SAHM Help!

[pilesoflaundry]

Find free things to do to get out of the house. Pack snacks or lunch from home. Story time, the library, a park.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

As everyone said there is no need for the mall, jumpy place, lunches out. Those are for you not the kids. Let me tell you the kids will forget about it really quick. You can do library story time for free, find a bunch of moms & have a weekly get together at each others houses. I used to feel bad that my kids don't go out every weekend like other people we know but the fact is they are better off having me home than going to the movies every week.

 

[Marionnette]

I am currently a SAHM. My husband works super hard and makes the money in our household. I used to work part time until I had to take a leave of absence for my current pregnancy. We are due at the end of March with our second child.

2011 is a new year and with that comes changes. I no longer have my PT income and I no longer have my unemployment that I was on after leaving my FT job back in 2009, so changes have to be made.

I do all the bills and try to come up with the budget. DH is just to busy to do it so I do, but every month I feel a sense of guilt because each month we are pay check to paycheck or short and when going over teh list of things that we could cut, one of the 3 things is his bowling each month and just dont feel like he should have to give that up. He works so hard ya know? Plus I feel guilty because I tend to be the spender as a SAHM. In the winters are are alwasy trying to get out of the house, so lunch, the mall, a jumpy place etc and it all adds up, so then I feel guilty like I am not pulling my weight with bringing in income.

So for all you SAHM out there... do you deal with guilt, who does the finances and how do you budget?

DH did get a bonus this year and after years of not getting one, we decided to go to WDW. We have paid the trip in full except now are needing airfare and whatever spending money we take. Life is too short and we feel that since we never go on vacation, that we just needed to do it. It will be paid in cash before we go so we wont go in debt.

We do have debt- from stupid choices back when we got married. I am not proud, but you cant change the past, only the future. We are working toward paying them down, but they are large and seem like a never ending battle

So I dont even really know what I am asking, I guess just venting and to see if there are any otehr SAHM out there who feel guilty financially and also to see how you manage money. How do you cut costs and budget for kids sports and activities if you do live pay check to paycheck?

Thanks in advance!!!

Ive been a sahm for fifteen years. By choice not by circumstance. I regard it as my job. The main focus of the job is to keep the household running smoothly. From making appointments to grocery shopping and everything in between. My job is to take care of all the little details while my husband focuses on the paycheck. I feel no guilt just because my job doesnt put cash IN the bank. My job is to keep the cash from flowing OUT of the bank!

A few things in your post just jump out at me. One is that you seem to be spending alot to entertain the child you have. I know that cabin fever is tough to shake in the winter. Planning a morning or afternoon out is a great help but you have to go about it in a frugal way. Story time at the library not the local book store where you will be tempted to buy new books. A picinic lunch at the playground with a couple other moms and kids instead of lunch at mcdonalds or chucky cheese. Drop gymboree or mommy & me classes in favor of a mother's group that meets once a week at each others homes. Borrow dvds from the library to entertain your child at home instead of buying them new. Avoid the toy store. Invest in crayons, markers, play doh and paints. Then make "art class" a regular part of your day.

The next thing that is a red flag is your mention of needing a vacation. Everyone needs down time in order to recharge there batteries and to reconnect with there spouse. But dont use that as an excuse to drop a bundle on a trip when you have other expenses that arent being addressed. You can relax at home. Or on a short weekend away from home at an inexpensive hotel while staying on points. Its not a wise use of your limited funds when you blow a windfall on a luxury while living paycheck to paycheck the rest of the time. Im trying not to come across as being judgemental. Its just an observation that I see all too frequently on these boards, especially among people who have not made wise financial choices in the past. I think that its because they have never had to look at the big picture before. Not surprising when your living paycheck to paycheck and usually cannot see beyond the next round of bills. Once you change your mindset about budgeting and finances in general, you will be able to make better long term financial decisions.

For now, make it a challenge this new year to find one free activity each week that you and your child can enjoy. Make a calendar and post it on the fridge with dates and times. Use your township website and local newspaper for ideas. Check the school district website too. The schools often have weekend and summer activities for families of all ages around here. The kids dont have to be school age to participate as long as the parent is present.

Add an additional challenge to save just $10 off of your grocery bill each week for the first month. $10 isnt hard. Just dont buy soda and chips one week. Or get the no name brand of fabric softener and detergent the next. Dont repeat the same $10 savings but try to find a different area to save that $10 each trip. Some will work for you and some wont. At the end of a month you will have shaved $40 and you will have tried 4 ways to cut the grocery costs. The following month, choose one of those ways that worked and use it every trip. Find another 4 new ways to shave $10 each trip and do that every week. At the end of the second month you will have shaved $80 and you will have 8 ways to save $10 (some good, some bad).

Finally, you and your husband need to work as a team when it comes to finances. Just like a corporation cannot have one person making all the decisions and bearing all the burden of budgeting, the business of running your family should not rest solely on your shoulders. He might be too tired at times to address all the little details but the two of you need to meet at least once a month to go over your income and "outgo". He may see a spending pattern that can be modified or an area of waste that your not noticing.

Good luck, op. Its not easy being a young family in today's environment. Do your best and dont let any setbacks derail you.

 

[LaurenLC]

I've been a SAHM for only (almost) 7 months now, and NO GUILT AT ALL! My husband works very hard and financially supports us, but I run this house! I raise our daughter while he's at work; do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I control our entire household budget and pay all our bills. I clip coupons and shop sales to make sure our money goes further.

My husband thanks me EVERYDAY and tells me he is happy he gets to go to work!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

just thinking...OP I read more carefully your post.... being a SAHM is a job for me,a mission to care for my home and family that I take very seriously.... try to think about your goals as a SAHM,what your plans are,what you'd like to see your family living like. wandering from mall to mall, going to bouncey places b/c you're bored,buying to fill a gap in your life, won't work out at all. and I have to amend my last post....if you're really paycheck to paycheck,and haven't yet mastered how to budget for your lives, a trip to Disney is NOT a good thing right now for you. I'm sorry to sound like that, but please really think about what you'd like for your family in 6 months,a year,5 years?
when you get 5.00, use it to pay down previous debt....KWIM?
in fact make a written plan, how much does your dh make,how much are your current bills, how much extra can you afford to pay them down...etc. then you'll have a clear picture of how long till you can afford extras again...and something to plan for!

The bolded and italicized part is how I have to think about being a SAHM. It really *is* a job, it's a lot of responsibility to keep children safe, happy, and healthy and keep a home running smoothly. That leads me to the next post.

guilt for what? this is a fairly recent idea,being 'guilty' over one parent home,the other bringing home a check.... not knocking anyone elses situations, but for us, it works well that way (old fashioned I guess) my DH works FT, I have stayed home and managed things since we had kids....my main job is to run our home well,and to SAVE when I can. we are both pretty clear on our responsibilities,and we're both content.
SInce I can,I spend as LITTLE as possible on what we need and use,which is my financial contribution to our family life. (In addition to all the valuable services I provide as wife and Mom)
to OP -I'd be careful about taking on new debt in your situation- you have to 'learn' how to live well on your one income now,plus a new child coming.... part of making the SAHM thing in this day and age means you have to have a clear picture of what you can/can't afford.
maybe that means driving to your disney trip,if it's all paid for- maybe it means postponing till you get a better handle on finances currently.

Yep. Exactly. I feel that my "salary" is what I can save. It's kind of backwards but I feel like the money I save on groceries, clothing, etc, is just as good as money I could have earned. In fact, I guess I do feel I "earn" it because saving money is hard! Couponing and finding the best deals takes work!

OP, I have always taken a more "middle of the road" approach. I have been a SAHM for 11 years. Even now, I will give myself an allowance. All the non-essential "fun" stuff comes out of that. Once it is gone, it is gone, and we do only free things after that.

It also helped for me to look at my spending as a game. I figured it was dh's job to bring the money into the household, and my job to keep it there. I would make it a game and challenge myself to see how little money I could spend each day, week, month. I also looked at what non-essential purchases cost in terms of days worked rather than price. See my dh travels for a living, so extra purchases meant he had to work more and spend that many more days away from home. Because I love him and would rather he not have to spend even more time away, it made not buying things easier when I stopped and said to myself, "Buying this means that dh will have to work an entire extra day next month."

Of course, this way is slower and less aggressive than cutting out everything, so you won't see results as fast. Without knowing your situation, I couldn't really say which method would be best. Also, I think both spouses have to be onboard with a more aggressive method.

Yep! I like to look at it as a game-- it's a lot less stressful. I also equated money/costs/prices as time instead of money. Sometimes it's easier to make sense of it all.

 

[worm761]

{{HUGS}} OP. I totally understand where you are coming from. If you just need to talk, feel free to PM me. I have been where you are. Last year actually. LOL

How old are your kids? Have you thought about doing fun things in the house? Board games go over really well at my house and they are a one time cost. Have you continued to look for deals for your Disney visit? They just released some discounts. Will they apply to you? You could call and have them applied if they do. That would save some money. I follow some blogs to get free or cheap stuff. They post the grocery deals paired with coupons so I don't have to do all the work. It has helped my grocery bill. I went from thinking we were only spending about 400 a month to learning that we were really spending about 120 a week on groceries. I kept every receipt for two months to track our spending. I then figured out where I could shave things off. I am now down to 60-70 a week for groceries. We area family of three adults, teen boy, and toddler girl. Have you considered doing some stay at home job? I work for ChaCha. I don't make a ton. I virtual school my teen and have a one year old. There isn't a lot of time to work but I can still make around 200 a month with it. I have to agree with those that say the kids won't remember the bouncy places. I can tell you that I remember them as a kid but it is because we didn't go often to do stuff like that. It was a once a year treat. I took my DS all the time since I thought how fun it was when I was a kid. He doesn't remember. I won't do that with DD. Once in a while as a special treat is all. I make it my goal to stay home with the kids and only do one "cost" thing a month. Oh, and I started doing some mystery shopping to help fund my Disney trips. https://www.certifiedfieldassociate.com/index.aspx check them out. You can pick and choose what you do. That is what I love about ChaCha too. I get to pick and choose when I work. Like I should be working now since DD is napping. But I came here instead.

 

[GoofyGolferGirl]

I agree with the PP's that said no to Disney, put the money toward debt. Seems like most of the SAHM's realize that the time at home with their kids is the reward and the feeling of being debt free is amazing! Don't you think your kids would appreciate the trip to Disney much more in a few years?

 

[Nik's Mom]

I feel for you, op. I had a career that I loved, but when dh's job relocated us, I had to quit working. I have 2 special needs kids, and moving out of state and away from family meant that I needed to be home once the kids got out of school. I've been at home for almost 3 years. It has been a journey!

It has been a very difficult transition. First, adjusting to one income, then adjusting to a different lifestyle. I suggest that you examine your budget more closely. Can you reduce your grocery costs? I was able to cut my grocery bills by using coupons. http://www.couponmom.com/ Check out this website that lists good sales and coupons for your groceries. It has helped me cut my costs big time. And it is free!

As for things to do that are free, I second the suggestion of playing board games or things at home. And there are always free or nearly free activities in every town. Just check around.

I know what you mean about your dh working hard. I feel the same way about my dh. But if you can't cut expenses elsewhere, you should explain that to your husband. He will probably understand about giving up his hobby for a while. Hang in there, op!

 

[3goofyboys]

I'm a SAHM, have been from the beginning and I feel zero guilt. It was my career choice, not something I fell into accidentally. It's my job and I want to do the best job I can at it; I'd feel the same if I were a doctor or a CPA.

That said, adjusting to being a SAHM was very hard for me. I felt that for my sanity I needed to get out of the house every day. That got very pricey very fast. My solution was to find a local moms' group and it has been my savior. I've known these women since my older son was 12 months old and they have become some of my best friends. Before our kids were in school, we got together 3 times a week. Sometimes the activities cost money, but often we just met at someone's house and let the kids play while we chatted. Playdates are as much for moms as they are for kids and they're an important part of keeping us happy, healthy and sane so we can be great moms for our kids. Now that the boys are in school 3 days a week, we only get together once a week, but it's still one of the highlights of the boys' week. If you can't find a group, it's pretty easy to start one, ours was started by a mom looking to make new friends. I think she scoped out local people's myspace pages and offered invites, but you could easily do the same thing at a mall play area, story time, or whatever.

I agree with the part of your post where you said "You only live once". It sounds like right now you're living in a way that makes you feel anxious and guilty. Is that the way you want to live? Obviously it's your life, your situation, and you know it better than any of us. But, if it was me I'd rather live day to day in a way that made me happy, satisfied, and secure than spend a week on a really great vacation. If giving up the Disney trip can help move you that direction, you might look at doing that.

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

I feel the same way sometimes. There are so many fun things to do but with 2 kids it can get expensive to just play out of the house for the day. But that's where I found joining a local playgroup really helped on that. There is a group in our area that meets nearly every day in some way, one age or another. They meet for playdates at a someone's house, go to the library, and meet at the park.

We spend a ton of time at the library. Our town's library isn't very big and the kids section is small. But there are enough puzzles and puppets to keep my guys busy for an hour. Once a week they meet for a free playtime for toddlers (about an hour long), once a week for family story time, and once a week for free movie day. They also have lots of activities during the weekends that are free. We also visit the library in the next town over because their children's section is amazing with lots of open space to play and more things to do than just read books. Our library also has a pass program where you can get discount tickets or free tickets to area museums, zoos, and parks.

We used to visit our children's museum and zoo all the time. So we ended up with memberships to both, thinking it was cheaper in the long run. We cut out the zoo membership (+$100 a year) because we only went a few times and kept the museum pass instead. For about $80 a year we can visit anytime we want, for as long as we want. They have a great area to sit and eat so you can bring your own lunch then keep playing. They also have a free art class everyday that my kids really enjoy. Especially since they have so many different art materials to try. You can also visit other museums if they have a swap program. During the winter we visit a few times a week, bring our lunch (or eat before we leave), and have a great day.

We visit the local mall because they have a free indoor play center with a clubhouse and slide. We take our lunch and sit by the fountains. We play for a while then use the change from the car to buy a pretzel to share. If there's no extra change, we don't get one. I'm not tempted by the mall because I get almost everything for my kids at resales, Goodwill, or Salvation Army. The mall would be my last choice for shopping.

It can be overwhelming at times to get it all done. But a schedule and always having a plan b for the day has really helped me. My DH works so hard so I can stay home and care for our kids. Like any other job, there are great days and days where nothing seems to go right. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Hang in there!

 

[figment3258]

For me I am a sahm and a homeschooler. I always fee bad about what i spend but for us we are paying off debt and that helps a whole lot. I think the best thing is a budget and to stick to it,. Also I have a thread on this board called eat at home. That is what we are really trying to eat at home all three meals. we have declared janurary eat in month.

Don't feel bad about spending money give yourself a limit and that way you have ur fun money.

 

[NMW]

I have been a stay SAHM for 14 1/2 years now. Three kids 14, 12 and 9. I have to admit that my husband makes a very good income, so we live comfortably without a second income.

Just recently I have started to get bored and decided I would like to work part-time to get out the house, make a little money of my own, etc.

Anyway, My friend talked me into being seasonal help in a retail store with her. It sounded fun, so I went for it and got hired. It lasted 1 month for me. My DD 8 is still in elem school and had a week of 1/2 days before Thanksgiving. I had to tell them I couldn't work even though this was a busy time for retail and these were "black-out" dates that no one could request off. I told the manager that I was sorry, but I had no one to take care of my DD and couldn't work. Knowing that this issue would come up time and time again, I told her that I couldn't work for them anymore. She was very nice about it and I had fun the month I worked there. I just don't think it's something I will try again for a while. I actually couldn't work my last 2 scheduled days because my DD was home from school sick. It's like the universe was telling me I made the right decision.

Not to mention the fact that when I added up the gas I put into my SUV to get there, plus all the things I bought with my great employee discount, it actually COST me money to work there for that month.

So, maybe when my DD goes to middle school in 2 years I would try again. It was fun getting out of the house and meeting people.

To answer your question about guilt, no I don't feel guilty about not working. I clean, do laundry, make appointments, take the kids to all their appointments, pay all our bills, plan all our vacations, buy everyones clothing and shoes, grocery shop, Christmas shop and decorate, take the dog to the vet, and handle pretty much everything in our household. I don't feel guilty that I don't bring in an income and my husband doesn't care either. He likes our life the way it is and so do I.

 

[crisi]

I'm not a SAHM, but agree with a lot of what has been said.

One thing that hasn't been said is that you need to get and keep the spending under control - and the debt. And it will be hard and involve sacrifices (on the plus side, its a LOT harder to get two kids out of the house). A big reason for this is for the benefit of your husband. The more he NEEDS his job (and as the only breadwinner in the house, he needs it), the more stressful his job will be. Debt and high monthly expenses for things like dining out will add to the pressure. Your job is to make his job as easy as possible. And while not all men do this, there is the possibility that if the financial pressure on him is too much, he'll blame your SAHM-ness and begin to regret it. You cannot imagine the stress they guys in my place of employment who have SAHM wives radiate when there are layoff rumors. You can taste it. Those that have working wives, or kids out of the house - way less stress.

To ease the pressure:

1) Pay down debt.
2) Build an emergency fund
3) To do these things, spend as little as possible for a while

If you do this well, there won't be ANY reason to feel guilt.

One day a few years ago, after several years of "building emergency funds" and "paying down debt" my husband and I realized that if we BOTH lost our jobs we'd still manage to keep our house and feed our kids. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would be possible.

 

[mickeyboat]

I'm not a SAHM, but agree with a lot of what has been said.

One thing that hasn't been said is that you need to get and keep the spending under control - and the debt. And it will be hard and involve sacrifices (on the plus side, its a LOT harder to get two kids out of the house). A big reason for this is for the benefit of your husband. The more he NEEDS his job (and as the only breadwinner in the house, he needs it), the more stressful his job will be. Debt and high monthly expenses for things like dining out will add to the pressure. Your job is to make his job as easy as possible. And while not all men do this, there is the possibility that if the financial pressure on him is too much, he'll blame your SAHM-ness and begin to regret it. You cannot imagine the stress they guys in my place of employment who have SAHM wives radiate when there are layoff rumors. You can taste it. Those that have working wives, or kids out of the house - way less stress.

To ease the pressure:

1) Pay down debt.
2) Build an emergency fund
3) To do these things, spend as little as possible for a while

If you do this well, there won't be ANY reason to feel guilt.

One day a few years ago, after several years of "building emergency funds" and "paying down debt" my husband and I realized that if we BOTH lost our jobs we'd still manage to keep our house and feed our kids. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would be possible.

Also, don't forget to make sure you are otherwise protected - with medical, dental, life and disability insurance, and make sure you are able to save for retirement.

 

[jodifla]

The truth is, not every family can afford to have a SAHM. Even if they can swing it financially paycheck to paycheck, it takes a huge toll on the sole breadwinner over time, as Crisi rightly points out.

I agree with PPs that you both need to take a hard look at the budget and see what, if anything, can be trimmed. See what "allowance" you both can afford and take the bouncy park and other things out of that allowance to keep it reigned in. I remember trying to entertain my toddler in the winter months....the library is great, but you can only go there so many times a week. The list of "free" things is NOT endless in any community.

Then, if it looks as if DH's income won't cover you with a lot of scrimping, you need to decide if you want that kind of life. And if you want your kids to have that kind of life.

For the first 13 years of our marriage, we both worked full tilt. Once our son was born, one or the other of us has worked from home or part time -- but we've always brought in income, largely to keep our skills fresh and ourselves marketable should the primary breadwinner get laid off. Currently, I work nights to keep the amount of childcare to a minimum.

Good luck to you. I know it's a lot to think about.

 

[kirstenb1]

The truth is, not every family can afford to have a SAHM. Even if they can swing it financially paycheck to paycheck, it takes a huge toll on the sole breadwinner over time, as Crisi rightly points out.

I agree with PPs that you both need to take a hard look at the budget and see what, if anything, can be trimmed. See what "allowance" you both can afford and take the bouncy park and other things out of that allowance to keep it reigned in. I remember trying to entertain my toddler in the winter months....the library is great, but you can only go there so many times a week. The list of "free" things is NOT endless in any community.

Then, if it looks as if DH's income won't cover you with a lot of scrimping, you need to decide if you want that kind of life. And if you want your kids to have that kind of life.

For the first 13 years of our marriage, we both worked full tilt. Once our son was born, one or the other of us has worked from home or part time -- but we've always brought in income, largely to keep our skills fresh and ourselves marketable should the primary breadwinner get laid off. Currently, I work nights to keep the amount of childcare to a minimum.

Good luck to you. I know it's a lot to think about.

I agree. OP, I"m a SAHM and have been for 7 yrs. The kids are 12 and 5. If I were in your shoes, I'd go back to work. No sarcasm or ill-will intended. It's just wayyyy out of my "being able to sleep" at night zone to live paycheck to paycheck if there's another option.

Run an in-home daycare, pick up a paper route, sell Pampered Chef, whatever.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I was a SAHM for 10 years. I quit working when my oldest was 10 and my youngest was 7. With all their activities it was becoming too difficult to stay on top of everything when we both worked. It was still expensive as our kids went to private schools and participated in club soccer, swimming, and basketball, so it would not have been possible if we had any debt besides our mortgage and car payments. I know you want to be with your children, but when they are little it is much easier to work if you can find child care you are comfortable with. I just went back to work a year ago when DD was a senior in high school. You need to sit down with your husband and come up with a budget and a plan that works for your family. The older your kids become the more expensive things will be. Good luck!

 

[shortbun]

This SAHM thing is new to me. I'm working on a budget and we are looking pretty thin right now because I just pulled out all the stops financially for gifts. Lean months are ahead. I did spend 3 years working hard to get our debts paid off so I could do this-retire. We hardly ate out, there were little or no extra activities for the grownups. We did rent movies sometimes or bought a pizza but usually on $5 night at the local pizza joint or we'd just go to the library to get dvds. I paid off our debt two years ago-the mortgage too. We bought another house at a fab price and sold ours for asking price by really making it shine so still no mortgage. I do have one car loan but we owe less than half on a 2010 Odyssey so it's not a bad loan. I don't carry a balance on any credit card and I don't have any department store cards. We have our debit cards and one Visa card for travel or emergencies. I guess what I'm saying is - if you owe a lot of money, you can not afford a great vacation-we camped. If you owe on credit cards, you can not afford to go out to eat-even lunch; pack a sack lunch and eat in the car then go in a get a cup of coffee while your kids play. Rec centers have family play time too. We used to go to family open gym at our rec center every Friday night. Stay away from the mall. Invite another family over to play-mom too and get yourseld invited over there for a change of scenery. The library is your friend-free, free, free. Books, dvd's, CD's, kids programs and so forth. The local librarians still love my son and he's 15. Start a thread about what kind of things you can do for free. It's easy!!!! I still love to put on a pot of tea and invite a girlfriend over - free!

 

[MNmama]

Wow! Thank you all for your advice. Of course some if it I dont want to hear, but its exactly WHY I do NEED to hear it, if it makes sense.

A few things-

I did work PT retail outside of the home. When I got pregnant, they made me take a leave of absence becasue my doc didnt want me to climb ladders. So I am on a leave until the baby is born and then will go back to PT evenings for sure. I have even interviewed at other PT jobs as well.

My little one is almost 4.5 and the second one is due the end of March. We have been blessed beyond belief with freinds who have stuff for us to borrow. When we had # 1, we had to get everything new as we knew no one. Now all our friends are mostly on our second child so we just keep letting eachother use things. Its amazing how little I have to get for this child.

I do belong to a moms group. It HAS been my life since dd was little. Its been great. Now dd is in preschool and our afternoons just DRAG. Most of the kids still nap, so its hard for us some days to make it through the afternoon since DH works late. But I will say it IS alot during the winter. I live in MN and its crazy here this year with snow and cold. In the summer we are packing lunches, heading to the free beach, park playdates, zoo, etc. Even in the winter we will do that and pack a lunch and head to the zoo with the indoor stuff. I guess I am just in a funk.

As far as going back to work, its not possible right now. Daycare alone would KILL us and me going back to work at the wages being offered would make us break even where we are. But I do plan to work PT for sure after the baby, or before if someone hires me. I loved the evening work and def want to do that again.

We do use coupons.... And am trying even more to save more by menu planning, trying to use everything up in our cubbords, buy what we need, etc. Its been going good, but definatly an area that can STILL use some tweaking. If anyone has some great tips, I would love to hear them.

As far as debt. I will say that we have been so proud of ourselves. At the begining of 2010, we had 4 store cc, 2 major cc, car loan and student loan. I am happy to say that ALL of our store CC are gone and cut up, we only have one major CC now as the other is paid off and then our car loan and student loan. To us that is big. We have made big changes, but I KNOW we can do more.

DH and I are set to have coffee and a dinner date next week. We plan to talk over everything from our finances to our futures and how we want to proceed and budget. I am excited for the talk. Nervous as I am a spender, but excited because I TRULY want to be the best SAHM possible by not spending what we dont need to do. As for the trip, its been up in discussion to cancel, but I dont know if we will. And I hope I dont get flogged for it. Its still may happen though.

I guess I just needed and wanted other SAHM advice on how you save on money, how you deal with the LONG days, maybe a schedule of your day and how you break it up without getting into a funk. This SAHM thing is a choice we made and I am hoping to continue.. .but my family does come first and if it means going tow ork more, I will do it.

Thanks again for the advice. I do truly appreciate it... even if some of it I didnt want to hear. LOL

 

[crisi]

I guess I just needed and wanted other SAHM advice on how you save on money, how you deal with the LONG days, maybe a schedule of your day and how you break it up without getting into a funk. This SAHM thing is a choice we made and I am hoping to continue.. .but my family does come first and if it means going tow ork more, I will do it.

Honestly, I don't know how SAHMs do it. I was off and home for ten days around Christmas and my children and house drove me up the wall. I was so happy to see my desk this week! But I've always known I'd be a poor SAHM - it certainly doesn't seem to be my calling (though I certainly don't look down on anyone whose calling it is).