Send 10 year old boy to mens room??

[yeartolate]

I guess I fail to see how this overprotecting keeps them safe. Sure for the moment you know they are safe and sound (heck you even can make sure they washed their hands!). But in the long run what is the harm? Raising a child that is unable to deal with lifes challenges when the apron strings are cut. My guess is a mother that makes a prepubescent boy go accompanied with her to the ladies also is overprotective in many other ways.

I have always felt that one of my major jobs as a mom was to encourage independence and help them understand how to protect themselves.

 

[IwasatWDWforamonth]

All the ladies who think it is ok....Think back to when you were 10 and using the restroom. Would you want a boy from your school in the stall next to you?

When I was 10 in our school we always used the same bathroom boys and girls, in fact somedays we compared our number 2's,

Ask your son if he wants to go alone and if he does let him but stay right outside the door till he is finished.

 

[MrShiny]

Unless a men's room is in disrepair, it will have stall doors! The urinals may or may not have dividers between them (especially at some stadiums - it's basically a trough), but the stalls always have doors. Occasionally a locker room won't, but that's because men there are generally naked anyway.

At 10, I'd be more worried about what they may see in the opposite sex bathroom than being alone in theirs. Just wait by the door and let them alone. Unless your child has issues where they need supervision bathroom or no, then it should be fine.

Girls restrooms have stall doors, you don't see anything what is the big deal. The thing I don't like is when my husband had to take my daughter in the mens room, they don't have stall doors.

My son is now 9 and tall for his age. I make every effort to find a family bathroom at WDW. I know where they all are. If for some reason there is no family bathroom I take him into the womens, he doesn't really care that much. He turns his head as much as he can even though there are stalls. I am sorry it is a scary world out there and I have heard to many horror stories.

 

[lllovell]

I would not wonder for a moment if I saw a 10-year old with his mother in the women's restroom. I meant that just because the standard seems inappropriate to you, that does not mean it is not appropriate for other people.

Parents should do what they feel comfortable doing in regards to issues of sending their children into restrooms, down the hall for a bucket of ice, etc. I think it is insensitive to suggest that some momentary "discomfort" is more important than a child's perceived safety. Note: I said "perceived". If you believe a situation is unsafe for your child, you are not being responsible as a parent if you place your child in that situation.

Would you be ok with a 10 year old girl in the mens room?

Your last paragraph I mostly agree with - - so does Disney apparently which is why they offer family restrooms (and obviously for handicapped persons as well), so the alternative is there and from the post here, there are LOTS of those restrooms around the park. However, I disagree that this is about momentary discomfort. Its about a child's maturing. Its about other people and respecting those around you as well.

If a young boy isn't old enough by 10 years of age to go to a restroom at WDW alone, when would he be old enough? Do you want a teenager in the restroom with you? 11, 12? There is no magical age and it obviously is about each individual child, but its also about parenting. I am 99% sure if you asked that young man, he would MUCH rather go into the men's room alone. If a parent doesn't believe it is safe - of course they shouldn't let him go alone. However, if those fears seem irrational (as so many here believe), then its not about good parenting to keep him out - - - its about a parent giving their children the skills to take care of themselves and realizing that putting them in the best situations with the best skills is all we can do as parents.

 

[jonestavern]

I stood at the door, told him no to talk to anyone and yell if there is a problem, that I would be right here. He was in and out in no time. Would I do it again? Yes, if it meant the difference between my son having an accident or not having one.

I did do this when DS was about 6 to 10, also told him to yell like crazy. If the restrm was questionable I would observe, call in then send DS in while I stood outside. I do not think bringing a 5 yr old boy into the ladies is over-protecting. Does anyone recall the incident, some time back, in Calif??, big family beach outing, the adult auntie taking her young (8,9, 10?) nephew to the men's, she waited right outside & some monster killed the poor boy? Yes, yes, I know an isolated incident, but as Worfiedoodles said, I will do what I deem prudent to protect my child. I do think bringing into the womens can be handled with discretion, both for the ladies & for the young boy involved. As for Dad's w/ DDs good luck! don't know what I'd do!

Jean

 

[HockeyDadof2]

Hey CRZY4MICKEY.....Just to let you know, that is a URBAN LEGEND that almost every town has. My city just had the same URBAN LEGEND circulate at one of our malls last year.

Even if it was true...Thats one bathroom at one time, the odds of your son/daughter getting stuck in the toilet is more likely to happen.

Not to argue for taking 10 y/o boys into woman's restrooms because I believe quite the opposite. But this is a true story, it happened on a beach I believe in California the boy was with his aunt and the boy did die.

 

[KilleriMac17]

Urban legend?? I think not.
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/12/01feature2.html
gives details of just a few things that have happened to kids in restrooms.

oh no! I guess that means NONE OF US should go in the bathroom alone.. Jeesh.... one thing I notice, is no one complaining about little girls in the men's room?, I notice most men don't care and seem to understand why it was needed, but I think most men would not like it if a 10 year old girl was in there, at some point you have to let your kids be kids but independant, and people wonder why so much is wrong in the world today, people either abuse or smother there kids and they are all messed up.

 

[bryon]

Like I said....Every town has this URBAN LEGEND...

This is besides the point.....No one has answered my question yet about 10 year old girls?

What about the 10 year old girls in the ladies room. I bet they would not enjoy seeing a boy there own age in the same bathroom with them.

Ask any 10 year old girl if they want a boy classmate in the same room with them when they are using the bathroom.

All the ladies who think it is ok....Think back to when you were 10 and using the restroom. Would you want a boy from your school (or even your own age) in the stall next to you?

 

[Crazy Kanga]

Just another perspective on this issue. My son is 10 and autistic. He is a big boy, but in many ways socially and emotionally is more like a 4 or 5 year old. To look at him, one might not realize he is developmentally delayed.I still sometimes take him in the restroom with me if I deem it necessary, depending on the situation. Yes, I get some stares, but I really don't care. Protecting my son is all that matters. Just want those of you who disagree and find this offensive to realize that there are some situations like mine that are very different. So please don't make rude comments to people, because you never know if you might be sticking your foot in your mouth.
As for the urban legend thing, I would rather err on the side of caution in these day and times when children are abused, abducted, and murdered daily. Moms out there, do what you feel is right for your situation and ignore those who might disagree.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

As a parent, I would explain to my 10 year old daughter why she might see boys in the restroom.

I think the reason you haven't seen replies (or at least in my case) is that I think the safety of one child is more important than the discomfort of another.

That said, I do think the family restrooms are a great option.

 

[Lisa Hale]

As a mother with an 11-year old son who has gone to disney every year since birth, I'll take a chance and give my $.02 worth. Most of the time, my son is with his dad when going to the restroom, since that isn't always an option for people (and there are times when dear old dad isn't with us), my only advice for a 10 year old would be that boys at that age ARE very much more aware than we realize sometimes. My son has "noticed" that there are differences for a few years now and would be very disconcerted if I were to take him in with me. I do sometimes go to the family restrooms, but he would have a cow if I went in with him, he's very much "privacy" oriented and doesn't even like using urinals out in the open. But going to a family restroom gives me the opportunity to check out the restroom before he goes in. I usually give a quick look to see that no one is in there and then wait outside the door - he has total privacy and is completely safe. Other options are, as people have stated, letting him go in, but hovering near the entrance. I've done that when we couldn't locate a family restroom.

One thing that makes me feel better about it, my son carries his cell phone everywhere, especially when we go to the parks. Not wanting to start another debate, we chose to get him his own cell phone when we went to disney the year he was 9. If he gets seperated from us, we know we can be in touch in minutes or he can call for help. It's not very expensive on many cell plans, just $10/month with a family plan and his phone was free (just a basic nokia brand, nothing fancy). Makes me feel better, though.

Ultimately, it is strictly your decision to do what you feel best. I'd hate to think anyone changed their minds about what they felt was best just to "fit in" or go along with the crowd and then had something horrible happen. And, yes horrible things can happen anywhere, though fortunately not as often in some places.

BTW, thanks to the person who posted the list of family/companion restrooms. I've already printed it off and put it in our vacation file - it will go with us!

 

[lllovell]

Just another perspective on this issue. My son is 10 and autistic. He is a big boy, but in many ways socially and emotionally is more like a 4 or 5 year old. To look at him, one might not realize he is developmentally delayed.I still sometimes take him in the restroom with me if I deem it necessary, depending on the situation. Yes, I get some stares, but I really don't care. Protecting my son is all that matters. Just want those of you who disagree and find this offensive to realize that there are some situations like mine that are very different. So please don't make rude comments to people, because you never know if you might be sticking your foot in your mouth.
As for the urban legend thing, I would rather err on the side of caution in these day and times when children are abused, abducted, and murdered daily. Moms out there, do what you feel is right for your situation and ignore those who might disagree.

Your situation is why I would NEVER say something to a mom/son in the women's room. As I said before, the comment from women who did say something were totally rude and wrong.

 

[maxaroni]

my ds12, has been going in by himself for quite awhile. I'm not saying I don't worry but I take precautions and stand right near the door. IMO, 10 is too old to go in to the ladies room unless you are in a really really creepy place. It's easier to take a boy into a ladies room than a girl into a mens room. However, IMO, he is old enough to go in by himself. I still tell my son the drill...don't touch anything, don't talk to a stranger, if something seems strange run out and yell...etc. etc.

 

[bryon]

I am all for safety...but I am also a realist. The chances of something happening are so tiny. I just can't imagine living life where I am worried about every little what if's........

I am a very cautious individual by nature. I don't take risks. I don't drink alcohol, I lock my door at night, I stand underneath my three year old as he climbs the ladder at the park.

But golly jee willickers, I am not going to worry about some "crazy" person around every corner. I wasn't going to keep on posting, but I seriously think there is something wrong with people in this world who always expect the worse. I have a better shot at winning the darn lottery than having a 10 year old attacked in a public restroom in Disney.

 

[maxaroni]

Just another perspective on this issue. My son is 10 and autistic. He is a big boy, but in many ways socially and emotionally is more like a 4 or 5 year old. To look at him, one might not realize he is developmentally delayed.I still sometimes take him in the restroom with me if I deem it necessary, depending on the situation. Yes, I get some stares, but I really don't care. Protecting my son is all that matters. Just want those of you who disagree and find this offensive to realize that there are some situations like mine that are very different. So please don't make rude comments to people, because you never know if you might be sticking your foot in your mouth.
As for the urban legend thing, I would rather err on the side of caution in these day and times when children are abused, abducted, and murdered daily. Moms out there, do what you feel is right for your situation and ignore those who might disagree.

ITA with you. Your sons safety is of the utmost importance. As a mom, I realize we all have to do what we feel is right and I try not to be judgmental. I'm basing my .02 on the subject about a boy that doesn't have these disiblities. I would do the same in your case. I guess, to the OP, there is the imaginary line of when it's the time to change...what's right for one isn't right for another.

 

[Sherrilatte]

...Part of protecting your child includes fostering independence and helping them interact with the real world...

A 10 year old boy needs to go to the men's bathroom. Just stand by the door, if Dad can't accompany him.

 

[loriandmatt]

my 10 YO DS goes to the mens room alone, but he knows the "scram, scream, scratch" drill. I passed that wizdom along a few years ago, without making him totally parnoid.I stand at or near the door and listen closely and check everyone coming and going. Heck - i have once asked a guy that looked trustable (on his way in) to check on him.

do i have a problem if some mothers, who for what ever reason, feel it is necessary to take their sons with them into the ladies room - NO.

In my opinion - since everyone is posting them - any woman who isn't a super model or a hot teen ager needs to get a grip. I doubt any boy (pre or post puberty) wants to see what i (or you) got going on. Cindy Crawford (even after she had her kids) i ain't. The granny prude who make the comments about the 9 year old being in the rest room more than likely should have been a bit flatered that anybody wanted to sneak a peak.

just my quirky view on it. (donning my flame resistant suit and packing my bags for my trip to H-E-Doudble hockey sticks, that i am sure some of you are sure i will be taking. But i am OK with that.)

-lori

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Perhaps, rather than deciding there is something wrong with people who have different expectations than you do, you should consider being tolerant and supportive of the many life situations that have contributed to individual personalities.

Perhaps their life experiences have led them to "always expect the worse". Perhaps parenting in a style that is different from yours works for their family, and prepares their child for the lifestyle and expectations they have.

I fully support your right to do whatever you think is appropriate for your child, and I hope you will have that same appreciation for different styles of parenting.

 

[Storminator]

My son is 11. I truly think he'd be less embarassed peeing his pants than he would be trooping into the ladies room with mommy.

I would never say anything to a parent with an older opposite sex kid in the bathroom, but I'd wonder about it.

I don't think it is good to instill paranoia into children. My son has also always been told to not talk to anyone in there and yell if anyone touches him, but I don't want to scare him into thinking that everyone is always out to get him. The media does a good enough job of that. I want him to be aware of his surroundings and to know that certain things are private, but I also want him to not be afraid of every shadow.

 

[anb163]

Well I think its good to want to protect him, but 10 is starting to get to old. It won't be long before he is a teenager and what is he going to go to the bathroom with you then?? Also think about him. It may be kind of embarrassing. When I was 10 I would not set foot in a men's bathroom. I say find a family restroom. It may take a little longer but it will be worth it to you to know your son is safe.