Sad, Pancreatic Tumor

[low-key]

hey

 

[AntePrincess]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loved one. I'm always very sorry to hear anything about pancreatic cancer. My dad passed away from this in 2002, just 2 months after diagnosis. By the time it was diagnosed it had already spread to his stomach, liver & lungs. He denied any treatments. We think he ended up passing from complications though, he developed gangrene in his foot & leg which is how he ended up in the hospital. It is such a horrible cancer simply because there really is no cure & it is so quick. He aged so much in those two months, even his hair turned white. Visit her early on & often, things can change quickly & she will be in a lot of pain. Your family will be in my prayers.

I'm sorry for your loss. We are seeing her this weekend and will try to see her, as a family, once a week even if she is bedridden. If she asks, we will go more frequently. I suspect that complications, medicine interactions, or her other medical issues will be what does it in the end. My best estimate is the generic 3-6 month window they give you. I'm so awful, but I'm expecting a baby in about 6 months and I find myself thinking rotten things like hoping it's over well before then, or just well after then, or just anytime but not at the same time.

Every person is different but my experience with pancreatic cancer that is not treated in any way is that there prognosis is short...less than a year and sometimes less than 6 months.

That's about what I'm expecting. They've actually suggested that treatment will shorten the time frame instead of extend it, but it might make her more comfortable in the meantime (thinking of the stent).

Right now our focus is on the living part. We're getting prints made of the family for her so we can be 'with' her at all times and we're going to bring over flowers, since she can still appreciate those even as her appetite fades. We're also trying to plan a larger family get together at her favorite restaurant, sooner rather than later, so she can see us all together in happier times rather than just right at the very end. Her daughter is her POA and executor, she's also a cancer survivor, so I've been talking to DH about what little things we can do to assist her and just nice gestures that might help her relax (gift certificates to get her nails done at the place she likes, flowers, meal delivery, that sort of thing).

 

[Disney Doll]

All good ideas OP.

 

[AntePrincess]

Stopping in to say that we saw her yesterday and we've gotten a call with more information today. Looks like we'll be doing more caretaking than I'd expected, even though she's in a nice facility - shuttling her around to doctors' appointments and I don't know what else. I'm officially overwhelmed between that and pregnancy and drama and... blah. Heart's just not in planning a Disney trip right now, maybe some other time. I'm going to focus on RL for a bit, starting with going out to get a laundry list of 'might help' supplies like sheepskin for the bed, electric blanket, and... well, I forgot some of it, but I'm sure someone will call and remind me while I'm out. I want this to go by quick and I want to hang on all at the same time. It feels weirder and weirder that she wanted us to go plant flowers at the family cemetery plot yesterday.

Thanks for your insights and sympathies. It looks like I'm going to be over a the Cancer Forums for awhile.