Strict, over-protective parent here...

[Colleen27]

Would this be Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village?? Just curious as that was where we went for our 5th grade field trip and I so still want to make a special trip up there to take my kids. Or could it have been Mackinac?? My brother's 4rd or 5th grade class went on an overnight there. That was an awesome trip as my mom went too so i got to go.

We did Henry Ford/Greenfield Village when I was in 5th grade, but I was actually thinking about Frankenmuth as an honor society trip in 8th grade and Mackinac as a band trip in 10th in regard to the supervision issue. Elementary school trips were well chaperoned, but the middle/high school trips were the walk around in groups, check in periodically type of thing.

Henry Ford/Greenfield Village is well worth making a trip for! Are you still in the general area? We're on the other side of town now, up towards Port Huron, but we make the drive a couple times a year, usually once during the summer and once for the Christmas events at Greenfield Village.

 

[C.Ann]

No - I would not let her go - nor would I confront the dad..

My kids, my rules - and quite frankly, I wouldn't give a flying fig what anyone thought about it.. To each their own..

 

[JUJU814]

No - I would not let her go - nor would I confront the dad..

My kids, my rules - and quite frankly, I wouldn't give a flying fig what anyone thought about it.. To each their own..

You go girl!!!! If I didn't know better, you sound *exactly* like my mom...right down to "flying fig"

 

[Leajess99]

We did Henry Ford/Greenfield Village when I was in 5th grade, but I was actually thinking about Frankenmuth as an honor society trip in 8th grade and Mackinac as a band trip in 10th in regard to the supervision issue. Elementary school trips were well chaperoned, but the middle/high school trips were the walk around in groups, check in periodically type of thing.

Henry Ford/Greenfield Village is well worth making a trip for! Are you still in the general area? We're on the other side of town now, up towards Port Huron, but we make the drive a couple times a year, usually once during the summer and once for the Christmas events at Greenfield Village.

I live in Kentucky now but the majority of my family still lives in Michigan (Midland and Mt Pleasant areas). I love taking the kids to Frankenmuth and if I can squeeze it in will make one trip there before school starts. It may be hard because we start school here on the 5th. I think there is so much more up there to teach my kids about than there is here. They loved Mackinac a couple of years ago as well.

 

[defendthehill]

I have three daughters of my own....all younger than yours but don't worry about not letting her go to the water park if you feel it is not a good environment for her to be in without you.

However, I will say this as well....it is your job to protect but it is also your job to prepare your daughter to be on her own. A parents first job is protection and their second job is to push them out of the nest. As a high school teacher I see the protection of children all the time. It is much more rare to see a kid pushed from the nest. I am not saying this is the right situation to give your daughter some freedom to experience things without her mother but that day will come.

Don't confront the father....he just looks at it differently. No big deal.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

My girls are 4 and 7 so I have a long way to go until I'm at this stage, although I'm sure it will come quickly enough. I don't consider myself overprotective. But I certainly consider 13 far too young to be going to a water park by herself or with a group of friends.

 

[princessmom29]

While I'm a city person now, I grew up on farmland and my family still has it, including the private roads. We make it a point to take all the kids out to the farm as often as possible to give them driving practice, starting when they are tall enough to reach the pedals and see out -- usually about age 11 or so. Everyone in my family gets a license on the birthday that makes it legally possible; it's a right of passage.

I have extended family overseas that run fishing boats on the North Sea, and we often send the boys to them to work summers as deckhands when they are in their mid teens (girls don't normally do it, but it's not unheard of.) It's not quite "Deadliest Catch" but it's not far off -- mess up and it is very possible to die for the mistake. It gives them a very fine appreciation for the importance of workplace safety and the relative ease of an office job, so it is a very good learning experience.

exactly. In my experience this kind of upbringing where kids are given real responsibilities comiserate with their ability produces children who are by and large responsible and trustworthy teens and adults. My DH and his brothers are some of the most responsible and trustworthy people I know. The same with most of theo ther farm kids I know/grew up with. They were taught form an early age the there are things thatmust get done every day that we do not have a choice about. Cows don't feed/milk themeslves.

 

[StitchFanZ]

Would you be comfortable with you DD taking a real self-defense class? I recently took one with DD14 at our local community college and it was a great experience. They practiced defense techniques, but they also talked a lot about being aware of your circumstances, how to stay out of bad situations, and how to react in different situations. There was one woman taking the class because she had been raped which gave the class some real life reality. We took the class because DD wanted to do some volunteer work and I wanted her to have this awareness and some practice before venturing out. If you are not comfortable with her taking this type of class then it might not be time to let her go alone with friends.

I've been the mom that hangs out at water parks or just shows up with snacks and its often the girls whose parents just drop them off that the guys seem to be attracted to. I've had more then one of my DD's friends come hang out where I was sitting just to get away from someone and I've had the honor of giving some of those guys gutsy enough to get to close to them when they are sitting with me the 'mean parent glare' and to tell them to back off.
My kids friends have learned that I'm more then happy to take them to all sorts of fun places but if I drive them than I'm going to hang out and have fun! After a while, they appreciate having someone to hold onto cell phones, save places, make snacks and eventually adjust to a mom who is going to join in on the roller coaster and who can make those teacup rides go really, really fast..
I've also told them that if they really want to go then they need to pay for the gas and my tickets. You might want to try that if money is an issue. Nothing wrong with making them work a bit so they can go have fun.

 

[Jetaime]

Perceptive from a 14 yo.....

I recently went to a water park/amusement (Dorney Park) with two of my guy friends and one girl friend. One of the guy's mom took us along with one of her friends........

The two of them went of and did what they wanted to while we did what we wanted to. We each had our own locker so that we could change into bathing suits when going to the waterpark area. We stayed from like 10 to 8:30 and about every 3-4 hours we had to give them a phone call. We were all completely fine and had a lot of fun.

<<<I would have been allowed to go to a waterpark without the parent if there had been like 6-8 kids verse as 4.>>>>>

Since I was 13 I was allowed to go to mall, the movies, take hour walks/ complete errands etc.........

So it depends is the water park huge...like Disney (My parents let me go to the parks myself) or smaller.....since you said the girls are all responsible maybe its a good chance for them to learn responsibility......

 

[tartemis]

First, let me say that I probably wouldn't let my DD go there without supervision. I don't know for sure because I'm not familiar with the clientel of the business. I think you have every right to not let your DD go there without supervision. I also think the other child's father had every right to say what he did to his daughter. The child shouldn't have repeated it to your daughter, but kids will be kids.

I do have a problem with the above quoted statement. Just because the friend's parents think it is okay for her to go without an adult does not make them "too busy and too tired to parent." That is very judgemental IMO. Different parents parent in different ways.

I agree with this post. I probably wouldn't let my daughter go at 13 either, but I wouldn't make such a sweeping and harsh judgment on another parent because they reached a different decision on this issue than I did.

 

[darkkskyzz]

DH and I will go places with DD12...look at each other and say something like "younger than her I was walking (fill in the blank) or visiting (fill in the blank) alone...and there is no way I am letting her"

Times were different when we were kids, the world is a sicker, scarier place now.
DD is wicked smart, and has a good head on her shoulders...but she is only 12 and still needs parental supervision.

We allow some freedom (Love it when she doesn't see us watching) to get her used to doing things on her own...but I would never send her off somewhere that she might not come home from.

I am called overbearing, overprotective, suffocating...but if you ask my girl, she will tell you how much she gets to do.
Every house has their own set of rules. Period.

 

[jodifla]

DH and I will go places with DD12...look at each other and say something like "younger than her I was walking (fill in the blank) or visiting (fill in the blank) alone...and there is no way I am letting her"

Times were different when we were kids, the world is a sicker, scarier place now.
DD is wicked smart, and has a good head on her shoulders...but she is only 12 and still needs parental supervision.

We allow some freedom (Love it when she doesn't see us watching) to get her used to doing things on her own...but I would never send her off somewhere that she might not come home from.

I am called overbearing, overprotective, suffocating...but if you ask my girl, she will tell you how much she gets to do.
Every house has their own set of rules. Period.

Actually, they weren't. We only perceive them to be that way. Statistically, this is a very safe time.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Actually, they weren't. We only perceive them to be that way. Statistically, this is a very safe time.

Agreed - we just live in an era of media saturation...

 

[darkkskyzz]

Actually, they weren't. We only perceive them to be that way. Statistically, this is a very safe time.

Good point...we KNOW more now about the dangers that are around us. We have it thrown in our face every time we turn on the TV (not that it isn't newsworthy, b/c it is)

 

[mjkacmom]

Good point...we KNOW more now about the dangers that are around us. We have it thrown in our face every time we turn on the TV (not that it isn't newsworthy, b/c it is)

Can't agree more - thankfully, we are more aware, can give our children more information, we have cellphones - I'm glad my children live in this world, than the world I grew up in, with no means of communication to my parents, unaware of things that could happen.

 

[lcrane]

just to let you know my DD would not have gone unless there was a parent with them, and most of the time that would end up being me. She is now 17 and i still have her check in when she goes somewhere and if she is running late she will call to let me know.

 

[darkkskyzz]

just to let you know my DD would not have gone unless there was a parent with them, and most of the time that would end up being me. She is now 17 and i still have her check in when she goes somewhere and if she is running late she will call to let me know.

Sounds like you raised a responsible girl with a good head on her shoulders

 

[Elmo888]

No - I would not let her go - nor would I confront the dad..

My kids, my rules - and quite frankly, I wouldn't give a flying fig what anyone thought about it.. To each their own..

My thoughts exactly.

That, and I make sure that your DD knows that you don't give a "flying fig" what others think about how your parenting decision. She can repeat opinions on your parenting decisions all day long for the next decade, but it isn't going to influence your decisions.

ETA: I love "flying fig". I was going to say "rat's behind", but I think that I like "flying fig" better. I'm going use that!

 

[allison443]

OP you are making the decision you feel is right for your family-that is really all any of us can do! I have a dd who will turn 13 in a few months. We don't have a water park in our town, but I'm not sure I would let her go without an adult...But I don't think parents who make different decisions are lazy or neglectful.

However, think about it from the other family's perspective. Their dd wants to go to the water park with your dd. Except your dd cannot go unless an adult goes, and you won't go, for whatever reason. Maybe they feel like you want/expect them to go to the park when they don't feel it's necessary, kwim? Maybe they think you are putting this adult supervision requirement, but then you aren't willing to be the supervision? Believe me I have sat through more awful movies than I care to remember, just because I wanted my kid to have supervision.