Social security approval

[tacomaranch]

Hi Friends,

Well, I just got the call from Social Security and I have been approved for benefits. I should be thrilled and yet I am sad because it is the honest truth in my face. I can't remember things anymore, I can't do math, I can't stack memory items, photos, etc.

I was driving to work on Dec. 8, 2005. It was -35 below and we were all going for our daily ride to Jackson Hole for work. I had put on a full length mink coat and said to my DH that the seat belt is so bad for the fur. He replied "blood is even worse". How funny that just 5 miles down the road I hit a full grown bull moose at 65 miles per hour. It's head decapitated and came thru the windshield and took me out.

I had applied because I could not do accounting work and haven't worked in over a year now.
I thought in retrospect that God was preparing me for having a child with Autism. I feel that I am able to better understand Hunter's frustration.

They also said they don't feel I can handle my own money so they are paying it to my DH. We have always kept separate finances so this is a big leap of faith for me. I pray he will give me my money.

So friends, I am happy to final have an income but also sad that the truth is, my brain is shot!

 

[shoegirl1020]

Glad to hear that you made out better than the moose . Also happy to hear that SS approved you on your first try. Many times they deny, deny and deny before they finally get approved.

I'm sure that dh will give you your money. What about opening a joint checking account so that SS can direct deposit right into that account?

 

[tacomaranch]

Thanks for the support. I have been crying all day because although I really need the money it puts the facts right in my face...like the moose. I am not going to be ok. Each day I wake up and say I am going to do better. Sometimes it works, mostly not. DH seems to ask if I remembered to do___ or call____ which I never do. I don't know why he even asks me to do things that are a hard to remember. From the testing for the SS I found out that I can't stack memory items, not even instructions! I felt so bad for a week afterwards and now I do again.

Why do I feel so bad about getting money?

We are going to the bank in about an hour to open a checking account that he opens with his name but for me. I knew I couldn't do banking and had asked to have the bank girl but SS says it had to be a family member. I must act on faith and pray he does what is right. Already he is telling me how much he paid for fuel, heating, etc for the past year. I guess I will pay him off first.

Sorry to ramble, I just feel bad.

 

[tacomaranch]

What happens when you hit a bull moose. Look and you can almost see the head facing to the left.

 

[Haley Whippet]

WOW, That is some scary picture..
It must have been terrifying.

I am also on SSD with my DH in charge of my money.
My mind isn't 100% anymore. DH never try's to keep my money, It just covers my medical expenses & a few things extra anyway.
Good Luck.
Deb

 

[tacomaranch]

Thanks Deb,

Brain injuries are so weird! I had to learn to talk, walk, type, social skills, everything all over again. I still am terrible on the phone as I don't know when it is my turn to talk and people think I am rude. I have also had to learn to speak in a soft voice.

I test my days by my typing. On a bad day it comes out really bad, today, things are ok. I also forget stuff so quickly.

I sure do hope you could give me insight as to what I can expect in the years to come.

Please PM me.

April

 

[SueM in MN]

That picture IS scary. You are very lucky.

 

[Goofyluver]

this is a good thing! Just a quick question, after your TBI, did you try speech therapy? I read your postings and think that this would help you greatly, give you strategies to help youself along. I am a speech therapist and I would recommend you giving it a shot if you haven't. If you are getting SSI, then speech would generally be covered under the insurance (Medicare) etc.

 

[tacomaranch]

Hi Jennifer,

I was ordered for speech but because of the rural area, there are none around me. I just read books out loud to my horses until they were sick of it. I learned to type, speak, read, walk, almost everything but memory and math.

I laugh because I forget to turn the stove off, or leave the burgers on the grill until they are charcoal. My family is very supportive and someone makes a list everyday for me to follow. Most of the time it is just the same thing over and over. I like it that way.

Cheers, April

 

[flsunshine66]

I understand some of what your saying... I too had a head injury , but mine was a closed head injury, I lost short term memory and some eyesight, and have terrible hadaches that I live with daily.
I got on SSD right away, and also had to have a payee, thankfully my dd was of age and she was very good to me, she and I opened a bank account in both our names, and I got a check card for purchases which covered things like copays, and extras.
Never once was it an issue for me, she told me when I was close to going over my limit and made sure it was covered if I did, and recoup it next check.

My DH still to this day doesn't understand why I didn't choose him, but I do.
He would be too controlling. I couldn't be happy that way. I get to keep some of my freedom and selfworth this way.

LISTS, lists, lists.... I've learned to write everything down that is important, I take a date book with me to every Doctor visit... therapy session, etc.
If I don't have my daily list... I'm lost for the day.

As the years have gone by, my adjustments to this life have been easier.
I no longer worry as much about simple things like I used to... I enjoy life now like there's no tomorrow. What freedom

I hope you can tell your DH to put you on the bank account and allow you some well deserved freedom too.

I'll be praying for you...and you be thankful your still here to enjoy it. Those pictures are really scary.

 

[DAniece]

April,

My Dear Aunt had a right brain stroke on Dec 1, 2006. She has quite a bit of cognitive disability -- not always apparent to anyone who isn't with her a lot. Her speech therapist has her doing online cognitive therapy... there are modules for attention, executive function, reasoning, logic, and memory (there may be more, those are the modules she has to work on). The online neuropsych group is "The NeuroScience Center" in Indianapolis, Indiana (website http://www.neuroscience.cnter.com/), perhaps your husband can help you arrange to do work through them? I'd strongly encourage you and your family to contact them. There is a monthly fee (I think about $25) and you should do a certain number of hours per day as part of the rehab plan. We've seen improvement in her cognitive abilities already.

Best Wishes and Pixie Dust,
I'm sending up a prayer that you can regain more of "yourself",
EG

 

[shovan]

What a horrible picture of your car! I hope you continue to improve & things will work out for you.

Hugs & prayers to you.

 

[tacomaranch]

Danince,

I will make sure we check it out. I would like more cognitive skills with memory. My expressive and receptive language are up to par but the memory is really an issue.

I am happy I hurt my knee snowboarding so I don't notice the head so much.

flsunshine66, I am happy to know I am not the only one with these problems. It is too easy to isolate and think it is only me. Thanks for the words of support and letting me know your stories also.

April

 

[DAniece]

Here are a couple of websites that provide some more information about the NeuroScience Center & they talk about brain injury in what I thought were very insightful ways...

http://www.jofcr.com/tour/jtourindex.php

http://www.neuropsychonline.com/loni/jcrarchives/vol03/v3i6(graham).pdf

The second link is an article that I read this morning. It showed me things that I hadn't been able to appreciate before about brain rehab.

Take care,
Best wishes!
EG