Seriously I think DH is out of his mind!!***UPDATE...Post 245***

[ilovejack02]

OMG I can not believe I am going to type this but please take it in the spirit of kindness not a flame because this is the way I mean it.

Maybe just maybe your DH wants you to dress and do up a little for him and this is his way of suggesting this.

I was a SAHM for a few years and my DH went to Victorias Secret and bought me several nightgowns and PJs. Not sexy nighties but ones that are still sexy but I could wear around the house in front of the kids. I wondered what he was up to and he finally told me he was tired of me wearing sweats all the time. Then I remembered something a old co-worker told me. She told me when she is at home during the summer she takes the hour before her husband comes home to take her shower, apply make up and dress up a bit. She made the comment about how her DH sees women at work all dressed up with their makeup on and she figures he deserves to see his wife looking decent. It makes sense to me.

I do the same thing.. I figure If I dont make an effort.. his mistress will .. ; )

 

[wdw_dine_junkie]

PMP!!

Actually, it's one of the safer cosmetics: http://www.cosmeticdatabase.com/

Anyone who uses Revlon - don't look!

That's great to hear! I knew the MIL was being a little extreme, this is nothing new. For the record, I'm still wearing my Bare makeup, this budget girl was not going to throw away perfectly good makeup for any reason

 

[threeboysmom]

I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that I am in no way going to "reject" this gift. He will think (hopefully) that it is the best gift since I dont know what. I love my DH I love that he is really trying. I just wish he would have listen to my "budget" and something that would have been more pratical especially for $160.

I have never posted a thread w/ this many response...thanks for all the input and entertainment for the last couple of days.

Kudos to you for having a great attitude despite the gift not being something you would pick out for yourself. But you do recognize that it's a gift of love and that it sounds like he's really trying (since he said he has a "reason"). Obviously, he knows you and is prepared I'm still amazed at the number of women that return their husband's gifts... not just here, but in real life. It's something that has always struck me as disrepectful.

Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day! Let us know how it turns out!

 

[mrsg00fy]

OP, I may be in the minority here but if DH bought me a gift that was out of our budget and not what I wanted....I would not be appreciative. I guess our attitude is different...married almost 20 years. Long ago, I got sick and tired of OUR money being spent on things that neither of us either needed or wanted. We stopped buying gifts...especially for frivolous holidays long ago. Instead, we take an extra vacation a year with the money that would have been spent on "gifts".

I just don't get how using "our" money to buy something for the other is a gift. Luckily, his feeling is the same.

If hubby bought me $160 of make up....I would be rather upset at the waste. Same thing for cards and ridiculously overpriced flowers (which I don't like).

I understand.

 

[ryanshana]

OMG I can not believe I am going to type this but please take it in the spirit of kindness not a flame because this is the way I mean it.
She told me when she is at home during the summer she takes the hour before her husband comes home to take her shower, apply make up and dress up a bit. She made the comment about how her DH sees women at work all dressed up with their makeup on and she figures he deserves to see his wife looking decent. It makes sense to me.

I do the same thing.. I figure If I dont make an effort.. his mistress will .. ; )

No offence but if DH has an affair and one of the reason is cause I don't wear make up, or get dolled up before he comes home from work cause I am cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of DS 1 & 2 She can freaking have him!

And Jsme I am not saying that to "flame" you I just feel strongly about if he truly loves me then he will love me for who I am not what I look like.

 

[Inigo]

I can top the bad gifts. One year, we were walking through Target and I saw a Tigger toy. You press the town down, and it would do the Tigger song and dance. I pressed the head down, listened to the song, and walked on. He bought it for me. Yep, that was my christmas present. He thought, since I pressed it's head down, that it would be the perfect gift. I donated it to Goodwill.

Heck, this past year he didn't even wish me a happy birthday. He says he thought about it, but didn't.

 

[c&m]

I think it's so nice that your husband bought you a gift like that.
I would be so excited! My DH doesn't usually get me anything - not even a card for V-day, says he forgets, and for Christmas I get practical gifts like a vacuum cleaner, fish tank one year, bed spread another...very romantic! I've mentioned to him many times that something more personal would be nice, even just a night out to dinner, flowers...but it just goes in one ear and out the other. My MIL says he's just like his father. One year my FIL gave her a frying pan with those 'Leggs pantyhose eggs inside. FIL thought it was hilarious! It is pretty funny actually.

That is sooo funny. My DH and I got a good laugh reading that!!!

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

My husband and I just had that conversation last night. He had been asking what I wanted for V Day and I hinted (very obviously i though) that I wanted a charm bracelet.
So yesterday I emailed him a link for THE bracelet I had my eye on.
Last night he got home
Me: Did you get my email.
Him: Yea Thanks I was looking at charm bracelets but there's thousands of styles.
Me: You need to order it by tomorrow for it to make it in time.
Him: You wanna do that before we go to bed?
Me: Sure ( off to the computer room to log in and order my bracelet)
ME: Hey if we spend 10 more its get free shipping
Him: OK
Him: what's taking so long?
Me: Im filling out the gift card.
Him: I can buy a card to go with it!

I him! and at least I know I am getting THE bracelet I want.

Glad to know we're not the only ones with this type of relationship! How long have y'all been married? Maybe it just gets there (for some people atleast) after many years? LOL
Except he wouldn't bother with the card- he knows I think they are a waste of money. The only time he buys me cards now is at the dollar tree (2 for a $1 -he knows I can bear that but not $5 for a card LOL)

No offence but if DH has an affair and one of the reason is cause I don't wear make up, or get dolled up before he comes home from work cause I am cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of DS 1 & 2 She can freaking have him!

And Jsme I am not saying that to "flame" you I just feel strongly about if he truly loves me then he will love me for who I am not what I look like.

Uh... amen to that. If I have to get dolled up and dressed up and makeup before he comes home to keep him- something is wrong in married land. IMO ofcourse. My DH loves me makeup or not.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

Speaking of mistresses...maybe that's who the make-up is going to this Vday, and you'll get a FREE hug.



I am sooooooo kidding!! Never know when you have to add a disclaimer...

 

[ryanshana]

Speaking of mistresses...maybe that's who the make-up is going to this Vday, and you'll get a FREE hug.



I am sooooooo kidding!! Never know when you have to add a disclaimer...

nah it's cool its been a running joke that he bought a couple kits (cause they're like 40-50 a piece) so one is for me, one is for the mistress, and 2 is for his other 2 sideline gals.

I have a good sense of humor it's cool

I think a page or two back I said that if now I do not get the stuff all $160 of it i'll be updating this post from a jail cell

 

[ryanshana]

Oh and P.S. I was talking to DH tonight saying that I am excited cause his gift shipped and i was like wanna exchange early (a stupid tradition, we are horrible at holding secrets) and he was like "I returned yours." I was like WHAT ....In my head "man I have about a hundred post about this makeup and now we'll never know what was 160 bucks."

then he said j.k.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

nah it's cool its been a running joke that he bought a couple kits (cause they're like 40-50 a piece) so one is for me, one is for the mistress, and 2 is for his other 2 sideline gals.

I have a good sense of humor it's cool

I think a page or two back I said that if now I do not get the stuff all $160 of it i'll be updating this post from a jail cell

I must be really observant...or missed a page. D'oh!!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I really am not trying to sound selfish and immature w/ this post. I think I am just upset cause i'd rather have gotten nothing then a waste of money. I think it is also more upsetting that it makes me feel that he doesn't know me....espeically since I do not/barely wear make up....shoot maybe he hates that I don't and wish I did therefore gets me makeup WHO KNOWS.

Maybe he thinks you've been skimping on things for yourself, like make-up, to save money, and he's trying to give you a turn to indulge yourself?

 

[tink2dw]

I know you said you hate how make-up feels, but that is the thing about minerals they are so light it feels like nothing is on your skin! I have a couple of dark spots on my face and the mineral make-up covers like my face was perfect!! My minerals make me feel better about going out!!

But I don't wear then every day. I don't wear them to the grocery store. But when I know I want to look my best I wear it!

It comes with a DVD of instructions, and tips. You may just like this gift.

If your Dh worked over time to afford this gift, then it was money not accounted for in your budget. So, Not head for your tickets.

I hope you have a fun Valintines Day!!

 

[wright1baby]

Honestly, I do understand your frustration with the money that he spent, but it doensn't sound like he does this frequently (Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, V-day, Sweetest Day EVERY year).
However, my DH got me nothing for Christmas this year. He told me he really wanted to get me a gift certificate to a salon so I could get my hair cut/colored. I had been complaining that my naturally blonde hair has faded to a dull light brown through the years. He was very concerned that a gift certificate to a salon would be taken the wrong way and my feelings would be hurt. When he got done telling me all this, it was better than actually getting the gift certificate to a salon. He actually considered ME and my feelings.
As a mom, I know there are some things that we skimp on. I don't generally wear make-up either, but on occasion--I do. So I do not replace my make-up the way I should.
DH--they do try.

 

[momof3girls6712]

I met my husband in 9th grade so we have had alot of time (15 years this Sept.) to figure each other out. In the 15 years we have never gave each other valentine presents. On one of our first dates I told him I never wanted a present because there was a sign saying to buy me one. That I would prefer a present because it is Wednesday (for example). It works great for us.

I have also learned that I need to tell him if I do not like something. About 7 years ago, we were out shopping and I looked at a cute little frog statue. Well for Christmas I got all frog related items. In fact he even told our extended family I like frogs so I got frog presents from them. Like the PP I have no real want for the frog items. So I explained to him that the real present was that he listened to me and after so many years was still trying to give me what I wanted. He was a bit hurt, but was glad I told him. I think you have to be able to tell each other these things.

 

[RumpleMom]

We have had strange charges show up on our credit card.

All were fraud.

Please let us know if DH gives you make-up.

 

[sbell111]

Here's a bit of advice from a husband:

If you find that you often don't like the gifts that you are given, learn to give better hints.

 

[ZPT1022]

I think it's so nice that your husband bought you a gift like that.
I would be so excited! My DH doesn't usually get me anything - not even a card for V-day, says he forgets, and for Christmas I get practical gifts like a vacuum cleaner, fish tank one year, bed spread another...very romantic! I've mentioned to him many times that something more personal would be nice, even just a night out to dinner, flowers...but it just goes in one ear and out the other. My MIL says he's just like his father. One year my FIL gave her a frying pan with those 'Leggs pantyhose eggs inside. FIL thought it was hilarious! It is pretty funny actually.

I got a fish tank too one year! I really do like it though. It's only funny because he got it thinking that the noise of it would help me to not hear all the little household noises and help me relax and sleep better (I'm a terrible sleeper) but hearing the water run makes me have to pee

 

[pearlieq]

No offence but if DH has an affair and one of the reason is cause I don't wear make up, or get dolled up before he comes home from work cause I am cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of DS 1 & 2 She can freaking have him!

AMEN!

The implied threat that comes all that "you better get dolled up or he'll look elsewhere" stuff makes me queasy. Anyone who actually operates like that isn't worth keeping.

As I told DH when we started getting serious, anything above routine personal hygiene was strictly my business. And if he had any requests, he had better be prepared to do the same thing himself. And wouldn't you know it, he's never decided it was a good idea to have anything waxed.