suicide...

[coolbeans]

I know that no one can truly answer this question but I just need to vent it thru.. I've been out of our office this week till today, came to work and found out that one of my customers commited suicide this week, he was married with a 12 year old daughter. From what I've gathered his wife was recently diagnosed with cancer and he lost his job.. I don't even really know him any more than coming in and casual conversation but the whole situation is just messing with my head... He left his wife, daughter, mom, dad .. and friends.
When I was younger, I remember getting angry to the point that I would think about suicide but obviously never acted on it.. what could possibly be that awful... and I know there could be a hundred other "hidden" things that I don't know about, but it's really bothering my mind and my heart.. I feel so bad for his wife and daughter, I sent condolences on the funeral home website and plan on mailing a card and a donation to the bank where the assistance fund is held. I guess I just needed to write it down and vent.. thanks for reading.

 

[Rebelmom67]

A "normal" person is never going to understand suicide, never. Anyone who could commit such an act already has emotional problems that are too much for them to deal with.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

So sorry to hear about this, especially in light of the fact that this man had a wife with cancer and a young daughter. I too often wonder what drives someone to the point of suicide. It's so very sad to think that an individual comes to a decision like that because they truly feel death is better than living. Very sad. It sounds like you did the proper and compassionate thing by sending a card, contributing to the assistance fund and signing the funeral website.

Not the same thing but I was once involved in a medical forum where a young girl was contemplating suicide and it was very frightening. I know life is hard and it makes me really appreciate what I have when I hear stories like this. It is so unsettling. I hope you feel better and can cope with this, especially at work.

 

[EdiePA]

A psychiatrist, at the hospital I work at, once explained it as, "Suicide is about pain." It's about being in overwhelming, crushing psychological pain and having no resources to take away that pain. A suicidal person isn't thinking about anyone else or anything else but making the pain stop.

It's so sad. We have patients who repeatedly are suicidal and with some of them you truly know that one day they will be successful no matter what we do.

I admire your compassion and caring for those left behind.

Edie

 

[N&B'smom]

I know how you feel. We had a suicide in our town this last year. It was a dad who also coached a few sports in town and my DS had him for football. Everyone knew him. He killed himself and left behind an 11 year old son and a 2 year old daughter.

Even though I didn't know him well and what I did know of him I didn't necessarily like, it still REALLY bothered me. I just kept thinking about his children and his wife. It just made me feel sick.

 

[coolbeans]

I think part of what bugs me is that he was in the office last week.. I remember seeing him.. we commented on his car and one of my coworkers mentioned that he was a cutie (she said HOT!) and I told her.. he's married with a kid, off limits!! I'm just heartbroken.

 

[Liberty Belle]

How very sad.

Suicide is terrible. It's touched our family, too.

I have to ask, though...are there two "coolbeans"?

 

[Serena]

I am so sorry.

 

[C.Ann]

That's very, very sad - and since you were not close to the family, you may never know the reasons..

It may have been a person who was so emotionally distraught, they didn't know what else to do..

It may have been a side effect of medication for depression - or several other illnesses..

It may have been a side effect from taking Chantix to quit smoking..

He may not have been able to afford his wife's cancer treatments and mistakenly thought his life insurance would pay off and take care of his family - in spite of the fact that he commited suicide..

Losing his job may have made him feel helpless and worthless..

There's a million reasons why - but unless someone leaves a note explaining their final thoughts, those left behind may never know..

It's very kind of you to do what you are doing.. My heart goes out to his family..

 

[Sparx]

A psychiatrist, at the hospital I work at, once explained it as, "Suicide is about pain." It's about being in overwhelming, crushing psychological pain and having no resources to take away that pain. A suicidal person isn't thinking about anyone else or anything else but making the pain stop.

It's so sad. We have patients who repeatedly are suicidal and with some of them you truly know that one day they will be successful no matter what we do.

I admire your compassion and caring for those left behind.

Edie

this is completely true. (i'm a psychology student) and i have always felt that sucidial people have a break with reality, and they really just delve into themselves, and they only want to stop hurting.

 

[MoniqueU]

A psychiatrist, at the hospital I work at, once explained it as, "Suicide is about pain." It's about being in overwhelming, crushing psychological pain and having no resources to take away that pain. A suicidal person isn't thinking about anyone else or anything else but making the pain stop.

It's so sad. We have patients who repeatedly are suicidal and with some of them you truly know that one day they will be successful no matter what we do.

I admire your compassion and caring for those left behind.

Edie

This about sums it up.

 

[coolbeans]

How very sad.

Suicide is terrible. It's touched our family, too.

I have to ask, though...are there two "coolbeans"?

There are, I am coolbeans and then there is Cool-Beans.. I was first but it's cool! (beans!!)

 

[MidNite]

this is completely true. (i'm a psychology student) and i have always felt that sucidial people have a break with reality, and they really just delve into themselves, and they only want to stop hurting.

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

 

[coolbeans]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

thank you for sharing something so personal, you have brought tears to my eyes.. I'm glad that you are still with us to bring some light to others.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[C.Ann]

I attempted suicide in 2006 and got thisclose to succeeding. It was only by a miracle I didn't. And yes, it's a crushing, overwhelming pain you just want to stop any way you can. I didn't think of it as selfish because I hated myself so much that I thought that I would be doing everyone a favor.

I had a friend who succeeded at it in December 2008. I didn't find out til February of this year. I have never felt such pain in my life. So please, if anyone's considering it, reach out til you get in touch with someone, anyone.

Also, I would appreciate no flaming — not that ya'll would. It's just still a little raw.

No flames here.. Thank you for sharing something so personal and painful.. I'm so very glad you are still here to post..

 

[browneyes106]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your customer.Suicide is very complicated. I feel for the wife and daughter.

 

[Liberty Belle]

There are, I am coolbeans and then there is Cool-Beans.. I was first but it's cool! (beans!!)

Ah, ok. Thank you for letting me know. I was confused!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I contemplated it back in 1997. I had had my first real relationship where my boyfriend and I lived together and he left one day. I was absolutely heartbroken and I definitely thought about it. Then I thought about the people I would leave behind. That's what I would think about now before doing anything like that as well. In fact, when I started reconnecting with some of my family that I hadn't talked to in a long time one of my first thoughts was the fact that I would leave people (other than my parents) behind who would be heartbroken if anything ever happened to me. I have struggled with depression as well as post-traumatic stress disorder (due to abuse) but I wouldn't want to hurt someone else like that.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

I have to ask, though...are there two "coolbeans"?

If there was just one, wouldn't it be "coolbean"?