Suggestions for the wait/fears

[Illybell]

Hello all you lovely Disney addicts!

Its been a few years since I was last to Disney and I'm getting ready to go back and for a big deal trip this time. My mom and I are taking my 3 little cousins (6/7/8) on their very first time to Disney (and first big vaca). I've been 10+ times in the last 20 some years and so I don't really remember what it was like being 6 and waiting for my first trip.

Of the 3 kids, the middle and younger ones are girls and super excited for rides and meeting the princesses. The oldest is a boy and he is terrified of his own shadow.

I figured you wonderful people might have some suggestions for 2 things:

1) How to get the kids through the wait. They've known about this for ages and at 4 months out, they're at that "are we there yet" kind of stage. I'm assuming all kids get like this waiting and wondered if there's anything you've done with kids to help them and make it super special for all 3. (Also should mention that I don't live with them and see them in person only every couple weeks.) I have a hard enough time waiting for Disney as an almost 30 year old, I know its worse under 10

2) If anyone has experience with handling kids who aren't tiny but are terrified of going, what if anything helped calm them and got them to do anything at the parks. We have watched videos, he has a book about the park, we've shown pictures of everything but he is adamant that he is not riding a single ride there because they're all way too scary. Now I'm not meaning I want to force him onto like Tower of Terror or anything, I'm not mean. I just want to soothe the fear over the next couple months so he can enjoy a place I know he'll love if he's relaxed.

Thank you all in advance for any and all help! I know I have time, but working the kids up for the trip is getting me through the eternity until I get back to the magic!

 

[Pesky]

1) Countdown chain! you can either put it together for them or give it to them to do. All different kinds and then they can remove a link each day. If you want, you can handwrite a fun fact about WDW, character or Disney movie on each link to up the anticipation.
2) Start talking about the calmer and quieter aspects of the park. Sitting on the riverboat. Watching the birds and how you have to guard your lunch at some places! Singing from the wishing well. The items to see in the queue. I'd also talk about how safe it is. "See all those people milling about -- they went on rides. They look totally fine. So you can tell it is safe." Remind him that it is his call and he has control and perhaps he should keep a log of rides he enjoyed and ones he did not. Remind him that in some, he can choose the seating if he is uncomfortable, like in the middle of you all or with you or your mom, and that he can ask to take a quiet break. Finally, might as well think old-fashioned -- bribery. Consider "bravery" certificates. The other 2 will still want them despite not having the same level of fears so think about that. Maybe it is just some cool stickers. Maybe it is a special treat. Maybe it is a bravery ticket that they can build towards a special souvenir (10 tickets = $10 or $20, etc.).

 

[Aliceacc]

Let him know, loud and clear and often, that he won't have to do anything he's not comfortable with-- and mean it.

If the fireworks frighten him, you'll take him into a shop, or stay at the resort for night swimming. If he wants to skip Pirates of the Carribean, you'll wait outside with him and grab a Mickey bar.

Start the trip with rides and attractions that are totally outdoors, where he can see the entire ride-- like the Teacups and the People mover. Then consider something like Buzz Lightyear-- it's just a shooting arcade game, nothing too scary. And the Laugh Floor, Mike Wizowski makes jokes to make the audience laugh... he can even text in a joke that they may or may not use. Do not, under any circumstances, take him on Stitch in the MK or It's Tough to be a Bug at AK.

Let him know about the little playground just under Splash Mountain. It's designed for younger kids, but he can play there and relax if it makes him feel better. He can ride the monorail. He can ride the WDW railroad. Lots and lots and lots of not at all scary things to do that he'll enjoy.

At Epcot, make sure he knows about the Kidcot stations, where he can color and get his drawing stamped from each of the countries if he wants to. And let him know that a lot of Epcot isn't really rides; let him know about all the exhibits like Innoventions https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/attractions/epcot/innoventions/ and Club Cool and Agent P.

In short, let him know that there's enough there specifically designed for a kid just like him.

Is he afraid of the characters? One thing that helped tremendously when my son was about that age was his sister's stroller. He pushed it through the park, whether she was in it or not, and it acted like a barrier between him and any characters that might jump out and surprise him. (Nope, we know that wasn't going to happen. But what mattered was his perception, not the reality.) It made a huge difference for him, but without painting him as someone who was afraid. (And yes, he's leaving for college in 2 weeks, unafraid of a big mouse. This too shall pass.)

 

[Illybell]

Oh thank you so much for the responses so fast!

Due to dining reservation openings our first day is at Epcot. I hadn't even thought about the options for him there! Thanks Aliceacc! I think now that's a good place to start and he can vent some of his tension in whining about having to go to a princess lunch lol.

The bribery is such a good idea Pesky! The tickets sound great since the girls have a tendency to misbehave so they can have their own type, and he is very big on having his own money so a couple dollars to get him to have fun sounds worth it to me!

 

[Aliceacc]

But do him a favor. I know you think he's being unreasonable and "whiney" and "afraid of his own shadow."

But he's a 7 year old kid. I know lots of adults with fears I don't consider reasonable-- my 16 year old daughter yesterday had to "protect" my 50+ year old neighbor from a bee. Yet we don't mock adults for fears.

These fears are very real to that 7 year old boy. If you're going to be one of the adults on this trip, take his fears seriously, and do what you can to alleviate them without implying that he's being a baby.


OK, starting your first day at Epcot can work out great. Do your lunch. Then do Innoventions; it's a walk through. Do Club Cool. Do the Living Seas. See whether he'll do the Nemo ride there. Then walk to Imagination. .If he doesn't want to do the ride, meet the others at the gift shop; I bet you can walk in from there to all the non-ride computer games there. The PIxar short film thing is just a movie, nothing scaryHit the countries, starting with Mexico, and see whether you can coax him onto the boat ride there; if not, you can wander among all the shop stalls. Lots and lots to see and do, nothing scary.

Likewise, he won't want to do Test Track. Fine. Go into the gift shop, and enter the Chevy car exhibit there-- lots to do. The gift shop at Mission Space also offers stuff to do.

 

[Illybell]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a monster. I just wanted to get the idea across. He's my buddy and I totally get being scared like he is. I've dealt with an anxiety disorder since I was very young, so I understand where he's coming from there. I just really want to help make this the best trip ever for him since I know due to finances and family that this is likely the only time they'll all get to go for many many years. We have to do this a little on the budget side or I'd do the Christmas party and things I know he'd love to death.

I'm really worried (my general state tbh) that it'll be a miserable trip for him. My first time had a damper on it cause of fear making me sick to my stomach all week once we got there and it was a loooong time before I was willing to go back and try again.

 

[Aliceacc]

No, I didn't mean to imply that, my apologies.

My kids were pretty scared as kids. The trick is making sure he knows that you're on his side. If you really want him to have a great trip, it will probably mean sacrificing a lot of the things you want to see and do. It may mean night swimming instead of fireworks, and the splash fountains instead of Space Mountain. But there's plenty for him to do. And the fact that you're asking, 4 months out, means that you care enough to make it special for all 3 kids.

 

[Thing 1]

As far as the wait goes.....the chain is a good idea. Also, keep in contact with the kids about the trip. Send them texts with pictures of things you are going to do. Maybe get them some of the park music.

As far as the little boys fears.....DS went through something a lot like that about age 8 and close to one of our trips. it was tough and he was my kid and I felt a lot more comfortable making choices than had it been not my child. I would have a very frank conversation with his mom or dad now. Does he really feel comfortable going on the trip? Could he really be more concerned over being away from his parents? Do his parent think he will really be fine when he gets there or is there a change he will be very afraid being away from mom and dad? You can have a great trip and do no rides but are you willing to do that? If someone sits out every ride with him, it will mean the 7 year old riding alone on any two seaters like coasters. It that going to work? What worked with my oldest son at that age and even the younger DS at like 5 was to set ground rules. Some rides were family rides and we all went on them with no choice because it was a family trip and we are doing things together. This would be the no scare things like tea cups and dumbo and the train, space ship earth etc. Other things they had a choice on but I strongly encouraged and a few times bribed on things i knew they would be fine on. With the younger I pressed much harder as I knew he would be fine and really enjoy most things. I always reminded them they were safe and that WDW does indeed make things scary on purpose because a lot of people like to be scared. I pushed a bit more each trip till they were pretty much ok with it all. I NEVER forced them to ride anything they were truly scared of. I did mess up a few times....think tears on The Haunted Mansion and fear of elevators after ridding the TOT at 9 oops......but they really were ok and the oldest is a well adjusted adult and the now 10 year is a dare devil! As I said, being my own made that MUCH easier so be sure to talk with his parent to see what they think. Neither of my boys would have been comfortable going to WDW without me and DH at 8 so at least take that in consideration if he is truly a fearful child.

 

[Aliceacc]

Question for you: Do his parents have a single picture of him with Santa or the Easter Bunny?

If not, then I bet he's terrified of the characters, just as my son was at that age. Give serious thought to the character meals you plan, and to the seating at those character meals. If you promise that he can be the one on the inside, with a table between him and then, it will help a LOT. HIs sisters can handle his autograph book.

 

[Illybell]

Luckily my mom isn't big on rides since the girls are determined they're going to ride every single thing there. It's funny cause he's only said he's willing to try one ride of everything he's seen...Everest ...he's watched youtube videos of it and says it looks pretty cool. Should be interesting to see if that actually happens once we get there.

He has been with both the bunny/santa (though not this past year cause he's in the too cool to believe phase). We only have one character dining and that's the princesses at Epcot. He said that's for "dumb girls" so we should be fine. He has also been away with us, and his parents are going to FL as well just to the beach instead in case of an issue and also for an adult vacation.

I'm gonna start working on some chains this week so they can have them soon, that sounds like fun! The middle one is from a different household than the other 2 so I get to make double the chains...and maybe one for me too lol

 

[Petit_Rose]

I made the kids in our families activity books with fun facts about the rides and it had a hidden mickey competition in it, so they had to write every hidden mickey down they saw. Kept them entertained for ages.

 

[Little E]

My youngest has some special needs; he wrestles a lot with anxiety, so I completely understand where you're coming from. We have found the POV (point of view) videos you can find on YouTube to be so incredibly helpful. They exist for nearly any Disney attraction and resort. We look at POVs for each resort we try, before we go, so that he knows what to expect. We also seek POVs for any new ride he is interested in trying before we go. We watch them often, and he can watch sections that he finds interesting or stressful over and over to help conquer his fear. I really helps especially right before we go as a way to get excited and a way to reassure him.

I wish you and all of your traveling companions tons of pixie dust on your trip. Be sure to let us know how it goes!

 

[msmama]

I have a scaredy cat 8 year old!!

Like someone else said, there is plenty to do there without actually riding rides, more than you would actually probably think about!

Also, something that kind of works with my son is to just remind him that nothing is going to hurt him. He may be scared, and if he is, he can cover his eyes and hide in my lap, but he will absolutely always be safe. The absolutely WORST thing that will happen is that he will be scared. He will always be physically okay. For my very logical kid, that works.

Also, it'll be good that you know the parks well. If he's okay on Buzz Lightyear, for instance, you can tell him that Winnie the Pooh and Little Mermaid are similar.

I'm not a fan of the YouTube Videos. The reason why is that my son can remember one small part of a ride (scary part) and in his mind, he decides the whole ride is like that (big example of this is the rickety bride on the safari. It lasted 10 seconds tops, but he managed to convince himself it was more than half the ride). So for us, distraction is key. He can't think too much about the ride we're going to be on. So we play the "I'm thinking of..." game (20 questions only with unlimited questions basically) or Heads Up in line to keep him from thinking about what we're going to do.

My son also is not a big fan of Santa or the Easter Bunny, but he LOVES the Disney characters....all but the princesses. He's not a fan of any of the face characters, really, but he is especially afraid of princesses.

 

[Illybell]

Thank you all so much for the advice! I'm seeing the kids this weekend so I'm gonna start seeing what helps.

Big change that should help a lot is that today the oldest/youngest's parents decided they're coming along instead of doing their own trip since we have the space (2 bedroom suite). His dad hates rides too so they've planned on escaping to ESPN if it gets to be too much for him with all us girls.

At the moment I think I'm more excited than the kids

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a monster. I just wanted to get the idea across. He's my buddy and I totally get being scared like he is. I've dealt with an anxiety disorder since I was very young, so I understand where he's coming from there. I just really want to help make this the best trip ever for him since I know due to finances and family that this is likely the only time they'll all get to go for many many years. We have to do this a little on the budget side or I'd do the Christmas party and things I know he'd love to death.

I'm really worried (my general state tbh) that it'll be a miserable trip for him. My first time had a damper on it cause of fear making me sick to my stomach all week once we got there and it was a loooong time before I was willing to go back and try again.

LOL! I know that you are not a monster. A Monster would haul his terrified little carcass on everything or make hom feel horrible about his fears.

We just returned from a large family trip with a group of diverse personalities. The youngest was 5, and while she is an extrovert, she is not a dare devil, no "thrill" rides for her. So we did not take her on any. WHile her shy quiet 7 YO sister went on TofT, Everest, etc. The little one and one of us would shop, have an ice cream, or head to something else.

For boys, there is a lot to occupy them. In Epcot there is Agent P, and I bet he will like that. It is a scavenger hunt thing, and a lot of fun. Turtle Talk with Crush is funny, living with the land interesting.

I saw a lot of people in the MK paying Sorcerers of the MK, and they were having a lot of fun. Don't discount that Pokemon Go thing is he is interested. I know that this is a Love/Hate game, and I do not play, but I belive it can be a good distraction to draw reluctant kids into places they normally woudl not go.

I think that I might stop talking about the trip. If he is nervous he may just get overwhelmed.

IMO, a budget trip is a good thing with first timers. No pressure to add all the "extras" that may or may not add value to children. I think that that in the beginning it is best not to add on...I learned that the hard way. My DGD was 4 when I took her on an impomptu exta trip. SHe was also a nervous anxious little girl and when I was plannign I forgot that becuase it was just normal behavior to me. I booked a cooking thing at The Grand, and the BBQ at FW. Both were expensive busts. Mickey's BBQ just was a picnic that she could not wait to get out of, and she had more fun playing on the swing set, (she escaped as soon as she saw the characters were dancing and that she would need to dance too if she wanted to meet them). My poor little DGD was not going to mingle with a crowd. And the cooking party? Not even a chance. We got there, she burst into tears. We canceled, headed to 1900 PF and we were able to walk in.

Did I learn my lesson? No. In January I booked the Tea at the Grand, picturing the two of us enjoying a lovely time together. I had a Blue Aurora dress custom made for her, paid a fortune and off we went. She hated it.
I was granted the BAD NANA AWARD!
So.... No more extras for years, and that was the best thing. No pressure on her, nor on us.

Jus to play it by ear, let him explore and have fun!

 

[kwdw]

Since your first day is EPCOT - you'll have the ability to help him experience the parks - without ride pressure. I'd suggest doing the Pixar shorts - as an introduction to an "attraction" - it's a movie theater - not a ride - but it might start to get him over the "I can't see everything/it looks scary" in advance. Same thing with the show in the America pavillon. I also agree with maybe trying something like People Mover that he can SEE or the Speedway - again - he can see the cars and the track before riding. Maybe then something like Dumbo - again - he can see the whole ride. Riverboat. And if things are going well - try Small World or Ariel - this are well-lit tame rides that really shouldn't scare him once he gets over his fear. If he is willing - Nemo, Living with the Land, and IMagination at EPCOT at all good tame starter rides - but don't force it.

I was TOTALLY the timid ride kid - but things that I could completely see - so I understood the experience visually before hand - were good places to start for me. I had to work my way up. Shows, characters, other park activities - I totally loved those. And eventually I worked my why up. I still hate thrill rides and do NOT get on rides I don't know what to expect in advance to this day - but I now ride pretty much everything tame and even coasters that don't go upside down. BUT - you have to get people like this patience and encouragement - but not too much pressure.

 

[VolvoManiac850]

A few ideas from both my personal memories and things I've thought of as an educator who has to prep kids for seemingly whatever...

1. For my first trip, when I was 3, I was told about two weeks in advance that we would be going to "meet Mickey". Previously, the only place I had stayed was at my grandparents' house, about 15 minutes away. I knew what a suitcase was but had never stayed in a motel/hotel. We drove down and stopped at some familiar places like McDonald's. My family was always great at explaining things, plus we had some fun in the car. We brought along my favorite Raffi tape (now I'm showing my age!) and Grandpa had me follow the maps with him in the back seat. The idea of a motel was explained at the first Days Inn we stayed at in Wytheville, VA. At Disney, my uncle was the one who encouraged me to try new things--and had some great ways of doing so.

At the time, Flagler's at Grand Floridian served alligator. I was a little hesitant, but he said that I could be the first kid in my preschool class to have eaten it. I wound up loving it. He also asked me what I thought about driving a car like the adults in the family--which got me on the cars at Magic Kingdom (although I would have gone on them anyway). I knew who the characters were and was told in advance that they don't talk. The worst I did was try to tug on Pluto's tongue!! Meeting Mickey at Mickey's Birthdayland was one of the highlights, along with Dumbo (and yes, I was able to wait 90 minutes for it). The trick is to engage the kids and to talk to them a lot. If it worked for me--I was a tough child--it can work for anyone.


2. If you can track down the old Disney Sing Along Songs videos, they made one for Disney World and one for Disneyland. The Disneyland one is similar enough to Magic Kingdom that it should give your kids a chance to see what goes on. I haven't seen the Disney World one but the Disneyland one has plenty of moments in which you can point out rides, landmarks, areas of the parks, characters, etc. It's a little older (it came out in the very early 90s) but should do the trick. They used to make videos about the park, not sure if they still do. Used video stores are your friend. If you need a VCR, they usually go for about ten bucks at the local thrift store. (Now that they're out of production, I bought an extra there recently!) Someone earlier mentioned Pirates of the Caribbean; it gets its own segment on the "Heigh Ho" Sing Along video. "Small World" is on the "Zip a Dee Doo Dah" one, and the idea of a Christmas parade can be viewed on "Very Merry Christmas Songs" (although a lot has changed since that parade is one from the mid-80s).


3. Don't let your kids see you stressing out about trip planning. Kids know when you are stressed better than you think.


4. The most important thing to do is communicate, communicate, communicate. Don't water things down for the kids, answer their questions fully and honestly when they come up. Explain as much as you can/need to, especially if, say, the kids are afraid of the Haunted Mansion. (The Haunted Mansion actually gets its own song on the Disneyland video, so that may be a good gauge for it).