School field trip, bathing suit guidelines

[unhinged]

Um, okay, I'm talking about nature. Boys are attracted to girls, even at the very young age of 11 and 12. Does that mean they aren't capable of keeping their mind on anything else, of course not.
Look, its okay that some people don't think a dress code is needed, but your opinion is not based on anything more than your inability to see logic, you are thinking more in an emotional way. That is okay, but the world sometimes needs to be based on what is logical, and that includes things like dress codes in schools.

Wow, because I disagree with you, I can't think logically? How incredibly condescending.

All I am saying is that our students do not have a dress code and it works just fine. Because the thrill of breaking the dress code is not there, not many do. If somebody would come to school in pasties with her breasts hanging out, it would be addressed on an individual basis.

Logically, it works just fine in our school to not have a dress code.

 

[unhinged]

I think our dress code did have something about distraction and offensiveness, but it wasn't sexualized. We weren't allowed to have blue hair or paint our faces with kabuki make-up either.
I don't think girl's shoulders are distracting to boys, but boobs or butts hanging out are distracting for many people (just because it's not the norm-not even being sexual ly attracted to it)...I know some of the rules are silly, but I think some of them exist because some people don't have common sense.

Our first and second graders are coming in with pink, blue and purple hair. If I was smart, I would be buying stock in kool-aid as it is a very big thing here to dye highlights or the ends of your hair.

The gross one I think is the girls are letting their arm hair grow and then dying it to match the highlights in their hair. So, you see high school girls walking around with bright pink pit hair.

 

[unhinged]

I will never understand why 10-12 year olds cannot wear tank tops or tankinis. There is absolutely nothing to sexualize about a kid that young. The reason I support the "no string bikinis" for waterpark field trips is solely because they have been known to get loose and fall off on the slides-- yikes! If boys can wear no shirt on their school waterpark field trips, then girls should be allows to wear a non-string bikini.

Oh man, and don't get me started on tank tops. We must protect the boys from women's shoulders! Send the witches home for the day. Boys not seeing shoulders is more important the girls' educations

Come to our scandalous school where the elementary and middle school girls wear camisoles without any problem. And the boys don't pay any mind because they are used to seeing shoulders.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I'm sorry but I am not okay with telling my daughter that she can't wear something because boys can't be expected to stay on task or focused.

So you're not ok with telling your daughter that clothes that are specifically designed to attract and distract boys are in fact attracting and distracting to the boys?

The thinking that males cannot control their urges at any age is DANGEROUS. I can't believe this is still something people believe. You are literally teaching girls that boys' sexual urges are more important than their education. You are teaching boys that they have no control over their hormones. How can either of those things possibly be okay?

Maybe when clothing companies make it actually possible for girls to find longer shorts parents can dress their kids like that. But in one breath you have clothing companies only making short shorts and skinny tank tops, and in another breath you have schools telling kids they can't wear them. They can't wear something that doesn't exist, and wanting to look cute is not a crime. Girls shouldn't have to wear bermuda shorts and polos every day because some boy might get inappropriately distracted. That's insane. Instead of teaching your girls modesty, teach your boys not to sexualize girls in school and to control themselves.

This thread is so dangerous.

The proper method of teaching people that women and girls are not objects is not allowing them to wear clothes that objectify them. There are certainly clothes out there that are not designed to do that that are cute.

It's not about surviving. It's about what you're teaching them. It's about teaching girls to be ashamed of something they can't change - their bodies. It's about teaching them that boys' education is more important than theirs. It's about teaching them that they will be to blame when they get sexually assaulted at a college party.
That's not the kind of lesson I want my future daughters learning, because some hormonal boys may be distracted.

We're all smart enough to know that anyone blaming the clothes women wear for those women getting harassed, otherwise not treated in a respectful manner, or assaulted, or worse is full of it. And we're all smart enough to know that people should be able to control themselves not to cross those particular lines. But to complain that boys and girls shouldn't be getting attracted or distracted by clothes deliberately designed and worn to do just that is errant to say the very least.









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[TheDisneyNurse]

^^PP, you are completely missing her point. Perfectly okay if a boy finds a girl and her clothing choices attractive. However, a boy that was raised right knows how to control himself and will be able to move on with their lives and pay attention in school. Boys are not dogs. They are humans with an ability to reason. I have had good looking patients before. It took absolutely nothing away from my nursing abilities-- and we nurses see a lot more than just shoulders! Self control goes a long way.

 

[ashley0139]

The proper method of teaching people that women and girls are not objects is not allowing them to wear clothes that objectify them. There are certainly clothes out there that are not designed to do that that are cute.

That's the exact OPPOSITE of the proper method. The method of teaching people that girls are not objects are teaching people that GIRLS ARE NOT OBJECTS NO MATTER WHAT THEY WEAR. Clothing has nothing to do with it.

 

[Gracie09]

So you're not ok with telling your daughter that clothes that are specifically designed to attract and distract boys are in fact attracting and distracting to the boys?



The proper method of teaching people that women and girls are not objects is not allowing them to wear clothes that objectify them. There are certainly clothes out there that are not designed to do that that are cute.




We're all smart enough to know that anyone blaming the clothes women wear for those women getting harassed, otherwise not treated in a respectful manner, or assaulted, or worse is full of it. And we're all smart enough to know that people should be able to control themselves not to cross those particular lines. But to complain that boys and girls shouldn't be getting attracted or distracted by clothes deliberately designed and worn to do just that is errant to say the very least.









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Oh please. The proper way to teach boys that girls aren't objects is to teach the girls that they should dress a certain way. That makes no sense.
I use to work at an organization that went into frats and other organizations to teach them about date rape. I had more than one man, including some in the military, that a woman who was wearing knee high boots with a skirt was asking to be raped.
So a girl is a tank top is asking to be objectified. I think not. You all must have a very poor opinion of boys if you think they are unable to understand that basic concept. But why bother teaching it when we can just teach the girls that they are responsible for the boys thoughts. Btw in some communities in the U.S. anyone not covered from neck to knee is dressed inappropriately.

 

[mjkacmom]

I can't believe some of what I'm reading! Clothing designed to attract men?! Do people think that girls and women dress to please men? And designers make some sexy items so that women can attract men? I dress for me, my girls dress for themselves. Actually, if I'm dressing to impress, it's to impress other women - I couldn't care less about the men, I'm married. Plus, women notice what other women wear more than men do. My girls will shop with other girls, to get their approval.

Wear whatever makes you feel confident.

 

[unhinged]

I went to public school in the late 70's early 80's. I don't remember any type of dress code and looking back at my yearbooks I am fairly certain we didn't have a dress code and yet, we all managed to become educated. The majority of us are productive citizens with higher educations, good careers and families.
We wore all kinds of things. I remember when the tube top and suspenders was a thing. Now, those who chose to dress hoochie had to deal with the peer comments and labels that came with it. However, tanks, spaghetti straps and shorts/mini skirts were certainly not going to get someone labeled. The tube top and suspenders........well that might have done it

Our favorite outfit in HS in the 70's was the midriff peasant blouse with our hip hugger hot pants. And we are also all productive people. If we wore button down tops, we always folded the back up and tied it right under our bras.

I think everybody's version of modesty is different. I will admit that I was raised by wolves (European parents) and spent most of my childhood summers on top optional European beaches. So, I do not have the same body hangups that many of my fellow Americans do.

In our area, camisoles, sundresses, tank tops and any other clothing item that shows the shoulder is not immodest.

Would I send my child to school in shorts where you can see the buttocks? No. But I also am not going to make her a laughing stock and send her to school in Bermuda shorts. 1 to 2 inches below the area where the buttocks meets the leg covers the butt completely, even when bending over.

And while I would not encourage the same midriff tops we wore to school, I don't see any problem with the trend of tops just skimming or even an inch above the top of the pants, showing the belly button. That is way more modest than the 70's.

 

[Mkrop]

It's not about surviving. It's about what you're teaching them. It's about teaching girls to be ashamed of something they can't change - their bodies. It's about teaching them that boys' education is more important than theirs. It's about teaching them that they will be to blame when they get sexually assaulted at a college party.

That's not the kind of lesson I want my future daughters learning, because some hormonal boys may be distracted.

The kids are learning just fine in bermuda shorts and polos...that is the point. Kids do it everyday, in the heat etc. That is my point. Some people were complaining about wearing certain clothes in the heat. People dont need "cute" clothes to learn, they just need clothes so whatever the dress code is, none, uniform, whatever, so if a school has one, just follow it, it is not that big a deal. Once again do you (general) argue for the boys to wear sagging pants as much as you are arguing for girls to wear tanks, camis etc. I think BOTH are a distraction for whatever reason.

Sandals?! Say it isn't so?! With perhaps some toe showing? Scandalous! My girls love wearing clunky sensible shoes - they've been taught that cute sandals just lead them down the road to debauchery!

Did you even read what I wrote...they dont allow sandals for SAFETY reasons, too many accidents when the kids are out playing, kids fell down steps etc. Even our teachers are not allowed to wear flip flops..for SAFETY reasons. But there is always that parent who sends their kid in sandals and then whines when their kid gets in trouble or they have to bring proper footwear to school...and their reason "oh but the sandals are sooooo cute.." really I am sure they are, then wear them on the weekends.

None of these restrictions are that big a deal...I dont get it. Your kid can learn in a tank just as easy as she can learn in a tshirt so if that is what the school wants then do it.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

The kids are learning just fine in bermuda shorts and polos...that is the point. Kids do it everyday, in the heat etc. That is my point. Some people were complaining about wearing certain clothes in the heat. People dont need "cute" clothes to learn, they just need clothes so whatever the dress code is, none, uniform, whatever, so if a school has one, just follow it, it is not that big a deal. Once again do you (general) argue for the boys to wear sagging pants as much as you are arguing for girls to wear tanks, camis etc. I think BOTH are a distraction for whatever reason.



None of these restrictions are that big a deal...I dont get it. Your kid can learn in a tank just as easy as she can learn in a tshirt so if that is what the school wants then do it.

I do agree with following the rules, I just have an issue with WHY the rules are in place.

That's all.

 

[tvguy]

Okay, prude here. No issue with the school policy. I am having a hard time believing a parent would allow a 6th grader to even own a skimpy swim suit at all. On an 11 year old??!

 

[unhinged]

they dont allow sandals for SAFETY reasons, too many accidents when the kids are out playing, kids fell down steps etc. Even our teachers are not allowed to wear flip flops..for SAFETY reasons. But there is always that parent who sends their kid in sandals and then whines when their kid gets in trouble or they have to bring proper footwear to school...and their reason "oh but the sandals are sooooo cute.." really I am sure they are, then wear them on the weekends.

I think we baby kids too much. Interestingly, we have no restrictions on flip flops and our students and teachers wear them daily, including myself.

We have never, ever had any kind of accident in the 1 5+ years the school has been open.

 

[unhinged]

Okay, prude here. No issue with the school policy. I am having a hard time believing a parent would allow a 6th grader to even own a skimpy swim suit at all. On an 11 year old??!

Depends on what your definition of skimpy is. Some people think anything but a one piece is skimpy. Some people think triangles connected by string is skimpy. And then there is everything in between. Better to allow each parent decide for their own child what is appropriate.

 

[mjkacmom]

The kids are learning just fine in bermuda shorts and polos...that is the point. Kids do it everyday, in the heat etc. That is my point. Some people were complaining about wearing certain clothes in the heat. People dont need "cute" clothes to learn, they just need clothes so whatever the dress code is, none, uniform, whatever, so if a school has one, just follow it, it is not that big a deal. Once again do you (general) argue for the boys to wear sagging pants as much as you are arguing for girls to wear tanks, camis etc. I think BOTH are a distraction for whatever reason.



Did you even read what I wrote...they dont allow sandals for SAFETY reasons, too many accidents when the kids are out playing, kids fell down steps etc. Even our teachers are not allowed to wear flip flops..for SAFETY reasons. But there is always that parent who sends their kid in sandals and then whines when their kid gets in trouble or they have to bring proper footwear to school...and their reason "oh but the sandals are sooooo cute.." really I am sure they are, then wear them on the weekends.

None of these restrictions are that big a deal...I dont get it. Your kid can learn in a tank just as easy as she can learn in a tshirt so if that is what the school wants then do it.

Our schools don't allow flip flops or cami's, but allow all other sandals and tanks.

 

[mjkacmom]

Depends on what your definition of skimpy is. Some people think anything but a one piece is skimpy. Some people think triangles connected by string is skimpy. And then there is everything in between. Better to allow each parent decide for their own child what is appropriate.

My girls have been wearing full coverage bikinis since the age of three. I see nothing inappropriate, especially at 12. Just had five 12 year old girls, and four 12 year old boys, swimming and for dinner. Four girls were wearing bikinis, and they played silly pool games and ate burgers and dogs. The girls were still well covered, and honestly, interacted the same as nine 12 year old girls, or nine 12 year old boys. Let's not rush this adult stuff on 6th graders, please.

Eta, I have never seen an inappropriate bathing suit on any 12 year old - they all wear the same target or justice bikinis, probably 8 different ones.

 

[Diznygrl]

I think we all need to talk about what's really important here....


What's this I'm reading about pink armpit hair being the latest fashion trend?????

 

[Art 1]

I think we all need to talk about what's really important here....


What's this I'm reading about pink armpit hair being the latest fashion trend?????

I think Mily Sirus started the trend.

 

[tvguy]

Depends on what your definition of skimpy is. Some people think anything but a one piece is skimpy. Some people think triangles connected by string is skimpy. And then there is everything in between. Better to allow each parent decide for their own child what is appropriate.

I suspect the whole reason they have the rule is because what some parents thought was appropriate, wasn't.

 

[scheddj]

Guess what people? Once their hormones kick in girls and boys start to see each other as sexual beings even if there's not an inch of skin showing. Maybe we should be teaching our children how to deal with all of those confusing new feelings instead of trying to make them feel ashamed of those feelings or their bodies.