School was on lock down yesterday and DD

[DisneyKT]

What if she had been frightened and cried? Would she have received a detention for that as well?

I fully understand the need for complete silence - however, at such a young age it's difficult to control ones emotions during such a frightening situation.. (And even more so if it's a "first time event"..) I remember as a child getting the nervous giggles at funerals.. Rather than crying, I giggled.. I meant no disrespect - that's just how my particular emotions came out in an uncomfortable situation..

I agree that mom should explain to DD "why" they need complete silence during a threatening situation, but if this has not happened before - nor have there been drills to teach these young children the proper protocol - I think issuing a detention right out of the gate was a little extreme..

I agree with you.. Great post.

 

[mickeyboat]

Normally if something like this happens, all schools within a certain radius will go into lockdown since they do not know if there are multiple people involved that could be targeting multiple schools.

I would rather have the school do more than necessary to keep my kids safe, especially without the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, than do too little.

Believe me, I absolutely hate the thought of my children huddling in a dark corner of the room, petrified. But if that is what it takes to make sure they come home tonight, then that's what it takes.

And since I am no expert on what might deter a crazy person from shooting up an elementary school classroom, I will leave it up to people who might know better what is the safest course of action.

Edited to add - my kids are 8 & 9 and are in third grade. They know exactly what is expected of them during a lock down, they have practiced it numerous times. They came home from one last year and talked about a child being disciplined for not following the rules. They know the consequences.

 

[horseshowmom]

While I can understand both sides, the teacher must follow protocol. He/she is responsible for making sure the children are quiet. Even though it was a nervous laugh, I can pretty much guarantee you that one child not following directions (with no immediate consequences) leads to two children and before long there can be a problem. I think it's horrible that we live in a world where this has to be the case, but the teacher has no choice but to follow school guidelines (particularly under such extreme consequences).

ETA: This brought back memories of the ending of the MASH series (the situation with Hawkeye winding up in a treatment facility - horrifying).

 

[C.Ann]

Hey PAW.... I realize it was not jail time, however it was a nervous giggle. If it any of my other kids, I would not have been surprised and I would probably have talked to them about the need for silence. But this dd is the quietest kid and she was visably upset. I am not a "coddler" as you have indicated. I just thought it was a bit extreme for a giggle. Please feel free to answer me HERE.

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May I ask if your DD's class has had drills and been instructed what to do in a situation such as this? If not, I think the reaction (detention) was totally over the top and the school has been irresponsible in their duties..

If there have been drills for this particular situation, then I think the note you sent was appropriate (voicing your explantion as to your childs behavior), but the detention will probably have to "stand"..

Poor kid.. Must have been scared out of her mind!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Originally Posted by mickeyboat
I am not sure I agree with you. I thought that during a lock down the whole point was to keep the kids from being noticed - seen or heard. The kids are instructed not to make any noise - it's for their own safety. This wasn't a drill, either, it was a real-life dangerous incident. She could have endangered the entire class by giggling - it doesn't matter why she did it.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I agree with talking to your DD about it too like others have mentioned.

 

[daisax]

I remember that MASH episode, too, and how horrifying it was.

That said, there has NEVER been a case where different schools were targeted at the same time, and this practice seems completely irrational to me. Like zero tolerance policies, common sense seems to have been swept away by adult hysteria.

I'm not saying it could never happen, though policies like this seem to me to make it MORE likely (by putting the idea in somebody's head). In the meantime, however, it sounds like they're screwing with the emotions and impressionable minds of a lot of small children on a regular basis, the same way the silly duck and cover exercises of the 50s did, and which the fire drills of our youth did not.

 

[FallingStar]

Hey PAW.... I realize it was not jail time, however it was a nervous giggle. If it any of my other kids, I would not have been surprised and I would probably have talked to them about the need for silence. But this dd is the quietest kid and she was visably upset. I am not a "coddler" as you have indicated. I just thought it was a bit extreme for a giggle. Please feel free to answer me HERE.

OK it took me a minute to figure out who you were talkinga about but now that I have..... you know good and well that PAW can't answer you HERE , if you really want your answer why don't you post over THERE where she CAN respond?

 

[debster812]

I think your note was fine, I personally would not have written it, but that's just me. In this day and age of overcrowded classrooms, you have 1 adult with maybe 25 or more children. In this type of a situation, they NEED to be still and silent, one nervous giggler could set off a chain reaction of sorts. I know your daughter did not mean anything by it, and it was, by your explanation, a nervous reaction, but in this situation, I can totally understand the teacher's POV. The point is to not draw any extra attention to anyone, or any room.

DS is 11, and they had a real lockdown last year. Dark room, blinds drawn, door locked, etc. He happened to be sitting next a girl who was near hysterics, and spent a lot of time trying to calm her down. I'm proud of him for trying to help her, when he told me he was really scared as well. Maybe your DD can get a 'buddy' type pal in class who can help her stay calm?

 

[JessicaR]

This is a reflex that can't be controlled. My husband and son both do this. It may not be appropriate and it may piss some people off but really they aren't laughing because they think something is funny. Rather they are likely experiencing intense anxiety.

Endorphins rush in at the most inappropriate of situations. Nervous laughing is just a response the same as someone else would react by crying.

I am so sorry your daughter got detention for this. I guarantee it made a bad situation much worse for her as she likely just had no control over it.

 

[MushyMushy]

I think your note was fine. You weren't berating her for giving the detention, but you were definitely letting her know that your DD was taking the lockdown seriously and not being a PITA. I'm a nervous laugher too. In some of the worst situations of my life, I giggled rather than cried.

to you and your DD. That must have been frightening!

 

[disykat]

This was a really stressful situation for everyone - students, staff, and certainly parents as well. Are you sure you aren't allowing the stress of the situation to color your reaction?

She missed some recess. I know everyone is different, but to me that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, emotions are high in times like this - for everyone. I'd try to give the teacher a break for considering her students safety the utmost important.

 

[rgf207]

I remember that MASH episode, too, and how horrifying it was.

That said, there has NEVER been a case where different schools were targeted at the same time, and this practice seems completely irrational to me. Like zero tolerance policies, common sense seems to have been swept away by adult hysteria.

I'm not saying it could never happen, though policies like this seem to me to make it MORE likely (by putting the idea in somebody's head). In the meantime, however, it sounds like they're screwing with the emotions and impressionable minds of a lot of small children on a regular basis, the same way the silly duck and cover exercises of the 50s did, and which the fire drills of our youth did not.

Whoa...wait a minute. Until Columbine, there had never been an incident where two students carefully planned a mass killing spree where they targeted specific individuals and there was no preparation for that. The result were that many people lost their lives.

Since then, professionals have goten together and determined policies and security/saftey measures to protect your children while in school. This includes placing multiple schools in lockdown when there is an incident at one school and there is no way of knowing if this same incident could be happening in another school.

To say that it is irrational and toying with minds of children is not true IMHO. If this did happen and multiple schools were targeted you would bet your behind that hundreds would be screaming that no preventative action was taken at surrounding schools

 

[Camicar]

The question I would have is if giving a detention for a nervous giggle will prevent her from nervously giggling from anxiety again?

If they are going to have these consequences, then they should also be giving the kids the tools to avoid having the consequences. So I probably would have asked the teacher to show my dd a foolproof way how to stop giggling when she's scared out of her mind and wished her good luck with that.

 

[C.Ann]

This was a really stressful situation for everyone - students, staff, and certainly parents as well. Are you sure you aren't allowing the stress of the situation to color your reaction?

She missed some recess. I know everyone is different, but to me that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, emotions are high in times like this - for everyone. I'd try to give the teacher a break for considering her students safety the utmost important.

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Not the OP, but if I'm reading her right, she's upset that her DD is being punished for being "scared".. How do you tell a child that small not to be scared - in such a scary situation? Even adults have been known to "giggle" - when according to society, the more appropriate reaction would be to "cry"..

Of course I'm making all of these comments on the "assumption" that there had been no prior drills for this type of thing - with the "being absolutely quiet" aspect stressed to the max.. And you know what they say about "assumptions" right?

No drills = no punishment.. If there were drills, punishment stands - and mom needs to help DD understand the importance of being "quiet as a mouse" in the future - even if it's extremely difficult..

 

[bluesaturn]

Is it physically possible to keep say a classroom of six year olds quiet for 90 minutes? I can't even imagine.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

It would not be particularly easy!

We all have a box in our rooms for emergencies. We are more likely to have the kids in the hall for a tornado than in lock down. In my box I have candy and granola, water, books, coloring books, we have even used a video in the hall for an extended storm. I have a flash light and plastic bags (someone mentioned kids getting sick). Some basic medical supplies. We try to be as prepared as possible. I pray I am never in that situation. I cannot imagine how afraid I would be that something would happen to one of my class.

(our school and I think most schools, also has enough food to feed the kids dinner and breakfast in the case of them needing to stay overnight. It would not be homemade but they would not be hungry)

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Is it physically possible to keep say a classroom of six year olds quiet for 90 minutes? I can't even imagine.

When I taught it was special education K-1. We kept a flashlight, some red cloth, sticks and marshmallows in the classroom. During lockdown drills we used to huddle in the corner and have a "campfire". We told the kids they couldn't make a sound because the bears and wolves would hear them. That and the fact that their mouths were full of sticky marshmallows kept them quiet.

Luckily we only ever had a "lockdown response" and not a "lockdown no-response" for real. The former is where you have to stay in your rooms with the blinds closed, but otherwise can continue with your day -- we use it for things that are out in the community (e.g. a shooting in the neighborhood) or things like an ambulance coming to the school.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

OP, did your daughter know that it wasn't a drill? Here we never tell our kids whether or not it's over until it's over, because there's no reason to scare them. Same thing with fire drills -- if the alarm goes off and I know it's not a drill (they tell us "there'll be one this week") I call "fire drill" and we line up and go out. No need to scare the kids.

 

[Nancyg56]

The question I would have is if giving a detention for a nervous giggle will prevent her from nervously giggling from anxiety again?

If they are going to have these consequences, then they should also be giving the kids the tools to avoid having the consequences. So I probably would have asked the teacher to show my dd a foolproof way how to stop giggling when she's scared out of her mind and wished her good luck with that.

I agree that this is a teaching moment for the class, not just the child who is being punished. If one child had a nervous reaction it can happen to another child. It is unfortunate that these procedures are in place but thy are and so parents as well as the school need to help their kids cope.

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Of course I'm making all of these comments on the "assumption" that there had been no prior drills for this type of thing - with the "being absolutely quiet" aspect stressed to the max.. And you know what they say about "assumptions" right?

No drills = no punishment.. If there were drills, punishment stands - and mom needs to help DD understand the importance of being "quiet as a mouse" in the future - even if it's extremely difficult..

I am going to make an assumption here too. I bet that the school system has already had drills, my DGD is in the 2nd grade and they drilled in the very beginning of the school year. Kady already knows what she is to do, where she is to "hide" and that she is to be still and quiet.

If the school has not drilled they need to do so and they also need to help the children learn to contain their emotions.


I know that the circumstances were different but the reactions of children is generally the same, but when I was little we had bomb shelters in school and had drills for them. It was scary but even then we knew that we needed to proceed in a certain manner ad that the process was for our protection. Children do not always understand the threat but they do understand rules and consequences and they do understand when they need to keep their composure.

 

[Tink888]

to you and your daughter OP. I can see both sides. I laugh sometimes when I'm nervous too but I also understand the school's need to strictly enforce the rules so the kids understand the seriousness of the situation. The detention may have seemed harsh but really the teacher's main goal was keeping students safe. That's what is most important in the end.

It's just sad for all of us that we and our kids are living in a world where schools have to have lockdowns.