Smoking co worker

[cabanafrau]

I had difficulty with your original post right off the bat for several reasons. Number one, it appears you are posting with an alternative "anonymous" name -- maybe I'm wrong & that's just your user name, but seems weird. Then you mention wanting to address it with your boss, but your boss disregards anything from you as frivolous and the working conditions are poor. You also claim to start wheezing within 30 second. You finish by saying you hate to complain.

Now you say your husband smokes in the same set up as this coworker, but not only doesn't it bother you, but you don't even smell it?

I'd suggest that perhaps you're more of a complainer than you think and your boss is tired of hearing it & has you on ignore. I hate the smell of smoke with the passion of a thousand suns & I'm calling shenanigans on your story.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I had difficulty with your original post right off the bat for several reasons. Number one, it appears you are posting with an alternative "anonymous" name -- maybe I'm wrong & that's just your user name, but seems weird. Then you mention wanting to address it with your boss, but your boss disregards anything from you as frivolous and the working conditions are poor. You also claim to start wheezing within 30 second. You finish by saying you hate to complain.

Now you say your husband smokes in the same set up as this coworker, but not only doesn't it bother you, but you don't even smell it?

I'd suggest that perhaps you're more of a complainer than you think and your boss is tired of hearing it & has you on ignore. I hate the smell of smoke with the passion of a thousand suns & I'm calling shenanigans on your story.

BINGO ! I think your post hit the nail right on the head and probably the OP wanted to start a good evil smoker vs the world thread We haven't had one of those in a while

I tried to be kind then the whole thing went into my BS file IF it is true and I was the smoker that worked with the OP there is no way in hell I'm paying for anything for her office and we would have bigger problems if someone complained to a boss or HR about me without being an adult and discussing it with me first

Still would like to hear how living with a smoker is fine but not casual contact with co-worker

 

[m3retired]

Still would like to hear how living with a smoker is fine but not casual contact with co-worker

Because her husband blows off her complaints.
(with apparently no medical issues resulting).

The co-worker is only there for 30 minutes a day. Deal with it.
When did people start thinking everything in their world had to be PERFECT, and everyone else had to make it so?

 

[tina.tina]

Since OP's DH smokes, maybe she can tolerate it to a certain point but the co-worker is way past that point?

I can think of a reason one person may smell more like smoke than another. If a person works outside and sweats, he doesn't smell as bad as someone who works up a sweat, doesn't bathe, and then works up a sweat again. A person who smokes and doesn't bathe as often smells worse than someone who bathes regularly.

It's not like I get really close to BIL (like I'm assuming OP does to her DH), but I didn't know he was smoking again until my sister told me. I didn't smell smoke on him. My sister (and her kids, too) does not "allow" him to smoke in their house or in her car. He smokes in his car, though.

I would think it would be the other way - she spends more time with her husband and gets closer to him than to the co-worker. I'm actually starting to suspect she doesn't like this co-worker and thus, the smoking bothers her. I saw that many years ago. Back in the dark ages, people could smoke at their desks. I worked with a few smokers - one guy everyone loved and a few others that no-one liked. People never complained about smoker A, but the others were complained about all the time. Mind over matter I guess.

Again-if the co-worker isn't breaking any rules or laws do not involve the boss. Discuss it one-on-one with her. And I don't think it's fair to ask her to pay for any air cleaning products - it's your issue. If the situation is that bad, ask her to step out of your office. And have you ever told her that you've made copies of her paperwork? That wouldn't thrill me if you did that.

I didn't mean the co-worker was past a certain point as far as distance, I meant perhaps the smelly factor was past a certain point.

When I worked in HR, we actually received a job application that had such a strong (stinky) odor to it, we had to copy it and seal the original in a plastic baggie.

 

[EMode]

Yes, yes you could. And why wouldn't you? The lady you describe as being "very sweet" likely has no idea and would probably prefer NOT to be accidentally harming you. Geesh, just say something to her! If the tables were turned would YOU prefer to hear it from the boss?

When she asks the lady to not smoke before coming to see her because she's highly allergic she should be sure to mention that her dh smokes too. I'm sure that would go over really well.

Sorry OP, I don't think you have a leg to stand on if you go to your boss or talk directly to this woman. If you can stand living the rest of your life with a smoker than surely you can stand seeing this smoking co-worker 30 minutes a day.

 

[islandmum]

there is no cigarette allergy in all reality, what there is is a "sensitivity" -

Cigarette smoke allergy: Cigarette smoke allergy refers to an adverse reaction by the body to cigarette smoke. Cigarette smoke allergy is not considered a true allergy but a sensitivity as the smoke is an irritant rather than an allergen.

and I find it VERY strange that this persons cigarette smell irritates but the DH's doesnt

but, if it does, a quiet word with the lady, maybe to use some hand sanitiser and a deodorizing spray after a cigarette could be suggested.

 

[delyrium]

It is absolutely true that some types of cigarettes linger differently on the smoker than other types. My brother smokes a brand that smells horrific, and triggers migraines for me. Maybe Newports? And then I have a friend that smokes Marlboro menthols, and it doesn't bother me nearly so much.

 

[MSLRAC]

and I find it VERY strange that this persons cigarette smell irritates but the DH's doesnt

DH smokes and there are some brands (usually the cheaper ones) that reek and linger on a person while others don't. The woman could be smoking one of the stinky brands while the OP's DH doesn't.

 

[SirDuff]

DH smokes and there are some brands (usually the cheaper ones) that reek and linger on a person while others don't. The woman could be smoking one of the stinky brands while the OP's DH doesn't.

But if one is "highly allergic" to cigarette smoke, then the brand shouldn't matter.

Again, I suggest that the OP simply tell the smoker that the lingering odour bothers her (though I wouldn't suggest lying about having an allergy) and work out something that works (i.e. not smoking just before meeting or meeting in a larger room).

 

[aaarcher86]

No, they do not have the right to expose me to second or third hand smoke. Can I give them my dry cleaning bills too? Smoke if you want, but don't expose me to it.

They're not breaking any rules. There's no law protecting you from third hand smoke that I'm aware of. It's no different legally then someone's perfume that makes me gag and there's nothing I could do about that either.

If no policies a re being broken then the OP has limited options. If you want to spearhead a campaign you should look into making cigarettes illegal I guess, since you apparently think you should be able to dictate where someone can/can't go after they smoke in a perfectly legal way. That would be the only way to prevent you from coming I to contact with any kind of smoke.

I imagine you walking through the smoking area behind the castle and complaining because it 'shouldn't be there in the first place.'

 

[MSLRAC]

But if one is "highly allergic" to cigarette smoke, then the brand shouldn't matter.

Again, I suggest that the OP simply tell the smoker that the lingering odour bothers her (though I wouldn't suggest lying about having an allergy) and work out something that works (i.e. not smoking just before meeting or meeting in a larger room).

Brand could easily be the issue here. Not all cigarettes are the same. They can have different additives and one of those additives could be what is bothering the OP.

 

[SirDuff]

Brand could easily be the issue here. Not all cigarettes are the same. They can have different additives and one of those additives could be what is bothering the OP.

Absolutely! But, in that case, the OP is not allergic to cigarette smoke (which is what she said she'll get a doctor's note to say).

Totally possible to be bothered differently by different cigarette brands - same way not all perfumes/colognes bother me even if worn at the same "strength". Not possible to be allergic to cigarette smoke and not bothered by all brands. Possible though to be allergic to different additives (not sure how different additives are).

 

[MSLRAC]

Absolutely! But, in that case, the OP is not allergic to cigarette smoke (which is what she said she'll get a doctor's note to say).

Totally possible to be bothered differently by different cigarette brands - same way not all perfumes/colognes bother me even if worn at the same "strength". Not possible to be allergic to cigarette smoke and not bothered by all brands. Possible though to be allergic to different additives (not sure how different additives are).

True, I'm just saying it is possible for the OP to have allergy issues with the coworker and not her DH. But even with a doctor's note, I'm not sure what the OP wants her office to do other than go smoke free and that really wouldn't work in this case since the coworker doesn't really work in the office.

 

[SirDuff]

True, I'm just saying it is possible for the OP to have allergy issues with the coworker and not her DH. But even with a doctor's note, I'm not sure what the OP wants her office to do other than go smoke free and that really wouldn't work in this case since the coworker doesn't really work in the office.

I'm not even sure making the workplace go smoke free would help (even if the co-worker worked at the office). I cannot imagine that a workplace could make a rule insisting on no smoking ever - the most they could do is no smoking on office property. People could still smoke on their way to office (or simply walk just off property and smoke), which would still be a problem for the OP.

 

[rlduvall]

When did people start thinking everything in their world had to be PERFECT, and everyone else had to make it so?

This is the best response from this entire thread. It doesn't appear to be a legitimate health issue for the OP. Since when does our personal universe rule everyone else's personal universe? Since when do we have the right to never be offended? I don't smoke, never have smoked and hate the smell of smoke, too, but I would never accost someone and force my values on them.

 

[maxiesmom]

They're not breaking any rules. There's no law protecting you from third hand smoke that I'm aware of. It's no different legally then someone's perfume that makes me gag and there's nothing I could do about that either.

If no policies a re being broken then the OP has limited options. If you want to spearhead a campaign you should look into making cigarettes illegal I guess, since you apparently think you should be able to dictate where someone can/can't go after they smoke in a perfectly legal way. That would be the only way to prevent you from coming I to contact with any kind of smoke.

I imagine you walking through the smoking area behind the castle and complaining because it 'shouldn't be there in the first place.'

I totally agree with everything you posted.

To me, this falls under Suck It Up Buttercup! She is not smoking in your office, you hardly ever see this person. You can't make her not smoke, the only thing you can control is how you deal with the lingering smell. You have to deal with it, she has to change nothing.

I have no clue what good your think a doctor's note will do. Your doctor can't control what someone else does. Maybe if it is so bad you can buy a mask and wear it when she is in the office.

 

[aaarcher86]

I totally agree with everything you posted. To me, this falls under Suck It Up Buttercup! She is not smoking in your office, you hardly ever see this person. You can't make her not smoke, the only thing you can control is how you deal with the lingering smell. You have to deal with it, she has to change nothing. I have no clue what good your think a doctor's note will do. Your doctor can't control what someone else does. Maybe if it is so bad you can buy a mask and wear it when she is in the office.

It's been pointed out a bunch on threads about animals in flight cabins that allergies pretty much mean nothing. The doctors may say OP has allergies on paper, but I bet it screams 'I'm a hypochondriac' even more!

 

[RCBA]

I don't have advice but to want to chime in about certain smoke bothering the OP over others.

Most cigarette smoke is stinky/gross to me but doesn't cause any adverse reactions however there is certain smoke that will cause an immediate severe reaction. It overcomes me and I cough, choke, my throat is irritated, it's hard to breath or talk and my eyes water and I can't control any of it. It's an awful feeling and quite embarrassing in certain social situations. I've had this reaction when near someone smoking and from residual smoke. I honestly thought I might die waking from the parking area at the Gaylord Texan to the hotel lobby after passing by a smoking area due to the horrible reaction I had.

Best of luck to you OP, I understand.

 

[Luv2Run]

I totally agree with everything you posted.

To me, this falls under Suck It Up Buttercup! She is not smoking in your office, you hardly ever see this person. You can't make her not smoke, the only thing you can control is how you deal with the lingering smell. You have to deal with it, she has to change nothing.

I have no clue what good your think a doctor's note will do. Your doctor can't control what someone else does. Maybe if it is so bad you can buy a mask and wear it when she is in the office.

I'll second the bolded. All a doctor's note is good for is his patient and his patient alone. A doctor's note does not apply to anyone but the patient that it is written for, so having a doctor's note that says you're allergic to cigarette smoke is pretty much a waste of paper in this situation.

It sounds to me like OP is pretty non-confrontational, to which I will say: get over it and address your CW directly. If you don't, nothing will change, and you will still suffer while your CW has no idea that you're bothered. If your health is truly being affected, then you should be willing to put aside your tendency to shy away from confrontation and put your health first and your shyness second.

 

[gunner2010]

This is the best response from this entire thread. It doesn't appear to be a legitimate health issue for the OP. Since when does our personal universe rule everyone else's personal universe? Since when do we have the right to never be offended? I don't smoke, never have smoked and hate the smell of smoke, too, but I would never accost someone and force my values on them.

Great response.. Could not agree with you more..