Sooo Not doing the happy Dance.

[lamb616]

Have we learned nothing from the economic meltdown? How do you ever figure to get out of debt if you keep spending money on wants, not needs?

who said she keeps spending money on wants and not needs? Maybe this is the first "want" she's ever wanted to spend her money on?? I have more debt than I like - probably about $10,000 now, and I can assure you not a single penny of it was spent on "wants". It's all medical bills and food, gas, car and house repairs that we had to charge from when DH lost his job and we had no health insurance. We had no choice but to use credit cards during that time. So just because people have debt, doesn't mean it was all spent frivolously. As soon as DH got a job, I started saving for our trip b/c after those couple of horrible years, I needed that vacation badly. It kept me going (mentally) for the year and a half it took me to save. So we paid for our entire trip in cash, and here we are back to reality with our $10k debt, and I don't regret our trip for ONE second. Matter of fact, I am already saving up for our next one. We will continue to pay down our debt, and I will continue to save for our trip as well. I'm hoping to negotiate with the hospital to lower some of the hospital debt.

It would be a depressing life to me if ALL we ever did was pay for our NEEDS, leaving nothing for WANTS whatsoever!

 

[singjenn]

Awwwww...I feel really bad for you I'm sure it must have taken you a long time to save that much money...especialy nowadays.

I'm sure that while you were saving this you already had credit cards bills so why now is DH saying to put the $$ towards that? Why didn't he tell you NOT to save it?

I understand paying off bills, but I have never counted cars and things like that as "real" debt. Yea, techincally it's is what you owe, but it's not like credit cards which are mostly used for emegergencies and vacations which are things you don't need..unlike cars.

Like some other posters said....your kids will only be kids once and I think you and your DH should try to compromise. I reeeeeeeeeally hope this works out for you and y'all get to go

But even if you don't.....you get major kudos for the ammount you saved!! GOOD FOR YOU!

 

[DisneyMomm]

I can see both sides too. I think it all depends on the ages of the boys. If they are really little (so little that they won't remember the trip) then I would wait a couple of years. If they are already older, I would probably choose to go for it before they are past the age of seeing it through a child's eyes. Disney is magical at any age... but there's something extra magical to a child meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time. If they are around 4 or 5, I would meet your husband half way and put half on the credit card, and save for one more year. It would also depend on the deals. If a deal to good to let go comes by, it could save you a lot. We went to a value resort (which my kids loved, and said they would choose again over a more expensive one), and we got free dining with the paid upgrade to full dining, and our 2 week stay was only $3500 for 4 of us. That included park hopper, and waterparks. If you went for a week and got the free dining,you could probably almost do it with half of what you have saved. In 6 more months you could have more than enough for spending money. I think if you were able to save $4000 in a year, you guys will be fine.... even with a trip to Disney

 

[snykymom]

who said she keeps spending money on wants and not needs? Maybe this is the first "want" she's ever wanted to spend her money on?? I have more debt than I like - probably about $10,000 now, and I can assure you not a single penny of it was spent on "wants". It's all medical bills and food, gas, car and house repairs that we had to charge from when DH lost his job and we had no health insurance. We had no choice but to use credit cards during that time. So just because people have debt, doesn't mean it was all spent frivolously. As soon as DH got a job, I started saving for our trip b/c after those couple of horrible years, I needed that vacation badly. It kept me going (mentally) for the year and a half it took me to save. So we paid for our entire trip in cash, and here we are back to reality with our $10k debt, and I don't regret our trip for ONE second. Matter of fact, I am already saving up for our next one. We will continue to pay down our debt, and I will continue to save for our trip as well. I'm hoping to negotiate with the hospital to lower some of the hospital debt.

It would be a depressing life to me if ALL we ever did was pay for our NEEDS, leaving nothing for WANTS whatsoever!

Sorry, but a Disney trip is not a NEED. Regardless of why you have debt, if you keep spending money you don't currently have because you had a crappy time and "deserve" it, you'll never get out of that debt. If you want to go, then go. But don't try to convince yourself that you're being financially responsible.

 

[lamb616]

Sorry, but a Disney trip is not a NEED. Regardless of why you have debt, if you keep spending money you don't currently have because you had a crappy time and "deserve" it, you'll never get out of that debt. If you want to go, then go. But don't try to convince yourself that you're being financially responsible.

Right, I didn't say the Disney trip was a 'need'. I said maybe OPs situation was like mine where ALL her debt was from NEEDS -- and this trip is the first WANT that she wants to splurge on (as in my case). Although sometimes in life, as PP with the cancer showed, a WANT can almost become a NEED.

 

[poeticdiabetic]

Problem's not the money. It's the communication.

First of all, there should have been an agreement before saving as to what you are saving towards. Then, there wouldn't have been the let-down.

Second, you all should have agreed about priorities and then made a plan. Therefore, WE make the decisions and not one single party.

Now I know the scriptures about submission and all that, but I'm a husband and father and I always seek input and wisdom from my wife before making a decision. That's one of the reasons why I married her: because she's smart and makes good decisions... even if I don't always agree with them. We talk it through and we compromise or one or the other gets convinced.

Now as far as paying down consumer debt vs. vacations are concerned, they are both needed. You want to pay down your debts, but you also need a vacation. Everyone in the house needs a vacation, kids included (kids needs stress relief, too!)

As far as my house is concerned, we run by that principle. We work hard and we pay our debts- but it's because of that working hard and paying debts that we need to go on vacations. We are the typical "Work-Hard, Play-Hard" family. And right now, we are due for some fun-in-the-sun (going to Orlando at the end of next month... WDW in September.)

It's all called "Work-Life Balance." Don't get bummed! Research "Work-Life Balance" and COMMUNICATE!

 

[LilalovesDisney]

I really appreciate all the responses. They are really helping me see my husbands side. I saved this money, without telling my husband. I wanted to surprise him, with this. He understands how much a vacation is needed. But he grew up in a family that had No debt. And is not liking having debt now. Our debt is from a bad economy, and having to pay for expences. Not for Wants... I shop at second hand stores for my clothes and my boys clothes.
Our boys are still young, So We agreed this year, we will take a small vacation, and pay off as much of our debt as possible. And We will start saving again for next year. Fingers crossed this will work.

 

[snykymom]

I'm glad you were able to reach an acceptable compromise with your DH. Enjoy your small vacation, and here's hoping that your Disney vacation dreams can come true soon!

 

[DisneyMomm]

Glad it's working out so you're both happy. And look at the bright side... Fantasy Land additions will be done sometime in 2013, so you'll be able to see that

 

[nooneshome]

Sorry, here's a vote for paying down the credit cards.

 

[Pepperldy]

I really appreciate all the responses. They are really helping me see my husbands side. I saved this money, without telling my husband. I wanted to surprise him, with this. He understands how much a vacation is needed. But he grew up in a family that had No debt. And is not liking having debt now. Our debt is from a bad economy, and having to pay for expences. Not for Wants... I shop at second hand stores for my clothes and my boys clothes.
Our boys are still young, So We agreed this year, we will take a small vacation, and pay off as much of our debt as possible. And We will start saving again for next year. Fingers crossed this will work.

I really think paying off your debt is a better decision for your family than a trip to Disney. Waiting a couple of years until you're debt-free will really make your trip more enjoyable, and you'll get to enjoy the new Fantasyland expansion!

 

[02AggieGirl]

I can understand your disappointment, but I think it would a much wiser use of your money to put it toward paying off your debt!! I definitely think you should wait on the trip! Like the PP said, go after you've paid it down and enjoy the completed FL expansion!

 

[juliebug1997]

I know that there are people out there who think he's God, but I'm glad my husband is way more realistic than Dave Ramsey. There's a gentle balance out there and I'm glad you and your husband have found a compromise. Hopefully, this time next year, you and I will be talking about being at WDW around the same time!!!

Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman are not God people. Get over it.

 

[Kristinluvsdisney]

Well i dont know your whole finiacial situation but i say go to Disney and have some fun!!!! Im with the people that say there is always going to be debt. But im sure its hard when you and your husband are on different sides of the fence. Good luck in what ever you and your family decide.

 

[poeticdiabetic]

I really appreciate all the responses. They are really helping me see my husbands side. I saved this money, without telling my husband. I wanted to surprise him, with this. He understands how much a vacation is needed. But he grew up in a family that had No debt. And is not liking having debt now. Our debt is from a bad economy, and having to pay for expences. Not for Wants... I shop at second hand stores for my clothes and my boys clothes.
Our boys are still young, So We agreed this year, we will take a small vacation, and pay off as much of our debt as possible. And We will start saving again for next year. Fingers crossed this will work.

Great! I'm glad that you all communicated and came up with a compromise.

Oh, and my DW grew up in debt-free house. I mean, no house note. We have a house note and we feel at an economic disadvantage.

But we go on at least two vacations per year. And the reason why is because we all need them.

 

[poeticdiabetic]

This situation reminds me of something that happened similarly to us. Before we had kids, we used to go on vacations. But since we had kids, we really stopped going on vacations. What we would do is visit family, at most.

So when our youngest was 6 and our oldest was 7-going-on-8, we had some money saved up and someone told us about WDW and how you can pay one price and play, stay, eat and everything. Well, prior to; we had some financial difficulties and we were paying debts down. But by the time we were getting ready to go to WDW, the pressure was taking it's tow. I mean, we were arguing about everything and my DW was getting on my nerves! (And I guess I was getting on hers!)

We argued while picking up the rental car. We argued while cleaning up the house. We argued at the Walmart. She threatened constantly about picking up 'her' kids and going to move back with her parents.

So while in the car, literally driving down to WDW, I told her to wait until after we get back from WDW before she leaves me!

And then, I did put my MP3 player in my ear and played music while she continued to argue, ignoring her. Eventually, she fell asleep.

Well, we woke up at Disney! And our kids were having a lot of fun. And that made us have fun. And we felt silly arguing about silly things. I mean, when we came back, we realized that it was pure stress of not having a vacation for all those years that built up into a knot. And we vowed to never allow that to happen again!

We laugh at the pictures even now- we looked pretty bad and haggard.

 

[stitches of laughter]

I'm a 21 year old college student. I have tons of debt, student loans, car payments, etc.

My mom worked part time for 20 years trying to take care of me and pay off debt my dad put her through (took out an AmEx in her name)

but whenever either of us had enough money to make memories, we did. and I never regret ANY of it. and I know she didn't, either.

My mom recently passed away and told me when to save and when to spend. I adore the pictures we took on our last disney trip. I paid for the majority of that trip and don't regret one cent spent.

I hope you enjoy your trip and make tons of memories

 

[robinb]

I feel for you, but I agree with your husband. $12K debt is a lot and $4K will go a long way to help pay it off. If you were only a couple thousand in debt I would go with the "Spend and enjoy!" crowd, but not when you have so much debt.

The good news is that if you could save the $4K without your husband even knowing you should be able to knock off the remaining $8K fairly quickly! Sit down with him and work out a goal together. In the meantime, you can hang out here with us . There are plenty of people here planning for 2012 and 2013 trips.

 

[lamb616]

well OP, I hope you don't have to wait until ALL the debt is paid off before you go, b/c that could be a long time. If you put that $4k towards your debt now, and then start saving for your trip while continuing to pay down the debt for the next year, I think that will be good enough. Don't wait too long.

 

[loveysbydesign]

If we all waited until our debt was gone, some of us would NEVER get to go! Kids don't stay young for very long; however, the debt will stay with you for the rest of your life. Life is too short - make having a magical vacation as much of a priority as paying down the debt. If he cannot be convinced to use this money towards the trip, then I say tell him you'll compromise - put half of it towards the credit card debt right now and keep the other half for the trip and then continue to save for your trip/pay down the credit card. If you save at the same rate, that will just postpone your trip by a year. That's not so bad.

I agree with this! We had a hard time paying our bills and we were sad that we were never taking our kids anywhere due to debt(not spent on luxuries but on oil for our home, maintaining our 150 y.o. home and food for our kids many years ago when we had no money) and then we decided to have more taxes taken out so we get a larger tax return. Then we use half the tax return for bills and half for our vacations.
The times we've spent together as a family on vacations are priceless. If I were to die tomorrow I would be thrilled that I had gotten to spend so much time with my family!