S/O thread - things you want to say to people in real life...

[rainy~daze]

where do I even start?????

"Pick you glass up to your mouth to drink, don't shove your face in it like a dog!!!"

"That's right, you're kid is the only special thing ever born. No one else in this world has even had a baby that could ever be as perfect and wonderful as yours. Yes, of course your baby's poop is cute, everything about him is just peachy perfect. Have I ever told you how much I wish you could have given birth to my children since you obviously are so much better at it than I am? Yes, I remember, yours is the only child to EVER roll over, walk, smile, giggle, say Dada, Mama, ah , hell, yours is the only kid to ever do ANYTHING and make it all look so perfect-----NOT!!!!!"

"if you say you will be here at 5, do not call me at 7 and tell me you might be late---you already freakin are!!!!"

"If I ask you for help related to something you are currently in school for, would like to make a profession out of, do not answer by saying I'll ask my boyfriend to do it, he is better at it than I am. Or at least remember not to say that during a job interview---moron!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!"

also,
"How stupid are you?"
"You are almost 40, you are not 17, stop trying to dress like you are. At least dye the grey out of your hair if you insist on dressing like a high school girl!"

 

[frndshpcptn]

Your perky Facebook posts bragging about your "super great!" 6 mile, 5 AM runs EVERY DAY are starting to get really annoying. I get it. You run 6 miles at 5 AM everyday. Yay you.


Marriages like yours make me thank god everyday that I'm single (and happy). You don't have to put up with it - really - you don't.

You are my friend and you will always be my friend. But what you did was wrong and although I'm "on your side" - I agree with the "wronged party" more than I agree with you right now.

 

[jog58]

Just because you're in the general vicinity of where I am having a conversation doesn't mean you're welcome to interrupt and talk about yourself. It is not only rude but extremely obnoxious. It is bad enough that looking at your face irritates me, you can't even imagine what your voice does.

 

[Ellie Mae]

Your daughter is ONLY 14 years old. She does not need to have fake nails and her hair colored. And quit giving her alcoholic drinks! She won't "go crazy" when she get to college because she didn't drink in high school.

Also your son is a monster. He may finally be on ritalin but he's still a 10 year old jerk.

You are a diva drama queen and your own worst enemy. I pity your husband and can't believe he ever married you in the first place.

 

[sara74]

Your son is a terror. Our children were not 'wrestling'. Your 3 year old slugged my 5 year old in the gut. That's why we all call your kid 'Bam-Bam' behind your back and why my 3 year old refers to him as "____-who-hits-me"

You aren't that busy. Stop pretending that you are. You have 2 kids who are in school all day and you are at home on Facebook. Telling everyone that you are busy doesn't make you more important.

No one at work likes you. We tolerate you, and when the big cheese retires and you are in charge, we're all outta there!

 

[pearlieq]

The pirate thing is getting weird. Time to lay off for a little while.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

If you really believe that, you are even more stupid than you look.

 

[focusondisney]

And I have more:

21. Yes, I think you are a HUGE wimp because you cannot go on roller coasters.

28. Wow. You produced a pretty ugly kid.

21. Excuse me? I am not a WIMP! I'm just delicate.

28. Boy is this one hysterical. Remember the Seinfeld episode " You have to see the baaby"? Don't we all wish we could say this at some point...

No... that outfit doesn't make you look fat. You are fat. And that cabinet full of Ho-Ho's isn't going to help.

So funny!



Ok, now for mine:

I worked on school holidays & vacations from the time my kids were in middle school, all so you could be home with your "little ones". Your "little ones" are now in HIGH SCHOOl & COLLEGE! And you still need to be off when they are??? You can't work now so the younger workers can be home with their "little ones" on school holidays? Makes me sorry I did it for you.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

stop complaining about how "omg nothing fits!!!! i hate this!!" and "ugh maternity clothes SUCK!!" maybe you should have thought about that 5 months ago....it's not like it was an "accident" you knew you were trying for a baby.

oh and also, stop complaining that "omg i'm gonna be friggen huge in the summer! you guys, what am i gonna do!?"

stop....just stop.....

can you tell most of mine are aimed at one person??

 

[WriteDisney]

I know you meant to hurt my feelings with your comment, but you're so crazy that it just makes me laugh. Not a regular laugh, mind you. The kind where everytime I think about it, I have to laugh some more. I'm going to be laughing about it for a long time.

So thank you!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I know you meant to hurt my feelings with your comment, but you're so crazy that it just makes me laugh. Not a regular laugh, mind you. The kind where everytime I think about it, I have to laugh some more. I'm going to be laughing about it for a long time.

So thank you!

I've come across this person more than once. It does make you laugh doesn't it?

 

[agnes!]

I know you meant to hurt my feelings with your comment, but you're so crazy that it just makes me laugh. Not a regular laugh, mind you. The kind where everytime I think about it, I have to laugh some more. I'm going to be laughing about it for a long time.

So thank you!

I've come across this person more than once. It does make you laugh doesn't it?

It either drives you to laughter or to think "no jury of my peers would convict me"...

agnes!

 

[tnkr_bell]

You just lost your wife of 20 yrs a year ago and now you want to marry some girl whose 25 years younger than you and you've never met so you can have kids....are you freakin kidding me?

 

[WriteDisney]

I've come across this person more than once. It does make you laugh doesn't it?

It either drives you to laughter or to think "no jury of my peers would convict me"...

agnes!

It's all I can do! I think you have to get to the point where it no longer bothers you, you just have to find it amusing.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

To the woman in front of me on line at Whole Foods...

"When you get in line for the '10 items or less' checkout, it is NOT OK to have 40 items and split them into 4 batches!!! How stupid are you???!!! That takes EVEN LONGER!!!!!! Don't act all huffy when the line of people behind you glare at you - what do you expect being that selfish!"

Phew! Feel better!

 

[Doe]

I'm sorry you paid $400 +travel expense & clothing expense to have your daughter play on a volleyball club team and she is getting no playing time. If you had bothered to read the parent handouts(which you initialed stating you did in fact read), you would have seen the section that went over what to expect as far as playing time goes and probably wouldn't have signed up. Or maybe you would have because you don't have a clue that at 14 your dd cannot serve, pass, set or hit and literally still ducks when a ball comes her way. So keep complaining and sitting up in the corner of the bleachers fuming over it. Your dd is an absolute sweetheart and your continual forcing her to play a sport is just wrong.

Wow, this thread is a great idea!

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

You just lost your wife of 20 yrs a year ago and now you want to marry some girl whose 25 years younger than you and you've never met so you can have kids....are you freakin kidding me?

Oh my.

 

[minniebeth]

I'm sorry you paid $400 +travel expense & clothing expense to have your daughter play on a volleyball club team and she is getting no playing time. If you had bothered to read the parent handouts(which you initialed stating you did in fact read), you would have seen the section that went over what to expect as far as playing time goes and probably wouldn't have signed up. Or maybe you would have because you don't have a clue that at 14 your dd cannot serve, pass, set or hit and literally still ducks when a ball comes her way. So keep complaining and sitting up in the corner of the bleachers fuming over it. Your dd is an absolute sweetheart and your continual forcing her to play a sport is just wrong.

Wow, this thread is a great idea!

I think we know the same people!

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Stop telling me that by actually thinking about my future, I am abandoning my father. I am not abandoning him! It’s none of your business but maybe he and I have discussed this at great length and he wants me to go!

Please stop describing me to people as your friend with the illness. I am much more than just my illness. And besides, I am getting better. How will you describe me after I am 100% better? Your friend who had an illness?

If you hate your life so much, stop being a passive observer in it. Work to make it better.

No, your mil did not put a voodoo spell on you to give you bad luck. You messed up your life long before she showed up.

No, my life is not perfect. Yes, I do have many things going for me. However, I am not lucky my life is the way it is! I worked hard to get where I am today. I admit, luck may have had something to do with it, but I played a part too!

When I come over to hang out with you, I come over to hang out with you. I did not come over to be a free babysitter for you so that you could go shopping or hang out with other friends. This is why I don’t come over much any more.

And…
Yes, babies are harder to take care of then dolls. Imagine that!

 

[Luvchefmic]

Don't tell me not to take it personally you moron...you're talking at me and I'm a person....