar which was actually a good learning experience for my daughter because, whenever she asked me how many days were left, I told her to go count on the calendar.

 

[sharona]

Our last trip (DD was 8) we really enjoyed planning our itinerary together. We reviewed youtubes of some of the big kid rides that we had skipped on previous visits like BTMRR and Splash, we talked about which countries we wanted to visit at EPCOT, what shows we should see and what characters we really wanted to meet. I was happy that I included her in the planning process and I think it made the trip more enjoyable for us both. The anticipation of the trip was part of the fun.

I did keep a few surprises to myself though. We were booked at POP for 8 nights and I secretly changed the last 3 nights to AKL which was her dream resort. Also didn't let on that when we had our Sea World day we would be doing one of the dolphin encounters where you feed and pet the dolphins in a private group. Those were nice surprises and it was fun to spring them on her.

 

[MandiC]

Oh yes, despite telling the kids in advance we did have 'surprises' while we were there. I hadn't told them about any of our ADRs, I set out cute letters from the characters (made by the wonderful people on the DISigners board!) each morning (I actually set them out at night after the kids fell asleep) inviting them to eat at the different places we ate.

 

[mpeanut]

We have never done the surprise, but I think it would be fun. I'm such a planner and a talker so I'm not sure I could keep the surprise. I enjoyed including our oldest in planning our last trip and we enjoyed a few movie nights and shopping trips to prepare. If I thought I could pull off a surprise, I think I would try it next time.
Enjoy your trip!

 

[BitByDisneyBug]

I am crazy conflicted about this issue. We are going to WDW at the end of May/beginning of June and this will be our DD's first trip (and our first since 2000!). She's turning 6 and so far, we haven't told her we're going. DH wants to just drive to Florida under the guise of seeing my grandmother (which we're doing the following week..) and just show up at WDW and wait for her to flip out with excitement! Part of me wants to tell her in advance and plan and talk about it with her because *I'm* so freaking excited! If we tell her, she's going to bug us every single day about when we're going, but part of me enjoys counting down the sleeps until vacation. I think for the time being we're sticking with surprising her and watch her head explode!!! You'll all probably hear the squeal wherever you are!

 

[jerseygirl82]

DD is 4 and since our trips are planned well in advance due to being DVC members, she is always in the know and part of the planning, excitement, anticipation, etc. However, we just last week book a last minute trip during spring break. Since this is probably my only opportunity to do so, we are going to surprise her. So every time we talk about Disney lately she thinks our big November trip when I'm actually doing things for a month from now!

 

[HCinKC]

So we ended up changing our plan for telling ODS. We decided to do it now because hiding the planning was becoming a hassle. We will be there for SWW, so he got a (paper) holocron with a special coded message for Yoda inside. He was more excited about the holocron and breaking the code than he was about what the code actually said lol. He had no clue what WDW was and kept asking if JTA was for real. We showed him a WDW booklet and went online. Even after watching videos, he never got loud/crazy excited. He says he is excited, and I believe him...but it was quite underwhelming for DH and me. My point is, think of what would work best for your kid, not what you think is the most fun way. LOL.

 

[Julylady]

I think most times the "surprise" is more for the parent's benefit than the kids. And often, when surprised, the kids don't give parent the type of reaction they were anticipating. I would never surprise a child who is going on their first trip to Disney World. For smaller kids (under 7), I think its important to watch youtube videos of the rides, parks, and hotels to introduce the whole idea of Disney to them. I would also watch all the major Disney movies with them in advance of the trip. Disney World is overwhelming. Give them some frame of reference to help them organize the experience. It will also give you a sense of what rides might frighten them and you can talk them through it. Same issues for older kids.

If the kids have been to Disney before, you might want to surprise them, but then you deprive them of all the anticipation. I get that parents don't want to be asked "When are we going to Disney" starting from a year out though. I have found that the sweet spot is about 8-10 weeks out. It gives them plenty of time to get excited and help with the planning, but isn't months and months away. The older the kids are, the earlier I tell them. I have taken various assortments of seven nieces and nephews to Disney for the past 20 years. We held special events to "plan our trip," including discussing restaurants, which park on which day, which parades and shows were not to be missed, etc. They loved this!

I think the worst idea is to "surprise" a school-aged child on the day of the trip. In their minds they have "plans" for the next week and missing those plans is anxiety-producing. Yes, going to Disney might be more fun than Sally's birthday party, but they were really wanting to go to Sally's party and now they will miss it. Or, they know that the social studies project is due next Wednesday, and they want to hear the teacher say in person that its alright to turn it in late. They also want to say "goodbye" to their friends (and pets) and make sure their friends know they are coming back (Save my seat in the cafeteria). I have also experienced that some kids are just better travelers than others. For some kids, not being at home is anxiety producing on its own without making it a surprise.

I am currently planning a trip for July with my 13 and 10 year old nieces. They have know about this trip since January. We have picked the resorts (split stay) and restaurants together. After some research, we have decided which day to attend which park. We have decided not to include a water park day after considerable research. After reading several reviews, we have picked Hoop de Doo over the Aloha dinner show or Mickey's backyard BBQ. They have done a lot of "on-line" research which has been super fun for them! But, I have also planned some surprises that they don't know about including the Pirates and Pals Fireworks cruise.

 

[PhillyCruiser]

I think most times the "surprise" is more for the parent's benefit than the kids.

I think the worst idea is to "surprise" a school-aged child on the day of the trip. In their minds they have "plans" for the next week and missing those plans is anxiety-producing.

You're right, despite the kids' reactions (kids are unpredictable!), surprises also benefit parents too! DH & I are personally having a BALL planning our Departure Day Cruise Surprise! I'm sure the motivation for all surprise-planning parents (as well as those that choose to include their kids in the planning) is simple: Do something special & memorable for the kids. Our kids are school-age and the only "plan" they have is school. But, somehow, I don't think they'll mind missing a day or two.

 

[WhispyPixie]

We have done it BOTH ways! Either way has its benefits. To be honest, it really doesn't matter...just going to Disney is the awesome thing! They loved the planning of it..and they loved it when they thought we were going to "Charleston" and didn't notice we weren't there until we pulled up to a Disney sign..haha!