SIL watched the kids again....(long post)

[DizzieDizney]

Okay, for some of you who remember...I posted a thread last week about SIL watching the kids for me on Sunday b/c dh is out of town and I have to work on Sunday's. Well last Sunday when she watched the kids I came home to find that she had washed the dog blanket w/ my blankets. She was trying to be helpful. Anyways, today when I come home I find that she has taken a pair of my "good work socks" and butchered them!!!! My son has a school project to make a 3-D penguin. I left some play-do and asked my SIL to help him w/ the penguin. Anyways, she has a better idea. She takes one of my plastic containers....cuts up my socks and wraps my socks around the container for the penguin....What is worse....GET THIS....she takes my 2 ds's Guest Of Honor badges from Disney...rips the pins on the back off....glues the other pieces of socks around the disney badges and glues that onto the penguin body! ughhh!!! I understand she was trying to be helpful but she knows how much I love disney...and all the souvinirs I keep on a bookshelf designated only for disney stuff... Why would she take them...We got those badges the very first time we went to disney! I understand we can get more but those meant something b/c they were from our very first trip. Not to mention she just helped herself to my socks! Those socks were not cheap by the way. I do have to work to buy nice things. I don't get it? Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Should I just be thankful she was available to watch the kids for me. In a way I feel so stupid for feeling like this. She's a great person but sometimes I feel like she has no consideration for my things! okay, I'm done venting.....again....

 

[CEDmom]

I remember the dog blanket post. It's hard when someone means well but their actions don't come across as such. Maybe you could thank her for going above and beyond but that it's not really necessary. Also perhaps tell her that you'll put out the things your kids are allowed to use for school work or crafts and that anything else is off limits even if your kids beg her to let them use it. Good luck.

 

[FreshTressa]

I wouldn't be too bothered by the socks. Some people just don't value things the same way you do and she thought she was doing you a favor. She probably doesn't have such a thing as expensive socks.

The buttons however, would be a little more annoying. Those are obviously set aside to be saved.

I don't know what you could say though without offending her. I am sorry she just doesn't get it!

 

[DizzieDizney]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
I wouldn't be too bothered by the socks. Some people just don't value things the same way you do and she thought she was doing you a favor. She probably doesn't have such a thing as expensive socks.

The buttons however, would be a little more annoying. Those are obviously set aside to be saved.

I don't know what you could say though without offending her. I am sorry she just doesn't get it!

oh i forgot to add about the socks....there were other socks to choose from...she went through dh's black socks...her reason for not using any of his...."they were faded" ... and another thing....she had a pair of black socks with her that she wasn't wearing....when I asked her why she didn't use her own socks...her reply..."no way i need those socks"...well I needed my socks too lol..isn't this silly me so worked up about socks!!!! I think I'm just more annoyed w/ the fact that she just helped herself w/out asking me first....

 

[skiwee1]

So how much are these socks anyway? They can't be that much for goodness sakes. I would thank her for watching the kids while you worked and express my appreciation for helping them out with school projects. I think you are being silly.

 

[poohbears5]

lol send her over here she can watch my five and use my socks or whatever her little heart desires for school projects !!lol

 

[Antonia]

Well, it really depends on how much were the socks? Without knowing the cost of the socks it is hard to know whether you are justified in your feelings.

 

[ez]

are not paying your sister in law, and she is watching your kids as a favor. If this is the case, I feel you should not say anything to her. If you don't like what she is doing, hire a babysitter that you can give specific instructions to. Its like, you feel comfortable to ask her to watch your kids all day, and she feels comfortable to make herself at home while at your house. I don't think you can have it both ways.

 

[DizzieDizney]

The socks were about $10....now keep in mind there were other socks to choose from....she could of had any pair of dh's socks...he gets like 10 pairs for $5 fruit of the loom .... the socks that she used were my dressy trouser socks....I do have other socks that are cheaper...and I know I'm being silly about it....the socks can be replaced....but why didn't she ask first....I did leave her the necessary supplies to complete the project....the project wasn't a last minute thing....

 

[DizzieDizney]

as a matter of fact she did get paid the second time around.....the first time she watched the kids no I didn't pay her....I took her shopping the day before to buy whatever food or things she needed and when I came home I bought her dinner......then I helped her move into her new apartment...using my veh to carry her furniture back and forth....I stayed w/ her in her new apartment helping her place and put furniture together well after mine and the kids bedtime......today I gave her $20 plus bought her food, left her the keys to my other veh in case she got bored and wanted to go somewhere...(she took the kids to the store today)....and when I got home bought her dinner......me and sil are very close..I do things for her....she does things for me.....but the point is...i wouldnt take her things and help myself to them....I wouldn't do that to dh's stuff.....so if it's silly to be a bit frustrated because she ruined my stuff....then i'll be silly...that's just the kind of person I am I guess..... and no I don't feel comfortable asking her to watch the kids anymore..i don't think I will let her watch the kids after these past 2 times...my other choice....don't go to work.... I mean if asking a favor means risking losing some of my stuff....then I'd rather not

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My MIL once rearranged $100.00 worth of artificial floral arrangements while babysitting at my home. I was mad but I didn't say anything because she is a great babysitter when I am in a bind and she does it for free. Secondly, she is family and I didn't want to cause hard feelings. I feel your pain.

Lori

 

[vickyBaby]

She could have sat on her butt and watched the TV and ignored your children. Instead, she really tried to help out.

If she is available, please send her to the Gingerbread Castle. I pay well, and she can rip up my good socks all she wants.

 

[skiwee1]

Dizziedisney we are talking about a measly $10 for a pair of socks! Just wait until thekids get older and you are putting out $100 for supplies for a required science project! LOL! You should be happy that she took the initiative to do anything with your kids instead of sitting in front of the tv. The more I read the more you sound like a very unappreciative person. Send her over here and she can cut up any socks she pleases! I have a whole drawer of $10 socks!

 

[battricia]

Originally posted by DizzieDizney
but the point is...i wouldnt take her things and help myself to them....

If I remember correctly she took her things to help your SON, not herself... I think you're completely over reacting, and if I was her, I'd say no to helping out anymore, because apparently she can't do much right in your eyes..

 

[nealymouse]

If I were you I would forget the socks. I do get the feeling you are ALOT like me because the sock thing would really bother me alot.

I am very very picky. Ok I am almost anal about my things. We have a friend staying here at our home while we are in Disney (we leave in 2 days) I have already hidden some expensive antiques, not because I think she will steal them but because one is a very old rocking horse, My children have grown up knowing its not a toy but I am worried my friend will have her family over and their kids will play on it. I know I would FREAK if that happend.

Next time SIL babysits or better yet just drop hints about how picky you are about certian things. She may get the hint.

 

[FreshTressa]

Originally posted by DizzieDizney
and no I don't feel comfortable asking her to watch the kids anymore..i don't think I will let her watch the kids after these past 2 times...my other choice....don't go to work.... I mean if asking a favor means risking losing some of my stuff....then I'd rather not

I guess you learned your lesson!! She has shown that she takes initiative to mess with your stuff and your stuff is obviously very important to you and you don't want her messing with it. She probably picked those socks cuz they were the blackest, not to personally sabotage you.

Since you now know she messes with stuff, you shouldn't have her babysit unless you are willing to have your stuff messed with.

I personally think it was a bit odd, but not totally out of line. I too would be annoyed but I wouldn't risk my relationship by mentioning it to her. I think I would be more bothered by someone being in my dresser/lingerie drawers (where I keep my socks) than by them ruining them.

Also, I wouldn't want to risk my job by not going over a few blankets and about $20 worth of trinkets. I also think I would be happy that my kids enjoyed her company and were safe with her.

 

[DizzieDizney]

Originally posted by skiwee1
Dizziedisney we are talking about a measly $10 for a pair of socks! Just wait until thekids get older and you are putting out $100 for supplies for a required science project! LOL! You should be happy that she took the initiative to do anything with your kids instead of sitting in front of the tv. The more I read the more you sound like a very unappreciative person. Send her over here and she can cut up any socks she pleases! I have a whole drawer of $10 socks!

Well then I'm am unappreciative then......because I never expected anything from her....She could of sat on her butt all day...I wouldn't of cared...all she was there for was to make sure the kids were fed and out of harms way....she could of gave them the play-dough and let them have at it....I don't care....the point is she went through my things and took as she pleased.....I mean are we forgetting the disney pins she ruined?!?!?!! Your right ...they are a pair of friggin socks..who cares....like I said they can be replaced..... if someone took a pair of your favorite whatever's ....wouldn't it bother you? And excuse me...w/ your drawer of $10 socks... But I have more important things to spend my money on then $10 pair of socks....so when someone ruins a pair of my $10 socks I'm going to be a bit upset about it! I guess some people are not as fortunate as you are...don't have to brag about it....thanks for making me feel like crap....since you failed to realize....I didn't take anything out on my SIL...I still thanked her...I still bought her dinner...although it really bothered me I didn't say anything to her about it...I shoved it off because I knew I could come here and post about it and get slammed by someone else! I'm not trying to say I went off on her...I'm not saying I started an argument w/ her....I realize she didn't have to watch the kids period....which if I have to remind you again.....I thanked her and took her home...so that is how my day went today...and tomorrow is another day....Thank Goodness the kids will be in daycare!

 

[Serena]

Dizzie, I understand what you're trying to say. I have a sil or ex sil like that, and yes I would be angry with her.

 

[FreshTressa]

Originally posted by DizzieDizney
. I don't get it? Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Should I just be thankful she was available to watch the kids for me. In a way I feel so stupid for feeling like this. She's a great person but sometimes I feel like she has no consideration for my things! okay, I'm done venting.....again....

 

[FreshTressa]

Originally posted by DizzieDizney
. I don't get it? Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Should I just be thankful she was available to watch the kids for me. In a way I feel so stupid for feeling like this. She's a great person but sometimes I feel like she has no consideration for my things! okay, I'm done venting.....again....

I don't think anyone was trying to make you feel like crap. I am sorry you feel so bad about this. Families can be really difficult. (especially mine ).

I think you just asked what people thought and I guess some people did think you 'should just be thankful she was available'. When you ask peoples opinion, you are likely to get it!

I don't want you to feel bad!! We all have different values and I hope things work out better with you and her in the future!